Duplicity
by Rosemonster
Summary: It's senior year, and Emily Fields has finally worked up the courage to tell Alison DiLaurentis how she really feels. But is it Alison that she tells? Emison.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I decided to do this story because I read the premise of Sara Shepard's Emison fanfic, and I thought, I could do something like that! Or at least do an homage. In case you haven't read the Pretty Little Liars books, let me give you some key points: Alison and Courtney are twins. Alison tricked her parents into sending Courtney to a mental hospital. Their parents haven't told anyone Courtney exists. Courtney switches back with Ali and pretends to be her, Ali goes to the mental hospital as "Courtney." This fic is crossed with the show, though, because I'm imagining all of the liars as the TV actresses. They have the same relationship pairings as the show, too, and no one has died. Also, there is no A in this story, Alison isn't psychotic, and Emily has never been with other girls/isn't out yet. She's only dated Ben, like in the show. Ali/Courtney  & Em haven't kissed. Ali/Courtney has flirted with Emily and is perhaps aware that Emily has a crush on her, but nothing has happened or been discussed.

Ultimately, just roll with it. Let me know what you think! I also took a different track with this opener. I've never written 2nd person, but I wanted to try it out. It's weird at first, but keep going, you'll get into it.

* * *

You are Alison DiLaurentis. You're blonde, blue eyed, and beautiful. You have all A's and you absolutely crush it in sports. You're everything everyone wants to be and, because of that, you're always surrounded by admirers. Of course you are. You're the It Girl of Rosewood Day middle school. People worship you, but people are also scared of you. They're scared because you make sure everyone knows how good you are at being you. You're the best. And you're the only one. You are up above and everyone else is down below. Your life is perfect, and let's face it, you are perfect, too.

But you're missing one thing, one thing that, without it, makes you a little less than perfect. One thing that represents everything you stand for. Your "A" ring, your signature mark. A is for Alison. A is for All Star. A is for Awe-inspiring. Your "A" ring is bright and shining, like you are, and without it, you are just that tiniest bit duller. It's gone missing and you need to find it.

So, there you are, crouched over the jewelry drawer you've pulled out of the vanity in your bathroom, throwing around every last ring, bangle, necklace, and makeup compact you can find but there's nothing there. There's no "A" ring. No prize at the bottom of the box. Where the fuck is it?

"Courtney, are you ready to go?" your mother asks, a hard look on her face.

"I'm not Courtney," you say back in your trademark, barbed tone. The type of tone that sends students scurrying away from you when they hear it in the hallways at school.

"You know that's not funny," she returns back, equally sharp. You finally look up at her, there's something off in her voice. She doesn't talk to _you_ that way. You're her golden child, her most prized possession. You're her "A" ring.

But that's not how she's looking at you now. Her arms are crossed, her expression severe. Like she's just received the wrong order at a five star restaurant. She hasn't moved an inch from the doorway. It makes you afraid, but the only way you know how to deal with fear, is with anger. You narrow your eyes.

"I said I'm not Courtney. She's in her room or something," you growl back.

She glances at your hand, you know the one, you know what she's looking for. Your fear hikes higher. You unconsciously rub the spot where it should've been, looking at the faint pale outline on your skin. The only trace left that you ever wore your ring at all.

"I've lost it," you say, starting to feel a little panicked. Why is she looking at you that way? Like you're mud? "I'm looking for it right now."

But she's not convinced. She glances outside, you can both hear the sound of voices.

"No, Alison is outside talking to some of her friends."

"What?" you snap. You look out the bathroom window too. But you don't just see her standing there talking to four dorky girls. You see your prize. You see your "A" ring glinting in the sunlight, like a diamond. On _her_ god damn finger.

"My ring," you say under your breath because you literally can't-fucking-believe it. "She took my ring."

Your dad chooses this price moment to enter the scene. Your mom shoots him a heavy look that you can't quite decipher. You're starting to feel outnumbered, though you're not sure why. These are your parents. They're on your side.

"She's saying she's Alison."

"I AM Alison," you say again, your voice higher than you'd like, betraying your fear.

He glances at your hand too. No ring. He sighs heavily, like you're such a burden, like, _why don't you just do what we say_?, like _you're making this harder on yourself._

"It's time to go, Courtney," he says, taking a step toward you, making you realize how large he is and how small you are. You drop the drawer on the floor, taking a step backwards, realizing you're backed into a corner. Like a wild animal.

"I'm Alison!" you scream, as he grabs your arm roughly, like you're just a sack of flour in the shape of a middle school girl.

"Daddy, why won't you listen to me?" you continue to cry out as he hoists you down the stairs. You hate the way you sound. So shrill, so pleading, so not like Alison DiLaurentis.

But you can't help it. You're desperate. You're starting to get really frightened. Frightened like the worst nightmare you've ever had. Like you're drowning, naked in class, and all your teeth are falling out at the same time. But you're shocked too, almost frozen, unable to react at what's happening as you're thrust into the back seat of your dad's new Mercedes. Why don't they recognize you? Why don't they believe you? Don't they know you?

You can't speak normally, make a logical argument. All you can do is keep screaming it at the top of your lungs.

"I'M ALISON!"

All the way there, all the way to Radley. You scream until your voice is hoarse, scream like you thought if you screamed loud enough that it would finally get through to them.

But it doesn't. And you quickly learn that screaming is a rookie mistake. Screaming gets you sedated. When you're sedated, you lose days, sometimes weeks. You can barely talk, barely slur, "I'm Alison." But you keep trying anyway. They drug you up so much and for so long you can't remember who the president is, what year you were born. You look out your window at night, not even sure how you're awake, where you even are… oh right, your _cell_ , and you see the sun, the ocean, pieces of broccoli dancing in the waves. You've never done drugs before, at least not like this, and it scares you. It makes you think maybe you are insane.

But you're not, god damn it. You're Alison. A is for Adamant. A is for Argue. But they strap you down, they call you a liar. They call you crazy. They say you have a history of violence. But, worst of all, they call you Courtney. They tell you over and over that you're not Alison, you are Courtney. You are Courtney. You hear it so much, you hear it in your sleep, like people beating you over the head with the letter C. Courtney. Courtney. Courtney. You are Courtney.

But you're not Courtney. So, they punish you. No, you mean, they "help" you. Their ways to "help" you are creative and varied. They put you in solitary. They take away your favorite things, your books. They take away your privacy by taking your door off its hinges. They make your wear signs that say, "I am a liar, do not believe me." They make you shower with a chaperone, not giving you a moment to yourself. They put leather masks on you, like you're a dog, not a human. All day, every day, they are always watching you. They think you are an instigator. And why wouldn't they? You are Courtney DiLaurentis, the problem child, the cracked egg. And you are. You quickly recruit people, create your very own Rosewood Day, though all its students are a little off kilter, a little askew. You use your army to enact petty torments. You revel in these small moments of revenge. But they always know it's you. They always find you and punish you.

After months and months and months of this, you realize, in a sickening kind of way, an inkling of what you put your sister through when you'd tricked her into Radley. You start to feel, maybe for the first time in your life, the sinking, breaking feeling of regret. You wish you'd never told your parents that Courtney had tried to kill you. In fact, you wished anything, every wish under the sun, every far out dashing hope, anything that would get you out of this place. You could see yourself, doped up on some drug with 18 letters, looking at yourself in your grimey bathroom mirror, a far cry from the one you'd been wrenched from, and you could see the light fading out of your eyes with each passing day. You didn't want to become Courtney.

You carve the words, KARMA IS A BITCH, into your notebook. You wish you could've written them in your blood. Or, better, in _her_ blood.

When nothing changes after a year, you think, maybe you're going about this in the wrong way. You're a smart girl, right? You were once perfect, once bright and shining. You could solve this riddle. But you know what cost it would come at. The very thing you have refused to fork over, like an untameable, unbroken wild stallion, for thirteen whole months. But you swallow that particularly big, fat pill, and you become Courtney. Because you want friends again. Because you want to kiss and flirt with boys again. You miss the power you had over _sane_ people. You want to shop and bike and play piano and wear different nail polishes. You want these things so badly that you play nice. You make best friends with former staff enemies. You smile so much your face aches from the exertion. In group therapy, you tell lost causes that they could change if they committed. That you believed in them. You don't, but you say it anyway. You are the most convincing anyone has ever seen. You are a ray of fucking sunshine. A is for Actress. A is for Academy Award. And it still takes a year.

And it's not easy. People say they understand commitment, dedication, but no one understands it like you do. Because you have a machine inside you that eats your hatred and anger and spits it out into compliments and sweetness. You're driven. When you think you can't do it any more, you imagine _her_ , and that is all that it ever takes _._ You see _her_ as clear as day in your mind. Two years that she has been Alison. Two years where she strutted down the halls, smiled at boys at your locker, wore your clothes, won your awards, impressed your parents.

The fury inside you burns brightly, but you try to channel it, channel it all into being Courtney. Even though you still hate yourself when you answer to that name. Sometimes you're even terrified that your acting is so all consuming, that you'll start to believe it, too. You wonder if this loss of self is really worth it. You wonder if you should've just said you were Alison until the day you died. That would teach them. But finally, with every last piece of your dignity stripped down and shredded, your captors, your enemies, your parents, _they_ say you can go home.

But you're tricked again. You underestimate your enemy and it costs you everything. God, you're so fucking stupid. Courtney has gotten better at being Alison, maybe better than you ever were, and she easily picks a fight with you. You're not even home a day, and she already bests you. She handily presses your buttons. She gets you to lose it, to throw something at her. You yell at the top of your lungs, demanding that she tells everyone the truth about what she did to you. Your parents see everything. Delusions, they say. Relapse, they say. Back to the hospital with you, Courtney. Back to your 500 mg's of meds, back to "bed rest."

Defeat can't even begin to describe what you feel. It was like you'd climbed to the top of a mountain, a big one, a mother fucking Everest, just to fall all the way back down, hitting every single rock, shard, and icicle along the way. You lay there at the bottom, in the muck, looking up at the pinnacle. So far away, so impossible. Unattainable. You'll never get up there again.

It is a hard time after that. You give up. You count the blades of grass on a meadow that is visible through your window, thinking, that's how many days you have left in this place. That's how many days left here until you die here. Thousands and thousands. Thousands and thousands and thousands.

They start hiding sharp objects from you. You never tell anyone you're Alison any more. A is for Acceptance. A is for Actually Not Getting the Fuck Out of Here Ever. Your mom visits, but who cares? She betrayed you. She doesn't even know you. But she makes you take your GED. You do it because what the fuck else are you doing in this hellscape. And it's easy, breezy. She says you can take college classes, and you do, but she's always with you. Not that it matters. You've been broken. There's only one kind of escape you think of.

One night, you go up to the roof. This is your spot. You discovered it when you finally learned how to pick locks. You've always felt lucky that it was one of those old locks, not the annoying, magnetized locks that required a key card. Or you wonder if it was that way on purpose. If they wanted patients, like you, to be able to get up here and jump. Save them some money on the bottom line at the end of the year. Either way, you stand on the concrete edge. You wonder how large a gust it would take for you to fall. You wonder if you would fight it. At least you'd die outside of this god forsaken place. At least you'd die free.

But then you turn, alarmed. You're not sure what you heard. You're terrified it was someone opening the door. But it wasn't, it's still closed. Was it a crack? A rustling? You notice something is out of place. Something is different. There. A branch is leaning on the roof. A branch from a tall oak tree close to the building. It had not been there yesterday. But there had been a terrible spring storm last night, everyone had huddled under their sheets, scared as shit. And, now, there it is laid out for you. It's your Cast Away port-a-potty wall. It's your ladder. It's your gangway.

You're standing by it before you even know what you're doing, your hand on the bark. You can see a clear path from the branch to the tree to the ground. But what if it breaks? Fuck it. You don't give a shit at this point. You're on the ground before you realize it. Then, you're racing through the woods, your heart pumping, your breaths short. Fuck, you're out of shape. But who cares! You're free at last. You're a Holocaust victim, running away from the electric fence. You're an escaped death row prisoner, the only thing missing, your orange jump suit. You left with what you had on: dark pajama pants, a white v-neck, sneakers, and a black hoodie.

Before you know it, you're standing in front of Alison's house, _your_ house. It could've been 60 or 600 miles, you have no idea how far you ran. It could've been the whole Oregon Trail but, poof, you're there. Looking over the canopied deck, you spot a chair that hadn't been there before. A new mat. Your rage flares, like a white hot stick of magnesium. What else have you missed? Only everything. Because Courtney is going to college soon. With _your_ name. With _your_ life. You might've stolen her middle school experience, but she's stolen your high school one. And, now, she was about to get away with stealing your entire fucking life. She is the last bus until morning. She is the last train heading out of the station. If you don't catch her now, you never will. No one will ever believe you. Four years has proven that. You'd be Courtney forever. C was for Crazy. C was for Cheater. C was for Cunt. No, that would not be the life for you. You weren't going to be left behind, forgotten. She doesn't get to destroy you and end up happily ever after. No fucking way.

* * *

Alison took a few unsteady steps towards the porch. A number of possibilities ran through her head. She could steal something of Courtney's, something that would allow her to switch back. Regain her rightful place. She could leave her a disturbing message, a nice little surprise to wake up to in the morning. She could look for secrets, something she could leverage against their parents to let her out of Radley. Or... Or she could kill her for what she'd done. Wasn't that fair? Wasn't that what Courtney deserved?

The thought sent a chill down her spine, though. She felt her hands shake, her teeth chatter, even though it wasn't cold. Not for her at least. Not after she'd run a thousand miles. No, they chattered because she was scared at the idea, her adrenaline spiking. She imagined her small, pale hands wrapping around her sister's sleeping form, and it was terrifying. But if she were gone, she could be Alison again. She could be Alison forever.

She glanced down at her hands. Could they do it? Could they commit murder? She saw her pajama pants behind them, though, and realized suddenly that she hadn't thought any of this through. What if someone saw her here, standing like a creep in the yard? What if the staff at Radley were looking for her now?

She looked out at the street, her ears perked. There were no sirens, no police brigade. But she was on a ticking clock, a timer. Whatever she was going to do, she had to act. She looked up again, contemplating her house in the dark, staring daggers at her sister's bedroom window, thinking about how she might get in, when she heard a quiet voice ring out in the night.

"Ali?" it asked questioningly.

She whipped around, terrified, her cerulean blue eyes landing on a tall figure in the shadows by the bushes.

"Sorry," it said again, "I didn't mean to scare you."

But the voice sounded soft, harmless enough. It didn't sound like someone who'd come to turn her in. Alison's shoulders untensed, she let out a relieved sigh, as the form emerged from the shadows. It was a girl. She was tall with an olive skin tone, black hair cascading past her shoulders, high cheek bones, dark, long eye lashes. She was gorgeous, to say the least.

"Hey," Alison said back uncertainly, not wanting to look weird, not wanting this random to suspect why she was there. Not that she ever would. No one in Rosewood had ever known she and Courtney were twins.

The girl crossed the yard over to Alison, giving her ample time to look her over, and she had no doubt that this girl was one of her sister's many followers. She was practically radiating unadulterated deference at Ali. Like if the clouds were to suddenly break in the overcast night sky and illuminate Ali in her own personal moonbeam. But something was familiar about her too. She thought that she might remember her from 8th grade, the last time she'd been Alison DiLaurentis. But she looked different then. Like a dork. Not as runway model-y. She also looked vaguely familiar from photographs, too, when Alison had come home that fateful weekend sophomore year. The sporty one. The one that looked at Courtney like the sun shined out of her ass. _Emily_. That was her name.

Shit, there were pictures of her all over Courtney's room. It made Alison nervous, tense again. Maybe she could trick a random friend, but a best friend? She didn't like her chances.

"Look, Emily, I really have to go-," she started awkwardly.

"No, Ali, wait," Emily said, grabbing her arm. Alison felt her fingers acutely, wrapped around her bicep. It stunned her, partially because of this stranger's proximity and partially because she couldn't remember the last time someone had touched her that wasn't trying to administer a shot or to tell her to calm down, with warning behind their eyes. This was different. Emily held her arm loosely, like she was overly concerned about hurting Alison.

"I have to get this off my chest before I lose my nerve," she explained, dropping Ali's arm, but maintaining their closeness.

Alison just stood there stiffly. Trapped. What was she supposed to do? Were Emily and Courtney in a fight? There was no way out of this, she'd have to pretend to be her.

"What is it?" Alison said cautiously, letting go of a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

"We're graduating soon, I know you know that-" Emily stammered. Ali lifted her eyebrows. Wow, her sister could even inspire fear in tall, tan goddesses.

"And I'm running out of days to find the words-there's 42 to be exact-before maybe we never see each other again, and it's been four years of keeping this all in," she said all in one long, rushed breath. She took a long pause, wringing her hands.

"Well?" Ali prompted. This Emily was really piquing her curiosity, which was making her become increasingly impatient.

"Well, the thing is, and this is hard to say. God, I feel like I'm going to throw up," Emily continued, becoming more and more spasmodic.

"You can tell me, Emily," Ali said, putting her hand on Emily's shoulder, trying to reassure her. Emily looked like she was in a grand amount of discomfort, like she was trying to pass a kidney stone or something, and, frankly, it looked painful.

"The thing is," she started again, her eyes glancing down at Ali's hand like it was in fact not helping, but making things worse. _Jesus, what was the deal?_ Ali thought. _Did Courtney whip this poor girl with branches? She's shaking._

"The thing IS," Emily tried to start once more, but stopped.

"Yes, Emily?" Ali prompted again.

"Well, Well-I-guess-what-I'm-trying-to-say-is-that-I'm-I'm-in-love-with-you," Emily said, but it all came out so quickly, it was almost unintelligible to Ali.

Alison arched her head slightly to the left, not quite sure what she'd heard. Or not quite sure that she heard something she _wanted_ to hear. "What?"

"I'm in love with you, Ali," Emily said again, less quickly, more breathy. _Damn_ , Ali thought. _That's what I thought she'd said._

Alison dropped her hand from Emily's shoulder in the least awkward way she could. No wonder she acted weird when she'd touched her. She'd been wrong. Way wrong. So wrong. It wasn't fear causing Emily to act like a spaz, it was love. Love. From a girl. For her sister. It almost made her laugh, made her want to march up the stairs and ask Courtney what in the actual fuck. God, even girls wanted to be her AND wanted her. The bitch.

She also wanted to laugh maniacally, insanely, at how unfair the timing was. This would fucking happen to her on the one god damn night she escaped Radley. Was she being tested? Was her whole life some big joke? Her lips quirked slightly in a smirk. This didn't go unnoticed by Emily, but she couldn't help it. Forever was she being thrown from the frying pan into the fire.

"In love?" she asked again slowly, trying to mask her hateful irony, trying to buy time.

"Yeah," she said back, taking in another shaky breath.

Alison was about to ask if this was an "in love" like you have for Justin Bieber or an "in love" like you have for rocket fire red nail polish, but suddenly the front porch light switched on, casting light over them at the bottom of the steps. Panic stricken, Alison grabbed Emily by the arm, much less carefully than Emily had grabbed her earlier, and dragged her around the side of the house at breakneck speed. If that was Courtney, she was going to be in some deep shit.

"What are you doing?" Emily whispered, flustered.

"I'm not supposed to be here," she said back in a rush.

"What do you mean-" but Alison, not having time for twenty questions, pressed Emily up against the cool, white siding, and stopped her from saying another word with one finger pressed to her lips. Emily's eyes were wide, but she didn't say anything as they both listened to the front door creak open.

Removing her fingers from Emily's mouth, Alison peaked around the corner of the house. She heaved an incredible sigh of relief when she saw it was only Jason, looking around suspiciously. She hadn't seen him in a long time. He looked more muscular and lean. Just generally older.

"Good, it's only my dumb brother," she whispered, glancing back at Emily, who was just staring at her, confused as ever. "I'm supposed to be in my room. He's a huge narc."

Emily didn't say anything back. She just looked at Ali with her big, brown, trusting eyes. Ali watched her take her lip into her mouth, and was suddenly reminded again: _This girl thinks I'm Courtney. This girl is in love with Courtney. I could use this._

Alison waited until Jason went back into the house before turning back to Courtney's love sick puppy.

"I'm really flattered by the way," she said, keeping her voice low. That had definitely been stupid to talk at full volume right in of the front door.

Emily shifted uncomfortably.

"Thank you for telling me, I know it was hard," she added, trying to amp up the sweetness, giving Emily the strongest dose of doe eyes she could muster. It had been awhile since she'd turned the charm on, and she hoped it still worked.

Emily smiled slightly. Ali took a pause. God, she couldn't believe she was about to do this. If she was caught, she was going to look like a total lunatic. No way out of it. Locked up for life. But if she wasn't caught, she could have everything she'd wanted these last four long years. It was a gambit, but this girl could be her wild card, her ace in the hole.

"But I do need time to process this," Alison finished. Emily looked crushed.

"I'm not saying there's not—not a chance for us," ugh, never in ten lifetimes did Alison think she'd be saying this to a girl, "But let's spend more time together, okay?" she continued, taking Emily's hand. Emily looked one hundred times brighter.

"I need your help with something," Ali whispered, looking around as if she was paranoid someone would hear. "A special project. No one else can know."

God, she sounded like her mother. Jessica always said that type of shit to Alison and Courtney when they were growing up. Everyone lived and breathed secrets in the DiLaurentis house.

"What is it, Ali?" Emily asked, but it might as well have been _"I'd do anything for you."_ Her adoration was almost too much for Alison, maybe because it had been so long since anyone had looked at her like that. But she did secretly love how her name rolled off of Emily's tongue. Her _real_ name.

"Meet me here tomorrow night. Right here," she said, pointing at the ground. "Same time. We'll get started then."

"And, Emily," she said, squeezing the brunette's hand tightly. "This is really important. Don't tell anyone, not a soul. Don't even talk to me about this tomorrow, okay? I'll just pretend I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay," Emily nodded obediently, though still looking slightly confused.

Ali took a breath, steeling herself, and moved a little closer to Emily. "It's our secret, a big one," she said. She could practically feel Emily's breath on her face, Emily palm becoming slightly sweaty in her hand. "Can you keep it?"

"Yes, Ali," Emily said, her cheeks looking slightly red, even in the darkness. She was obviously affected by Alison's nearness.

"See you tomorrow," Alison said, and she turned trying not to walk too quickly around the back of the house. Once she was sure Emily couldn't see her, she broke out into a run through the woods behind the Hastings house. She had some shit to do before tomorrow.

Maybe life wasn't so bleak after all. Maybe she would get back to the top of her Everest.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** On the timing for this story, it's different than the books. Courtney was in Radley 5-8th grade (not 3rd-6th). Alison has been in Radley as Courtney during 9th-12th (not 6th-7th). She was allowed to come back briefly in 10th before being sent back again. It's almost the end of 12th grade when this story starts. Thank you for the reviews! I'm really excited about this story! I have all the chapters (there are 10) planned out and partially written, so this definitely won't get abandoned :).

* * *

Ali had been busy, busy since the night before. She'd barely slept, but she felt renewed. Reborn. Unstoppable. She kept going through the list of items in her mind that she would need: money, ID, proof. Money, ID, proof. Money, ID, proof. And, if she had time, a sweet, cold cocktail of revenge.

After she'd stolen a few items (a trowel, a dusty backpack, tape, almost everything, really, that had seemed useful) from her neighbor's garden shed, she'd made her way back to Radley. Laying back on her lumpy, springy cot, she'd thought long and hard, deep into the early morning, about what her next steps would be. As much as she wanted her life as fabulous Ali D back, there was no way she'd be able to switch back with Courtney at this point. She wasn't totally confident she could convince _one_ of her friends, much less _all_ of them, their parents, and the city of Rosewood. Courtney had years of memories on her, skills Alison could never hope to imitate. It would be really convenient if Courtney had kept some sort of diary, detailing her every thought and secret, but she doubted her sister would be so careless. She had to let that dream go. There was no way she could switch back.

But just because she couldn't be Alison DiLaurentis didn't mean she couldn't be someone else. And she sure as fuck wasn't going to be Courtney. So she needed to get an ID and money and start a new life far, far away from this brightly burning trash fire. If not, she would certainly stay here and rot on the unlikely hope her parents might let her out when she was old and gray. _Door one, please._

After what felt like she'd watched every single second tick by that day, she headed back up to the roof around 10 PM. She was going to need awhile to walk all the way back to her house. At least escaping your tragic fate burned calories.

As she opened the roof access door, she closed her eyes for a moment, praying that branch would still be there. She was pretty sure it would be, she'd watched it like a hawk all day, but she never knew what to expect in this fuck up of a life. She would _need_ to find a solution to that tonight, some other way to get out of this place. At most, she only had a few more days until workers would be out here, wood chipping every twig of her salvation. She'd figure something out.

She grabbed the backpack she hid under the casing of a broken AC unit, and headed down to the ground. After what felt like a thousand miles, her legs and feet aching, she emerged out of Spencer's yard and crossed over to her house. Just as she placed one hand on the siding of their spot, she heard a rustle and spotted Emily pushing through the bushes, just like she had last night. She really knew how to come out of a bush. _Ha._

"Emily," she called out to her in a whisper, Emily's head jerking in her direction.

There was a part of her that thought Emily wouldn't show, that she might've figured things out somehow during the day. There was an even worse part of her that thought she _would_ come, but toting police officers and hospital staff.

Ali was so excited when she saw neither, she couldn't help but smile widely at Emily as she approached. She took both of Emily's arms at the elbows before impulsively pulling her into a tight hug. She even closed her eyes, and it wasn't totally an act. She was genuinely happy to see the brunette, ecstatic that she had followed her rules.

"Hey," Emily said breathily against Ali's ear.

Ali could tell Emily was slightly flustered from the way she'd embraced her, her arms felt tense, frozen on her back. She liked it. Kind of at least. She'd forgotten what it was like to have the "Alison" effect on people.

When she pulled away, she took in Emily's appearance for the first time. Emily was wearing form fitting jeans, sneakers, and a _loud_ , orange top. No jacket.

"Emily," she started exasperated. "You can _not_ wear that."

Emily looked innocently at her shirt.

"Why, what's wrong?"

"I'm pretty sure astronauts in space can see that top."

"It's not that bad, is it?"

"That is bright orange, _neon_ orange," Alison said, scanning over the shirt again, picking at the hem. "Flaming you could even say." She couldn't help but smirk slightly.

"Well," Emily responded, looking a touch embarrassed. "Do you have something I could borrow? We could go upstairs?"

"No," she responded quickly. "Let's go to your house."

Emily looked at her questioningly.

"My brother is still up watching—" it took her a second to think of a lie, what was even on TV now? What would he watch? "some X games show where guys are constantly wracking themselves on bars." That was still a thing, right?

"Oh, sure," Emily responded, not even looking like she slightly suspected Ali of lying. _So sweet_ , Ali thought. "Do you want to take your car?"

Ali went from smiling sweetly at Emily to notably bristling. She didn't have a car. Courtney did. She wondered what kind it was, glancing curiously at the DiLaurentis three car garage. A beamer? A Mercedes, like her parents?

"No, let's walk," she responded back with a clenched jaw. She could check what kind it was later. Maybe even break into it, look for something to steal. If only her "A" ring was in there. But she doubted Courtney ever let _that_ out of her sight.

Emily nodded, turning back towards the side walk. As they walked, Alison let her lead, pretending to look around distracted, but honestly she had no idea where Emily lived. She hoped Emily couldn't tell, the brunette kept stealing furtive glances at Ali. Was she always like this? This girl could stare and stare and stare. She was happy her hoodie was up, lest Emily could spot any differences between she and Courtney. And there _were_ differences between them. Even if Alison's own damn parents couldn't tell them apart, she knew that her eyes were bluer, that her hair was darker, that she was just perceptibly more beautiful than Courtney. But she wasn't in shape any more. If Courtney still did _her_ sport, field hockey, she'd be a lot more toned. And tan. Alison was happy it was night time.

It wasn't a long before they came upon an old, stately looking two story home. Emily led the way to the front door, looking uneasy.

"My mom is home, but she should be asleep, we need to be quiet," she whispered to Alison, who nodded.

Emily quietly opened the front door and Alison immediately noticed the wood floors. She tried her best to be as light as possible, but there were still a few creaks as they quickly crossed to the stairs. Emily jumped the first step and Ali copied her, relieved that Emily had gone first. A blunder like that, not skipping a stair that Courtney would've known like the back of her hand, might've caused Emily to suspect something.

Emily silently padded down the upstairs hall and slowly opened the first door that came up on the left. _This must be her room_ , Alison thought following close behind. When they entered, the room was blanketed in darkness. Ali could barely make out a thing other than Emily's shadowed back. But Emily silently moved to the right, switching on her bedside light. She softly smiled at Alison before crossing to her closet, her hand shifting inside, sifting through her clothing.

While Emily's back was turned, Ali took the opportunity to look over her bedroom. Emily had an entire shelf lined with swimming medals and trophies. That explained her well-muscled body. _Emily Fields,_ she read on a Stanford acceptance letter pinned to a cork board next to the trophy shelf. That was good, she hadn't been entirely sure of her last name. The rest of the room was, the only word Ali could think of was "cute." Her eyes glazed over the bookshelves, her desk, until they fell onto a picture, a familiar face.

She moved over to the desk, picking up the frame. It was Courtney and Emily. She'd seen this photo before, this same one in Courtney's bedroom. Their heads were pressed close, their smiles huge and authentic. Their happiness was palpable. Examining the picture closer, she wondered if Courtney might've returned the feelings Emily had for her, how Courtney might've reacted if it had been her receiving her proclamation of love in their front yard. Alison felt a stab of…she wasn't sure what.

She put it down, uncomfortable with the feeling. She realized she didn't know what Courtney might've done. She barely knew her sister. Maybe Courtney _was_ gay. She looked back at Emily, who was bent over in her closet, rooting through a basket. Alison's eyes unconsciously followed the lines of her calves and her thighs, all the way up to her round backside. If Courtney was going to be gay, it would definitely be for this girl. _I mean, I have eyes,_ Ali thought, trying to rationalize checking Emily out. She could see Emily was alarmingly pretty. Actress pretty.

At that moment, Emily stood and turned, making Ali almost jump, making her feel like she'd been caught doing something weird. She set the photo frame down inconspicuously as Emily held up another top. It was blue.

"God, you're adorable, Em," Ali said tilting her head to the side. This girl. She was so innocent. "But you need something dark, preferably black. You don't want people to recognize you."

Emily looked at Alison skeptically.

"And why don't I want people to recognize me? What exactly are we doing, Ali?"

 _Ali, Ali, Ali._ Alison could listen to Emily say her name all day. She was enjoying it so much, she'd almost not heard her question at all. Remembering, Alison just smiled at Emily mysteriously. She couldn't tell her too much of the plan because maybe Emily wouldn't come. And she needed her car. So, the less she said around her and the more she listened, the better.

"Here," Ali said as she moved past her on the way to Emily's closet. Ali could smell the scent of chlorine, still faintly lingering on Emily, as she passed her. _Swimmer_ , she thought again. She probably looked even better in water.

"Ali..." Emily said slowly. _Mmmm, yes, Em_ , Alison thought. _Say it again_. "Are we doing something illegal?"

Ali sighed. "You're starting to sound like a real Mrs. Fields, Em. It's not a good look," she said, throwing back a mocking, half smile. Frankly, she was proud of herself for the reference. She couldn't have even come up with that if she wasn't such a good little spy. She was _so_ smart.

Ali turned back to the closet, self-satisfied. She hunted through it, quickly grabbing a black jersey that had some dark purple lettering on it.

"This is perfect, very sporty chic," she said with a double eyebrow raise, holding it out to Emily. Emily took it uncertainly.

"And these," she added, grabbing some of Emily's tight black running leggings. "And this." She ended handing Emily a black jacket.

Emily just held the pile quizzically, like she had a baby in her hands that she didn't quite know what to do with.

"All black? I'm going to look like a criminal."

"That's the idea," Ali said lightly. Emily gaped.

"Why?" she asked, vexed. "Are we robbing a bank?"

"What if I said yes, Em? Would you do it with me?" Alison replied, smiling her thousand watt smile over her shoulder as she bent over, reaching to grab a pair of black boots.

Alison could tell Emily was caught off guard by the question, by how overtly flirty Ali was being. But it felt nice to feel wanted, to feel sexy to someone. She noticed Emily glance unconsciously at her ass as well. _Yep, that's right. Your turn._ But she felt the smile fall off her face the second she wondered if this was how her sister felt, if this was why Courtney kept Emily close. She felt something briefly jolt through her, again, maybe the same feeling from before. Jealousy?

 _Ugh. I should probably stop,_ Alison thought unpleasantly. She didn't really need to play this role so well. She didn't need to mess with this poor girl's emotions in exchange for her help for one night. But she couldn't deny that it felt good in an odd, inexplicable way. This wasn't just some random, asshole guy that wanted to bang Courtney. This was Emily, an all star swimmer, a total fox, and obviously a sweet and loyal friend. It felt special to have her love. Even if it wasn't totally hers, it could've been, maybe would've been if Courtney and her roles had been reversed.

"Of course you would," she said confidently as Emily still stammered to respond. She tossed the black boots towards her.

Emily looked over the clothes again, her jaw tight, making no clear movement to put them on. Alison could practically read every single anxious thought running through her head. Like an eye chart who's every letter was the giant top _E_. _E for Emily._

"Oh, calm down, Nervous Nelly," she tried to assure her. "We're not doing anything illegal. I just don't want someone seeing us around and telling our parents."

Emily nodded, looking more comforted by that but still apprehensive. She picked up the clothes but glanced at Alison, looking concerned, before making a small move towards the door.

"You can change in front of me, you know," Alison said with a lilt in her voice, sure she'd read her mind correctly again. She couldn't help teasing her, she liked seeing Emily blush. She was starting to like the way Emily stared, the way Emily looked at her. _The sun shines out of my ass now, Courtney._

Emily smiled awkwardly, but she took the pile of clothes and left the room anyway. Ali sighed. Hopefully, she could bring her out of her shell a little bit. Emily honestly didn't seem to be aware of how gorgeous she was. A little more confidence, and she could have anyone she wanted.

 _But she wants you._ _No,_ _not you,_ she thought. _Your stupid sister._

What a waste.

Gritting her teeth, she moved to Emily's window where there was a nice little window seat. She gazed down at the seat cushion and noticed a release latch that she could use to open it, that there was probably storage underneath. Curiously, she lifted the seat lid, and looked down at a long, black, rope ladder. Jack pot.

She turned, holding it up, when she heard the door creak back open, smiling her half smile.

"You ever have boys climb up this, sweet Emily?"

Emily glanced at the ladder and then back at Ali, blushing.

"No, I-uh—"

"Girls?" Ali interrupted, lifting an eyebrow.

"No, Ali, I haven't ever—no boys, no—" she sputtered, embarrassed. Ali was sure she was going to say, "girls", but instead she finished, "no one's used it. My dad's just paranoid about a fire."

Well, at least that answered a lingering question Ali had, whether Emily had had well-known crushes on other girls before. Whether or not she was openly gay. She felt a little swell of pride that Courtney/she was the only one Emily appeared to feel that way about.

Ali fingered the coarse material in her hand. "Can I borrow it?"

"Yeah," Emily answered. Ali wasn't surprised, she got the distinct feeling that Emily would give her anything she asked.

"Great," she said, smiling. Her luck was definitely on the turn. This ladder would be perfect for when they fixed the fallen branch. She pulled it out of the box and slung it over her shoulder, it was heavy as _shit_. She crossed the room, her eyes sweeping over Emily's new outfit for the first time.

"Much better, by the way," she said moving her hands down Emily's arms, over the black jacket. She turned Emily towards a standup mirror in the corner of her room.

"Bonnie and Clyde."

* * *

Ali was acting differently, but Emily wasn't quite sure how. It was little things, though. She seemed quieter, listening and watching Emily more than usual. Ali would usually dominate her and her friends in conversation, corralling them where she wanted them to go like lambs for slaughter. It wasn't that Ali didn't care about what they had to say, it just always seemed like she knew exactly what she wanted from each of them and didn't appreciate deviances from that agenda.

But the main jarring difference for Emily wasn't that. It was how flirty Alison was acting. How phenomenally more touchy. Emily could count the number of times Ali had been physically close to her in the last several years. She could count them because she'd memorized all of them, the dates, the images burned into her brain, ready to play at odd, inconvenient times like during tests or late at night when she was trying to sleep. But over the last two nights, that number had doubled and, if it stayed on its current course, would triple.

Emily thought that maybe it had to do what she'd told Alison. About the way she'd felt. About the burden she'd carried since she'd realized the terrible, all consuming crush she'd developed on her. She thought the little differences could maybe, hopefully, be credited to Ali's way of saying she felt the same. Or at least that she was getting there.

After Ali weirdly made Emily change her clothes, she asked her to drive her somewhere, still not giving her an address, just directions. Emily had no idea what they were doing or where they were going, but she did feel a little thrill in the back of her throat, a jumpiness in her chest. She'd practically been obsessing about Alison all day. It had been incredibly difficult at first not to corner her at school, but it became easier when Ali had acted just like she said she would. Completely oblivious. Not a breath to Emily about what had transpired. And now that Ali was finally alone with her, Emily was nervous, giddy. She was excited Ali would trust her with something like this, whatever "this" was. It was rare to have Ali's full and singular attention, and Emily wanted to capitalize on it. Even half the time they spent together, Ali would be on her phone. Or she'd pick it up the second it buzzed. She hadn't seen her on it once tonight, though, and it was nice. She was happy Ali was acting normal again. Well, sort of at least.

"Here it is," Ali said, craning her neck to peer out of Emily's driver's side window.

Apparently dissatisfied with the view, she leaned her body across Emily's for a better look, her hand resting on the door frame, her arm brushing the top of Emily's thighs. Her hair hung in front of Emily's face, smelling sweet, like vanilla. It seemed different than how Alison usually smelled, but, regardless, Emily thought she could die in that scent. She had to force herself to act as normal as she could, following Ali's gaze with a jerky head motion, terrified to make a move in case she touched Alison. She could've sworn Ali wore a small smirk.

Focusing on what she saw, it wasn't much to look at to Emily. Just a typical looking storage place. It was a bit shoddy and run down, which didn't surprise her since they'd driven to the outskirts of town. Frankly, a part of Rosewood Emily's dad had told her not to visit. _And_ it was night time. She didn't think he would be very pleased if he could see her now.

"Park around the back," Ali instructed as she moved back into her seat. Emily waited for further explanation, but Ali just looked back at her expectantly.

"We're not driving in?" Emily asked.

"No, I don't want your car on the security cameras," she replied, as if this the most normal thing in the world to say.

"Ali," Emily said sternly, and, _wow_ , she did sound like her mother. "You're not making me feel better about this not being illegal."

"It's not, I promise," she said easily, with a shrug.

It made Emily wonder if Ali did things like this all the time, without her friends knowledge. Emily had always known she was secretive and guarded, but never to what extent. If Ali _had_ ever done anything like this, she certainly didn't do it with Emily. She knew how straight-laced and vanilla Emily could be. It seemed like she knew that now, as Ali looked back at her with dissatisfaction, like Emily's reservation was cramping her style. Emily didn't want to disappoint her, though, she wanted to be a part of her secret. She also wanted Ali to keep touching her, to keep leaning over her seat, so she relented and moved the car around to the back of the facility.

They hopped out onto a lonely, darkly lit street. Emily had to resist the urge to sprint to wherever they were going, she did not feel safe. She followed Ali closely, practically on top of her, like Ali was her guard dog. But then Ali stopped sharply causing Emily's front to collide with her back. Ali turned swiftly, seemingly unfazed but Emily's clumsiness, so close to Emily that she could feel the blonde's breath on her cheek.

"Pull your hoodie up," she said quietly. Emily did it, unable to pull her eyes from Ali's beautiful heart shaped face.

Ali turned again, circling around to the side of the building. She looked up as they crossed through a small ray of light, her eyes following it to an open window. They could hear soft country music floating out into the night, could see the outline of a figure sitting at a desk. _Probably the night manager,_ Emily thought. Ali glanced back at her, putting a slender finger to her lips, before slipping past the window towards the car entry gate.

After appraising the gate for a few moments, her deep blue eyes scanning the tall bars, she picked an area that had the biggest gap.

"Have you been here before?" Emily whispered. This all seemed a little too second nature for Alison.

"No," she said back, but her tone was unusually higher. Emily wasn't convinced.

Alison made a move to squeeze through the bars, but Emily caught her arm, causing the blonde to look at her inquiringly.

"My head is not going to fit through there, Alison," Emily murmured urgently.

But Alison nimbly shifted out of Emily's grip, pushing her body through the small opening. She smiled at Emily on the other side and held out her hand. "Come on, killer."

Emily could immediately feel her face color. Ali had never called her that nickname, and she wasn't totally sure what she meant. Was she making fun of Emily for being so hesitant? Flustered but now motivated to at least give it a try, Emily took her hand and tried to get through the two cold, metal bars. It took some strategic maneuvering and definitely wasn't as graceful or as fluid as Alison's entry, but she finally made it. Ali arched an eyebrow, impressed, but Emily could only focus on Ali's warm fingers pressed against her own.

"What now?" she asked, her heart hammering.

"Follow me," Ali whispered, towing Emily by their conjoined hands across the vacant lot.

She looked down several rows of storage units, as if she was trying to remember something, before finally settling on the third to last row. She walked up to a unit, looking at the numbers, and stopped in front of "455." Her eyes fell on two thick padlocks. She crouched down next to them, pulling two thin instruments out of her backpack.

"What are you doing?" Emily rasped in a whisper.

"What does it look like?" she replied as she slid the two pieces steadily into the key hole.

"Ali, are you insane?" Emily continued, disbelievingly. Was Ali secretly a spy? Did she lead a double life?

"That's what they keep telling me," she whispered under her breath. _What?_ Emily thought, looking at Alison strangely for a second. But Ali ignored it.

"Ali," Emily said more resolutely, feeling her panic surge. She placed her hand on Alison's, stopping her from moving the lock picks. "You said we wouldn't be breaking any laws. This is definitely a crime."

"Look, Emily," she said, standing. "This is my family's storage unit, you can't break into something that's yours."

"If it's yours, why are we breaking into it at all?"

"I don't have the key, my parents have it," she countered.

"Why couldn't you ask them for it?"

"Do you always ask so many questions?" she said back in a huff, her voice raising just a hair above whispering.

But Emily just stood there, crossing her arms. She reminded Ali of the horses her family would visit when she and Courtney took riding lessons back in Connecticut. The stubborn ones that wouldn't budge when you wanted them to move.

"I promise we won't get into trouble, okay?' she said moving closer to Emily. "I promise it's my family's unit. You just have to trust me."

Ali took Emily's hand again, forcing her to unfold her crossed arms. Emily's gaze softened a little at that, her eyes lingering on their intertwined fingers. Emily liked it. Ali's hands were warm and dry, not cold or sticky. They were softer than any guys, and Emily's hand was big enough to hold hers easily within, a novelty. She had never really held another girl's hand before, at least not like this.

Ali stared down at their hands, too, before she surprised Emily by pushing their palms flat, lifting them up to her eyes. Her hoodie fell back slightly, revealing the cerulean irises that Emily had so come to love. They looked just a little bluer tonight. Maybe it was just the low light or the adrenaline coursing through Emily's body. It took a moment for Emily to realize that Ali was measuring how much longer Emily's fingers were compared to her own. This was not something Ali had ever done, and it was definitely going down as a highlight in Emily's "Ali Touches" memory bank.

"God, Emily," she said, indicating how Emily almost had a full finger tip length over each of her fingers. "This is why you're so good at swimming."

Emily smiled bashfully, pressing harder back against Ali's palm, pushing her wrist back a little, causing Ali's eyes to flicker to hers. Maintaining eye contact, a small smile forming at the corner of her mouth, Ali stretched their arms out, her fingers sliding down to Emily's wrist, lightly under the sleeve of her jacket. She looked at it again, observing how Emily's arm, too, was much longer than hers.

"And other things, too, I bet," she added quietly.

Emily could hardly breathe. She felt a tingle travel all the way from where Ali's fingers played lightly against her skin to her stomach. And lower.

"What do you mean?" Emily barely managed to say.

"Piano," she winked, but Emily had the distinct impression that that was _not_ what she meant.

"Hold on," she said, dropping their hands. "This lock isn't going to pick itself."

She crouched back down and continued her work. It actually took less time than Emily would've thought. Not that she would've known how much time lock picking took anyway. But after several minutes, she heard the first lock pop open followed by the second a few minutes later. Emily was impressed.

"Wow, Ali, you have to teach me how to do that."

"Really?" she said with a teasing smile, dropping the lock to the ground with a loud metallic clink. "Emily, Patron Saint of Rules, wants to learn how to lock pick?"

"I think if I were a saint, I wouldn't be here right now," Emily replied dryly.

"Too true," she conceded. "Saints are overrated anyway," she said, her impish smile still on her pink lips as she leaned over to lift the sliding, overhead door.

Emily moved to help her, both of them lifting it as quietly and slowly as they could.

* * *

Ali's heart was racing as they slid open the storage unit door. She liked to think it was not _only_ because she'd practically eye sexed the shit out of Emily, but because she was so close to her goal.

"It's so dark in here," Emily commented, and it was true, it was basically pitch black. Ali could only blindly make out the silhouette of several boxes and bins stacked up.

"Here, give me your phone as a light," she said, holding out her hand to Emily.

Emily slid her phone out of her pocket, but asked, "Shouldn't we both use our phones?"

 _Shit_ , Ali thought. "No, I need you to be the lookout."

Emily seemed to buy that, turning her back to look down the row of storage units. Good, she didn't really want Emily to see too much of anything in here, anyway. What if there were photos of her and Courtney?

With the help of Emily's phone light, she immediately spotted what she was looking for: a stack of brown boxes and plastic bins with the large letter 'C' sharpied onto their surfaces. She'd lied to Emily earlier. She _had_ been here before. When her parents had allowed her to come home from Radley in 10th grade, they'd stopped at this storage unit to grab containers of Courtney's old things. Back then, Alison had noticed that several of the items had been hers originally, Courtney must've tried to get rid of them in the two years she'd been gone, when she'd taken over Alison's life, and her parents must've put them in this unit with everything else. It was ironic, after all, receiving the same discarded comforter, posters, vanity set she'd once had as Alison back as "Courtney." So fucking funny.

She pulled them down from where they were stacked, ripping them open as quietly as she could. This caused Emily to gaze back at her, glancing at other items in the unit.

"Hey, isn't this your old bedroom furniture?"

"You—you remember that?" Ali said, looking up, slightly surprised. She felt a flicker of something hard to pinpoint, a thrill, an elation. It was endearing that Emily remembered everything about Courtney so far back that she could almost even remember Ali.

"Yeah, you used that mirror when we first became friends. Remember, in 9th grade?" she asked with a smile that Alison could just make out in the blackness. "You said that a new grade meant a new you, and it was time for a fresh start."

This made Ali frown. Of course Courtney said that.

"Right," she said darkly, looking back into the box, angrily moving several papers around.

Emily seemed to notice her change in mood, shifting uncomfortably.

"Well, I'm glad this is actually your unit," she added, sounding relieved that they hadn't _totally_ broken a law.

"I told you," she said, glancing back up at Emily. Alison thought it was cute if she was trying to make her feel better. It did, a little. She wasn't _always_ a liar.

"What are you looking for, anyway?"

"My parents took something away from me a few years ago," she said distractedly, discovering the second box was a bust, too. She moved on to the next one.

"Something precious. I want it back. I think they may have hidden from me in here. That's why I couldn't ask for the key."

It was partially true. Her parents _had_ taken something from her: her freedom, her identity, her family. But also, when Ali had returned home after leaving the unit, she'd immediately collected as much money as she could find in the household. _Institutionalization makes you crazy that way,_ she thought bitterly. She'd been like a weird magpie, gathering and hiding as many treasures as she could find. Especially things that had originally been hers. An old silver necklace, a beautifully inscribed makeup compact, and, by far the most valuable, a key to the DiLaurentis house off of Courtney's key ring.

She'd hidden her hoard in an old lunchbox they'd brought back from this very unit. She hadn't had time to get it before she was carted away again, but she had a hunch that they would've packed all her things up, lunchbox included, and never once looked at any of it again. Just like they'd treated Alison, that's how her family liked to deal with problems. Hide them and forget about them in some dank, dark, dirty place like this storage unit.

Emily watched Ali as she sighed, moving into the fourth box, pulling out random objects and mementos until her hand finally lit on what she was looking for.

"Yes," she hissed, feeling cool, hard metal. She practically ripped the lunchbox out of the cardboard, stuffed animals flying across the floor.

She stood up, not caring how loud that might've been, feeling victorious, feeling a frenzied, greedy need to get away with her treasure while she still could.

"Is that it?"

"Yes," she said, again, smiling at Emily.

"Good, let's go, I don't like it here," Emily said with a fearful look back at the lot.

As she moved toward the exit, Alison felt her foot crinkle and crush a piece of loose paper. She looked down, assuming it had flown out during her search for her lunchbox, but her eyes landed on the word "Radley." She leaned over to pick it up. It was some sort of payment slip.

 _Radley Sanitarium: October Statement_

 _Invoiced to: Peter Hastings_

 _Total: $1,036_

"What?" she whispered, not really meaning to say it out loud.

Emily looked back towards her. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she said, smashing the paper into her backpack with the lunchbox. "Let's get out of here."

They pulled the door shut and popped the two locks back in place. As they were about to round the corner back into the main lot, Alison saw an oval, white light spark across the concrete. A flashlight. She took in a sharp breath, crashing to a stop, Emily plowing into her back for the second time that night. She turned, panicked, and motioned Emily to go back the other way. They ran wildly, trying not to make noise, and rounded the back end of the row of storage units.

In the dark, Ali didn't see the outline of large, wooden light pole, and slammed directly into it, face first.

"Fuck!" she cursed as quietly as she could, holding her nose. She just barely managed to grab Emily's shoulders before she did the exact same thing, the brunette's face swinging just inches from the pole. Ali could feel something wet on her hand, but she was too scared to stop, wiping her face with her sleeve.

"Ali, are you okay?" Emily asked, worried, but Ali waved her away as they continued back toward the car entry gate. They quickly slipped back through the bars and ran as fast as they could to Emily's parked car.

"Go, go, go," Ali hissed at Emily as she jumped in, though her voice sounded thick and muddled, a metallic taste dripping in her throat.

Emily's Toyota peeled away from the building, speeding down the dark street. Ali looked back, her eyes wide, terrified she'd see a car in hot pursuit. But it didn't look like anyone was following them. Her hands were still shaking, though, and she could hear Emily taking ragged breaths.

After a few minutes of Ali desperately trying to calm her racing heart, she reached up to touch the underside of her nose, it was still throbbing. She pulled her finger back to find it covered in a dark, red liquid. With her stomach still churning from the fear of just barely getting away, her overall general lack of sleep and exhaustion, the sight of her own blood made her feel a little queasy, light headed.

"Ali, oh my god, you're bleeding," Emily said, upset, looking at Ali's hand.

Ali didn't respond, just slumped back in her seat, becoming increasingly concerned that she might faint.

Emily immediately whipped the car onto the side of the road. It was lined with looming, thin birch trees. She could see the faint whiteness of their bark, even in the black night, and Alison had a dim, frantic memory of crossing this road when she'd first escaped from Radley. She remembered thinking they'd looked like tall, telephone poles. As she felt her vision begin to blur, black edges closing in around the image of the shadowed trees, she felt warm hands on her cheeks, delicate fingers digging into the hollow of her jaw. Emily was turning Ali's face away from the window to face her.

"Here," she said, her face inches from Ali's. She pushed a napkin firmly into the base of Ali's nose, just below her nostrils. It stung slightly at first, but then just felt like a dull ache.

As Emily held her there, Ali stared back into Emily's eyes, unable to look anywhere else, really. She followed the round curvature of Emily's lids to her dark full lashes, looking at flecks of gold and light brown around her irises. As the minutes passed, Emily occasionally checking the napkin for dark spots of blood, Alison didn't feel as lightheaded any more, but was experiencing a different kind of feeling entirely. Something heated.

"Did it stop?" Ali practically sighed as Emily cradled her neck more gently, putting the napkin into one of the cup holders.

"Yeah," Emily said, her thumb gingerly moving over Ali's cheek bone.

Ali didn't really know what she was doing when she moved her head harder into Emily's hand, turning slightly to feel the pressure of Emily's thumb glide lightly over her lips. Maybe she was still delirious from the blood. Maybe she was still afraid from their escape. Or maybe it was because no one had really touched her like this before. Even in the bumbling kisses Ali had shared with guys, their hands had been groping and nervous. No one had held her so preciously, so mindfully. No one's hands had been so soft.

Emily's eyes widened as Ali's lips parted at her touch, her eyes immediately flickering to Ali's mouth. Ali inadvertently mirrored the movement as she thought in a strange, out of body sort of way, what it would feel like, kissing Emily. How was she supposed to think about anything else when Emily was this close to her? Emily's lips were big, but not huge. Perfectly sized. Like Ali's would fit seamlessly against them. Two puzzle pieces. She felt herself move forward, like she was being pulled in by some powerful magnetic force. Emily closed her eyes.

Just as she was about to close hers too, the ghost of Emily's mouth already on hers, both of them breathing the same air, she saw the light of an oncoming car's headlights flash over Emily's face.

 _Oh my God, what am I doing?_ she thought suddenly, pulling back.

"Thanks, Em" she managed to reply, looking worriedly at the approaching car. Emily's eyes fluttered open, following the point of Ali's attention, and they both watched the car as it continued past. Ali breathed a sigh of relief.

Emily averted her gaze, looking dazed and even slightly mortified. She leaned back onto her side of the car, pulling her hands stiffly into her lap. Ali's relief was short-lived as she remembered what had just happened, or _almost_ happened. Her thoughts began racing— _what the fuck?! Why did she have to touch me like that? Why did you LEAN in? Were you going to KISS her?! Get your fucking shit together!_ —as they sat there in an awkward kind of silence.

"Before you take me home," Alison started, her voice coming out husky, betraying a bit of the stormy internal struggle she was experiencing. "Could we-could we stop at a convenience store? I want to buy a burner phone."

Emily looked at her like this was about the 19th thing she had said tonight that hadn't made any sense at all.

"My parents have been taking my phone lately and reading all my texts," she tried to explain. "I don't want them to find out about this—to know what I'm looking for," she quickly amended, turning her head away so Emily couldn't see her blush.

"Why wouldn't you ask Caleb? He can do that for you," Emily suggested inquisitively.

"He has… an extra?" Alison hazarded a guess, swallowing, and turning back to look at Emily.

"Yeah, I'm sure," she answered as if this were obvious, like Alison might've lost a bit too much blood during her nose bleed. With what she'd almost done, maybe she had.

Either way, this information was encouraging. This "Caleb" sounded like exactly the character she needed. She covertly glanced at Emily's phone. She would need to memorize his number. And Courtney's.

"Well, I want to be able to call you immediately, so I don't know if it can wait. But I'll talk to him about it."

"Okay," Emily said with a soft smile. "I'll take you to the gas station right up here." She shifted the car back into gear and pulled back out onto the road.

Ali intently watched the side of her face, trying to spot some sort of distinctive feature about Emily that could explain away Ali's bizarre actions. The flirting was different, it was harmless. Just for fun. Ali liked the attention. But kissing Emily? There was no reason _at all_ to do that. But, to her dismay however, she didn't see any special seductive quality, Emily just looked deep in thought, chewing slightly on her bottom lip. Ali glanced at it, feeling a sensation shoot directly to her core.

 _Good God, Ali, get a grip._ She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, quickly pushing Emily out of her mind, forcing herself to focus on her plan. Eye on the prize.

"Can he make a fake ID, too?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"Did you lose yours?" Emily asked, turning into the gas station parking lot.

Ali couldn't help but smile sardonically. Of course Courtney had a fake ID.

"Yeah, my parents took it."

"Yeah, he can make you another one," Emily said as they pulled into a parking spot. Before Ali got out of the car, she turned to Emily with a serious expression.

"Emily," she started. "Please don't talk about the storage unit in front of the others. I'm not ready—I'm not ready to share it with them yet. Only talk about what we're doing to me on this burner phone or at night when we're meeting. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she said, though it was obvious she didn't totally.

"Don't worry, it's just temporary," Ali smiled. "Everything will be over soon."

 **Leave me a review and stay tuned, kissing rock in the next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Some questions answered from the reviews about the books: 1. When Ali was originally taken away/the "switch", this will be explained. 2. Ali was not originally friends with any of the Liars. Courtney befriends them. 3. Their parents wouldn't have believed "Courtney" enough to test fingerprints. When Courtney's taken away originally, part of her psychosis is that she pretends to be Ali. They might've tested then, but no need to do again 3 years later when she's saying the same thing.

 **Addtl Book Notes:** For this chapter, it contains the "flag piece" from the books, which is part of the Time Capsule game the school plays every year. They cut up their school flag and have a scavenger hunt for the pieces. Whoever finds/steal a piece from someone else gets to draw their own inscription, whatever that is, onto the piece. This is supposed to be very prestigious at Rosewood Day, especially for non high schoolers. Ali had a piece, before the switch, but it was never turned in for it to be sewn back together and buried it in the yearly time capsule. She thinks this might help prove she is Alison.

* * *

Emily couldn't stop thinking about that night, about the near kiss with Alison. She'd never thought in a million years she would've dared get that close to Ali's bow shaped lips. Lips she'd dreamt about. It all felt so heightened, and she wasn't sure if it was from the thrill and terror of almost getting caught or from the fear of Ali's nosebleed. Emily felt like she remembered everything about it in crystal clarity, in high definition, playing back over and over in her mind like a television recording.

The worst part of the playback, though, was when Ali had pulled away, both away from kissing Emily in the car and somewhat in person the next day. She said nothing about it as she and Emily walked their usual route to English. In fact, it felt like Alison had barely paid attention to her at all that day, almost like she was keeping her distance from Emily. Maybe she was scared?

Emily was at a total loss. Emily had no idea what this secret was about but it seemed important. What could Ali's parents have taken away from her years ago? Why was she just going back now to get it? Why did she want her rope ladder? It had occurred to Emily later that Ali might've wanted to use it for boys, and it had made her stomach curdle. She should've asked her. Maybe she could next time she called or texted her to meet up.

But Emily waited and waited and there was no call from Alison. Emily thought she might lose her mind from the anxiety and anticipation. What was taking her so long? Ali had taken forever to write her number in her new burner phone after she'd returned to the car, what if she had written it wrong? Or gotten someone else's number on accident? It was driving Emily crazy. She resolved she could only wait until the end of the week before asking Ali about it at school. If she could wait that long, even.

As the days rolled by, it became late Wednesday night, almost midnight. Emily was chewing hard on the tip of her Bic pin, thinking once again about her frustration with the situation even though she was supposed to be finishing her math homework for the night. She felt her phone vibrate. Not wanting to get her hopes up for the 40th time, she was resigned to the fact that it was probably Aria or Hanna.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the unknown number.

 **From UNKNOWN to EMILY:** Hey, I'm outside, come down, xoxo. -A

Emily stared at the x's and o's, shocked, wondering if Ali had perhaps hit the keys on accident, so amazed was she at their existence on her screen. She started to type out her answer, considering for a moment about adding her own x's, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was too embarrassed. She didn't want to ruin this tenuous, terrifying thing she had building with Ali by being weird.

 **From EMILY to UNKNOWN:** I'll be down in a sec. -E

Emily slammed her math book shut and shot off of her bed. She donned another black outfit, not wanting to make the same mistake twice with Ali. She crept past her mom's bedroom again and made it outside.

Ali stood waiting for her, a hard to read expression on her face. She had a backpack on again, the same one from last time, the one she had never seen Ali use at school, and was wearing the same outfit: sneakers, a pair of skinny jeans, and a black hoodie.

"I've seen you three times in that hoodie now. Is that your special crime hoodie?" Emily attempted to tease her, even though it made her nervous. Sometimes Ali didn't have a great sense of humor when it came to her fashion. Especially not from Emily, who she'd always mocked for dressing a little _too_ sporty.

But she didn't have to worry because Ali only smiled widely.

"Yes, it gives me super crime powers," Ali said jokingly back, opening her hands up theatrically. "Like lockpicking, scaling walls and trees, and running for miles on end. And, this," she added, stepping toward a bush and crouching down. "Look, I'm invisible. No one even knows I exist."

"I can see you," Emily said to her sweetly.

"Well," Ali said, standing up, a charming smile dancing on her lips. "I knew there was something special about you."

In the glow of Alison's compliment, Emily felt a familiar heat rise in her cheeks, a feeling that was becoming an all too common occurrence around her friend.

"And if you don't like it," Ali said, taking a step back towards Emily, closing the space between them. She lifted a hand to Emily's face, pushing a black strand of hair back behind Emily's ear. Emily held her breath, the heat intensifying. "You can buy me a different crime hoodie."

Her eyes glittered mischievously as she turned on her heel and walked towards the sidewalk. Emily had to unfreeze herself from that spot, focusing intently on putting one foot in front of the other.

As Emily followed Ali down the sidewalk, she thought about how thrilled she would be if she could buy something just for Ali. Every year, she over analyzed what to get Ali for Christmas and her birthday, sometimes making multiple lists, but she'd always been too afraid to get the blonde anything outside of a non-sanctioned holiday. Emily knew "friends" didn't buy each other spur of the moment gifts, and she didn't want Ali to suspect she had more than friendly feelings for her. But now Ali knew that Emily had those feelings, and she actually asked Emily for something? Emily would be agonizing over what to get for the next several days, maybe weeks.

Ali veered off the street, towards a path through the woods they sometimes used to get to school. Emily hazarded a glance at her, she'd been unusually quiet. Her eyebrows were drawn together, and her jaw looked tight. She seemed deep in thought, but Emily wanted to make conversation with her, make the most of their alone time.

Emily was thinking of what she could say when Ali noticed Emily looking at her. Her consternation seemed to melt away, and she smiled at Emily.

"Remember when those boys attacked us with snowballs when we walked this way freshmen year? We had to hide in the snow banks for 30 minutes."

Her eyebrows quirked together again, but only for a moment.

"Finally, you came along on your way to school and scared them away. You protected us."

"Is that your favorite thing about me, Em? How scary I am?" Ali asked teasingly.

Emily thought carefully.

"I couldn't pick a favorite," she said finally, having had to work herself up to it. She thought Ali would look happy, but she'd only smiled slightly, not at all with her eyes, before turning away, her attention back on the path.

 _Well, that was a bust,_ Emily thought as they fell back into an unusual silence. Emily felt jittery, scared. She wanted things to feel easy and comfortable, like they had felt at the storage unit.

"Are we going to the school?" she asked, attempting once more to make conversation.

Ali only nodded.

"We're not…breaking into it, are we?"

"Not breaking _in_ , per say," Ali said with a smirk and a shake of her dark blonde curls. It was almost spellbinding to Emily, like a hypnotist with a watch.

"That's not very comforting."

Ali shrugged as they approached the school. She circled around the side like a panther hunting its prey. Though, after a few minutes, she looked a little lost. Even a little confused.

"I haven't been here this late at night," she said. "Where's the courtyard?"

"Over here," Emily said, thinking that it was a little weird that she asked. But who knew with the way Ali was acting?

"I can't believe we're graduating from here so soon," Emily started whimsically. "Soon we'll be learning totally different campuses to sneak around at night."

She'd hope Ali would smile at this, but she didn't. Her face remained blank. Instead, she glanced into one of the windows, looking into an empty classroom.

"Can you imagine being a teacher? What a waste of time."

"I thought you wanted to teach, maybe? You like English and French a lot," Emily asked her, surprised.

"What? God no, that's lame," Ali sneered as they approached the courtyard.

Emily simply followed her, confused on how she'd managed to offend her again. Ali _had_ said that, right? Had she remembered it wrong?

Ali passed the lunch tables and stone seats, over to the fence that bordered the outer perimeter. She gazed up at it, thinking hard.

"So, what're we doing here?" Emily asked, still feeling awkward.

"I'm getting my flag piece," she responded absently.

It took Emily a second to figure out what she meant.

"From 8th grade?" she asked questioningly.

"You remember everything, Em. I like it," Ali smiled at her. _Finally_ , Emily thought. A smile.

She knew she remembered _that_ correctly. It had been one of the first times Ali had even looked Emily's way. They weren't friends then, but Ali had been boasting in the courtyard about how she'd had a piece of the time capsule flag. She'd scrutinized the crowd, locking eyes with Emily ever so briefly. Emily had felt that look like a radiant beam of sunlight. How she didn't know, even then, that she had a crush on Alison was beyond her.

But, even further, that piece had also been the reason they had all become friends. Spencer, Hanna, Aria, and Emily had each come independently to Alison's house to steal her flag piece, and Ali had caught them arguing about it in her yard. She casually informed them that it had already been stolen, but asked for each other their names, something she had _never_ done before. They'd all been inseparable ever since.

"Will you give me a boost?" Ali asked, pointing at the fence.

Emily followed her eye line up the tall stone fence.

"You want to get up there?"

"Yeah, we're going onto the roof," she said simply. Like it was no big deal.

"You can't do that," Emily said back.

"I've done it before."

Emily sighed, feeling torn.

"Why do you make me do stuff like this?" she whined. "I don't want to go to jail for the rest of my life."

"Well, you better not get us caught then," Ali warned with a smile. She gestured more severely at the fence again, and Emily, giving in, leaned down to take her foot.

"If not," Ali continued as Emily heaved, launching Ali upward to grip the top of the fence. "You'll need to come up with some solid prison tattoos."

"What tattoo would you get?" Emily asked, watching as Ali pulled herself up to sit, regarding Emily from her high vantage point with an amused expression.

"I'd get a knuckle tatt."

Emily shook her head with a skeptical smile.

"No, you wouldn't."

"Yes, I would."

"No," Emily said again, but Ali just confidently nodded. Emily started to climb the fence. "What would it say then?

"Hm, eight letters," Ali said thinking. "Ball sack."

Emily snorted, pulling herself up to the top with Ali.

"No, you wouldn't!"

Ali started moving sideways, shimmying toward the roof.

"Or maybe, dick slap."

Emily laughed again, following Ali, doing her weird shimmy. She tried not to look down. The fence wasn't that tall, but it was tall enough to break a bone if she fell wrong. Trying to distract herself, she added, "Bear… shit?"

"Bear shit?" Ali laughed at her, hard. "Mine are way better."

"I think you've thought about it before, weirdo."

Ali rolled her eyes before standing on top of the narrow fence.

"Look sharp, killer," she said as she did a small hop over the space between the roof and the fence. She landed gracefully on the other side. Emily's mouth fell open. What if she had fallen?

But Ali held out her hand for Emily to follow. Emily couldn't help but feel delighted, Ali was obviously referencing their night at the storage unit. There had been a part of her that thought Alison might want to pretend like it never happened, so she was relieved. Emily stood slowly, took her hand, and hopped over the space, too. Before she dropped it, though, she turned Ali's hand over in hers.

"You changed your nails?" Emily asked. They were nude with no polish, not the same as they had been earlier in the day. Emily always noticed Ali's nails.

"I was tired of it," she said somewhat tensely.

"I thought you loved yellow?"

Ali suddenly bristled, removing her hand from Emily's. "I hate yellow."

This conflicted with everything she'd ever heard Ali say about her favorite colors. Ali _loved_ yellow. But Emily wasn't totally surprised, Ali had been moody during this entire trek. It wasn't a big deal to Emily, though. If there was anything Emily absolutely knew, it was that loving Alison wasn't always easy. Ali could be sharp. Cruel. Bullying. Controlling. But Emily admired those things about her too. She was fierce and independent in a way Emily secretly wished she could be. But sometimes she wished, too, that Ali would be more vulnerable, let Emily closer. Like she had seemed most of these last few nights. Even if she wasn't acting like it in this _exact_ moment, stalking across the roof like a particularly wet, pissed off cat.

As they passed AC units and vents and metal railings, Ali motioned to a tall, silver maintenance ladder.

"Stay down there and keep a look out," she said.

Emily didn't keep a look out at all though. She watched Ali nervously as she started up the ladder, stopped half way, and crawled her fingers out over several dull, crimson bricks. Emily tried to position herself in a way that she could catch or break Ali's fall if she fell, she didn't like how she was hanging out in the air like that. But she watched curiously as Ali slowly inched one brick free, plucking it out like a giant Jenga piece, and set it on a ladder rung. Ali then reached in, pulling out a strand of dark blue cloth. Emily was stunned.

Alison returned the brick and moved back towards the ground. She then stood in front of Emily, holding the time capsule piece high over her head victoriously.

"That's it?"

"Yes!" Ali said with a dazzling white smile.

"Oh my God," Emily started. "It's been years. I can't believe no one ever found that."

"When I hide something, it stays hidden," Ali said, running her fingers over the cloth. Emily lightly touched it, too.

"I thought you you said someone stole it? That you didn't know where it was?"

Ali's eyes flashed at Emily. "I lied," she said, suddenly pulling away, shoving the piece in her backpack.

"Are you going to put it in your scrap book?"

"Should I?" Ali asked in a higher pitched tone.

"For sure. I can see it right next to your field hockey newspaper clippings, your writing awards, recommendations, all your transcripts. I think it'd make a perfect addition," Emily gushed excitedly.

"I guess," Ali said glancing up at Emily, still looking peeved. Emily's smile faltered, she just couldn't seem to find the words to say to Ali tonight.

Ali didn't say anything else as the two followed their same route back. Emily was careful to balance steadily onto the fence before climbing back down it. They passed back through the courtyard, but Emily sensed that Ali had stopped following her. She turned and spied Ali looking at an old poster hanging on one of the double doors to the cafeteria. Emily backtracked to the spot, trying to glean what had caught her attention.

It was a poster of Alison, herself, smiling huge, the lead in a play they'd done two years ago. Ali was staring at it with a mix of emotions Emily could not possibly begin to decipher. All she knew was it looked like the glee she'd experienced at capturing her flag piece had extinguished, her mood roller coaster had plunged downward. Emily wasn't sure why, looking at the poster. Ali looked beautiful, her cheeks red, her lipstick bright, her hair exquisite.

"That's definitely in the scrap book," Emily said, proud of her talented best friend.

Ali glanced at Emily, made a face Emily couldn't quite catch, and, without warning, ripped the poster off the door. She let it drift to the ground as she turned to Emily with a light in her eyes, like they were two bright blue smoldering coals.

"I want to show you something."

* * *

Alison had been in a real _mood_ the last few days. There were three reasons. Number one: she hadn't been able to leave Radley, which had put a serious damper on her high. A cleanup crew had come to remove her savior branch, and she didn't want to take any risks until they were gone. Number two: she'd been completely torn on whether to contact Emily again, swinging from yes to no so frequently and so violently, it was giving her brain whiplash.

Her struggle was this: on the one hand, the more Ali saw Emily, the more likely Ali was to get found out. Emily might've been head over heels in love with "Alison", but even she would figure out Ali wasn't Courtney eventually. There were so many loose variables. What if she said something to Courtney at school? What if Courtney got a hair cut? What if Courtney texted when they were together? And then, if Emily _did_ find out, she would never forgive Alison. She'd never keep her secret. She sensed Emily could barely keep it now. Alison had been so stupid to enlist _anyone_ ' _s_ help. She should cut ties with Emily while she still could.

But should she? Because on the other hand, Emily's knowledge of Rosewood, access to a car, and generally trusting, helpful disposition were critical to Alison. If she hadn't asked for Emily's help, she wouldn't have her lunchbox or her rope ladder, her essential tools for freedom. And there were passive benefits, as well. Emily could legitimize Ali if she was ever caught doing something suspicious. "Of course that's Alison," she'd say, and Ali would be off, scot-free. Why would she do anything _without_ her?

And round and round the mental argument went. It was infuriating. Emily was somehow her biggest weakness and her biggest advantage. Her liability and her lifeline.

But not just any lifeline, a lifeline she'd almost made out with.

 _Ugh_. Number three: she'd been _really_ confused after their last encounter. It wasn't like Alison just wondered around, almost kissing other girls. If Ali was anything, she was coldly calculated. She barely took one unplanned step, much less two full lips trying to land on someone else's. And Emily's lips? Not part of her plan. So, why did she almost do it? She didn't, couldn't _like_ her. That possibility was mind boggling. It made Ali feel chaotic and wild. And she hated it.

So, she'd decided, no, she wouldn't contact Emily tonight. She would continue everything on her own. She had her lunchbox, which had the cash, her key, and her valuables. She had her burner phone. She'd gotten Courtney and Caleb's phone numbers out of Emily's contacts. She had the rope ladder. What else did she need from Emily? Nothing. Then why did she need to see her again? She didn't.

But she wanted to. _Ugh, shut up_.

So, that's how her night had started. She'd been on her way to the school, tromping through the forest like Godzilla, raging at herself, Emily, Courtney, her parents, Radley, the world, and instead found herself walking to Emily's house. She found herself texting her. She found herself generally acting in exactly the _opposite_ way than she'd planned. And then, like a magical wish genie, Emily was there by her side.

She told herself, _it's for the best_. _You need her. She knows the school. But don't talk, don't flirt. Don't fucking kiss her._

But Ali wanted to talk to Emily. She wanted someone to know her. Not even just know that she was the _real_ Alison DiLaurentis, but know all the tiny, intangible things that made her _her_. It had been so long since she'd had a friend. Four years had felt like four hundred years. And even her friends at Radley, it wasn't the same. They were friendships that were forced into existence by horrible circumstances. Like plants that learned to flourish together in some desolate Siberian landscape. And with them, she was always Crazy Courtney. As Alison, she and Emily could dress up in each other's rooms, paint each other's nails, and share gossip. She wanted to be normal. She wanted just one person in this world not to think she was manipulating them or lying or psycho. Even if, in this case, she was two out of three of those things, she wanted someone to know that she could be so much more. And why couldn't that someone be Emily?

So, she had talked with her, a little at least. She had joked. And it felt good. But she'd also shot her glowering looks, ignored her cute asides. By the time they'd retrieved her flag piece, Emily seemed thoroughly bewildered by Alison, by how hot and cold was. But she couldn't help it. Even in that shining, glorious moment of victory, her flag piece in her hand, Emily brought up Courtney. Emily just couldn't shut up about her tonight. How _amazing_ Courtney was, how much fun they had. Her god damn scrap book. So, Ali snapped when she saw that poster. She ripped it off the wall like she wished she could rip off Courtney's face and told Emily she had something to "show" her.

She knew where she was taking Emily. She knew it was probably _weird_ , probably unhinged, probably extremely manipulative. But she'd just had an in depth tour of the life Courtney had stolen from her, all the while Emily looking at Ali with _that_ _look_ she always had. Like Emily was trying to beam pure and brilliant love at Alison. And when she saw Emily give the poster, Courtney, _that_ look, Alison lost it. A thought that had been trying to form in her mind ever since Emily had gently taken Ali's face in her hands, had finally coalesced, coming sharply into focus. She _wanted_ Emily. She wanted Emily's looks, not Courtney. And she wasn't going to share. Courtney had shared Alison's life and Alison's name, but she wouldn't share Emily's love, too. _Emily's mine._

She shot out of the courtyard, away from the school, walking so fast she was almost running, but Emily kept up with her. As they neared the route through the woods and started down it, Alison veered sharply, down a less beaten path.

"Where are we going?" Emily asked, perplexed.

"It's a short cut," Ali responded curtly.

"Through the woods?"

"Back alleys and back yards have always been the best way to my house," Ali said back with a smirk. "And, in this case, back woods."

Emily followed her without further protest, for which Alison was glad. It was actually a beautiful night. Ali had been too involved in trying to control herself to notice earlier. The moon wasn't totally full, but it hung brightly in the sky. And she was happy for it, otherwise this impulse hike out into the forest might've been a little creepy. She could occasionally hear the forlorn hoot of an owl or an odd rustling of leaves, and it made her heart beat a little faster. But Ali tried to focus on Emily's soft footfalls behind her, and it comforted her.

"Are you taking me out here to kill me, Ali?" Emily asked playfully, but with a slight trace of unease. Perhaps, like Ali, she was afraid of the forest too.

Ali smiled wickedly back at Emily, her loose golden blonde curls flowing across her shoulders.

"I would never kill my favorite," Ali said.

Emily looked so pleased, so special. _You are_ , she thought. She hadn't been lying earlier.

After a few more minutes of trying to avoid particularly sharp looking rocks and fallen branches, Ali stopped. Emily regarded her curiously.

"Come here," she said, beckoning Emily over. "It's a surprise."

This was not Alison's first rodeo. Ali had brought plenty of boys out here in middle school, subtly guiding them with, "Oh, what's that over there!" or "Let's take a shortcut". But this was different. Not only had she never brought a _girl_ here (her cheeks reddened at the thought of it), she'd never really been able to play the role she'd wanted. Ali had always had to act slightly submissive before, slightly air headed. Her mom had told her not to be "threatening." Boys didn't like it if you were smarter or more dominant than they were. This had always irritated Alison. What was so threatening about knowing what you wanted? She'd _always_ thought she'd be so much better at taking someone out on a date than guys _ever_ were at taking her out. She'd wanted to be in control.

And, with Emily, she had that control. She could shamelessly lead and Emily would follow, like a beautifully composed dance. She circled around to her back, slid her hands over her eyes, and whispered flirtatiously, "Are you excited?"

"Yes," Emily answered. Ali could feel Emily's eyelashes tickling her palms.

Ali moved to whisper to her, making sure her lips ever so lightly touched the shell of Emily's ear, teasing but not quite making contact. She could feel Emily shudder slightly.

"Move ten steps forward and turn right."

Emily followed her instruction faithfully, and Ali couldn't help but giggle as Emily took very unsure and careful steps. Ali walked closely behind her, hands still in place over Emily's eyes, feeling the heat of the brunette against her chest. When they were in full, centered view of their destination, Ali removed her hands, pushing her chin onto Emily's shoulder.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" Emily said, sounding somewhat nonplussed, but still a small smile on her face.

Ali came around from behind her and motioned to a large, flat rock in the middle of a small clearing. "The kissing rock, of course."

Emily looked at her like she was a lunatic, but a lunatic she loved. "What?"

"People have been sneaking off to the kissing rock for hundreds of years," Ali continued emphatically, walking over to the rock and planting one of her feet on top of it, like she was claiming it.

"You're making that up."

"Just because I make it up," Ali said with a tilt of her head, "doesn't mean it's not true."

She was totally making it up. Her story about this dumb rock had varied with each person she'd brought, but tonight she felt like something eerie. Inspired perhaps by the dark night and rustling trees that had frightened her earlier. Like anyone could be hiding in them and watching.

She lifted her index finger, gesturing for Emily to come over to her. _Here, kitty, kitty._ After some initial hesitation, Ali could see like a big, bright _E_ again, how nervous Emily had become. She took Emily's hand, intertwining their fingers, pulling Emily one step closer to her.

"You come here with somebody, and you can feel the ghosts of the other lover's spying on you," Ali said quietly with a lift of her eyebrows, her trademark smirk. "Pushing you to do it. You know, you should never disappoint a ghost."

Emily was smiling slightly, too, but her eyes were locked on Ali. Ali felt like she was pinning her to the spot with them. Then, Emily glanced uncertainly down at the rock, Ali could feel her fingers grip her hand slightly harder.

"It's just a dusty old rock."

Ali shrugged, pulling her hand from Emily's, she swore Emily frowned slightly. But she just smiled at her and opened her backpack.

"Well, now it's going to be a dusty old rock with art on it."

She pulled out a bright, red can of spray paint. "Cherry red" to be exact. She'd stolen it from the Hastings garage. She figured if Mr. Hastings could afford a thousand dollars of "Courtney's" medical bills, he could afford the loss of this spray paint. And several other things she planned to steal later.

She leaned over and pressed down on the release nozzle, it took her a second to get the hang of it. She quickly spray painted,

A.D. + E.F.

She finished her masterpiece with a heart around it. This might not have been the first time she'd taken someone here, but it was definitely the first time she'd tagged this old ass rock.

"It's no Picasso," she said chirpily, standing and popping the lid back onto the can.

"It's perfect," Emily breathed, gazing down at the mark.

Ali glanced at her, Emily looked absolutely amazed, like she'd won the lottery. Alison worried she might pass into some sort of catatonic state, so she sat down on the rock, patting the cool surface next to her, indicating Emily needed to sit down, too. Emily did so in a dazed sort of manner.

There was a brief interlude of silence, Emily pulling at her fingers slightly, not looking at Alison. Alison looked fixedly at the side of her face, appreciating her regal bone structure, how there was that tiny dip in her cheek.

"Have you ever-" Ali started to ask, her eyes falling down to Emily's lips, but she stopped herself. Taking a breath, she forced herself to continue. "Have you ever liked any other girls?"

"No," Emily said shyly after a moment, still not looking at Ali, picking invisible lint off of her jeans. "But I've—I haven't ever told anyone this—I've wondered sometimes if there was something wrong with me and guys."

When she didn't continue, Ali shifted slightly, her knee faintly brushing Emily's. "What?"

"I just never-I just never—" she stammered, having glanced at their legs touching, "—enjoyed it. I didn't feel all the things people talked about. Maybe there's something wrong with me."

"There is _nothing_ wrong with you," Ali laughed lightly. Didn't this girl have a mirror? If she'd lived a thousand years earlier, townspeople would've traveled to witness her famed beauty first hand.

"Then maybe I'm not doing it right," she replied glumly.

"You're doing it right," Ali said, imagining Emily doing it oh _so_ right.

"Then why don't I feel it?"

Ali opened her mouth to respond, but then closed it. Wasn't it obvious? How could Emily _not_ know? It didn't feel _right_ because those boys _weren't_ girls.

 _I'll show her,_ Alison thought. _Just a little._ _Just a taste._

"Here," she said. Ali lifted her hand to Emily's cheek and slid it slowly down to the back of her neck. She pressed forward, moving Emily's forehead to rest against her own. Ali could feel the beat of Emily's eyelashes, like butterfly wings, as she blinked quickly several times.

Ali had planned to say something else, something less lame than just "here", but Emily moved her face a fraction, causing their noses to nuzzle together. It made Alison take a breath, her mouth parting. Their lips came into the briefest, feathery contact at the movement, the slightest brush of skin against skin. It was tantalizing, unbearably teasing. The part of Ali's brain that could form words stopped.

Emily's eyes closed and, for some reason, Ali felt suddenly nervous. The air seemed very hot, the owls very loud, the moon very bright. Was kissing a girl the same as a guy? What if she did it wrong? What if she'd forgotten how to kiss? Maybe it wouldn't matter. She knew Emily liked her, that Emily wanted this. Emily had told Ali she loved her, for Christ's sake. _No, she loved Courtney. Always Courtney._

It was that thought that spurred Alison to close those last few centimeters. It was the part of her that wanted to compete with Courtney, wanted to win, to own Emily's first kiss with a girl, with "Alison." Something Courtney could never take away.

That was the part that had initiated the kiss at least, the first long, lingering touch of lips. Emily's lips were soft but firm, just like Alison had imagined. She tasted slightly of mint. And she wanted to taste more. But Ali pulled away, it felt like a tear, and Emily opened her chestnut brown eyes to look into Alison's crystalline blue ones. Emily's eyes flickered from Ali's mouth to her eyes, a few times in quick succession. Then, something else entirely in Alison took over. Something woke up.

She moved the hand at the nape of Emily's neck up into her thick, black hair, entangling her fingers, pressing Emily hard back against her mouth, kissing her deeper. Emily quickly reciprocated, moving one hand to grip Ali's knee, the other to her waist. Emily opened her mouth slightly, allowing Alison to sweep in and massage the brunette's tongue with hers. This was the part of Alison that was lonely, the part that liked Emily, the part that had seen Emily bend over in front of her closet, had pressed her palm against her long fingers. This part was some sort of animal inside her, a lion, coming out to roar.

And as they kissed deeper and harder, Ali realized this was just _not just_ a taste, _not_ _just_ a little. This was a lot. Alison felt like she could feel every repressed desire, every hopeful dream Emily had ever had about Ali as their kiss pitched in hunger, in need. She felt like she could feel her love, as real the rock beneath them. And Alison wanted to drown in that love. It felt good, warm, sweet, like the smell of baking bread. Like cinnamon rolls in the oven. She never wanted to stop. She wanted Emily's love, Emily's kiss, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Ali wrapped both arms around Emily's neck, still exploring Emily's mouth thirstily, her hands still in her hair, scratching maybe not so lightly against her scalp. Then, she heard Emily make a sound. A sexy sound. A sinful sound.

She pulled back slightly to look at Emily, breathing hard, her lips feeling dry, chapped. Emily's hand had inched higher above her knee and now gripped her thigh tightly. Alison felt it there like a white hot poker, Emily's thumb pressing into the skin of her inner thigh, teasing her with some lascivious want Ali couldn't even begin to name.

Looking down, the tip of their noses pressed together, she removed one of her hands from Emily's head and started to trace a zigzag with her nail on Emily's arm. She could see goosebumps rise on Emily's skin as she did it, Emily's eyes closing again.

Ali kissed her again, this time more slowly, more deliberately. Her awareness started to come back to her. She could hear thoughts begin to form in her mind, thoughts of victory, thoughts of excitement that Emily was just as into it.

 _You're excited that a girl likes kissing you, Ali. Jesus._

But who cared? She was already "crazy." Why not be gay, too? Gay camp was probably better than Radley.

Ali tore away, nuzzling their noses again, pressing her cheek against Emily's as she slid her lips over her jaw, towards her ear.

"Do you feel it?" Ali husked.

Emily's eyes remained closed as she whispered back, alluringly sexy to Alison, "Yes, Ali."

 **Let me know what you think! Steamy car stake-outs to come.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews and to those of you that gave a twin fic a chance! I promise, it'll be the best you've read :)

* * *

Emily couldn't believe her unbelievable luck. All the other seniors at Rosewood Day were bummed that they still had to go to classes, staring glassy-eyed out the windows at the bright, beautiful spring days, willing summer to come sooner. But not Emily. She was on cloud nine. She'd never even really known what that meant, but she knew she was on it.

And why? Because she had kissed Alison DiLaurentis and Alison DiLaurentis had kissed her back. And not some sort of childish, puritan kiss. A full blown make out. Emily could still feel Ali's hands around her neck, pressing her close. She could still smell Ali's vanilla scent. She could still feel Alison's tongue in her mouth, possessive and dominating. She couldn't stop thinking about it.

It made Emily feel delirious, euphoric. She was convinced people could see it on her, could read her thoughts. But the girls thought that Emily was just happy school was ending, and Alison didn't reference anything unusual at school, just sending her normal texts from her cell, never eluding to their secret.

After they'd left the kissing rock (Emily still didn't believe it was an actual thing, just some elaborate ruse of Ali's), Ali had walked Emily home. "Good night, Em" she'd said, and Emily had worked up the courage to kiss her again goodbye. Ali had smiled sweetly and then drew her hoodie up and disappeared into the night. So two kisses with Alison DiLaurentis. On the same night! Emily wanted to return back to that rock, saw out the piece that Ali had painted their initials on, and keep it forever.

Emily hadn't even noticed the couple of days that passed before she got another text from Ali, so high was she on her happiness.

 **UNKNOWN to Emily:** Pick me up midnight. Bring binoculars, xx -A

 **Emily to UNKNOWN:** Who are we spying on tonight, "A"?

 **UNKNOWN to Emily:** Bird watching, :)

She could only smile at it. Because she was smiling at everything. Children, adults, old people, cats, dogs, everyone.

But when midnight rolled around again, and Emily drove to the DiLaurentis house, she was still nervous, maybe even more so than she had ever been. She was worried that she'd wake up from this dream at any moment, crushed that none of it had been real. But Ali looked real enough as she waited on the sidewalk, spotting Emily's car. She approached the passenger's side as Emily pulled up, throwing open the door and hopping in. Emily didn't really know how to greet her, with a hug or a kiss? Or nothing?

"Where to, A?" she finally settled on with a timid smile.

"The church, please," Ali replied, her smile burning brightly.

Emily lifted her eyebrows but had come to learn not to ask Ali too many serious questions about these little expeditions.

"Are we stealing bibles today?"

"No," Ali answered. She seemed in a much better mood tonight. "We're meeting Caleb for that ID."

"Oh," Emily said, feeling like her response was lame after the fact. She didn't want anything to be awkward, so she struggled to think of something else to say.

"I have an idea," Emily blurted out. "Do you want to get coffee before we meet Caleb?"

"Coffee?" Ali said, smiling.

"Yeah."

"Like a date?" she teased.

"If you want it to be," Emily said with a cautious smile.

"I would _love_ for it to be," she said, emphasizing the word love, watching Emily with those stark blue eyes in that way that made her heart squirm. "But I don't want to be late to meet Caleb. Will you grab it while I talk to him?"

"Sure," Emily agreed excitedly. "What do you want?"

"Surprise me," she said, dipping her head slightly so that Emily couldn't stop from glancing down at her rosy lips.

"What are you going to get?" she asked, her voice lower. Emily felt like Ali was asking what her favorite sex position was, not her preferred coffee drink.

"An Americano," Emily replied, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Do you always get that?" she asked with a small smirk. Emily thought she would have for sure noticed this. They'd been to The Brew together about five hundred times, and Emily had been ordering the same thing since 10th grade.

"Yeah, always," Emily replied.

"You need to let loose, Emily Fields," Ali said with an eyebrow raise. "And I want to be there when you do."

Emily couldn't help but hear the hint of innuendo in her voice as they pulled into the main Rosewood town square. It was deserted of pedestrians, only a few cars driving by, so it was easy for Emily to get a spot right in front of The Brew.

"I love this part of town," Ali said more wistfully, staring out the window.

"You do?" Emily asked, somewhat surprised.

"Yeah, it's so quaint. Kind of like a story book. With this church and everything. I just imagine people growing up their whole lives here together, getting married there, and dying there."

"Kind of morbid, Ali," Emily said with a snort.

"Maybe," she said, turning to look at Emily, levelling her with that alluring gaze. "But some day you'll be halfway across the country, and you'll miss that church and be sad you can't just go have a coffee in front of it."

Emily smiled back at this, though she was slightly confused. It sounded like something that would happen to Emily, the more sentimental one, and definitely _not_ to Ali. Ali seemed to hate Rosewood most days, always talking about where she would run away to next, saying she couldn't wait to leave and go to college. Emily was also ready for a new experience, but she was scared to leave her home. Maybe Ali was starting to feel that way, too.

"Maybe you're right," Emily conceded.

"Do you see Caleb?" Ali asked, turning her head to sweep over the church area.

Emily spotted him sitting under one of the trees near the side of the church, pointing him out to Ali.

"He's over there. I'll be back with our coffees."

* * *

Ali watched Emily withdraw into the coffee shop. Her black hair was straight and middle parted tonight, so it bounced mesmerizingly as she walked. She was dressed in an oversized military jacket, like some sort of inconspicuous model who was trying to hide how hot she was. In a way, Ali was happy, she didn't want anyone else to notice, but also, why did Emily dress like that? It was like she was a beautiful face floating in a bag of clothes. Maybe some day she could give her some pointers.

Either way, Ali was happy she'd asked Emily to join her, she was nervous going somewhere as public as the Rosewood town square. What if someone saw her? Made reference to something she didn't understand? She felt safer with Emily. Protected. Emily & Ali, the dynamic duo. Emily & Ali, buddy cops. She liked the sound of it.

Ali drew her hoodie up as she crossed the street to the church. She hadn't wanted to meet here, in the middle of Rosewood where anyone could see her, but Caleb hadn't budged. He'd wanted to meet at school, and she'd had to insist that they meet somewhere else. He'd been highly resistant. She'd gotten a sense of him through text, and she wasn't sure she liked what she'd seen so far. He was certainly neither as accommodating or as trusting as Emily.

"Hey," she said, approaching "Caleb."

He stood from under the tree and jerked his head in a somewhat unfriendly fashion. Ali scrutinized him and wasn't too impressed by his looks. He didn't seem like someone who had extra burner phones and made fake ID's. He looked more like some sort of homeless skater or grunge guitarist.

"So, you need a new ID? What happened to the old one?" he asked, his tone already abrasively accusatory. Ali wasn't a fan of it.

"My parents took it."

"And they didn't ask where you got it?"

Ali's anger prickled. Did all Courtney's friends love to play 20 questions?

"I told them I made it."

"And they believed you?" he sighed, rolling his eyes.

She shrugged. Ali's affinity for this kid was quickly deteriorating.

"Well, it's not going to be free this time, Ali."

"Really?" she said, crossing her arms. "Well, I'm short on cash, so what do you want?"

He glared back at her, and she was worried for a moment that he wasn't going to help her at all. Courtney really knew how to win friends and influence people.

"You know what I really want? For you to stop giving Hanna such a hard time," he spat suddenly.

Alison had no idea what he was talking about, so she went with her usual tactic: say nothing.

"I've never liked her being friends with you," he continued hotly. "You're a bully, and you treat your friends like you're some kind of general. But you're not. And she's a good person, and she'd follow you to the end of the earth, so lighten up, will you?"

"Okay," Ali said after a beat, carefully masking her face of any reaction.

"No more fat jokes. No more sly references about her binging. It's serious. _I'm_ serious."

"I see that," she said sharply, holding her hand up to stop him from carrying on. "I'll stop."

She knew this would be an empty promise unless she could alert Courtney to stop being such a bitch somehow. But, either way, Ali didn't care. Hopefully, she'd be gone before Courtney said something to "Hanna" again.

"Deal?" she asked holding out her hand.

"Deal," he said taking it, his jaw still clenched, looking like he couldn't stand the idea of touching Ali.

"So, what name do you want on it?" he asked with a more resigned tone.

Alison had been thinking hard on this. She'd settled on a character from a book she'd been reading lately, Lolita. She'd thought about Emily.

"Vivian Darkbloom."

He lifted his eyebrows in mocking. "Whatever floats your boat, Alison."

"Give me black hair, too," she added.

"Black hair? That's going to make this hard to use at bars."

"Maybe it's not for bars," she suggested, moving her arms from being crossed to on her hips.

Caleb glanced at the movement, regarding her like she was a particularly vicious breed of snake that might strike at any moment. Ali looked hard back at him, not doing much to dissuade him of the idea.

"What else can you do?" she asked.

"What do you need?" he countered her skeptically, pulling out his phone and looking down at the screen.

"Can you hack a building?"

Ali watched his eyebrows raise. "Depends, which one?"

"A hospital?"

He considered her strangely for a moment. "I can hack anything."

"And what'll that cost me?" she asked bitingly.

"Let me think about it," he said back slowly. "But I'll have the ID back in a week."

"Text me on this phone, don't talk to me about it at school."

"Whatever," he said, walking off.

"I mean it!" she yelled after him, but he just raised his hand.

* * *

Emily crossed the street, just as Caleb began walking away. She'd been watching them talk the last few seconds, Ali looking threatened and combative. Caleb had never been particularly warm to Alison, who had bullied Hanna about her weight a few too many times. Even though Hanna looked fantastic now, Ali still occasionally threw sharp barbs at her about it, which no one enjoyed. It was like Alison felt the need to keep Hanna in her place. Emily wasn't sure why Alison acted like that, but she sometimes thought that the similarities between them had been a little too close for Ali's comfort.

Caleb gave a lingering look in Emily's direction. She did a small wave at him. He waved weakly back as Alison turned away from him, towards Emily. He glanced back at the blonde, an oddly suspicious expression on his face. Emily's gaze flickered to Ali, she looked nervous, her cheeks slightly red. Emily wondered if everything had gone okay.

"What did he say?" she asked as Alison moved towards her.

"He's going to do it," she said, with a tight-lipped expression. Apparently that was all Ali felt the need to share on the subject.

Emily handed Ali her coffee, and her face brightened instantly. "Oh, I haven't had this in forever—" she started, but stopped suddenly, checking Emily's expression.

"What?" Emily asked. "A white mocha?"

"Yeah," she said, linking her arm in Emily's, staring at her like Emily had just bought her a Shetland pony. "Thank you, Em."

Emily couldn't help but smile modestly. It was moments like these that made her really love Alison, when she was in the warm glow of her affection.

"Now for the fun part," Ali said, pulling her arm out of Emily's and getting back into Emily's car. "Did you bring the binoculars?"

Emily nodded, opening the glove compartment. The binoculars were sitting on the top of the driver's manual, Ali grabbed them, looking them over.

As they began making the block of the town square, Ali's eyes flickered up. She saw a man walking down the other side of the street, a man with thick black hair, a chiseled jaw. Ali couldn't place him immediately, but she _knew_ him.

"Why is Mr. Hastings out so late?" Emily asked quietly.

And that's who it was. Ali suddenly remembered him from middle school, his head popping into her yard as she sun bathed, asking if Ali needed anything. The dozens of conversations they'd had years ago. Her neighbor.

"Let's follow him," Ali said. "But keep your distance."

Emily pulled the car to the corner of the next block he'd been walking down, and they watched him head up to the door of one of the kitchsy apartments on the street. He used a code and entered.

"Pull over, and turn the car off," Ali told Emily.

"Why?"

"I want to wait and see what he's doing."

"You're so nosy, Alison," Emily accused playfully.

"No, Emily," she said with a smirk. "He was who I wanted to watch tonight with these." She lifted the binoculars up.

"Mr. Hastings?"

"Something's just shady about him. Why is he out so late?" Ali replied, an unfamiliar edge in her voice. "And that's an apartment. I want to see who he's visiting."

"You think he's having an affair?"

Ali smiled seductively, raising both eye brows. "Sexy," she said.

"With who?" Emily asked, feeling a slight blush again.

"I have no idea," Ali answered, lifting the binoculars up.

"Why do you want to know who he's having an affair with?"

Ali didn't say anything, a small smirk at her mouth just below the binoculars.

"What, are you going to blackmail him?" Emily asked jokingly.

"Ten points to Gryffindor," Ali responded.

"You are not," Emily laughed. "And you've read Harry Potter?"

She pulled the binoculars down, looking uncomfortable for a moment. "Yeah, of course, hasn't everyone?"

"You've just never mentioned it before."

"Well, obviously, I don't want people to know what a nerd I am," Ali said poking Emily in the thigh. She lifted the binoculars back up to her face. "I can't see into these damn windows."

But Emily was surprised, surprised that there were still so many things that she didn't know about Ali, that she kept hidden from everyone. Reading seven books would've taken awhile, and Emily was sure she'd never even seen them in her room. But she felt special nonetheless that Ali had let her in on this, albeit small, secret about herself.

"What would your Patronus be?" Emily asked curiously.

"Hm," Ali mused, pulling the binoculars back away from her face again. "Probably a wolf."

"Why a wolf?"

"I don't know. I definitely want to be something with sharp fangs," she said, lifting her hands to her mouth to imitate sharp teeth and coming in like she might bite Emily, making Emily giggle.

"Wolves are also beautiful, too, like I am," she continued, leaning back into her seat with a bewitching smile.

"You mean terrifying," Emily suggested, grabbing the binoculars out of Ali's hand, her fingers brushing the blonde's, making hers tremble slightly.

"Beautifully terrifying," Ali corrected, still smiling. "Also, they have a pack, which I like. You can be in my pack, Emily," she added, sweetly.

"Thanks, Ali. I've known you for four years," Emily said mock offended. "I should hope I'm in your pack."

Ali looked away for a moment, before asking, "What about you?"

"I don't know," Emily started tentatively, looking through the binoculars, not able to see a thing. She felt cross-eyed, she never knew if she was using these things right. "Probably something that swims."

"Something pretty, too," Ali added, running her finger over the back Emily's hand. "A mermaid."

"That's not an animal," Emily said with an awkward chuckle, her heart rate having jumped at Ali's touch.

"It kind of is," she shrugged thoughtfully. "A _magical_ creature, right?"

"I don't think a mermaid can be a patronus. It's always animals," Emily continued to argue, mainly because she didn't want Ali to stop tracing patterns on her hand and forearm.

"Well, we'll have to ask JK to settle this," she said with a hint of victory in her voice. "Until then, that's your Patronus."

Ali's black hood was pulled back, her beautiful blonde head pressed against the seat cushion, her cerulean eyes looking more royal blue in the darkness of the car. She continued to look at Emily, pressing slightly harder with her nails against Emily's wrist. It made Emily feel warm, like she was an ant under Ali's magnifying glass or a plant under a heat lamp.

"What would your memory be?" Emily asked, though her mouth felt dry. "You know, the happy one to conjure it?"

It was hard to ask Ali questions like this one, serious ones that invited serious answers. But she didn't seem so guarded this time, so ready to shut Emily down. She did, however, look troubled by the question.

"I don't know," she said after a long minute. "I can't remember-" she started but stopped herself.

Emily became concerned that she'd said the wrong thing again, the last thing she'd wanted was to make Ali look as sad as she did now. She thought Ali might not answer, as she'd done so many times when she hadn't liked a question in the past, but her voice broke the silence right as Emily looked away.

"Maybe...Maybe the kissing rock," she said quietly.

Emily smiled at her. "That's mine, too."

Without being able resist any longer, Emily leaned over and kissed Ali lightly. She'd been wanting to do it ever since Ali had hopped into the car. Ali eagerly returned it, as if she'd been feeling the same. As their lips began to move in sync, Emily could feel Alison grasp her hand tightly, moving the other across her collar bone, and up over her shoulder.

Emily still couldn't believe, after all these years, she could finally kiss Alison DiLaurentis whenever she wanted.

* * *

Finally, after what felt like literally forever, Emily kissed Ali.

But Ali's neck was straining as they kissed and kissed, Emily still felt far away as they both leaned over the console, at an awkward angle. Ali knew what would make it easier.

She pushed Emily's shoulders back against her seat. She reached between Emily's legs, Ali's hand brushing the inside of her knee, amused at how wide Emily's eyes went. But she reached lower and pressed up on the metal lever there, and, with that, she pushed Emily's seat all the way back from the steering wheel with a loud clunk.

"What did you think I was doing, Em?" Alison said seductively. She smirked at Emily's embarrassed response.

"I-", but Emily abruptly stopped speaking as Ali moved across the console and into Emily's lap, straddling her.

Ali laced her hands into Emily's hair, she'd been aching to feel them there again, massaging into her scalp, as she kissed her more aggressively. Emily was so easy to kiss, so effortlessly good at it. Every part of her was soft and malleable, like Ali could shape her into exactly what she wanted. And she _wanted_ a lot.

But what exactly? Who knew. She'd moved beyond trying to understand what in the fuck she was doing with Emily. She couldn't stand one more minute of debating with herself on how every extra day she spent with Emily was an extra day she could get caught and lose everything. Since the kissing rock, she'd told herself time and time again that it had to stop. That these feelings had to stop. But they didn't. She'd obviously gotten a taste of something she liked, and all she could think about was when she would see Emily again.

Ali had always been so planning, so premeditated, she wanted for once to ignore all the machinations and just roll with the tide. Why did she need to know what all this meant? Her brain was like a mother nagging at her and, like she did when she was little, Ali simply wanted to ignore the warnings and barrel on with what her heart wanted.

And apparently her heart wanted to lap dance Emily Fields. She knew it was wrong, that she had moved from simply manipulating Emily for material gain into a riskier, dangerous territory. But her heart didn't care, she liked being with Emily. She didn't mean to keep taking things further, but she couldn't help herself. It was thrilling. It felt good to be close to someone, someone that wanted her as bad as Emily did. Someone sweet and innocent and genuine.

As Ali rocked against Emily's lap, she felt Emily grip her hips tightly through her hoodie, her fingers slightly slipping beneath. But Ali felt her quickly retract them, like she was afraid. Was Emily really this shy? Or this scared of Courtney?

"You can touch me," she said pulling back from Emily's mouth with a wry curve on her lips. She leaned forward kissing Emily hard just behind her ear, feeling Emily jerk against it. "I won't bite," she whispered.

Ali continued to work Emily's neck, kissing, nipping, and sucking, as Emily more confidently pressed her hands up under her jacket, under her shirt. As she felt one roam the skin of her back, one slide over her stomach, she had to repress what would have been an embarrassing sound, she wasn't even sure what. All she knew was that Emily's hands on her body was one of the best things she'd ever felt. It made her arch her back, grind down on Emily harder, and pull lightly at her hair.

"Emily," she husked into her ear, feeling her body start to tingle, feeling a wetness start to pool low. She moved back to Emily's mouth, drawing her lip between her teeth, and nipping her lightly. Emily made that sound again, that glorious, delicious sound. A fluttering, strangled, moan. Ali desperately wanted to hear it over and over, louder and unbridled, letting her own hands graze just under Emily's shirt, toying at her stomach, at the waist band of her jeans.

As she thought about unbuttoning them, Ali found herself wondering, not for the first time, if she could really go through with doing more than just making out with Emily. She had a pretty good idea that she would enjoy it, but doing it as the "Alison" Emily thought that she was, that was the painful part. Doing it as a lie. She tried to push that out of her mind, she was done thinking about it, remember? She raked her tongue over Emily's, sliding her hand up instead, under her shirt and over her ribs.

"Oh my God, Ali," Emily breathed, as Ali started kissing Emily's neck again and pressing into her sides with her palm, letting her fingers stop just at the line of her bra.

The brunette definitely had a "spot" behind her ear. Ali considered leaving a mark for everyone to see, but thought better of it. She didn't need a reason for anyone to bring this up to Emily at school. As Ali licked and massaged it, she could feel Emily grip her ass with both hands roughly, the muscles in her thighs tensing, giving Ali a real physical sense of what the nationally ranked swimmer's strength might be like. She would've bet money that Emily could hold her up, just like this, with Ali's legs wrapped around her. _Fuck_. Just thinking about that, Ali was not able to suppress the closed mouth moan this time. She squeezed her eyes shut, mortified, but she only felt Emily's thumbs press down into her skin at the base of her back, push Ali harder into her lap.

After a few more minutes of kissing Emily heatedly, to the point that Ali was starting to seriously consider taking the girl's shirt off, Emily pulled back to look at her, one hand coming up to cup her face. Ali was panting faintly, out of breath.

"Go to prom with me," Emily said, brushing her thumb lightly over Ali's hot, blushing cheek.

Ali's eyes widened. _What?_ That definitely knocked her out of her trance. That was not what she expected Emily to say, and she was at a total loss for words.

"Oh," she said, trying to stall, trying to control her breathing.

She thought furiously. She knew what she wanted to say, but not what she could actually say. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to go to a dance again, wear a beautiful dress, fret over her makeup, ride in a fancy car surrounded by friends. She wanted to get tipsy on champagne, dance until her heart was racing, come back late and laughing. She wanted to go with Emily. And in one delectable second, Ali could see herself doing all those things. Ali could see herself as a normal high school girl.

But she snapped back to reality, hard, like a rubber band against her hand. She couldn't lie to herself, she couldn't do any of that. No dresses, no dances, no dates. Not now, not ever. That life would never be Ali's because it was Courtney's.

She bit her lip, looking away from Emily. She knew suddenly that she'd gone too far, getting into Emily's lap like this. That she was setting Emily up for something seriously painful down the line. That none of this would last. That she should've never kissed her at the kissing rock.

"Ali," Emily said, her voice concerned at the sight of the conflicted look etched all over her face. She made the blonde look at her with the hand at her cheek. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

Ali flinched slightly, becoming concerned that maybe Emily had seen too much, that Ali was showing her too much.

"No, no, you didn't," she said, moving her face out of Emily's gentle touch.

Ali moved off of her lap and back into the passenger seat, not making eye contact. She felt a soul crushing twinge of sadness, which made her angry. She shouldn't feel anything at all. She stared morosely out of the window at the apartment building, knowing Emily was watching her, waiting for some kind of answer or explanation.

 _Well, it's not coming,_ Ali thought angrily. She needed to remember that she was using Emily for her help, and that was it. And, honestly, Alison didn't really need that any more. At all. Maybe she should be listening to her brain after all.

Interrupting a slew of terrible thoughts, Ali saw a flicker of movement by the main entry to the apartment.

"Oh my God," she said. "Look."

Emily followed her gaze. Mr. Hastings stood with a woman just inside the foyer. A woman with pale blonde hair, pulled back in a neat ponytail, looking posh and stylish. It was Mrs. DiLaurentis, Ali's mother.

"What's your mom doing with Spencer's dad? Isn't she supposed to be at a charity event this weekend?" Emily said aghast.

And not a moment after Emily said it, Mr. Hastings leaned in, angling towards Ali's mom. Ali's mouth fell open, her whole body went rigid. He kissed her mother. She heard Emily make a small gasp.

Wow, the punches kept coming tonight. _I guess I'm not the only person kissing people I shouldn't be_ , Ali thought acidly. She had no idea if her mother was supposed to be at a charity ball, but she sure as hell knew she wasn't supposed to be here.

But Emily and Alison both continued to watch, frozen in place, as the kiss lingered. Ali couldn't tear her eyes away. She felt like she was witnessing someone talking in tongues or an alien abduction. Mr. Hastings and her mother finally pulled apart, having some sort of muffled conversation.

Ali felt herself opening the car door before she realized what she was doing.

"Ali!" Emily hissed sharply.

But Ali was out of the car, creeping across the street. She wanted to know what they were saying. She hid behind the edge of the building, straining to hear, but she only caught one line as the door opened.

"—she's your daughter too."

Ali only heard Peter sigh at this.

"I'll see you tomorrow night. I won't be off until late, so it'll be around 10:30 or 11."

She heard the sound of another kiss and she had to suppress the urge to make a gagging sound. She heard one set of footsteps take off down the street, she peeked around the corner to see Peter walking in the opposite direction.

She looked back at Emily in the car, who was ducked down but watching Ali, her eyes practically bugging out of her head. Ali snuck back over to the car and got in.

"Go, Em."

But Emily didn't move, she was just staring back at Ali stunned, looking very much how Alison felt. Alison slapped the top of her leg, making her jump.

"Go, come on! My mom's going to be out of there any minute!"

Finally, Emily's brain shifted into gear, and she turned the ignition. Ali reached over quickly, turning off her headlights before the car rumbled into life. Emily backed out slowly, giving one last look at the building. Emily hit the accelerator, and rounded the corner in the opposite direction Peter had gone.

Ali should've been happy. This was leverage, after all, leverage she could use over her mother to make her release her from god damn Radley. But she wasn't. She was pissed. She fumed as she stared at the passing store fronts, watching street lamps go by. Mr. Hastings. Mr. Fucking Hastings. Did Courtney know? Did Spencer? Did anyone? If Ali knew her mother like she thought she did, no one knew. The bitch.

She could feel Emily sneaking careful glances at her. Of course, she was worried about Ali's reaction. But she did _not_ want to talk about it. There was nothing Ali could say that was safe, that Emily would understand.

"Where do you want to go?" Emily asked carefully.

"Take me home," Ali said, ripping her disposable phone out of her backpack. She texted Courtney.

 **UNKNOWN to Courtney:** Like mommy, like daughter. She's a bigger liar than you are. Think I'm wrong? Go to Main  & Hart tomorrow at 11. Make sure to stay for the show. -A

"Who are you texting?" Emily asked, the worry still clear as day in her voice.

"Caleb," Ali replied shortly, stuffing the phone back into her bag. She still couldn't bring herself to look at Emily.

After a stonily silent drive, they pulled up to Alison's house. Ali clawed her hoodie back up over her head and jumped out without so much as a goodbye. She could feel Emily's eyes on her as she circled around the front of the car. She faltered for a moment, before back tracking to Emily's driver's side. She motioned for her to roll the window down.

"Hey," Ali said popping her head through, her arms resting on the frame of the door.

"Hi," Emily said awkwardly back. Ali sighed and leaned in to kiss her, relishing in the small comfort her warm lips brought.

"I didn't forget what you said," she said, pulling away. "I want to go with you. I do. I want to be with you."

It came out before she could really control it, and she wondered if it was true.

"Soon, okay?" This part, though, she knew wasn't true.

Emily nodded, her face still close to Ali's, Ali could smell her mint breath. Emily's expression was still distressed, though.

"Are you okay, Ali?" she asked.

Something about the way she asked, her tone, made Ali's throat constrict. She could feel her lip quiver strangely, her eyes begin to burn.

"Yeah," she said, pulling back, hiding her face in her sleeve. "I will be. Meet me here tomorrow, I'll text you when to come, but around 11:30. Don't bring your car."

She hurriedly stepped away from the car before Emily could say anything else, and Ali actually cried. Alison DiLaurentis didn't cry. And today wouldn't be the day she started.

She couldn't help but feel deeply embittered as she trudged back through the forest towards Radley. First, she wasn't Alison. And now she wasn't a DiLaurentis. What more cruel jokes would the world throw at her?

 **Thank you for reading! Leave a review and let me know what you think. Next chapter, Ali & Em break into the DiLaurentis house. Will she find her "A" ring? Will they get caught by Courtney?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** If you want to hear the song Ali plays in this chapter on the piano, it's "Back to Black" by Ramin Djawadi. Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think!

* * *

Last night had been a big night for Emily. Not only because it had been an unofficial date with Alison, but also because Ali had straddled her in the car, Emily had asked her to Prom, AND they'd discovered Ali's mom was having an affair with Spencer's dad. Emily's brain hardly knew what to do with one of those things, much less all of them.

The highlight was obviously kissing Ali in her car, though. She couldn't believe how Ali had directly told her to go further. She was sure the words, "you can touch me" were going to play in her head on a loop forever. Along with running her hands along Ali's smooth, silky skin, caressing the dip in her back, the sound Ali had made when Emily had pulled her closer. Emily had only dreamed what all that would be like and now she knew. It was perfect. Of course, until she'd asked about prom.

Emily didn't even know why she'd asked it, it just sort of blurted out. She'd fantasized about it; about renting a limo, about wearing their dresses together, about taking their prom photo. And then Alison was on her lap like that, kissing her, and suddenly it seemed like a good idea to ask. The words were out before she even knew it. And the look on Ali's face. Not exactly ideal. All at once, it made everything in her fantasy seem crazy, unrealistic. They hadn't even told their parents, their friends, why would they go to a dance together? And if they went to prom, that would mean the whole school would know, too. Maybe Ali wasn't ready for that. Ali had always seemed preoccupied with her reputation, overly so Emily often thought. Maybe Ali didn't want "gay" as a line item on her social resume.

But Emily could understand. Emily didn't even know if she even wanted to be out, she only knew that she liked what they were doing, a hundred, maybe even a thousand times more than when she'd done it before. So, it seemed unfair to ask Ali to define it for herself, and so quickly at least. It had been stupid to ask her to Prom, and she wished she hadn't said anything. But what she'd _really_ wished was that Ali had said yes. Or even entertained the idea.

As Emily walked down the hallway that day towards the lunchroom, she saw the object of her infatuation standing just inside the entrance to the school. Something about the way she stood gave Emily pause though, triggered a warning in her mind. She looked catlike, fierce. Her expression was hardened.

Emily watched her have a heated conversation with Caleb, who looked equally as annoyed. Then, she walked away suddenly, while Caleb was still talking to her.

"Alison!" he barked.

But Ali ignored him, rolling her eyes and shaking her blonde head. Caleb looked livid before he stormed off in the opposite direction. Emily waited for her, clutching her books to her chest just a bit tighter.

"What's going on with him?" she asked tentatively.

Alison cast her a look, her brow arched, like "why would I tell you?" It stung Emily. She had just seen Caleb and Ali together, after all, she knew she wanted the ID. Why would Ali not share now? Emily chastised herself. Maybe it was because she addressed their secret activities at school. Either way, Ali just kept walking past her, so Emily followed her nervously.

"Where were you in first period, Ali? I texted you."

"When?" Ali said sharply, her eyes flicking to Emily like a tiger that had suddenly seen prey.

"This-this morning," Emily said.

"Oh," she seemed to relax, "sorry. I was busy."

Emily wanted to ask, too busy to go to school? What else was she doing at 8 AM? But Ali could be intimidating on the best of days, and now didn't seem like a great time to test her. Maybe it had to do with her parents, maybe that's why she was acting so tensely.

As they approached the lunch room double doors, Emily saw a giant prom announcement taped over the windows. _Under the Stars_ , Emily read the theme. She took a furtive glance at Ali, who stared at the poster, too.

"So stupid," she said, her lip curling in a sneer. "I swear to God, if I wasn't getting crowned Prom Queen, I'd skip it."

"Have you thought any more about-about who you're going wi—?" Emily started to ask, but Ali threw open the doors, interrupting her.

"Look, Em, I have bigger problems right now," she said dismissively, entering the lunch room. Emily felt the comment like a slap in the face. _So, it was going to be one of those days._

She followed her numbly, almost bumping into Alison's back as she'd paused for no apparent reason. It seemed like she was staring, no, glaring at Hanna across the lunch room, who was sitting in her spot at their usual table, laughing.

Ali bypassed getting food, heading straight to the table like an arrow let loose. Emily followed her, like a storm chaser, weirdly compelled to watch the devastation Ali was surely about to unleash, hoping to minimize the damage as best she could.

"Hey Ali," Hanna said, seeing her coming. Then her eyes darted to Emily, whose look of deepest discomfort caused Hanna's cheery disposition to waver.

Ali sat down, pulling Aria's tray out from in front of her, picking up her fork. Aria looked stunned, but said nothing. Ali stared at Hanna as she took a bite of Aria's food, like she was imagining systematically tearing the other blonde apart, limb for limb. Hanna stared back, like she'd suddenly been thrown into a pit with a live bear.

"Is there something you don't like about me, Hanna?" Ali said finally, every single word sharp and hard.

Hanna's mouth fell open. "No, Ali, I—"

"Is that why you sic'd your boyfriend on me? Is that why you thought it'd be okay to send me weird, anonymous texts?"

"Ali," Hanna said, looking scandalized. "I'm not sending you any weird texts. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't," Ali spat scathingly.

"I swear," Hanna insisted, a hint of hysteria in her voice, like she might cry.

"Ali," Spencer cut in, warningly.

"Please, Spence. How's Ian doing in the barn?" she said pointedly, her icy blue eyes cutting to Spencer like the sharp edge of a knife.

Spencer looked aghast. "That's what I thought," Ali said dropping Aria's fork with a clatter.

"Honestly, after all the favors I've done for _all_ of you, I can't believe you'd treat me like this," she continued, addressing the entire table.

"Ali," Emily said pleadingly. What was she talking about?

Ali glanced at Emily, who felt like she'd shined a thousand watt spotlight on her. She didn't know where to look, nor did she think she could continue, so she just stared back, confused.

"Look, I have other things to do," she said suddenly, standing up from the table so harshly that it shook all of their trays. "Try not to reach for the cupcakes in the mean time, Han. We do have prom dresses to fit into."

When Ali left the table, it was like the girls had collectively experienced a tornado with no shelter. Emily stayed in her seat, even though she'd never gotten lunch. The other three were all leaned as far back as they could from Alison's chair, like there'd been someone particularly contagious sitting there. It wasn't unusual for Ali to be moody and cutting, but today she'd seemed particularly vicious.

"What is her problem?" Spencer said quietly, seething.

"She ate my food," Aria said sadly, picking up her discarded fork.

Emily tracked Spencer's eye line to Ali who had stopped at the jock table. Emily watched her spark that winning smile, like nothing at all had just happened, while she stared down at a smirking Noel Kahn. Ali's fingers curled casually into a lock of her hair. It was supposed to look unintentional, but Emily had seen that move a hundred times. And seeing it now again, here, for Noel Kahn, made Emily feel a biting anger, deep in her chest. What were she and Noel talking about?

She never got the chance to find out, though, because Emily didn't see Ali again for the rest of the day. She wasn't sure if she skipped class or what. She wasn't sure if their plans were even still on for tonight. All she knew was that her feelings of excitement from earlier had completely 180'd. She'd gone from a beautiful, bright sunny day to a dark, stormy rain cloud.

* * *

If Ali thought she'd wanted to get out of town before, she DEFINITELY wanted to now. She wasn't sure how many more secrets she could unearth and then recover from if she stayed.

Her mom and Mr. Hastings. That had been a _very rude_ surprise. She'd barely been able to sleep last night, trying to go through every scenario, every possible explanation. She didn't want _him_ to be her father. She tried to rationalize it, explain it away, but there was no point. Seeing them together didn't necessarily mean he was her dad, but the receipt of him paying the Radley bill, and what her mom had said, _"she's your daughter too"_ , it seemed pretty god damn likely. And, as if that wasn't enough, that her whole life had been a lie, it meant that she had potential half siblings, too. That ALL her siblings were half, except for _fucking_ Courtney.

Alison had thought about it all night, sleepless, staring at her shitty popcorn ceiling. These new family members. She'd never been friends with her neighbor Spencer, even though they were the same age. Back in 8th grade, she'd been a bit too bookish, rule following, neurotic. The opposite of the type of friends Ali was collecting at the time. Spencer played the college prep game, the game to try to be the best Hastings, of trying to beat Melissa. Insufferable.

But, God, she was related to Melissa, too. The witch. Ali had known her a little better than Spencer, intentionally flirted with her boyfriend Ian in front of her, tried to push her buttons. Ali had been amused that a senior in high school was so threatened by her, it had been a fun diversion to make her squirm. She hoped Courtney inherited that wrath from Melissa. Ugh, Courtney. Her family tree really was _littered_ with bad apples.

The only thing that had consoled her on her walk back to her house from Radley was the _usual_ thing that had consoled her lately. At least Emily was still safe. Unspoiled.

She reached the edge of Spencer's woods and crept carefully towards her own home. She circled around the garage, looking for a way to get up. Standing on a trash bin, she pulled herself up with a sharp breath, and laid flat along the roof, moving herself up to the edge. It was a good enough spot, she could just see the back of her house. She was also blanketed in shadow, no one could see her, even in the unlikely event that they did look up.

Checking her phone, it was 10:30. Her sister should be leaving any minute. For a moment, Ali considered if Courtney would've ignored the message, written it off. That would be a real pain in the ass if she did. But luckily, Ali's fears were placated, the back door swung open, and Courtney tromped down the steps.

She hadn't seen her sister in a long time. Six months? And even then, the visit had been so brief at Radley, that it had felt like she really hadn't seen her at all. Courtney had been on her phone the whole time, had never even looked at Ali. So, Ali hadn't really gotten a good look at her since she'd tricked Ali two years ago. She looked a little different, taller, still slender. Her jaw somehow looked more angular. Ali touched hers wondering if hers did, too. What if it didn't?

Courtney's heels clicked across the pavement as she neared the garage. Her eyebrows were drawn tight, her gaze domineering. It gave Ali a secret thrill that she looked so pissed off. Ali wanted someone to feel like she did, it was just an added bonus that it was her twin. Ali looked up at the sky, closing her eyes, and sent a secret, slightly malicious wish towards the stars that her sister would see what Ali had seen last nigh, that her world would be shaken.

Ali heard the rev of the engine in the garage, and when Courtney backed out, Ali saw her car was indeed a Mercedes just like their parents. Except it was much cooler, a coupe convertible. Baby blue, like their eyes. Ali grumbled internally to herself as she watched Courtney's eerily similar visage, a face Ali saw in every reflection, slowly back away from the house. _Where's my A ring, bitch._

She flipped open her dinosaur phone, messaging Emily.

 **UNKNOWN to Emily:** "Come over, xoxo -A."

She waited for a friendly response from Emily, but there was nothing. She stared at her phone for a few minutes longer until she gave up. She heaved a deep sigh, slipping back towards the garbage can from atop the roof. She could feel her stomach clench uncomfortably. She'd saved her house for last because, to be honest, she was scared to go back inside. She'd wanted Emily to be there. For moral support or whatever. Maybe even to cover for her if someone was home. Her own family members would almost certainly recognize her if they saw her alone. But she had to do it, with or without Emily. She wanted her damn ring. And these seemed like favorable circumstances, no one else looked home. _Well, mom definitely isn'_ t, she thought gritting her teeth.

Despite her impatience, Ali waited a few more minutes for Emily, watching the house intently for any lights, any movement, when she finally heard someone advancing towards her from the drive way. Ali saw the familiar slope of her shoulders, the easy gait. Ali smiled warmly at Emily as she caught her gaze, but Emily didn't return it. As she approached, Emily was looking at Ali like she'd just kicked her puppy, like she was here tonight strictly out of obligation but would've preferred to be literally anywhere else.

Ali didn't like it. It made a streak of fear slice through her, what if she knew? But more than likely, it was probably about the Prom thing. God, how awkward that had been. She thought she'd smoothed it over with her goodbye kiss, but maybe she'd been wrong.

"Hey Emily," Ali hazarded, her voice pitching up at the end, like she'd asked a question.

Emily just jerked her head, standing there in front of Ali, her hands in her jeans, shifting her gaze uncomfortably over the DiLaurentis backyard. Ali took a step forward, pulling one of the brunette's hands out of her pockets, holding it.

"Em, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said quietly, basically a mumble, again not making eye contact. Her hand hung limply in Ali's, as if she were pretending she wasn't connected to it.

"Em," Ali said more insistently. "Please. What's going on?"

Emily blew an irritated side, pulling her hand away, Ali feeling it cruelly slip from hers. "Just... the way you were at school today, Ali."

 _Oh_ , Ali thought. That could mean anything, this was going to be hard terrain for her to navigate. She tried to make her face look inquisitive, so that Emily would continue.

"I mean," Emily started, looking increasingly agitated. "Are you embarrassed about me? Is that why you didn't say yes to Prom? You don't have to lie to me, you know. If you don't want to go, just say so, I know _other_ people want to go with you."

All the words flew out of Emily's mouth at top speed, like flood gates opening for the first time. Ali felt the clear and powerful force of their impact.

"No-no," Ali tried apologize. "I do want to go with you—" but Emily cut her off.

"Like you seemed really upset today, Alison. You could've just talked to me about it, rather than letting everyone get sucked into your warpath."

"I'm sorry," Ali breathed, feeling overwhelmed.

With how worked up she looked, Ali wondered if Emily ever told Courtney how she really felt. If Courtney ever asked. Ali also wondered if her message to Courtney had caused the sudden bristling, aggressive behavior to her friends. Courtney had never responded well to teasing.

"I can be a real bitch, huh?" Ali asked with a sideways smile, trying to assuage the brunette. "Caleb wasn't happy with the way I treat Hanna."

"To be honest, I'm not either," Emily said softly, but Ali could hear the unhappiness in her voice.

Emily looked away. It was one thing for Caleb the hobo to be mad at Courtney, but it was entirely another that she'd made Emily upset. There was something about her sister being mean to Emily that made Ali weirdly furious. Like when she saw one of her teammates get hit in field hockey and how she'd have to absolutely deck out the girl who did it. She had an idea of how she could do that to Courtney tonight. But firsts things first. Cleaning up her stupid messes.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted at school," Ali said, putting her hand back into Emily's. "I really am. I'm sorry we have to keep this, us, a secret. It's so new. And last night, Mr. Hastings… that information has just been really hard to deal with."

"Did you know? Is that why you wanted to follow him?" Emily asked, looking at Ali with worry.

"No. But I… I found something in that storage unit, and I thought maybe…"

"What was it?"

Ali shook her head, not wanting to lie to Emily, but not wanting to tell her the truth. "It doesn't really matter. I know, for sure, now."

Emily shook her head, shifting her jaw.

"I just wish," Emily started after a quiet moment, her eyes glued to their linked hands, "I just wish you could act more at school like you act when we're alone."

"I do too," Ali conceded sadly. God, she did wish that.

"Let's go inside, okay?" she suggested, partly wanting to get out of the yard in case anyone saw them, partly to move on from this painful subject. She didn't want Emily to ask why she couldn't act like she wanted at school.

Emily nodded, and Ali pulled her towards the back door, moving her hand over the knob, meeting no resistance. All that work to get the key to her house, and Courtney had just left it unlocked. She sighed.

They moved into the gloomy darkness of the house and, even though it was difficult to see, Ali could tell almost everything was as she remembered it. Her mother, she was sure, had bought some new artwork in the den. There was a new couch centered in front of the TV. She stared at it, vaguely wondering how many times her sister had Emily over, sitting on that same couch, laughing at stupid TV shows, watching scary movies. Emily pining for Courtney to look at her.

 _Too many_ , she thought, squeezing Emily's hand possessively as she bolted past it. They made their way upstairs; the first place she'd have to check would be her sister's bedroom. She slowly opened the door, letting Emily's hand fall from hers. She gazed over the room, it was like looking at some dark version of what it had been, some alternate reality. All of the decorations just slightly off, just slightly differently than Ali would have done them. Like a poor imitation handbag. But it did smell similar, Ali could almost pick up the vanilla soap she liked using, which was oddly comforting. It made her chest clench tightly, though. This should've been her room.

She moved to the dresser, throwing her sister's things around in each of the drawers, finding nothing interesting. She slammed the drawers shut, and a picture frame on the top flat surface toppled over.

She picked it up, setting it right again. It was a group photo of Courtney and several others. Emily was in it. Emily saw her staring at it and moved closely behind her shoulder, drumming her fingers on the top of the dresser.

"The lake, remember? I can't believe it rained so much later."

"Yeah," Ali said back faintly.

Her eyes were drawn to the other familiar face in the photo. Spencer. Courtney must've been close friends with her. If she stared hard enough, Ali could see the minor resemblances between them. Soon, Courtney would be able to see them, too.

Ali turned, her eyes falling on Courtney's bed. She had a different comforter, different milky white sheets than Ali'd had. Ali wondered if she'd hidden anything in the mattress, how Emily might react to Ali tearing the bed apart right in front of her.

"Are you looking for something?" Emily said, startling Ali slightly.

 _Hm_ , she thought. Maybe Emily could help. "Yes, have you seen my A ring?"

Emily shot her an odd look. "I haven't seen you wear that in a couple of years. Since the-since the," Emily stammered slightly.

"Since what?"

"The Jenna Thing," Emily finished, her gaze averted. "When you gave us all bracelets, you stopped wearing your ring."

"Oh," Ali said, taken off guard. The Jenna Thing? She had to stop herself from clutching her wrist, hiding it protectively. She definitely wasn't wearing a special bracelet of Courtney's. In fact, the only _special_ bracelet she wore, she had to keep hidden in her pocket every time she was out with Emily. It was her hospital identification tag.

"I know," Ali improvised, "But I really want to find it, and I have no idea where I put it."

"Your jewelry box?" Emily suggested, turning towards a side table between two plump, sitting chairs by the window.

 _Duh, Alison._ Ali crossed to the table and picked up the box. It was light pink and handcrafted, a present her Ali's grandmother had gotten her when she was little. It had a ballerina inside that spun, and you could wind it up to play an eerie tune. She was surprised Courtney had kept it, but she'd always felt Courtney _had_ been envious of the jewelry box. She opened it, looking through it, but it was just a random assortment of nick knacks. Ali then moved to the bed, dumping everything out onto the comforter. Emily watched her curiously as she shook the box. There was a heavy, metallic knock against the wood. She opened the box again, peeling back the top felt. She opened a hidden compartment and there, glinting in the darkness, was her A ring.

"You're a genius," she said turning to Emily, pulling her into a tight hug. "I owe you," she whispered in her ear. Emily felt tense at first, then Ali felt her relax into the embrace. Ali breathed her scent in deeply.

When she pulled away, Ali slid the ring into her jean pocket, thought better of it, then put it on. She never wanted to lose it again.

"Hey, meet me downstairs," she said to Emily. "I have to go to the bathroom."

Emily nodded and headed out of the room, Alison following her. She glanced back into the room before closing the door, noticing the mess of jewelry she'd left on the bed. Why not leave it there? Courtney would enjoy the surprise.

Ali moved into the bathroom as Emily went back downstairs. She opened a drawer at random, hearing makeup pieces rattle around inside. She picked up a golden tube, looking at the bottom.

"Jungle Red, huh?" she said to herself. She popped the cap off and lifted it to the mirror.

 _ **I SEE YOU. -A**_

She took a step back, admiring her work. The letters were bold, red, sticky from the lipstick. Definitely creepy. She wiped the tube off with her hoodie sleeve, and then placed it open, cap off back on the counter.

* * *

Emily waited patiently for Alison downstairs, looking around the meticulously kept DiLaurentis sitting room. Her eyes fell on the big black piano, and she slid her hand over the top of it. The thing had sat there, unmoving, the entire time she'd known Ali, and she'd never once heard it played. Did Mrs. D just like it as an expensive display piece? Seemed like a waste.

She turned her head as she heard a creak on the stairs and saw Alison descending in the darkness, quietly making her way down to the landing. Ali wasn't looking at her, so Emily felt like she could really observe the blonde. She still couldn't believe how beautiful she was, her golden hair seeming to have that extra healthy glow, even in the dark.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she said to Emily, catching her eye, smiling slightly. For a tense moment, Emily thought Ali had somehow read her mind, then she realized her hand was still on the top of the piano.

"Oh," Emily said, flustered. "Yeah, for sure."

"I played piano all the time growing up," Ali said as she crossed over to Emily, her index finger running along the top of the black frame.

"Really?" Emily asked, surprised. "Why have I never heard you play?"

"I guess I don't play any more," she said dryly, almost like she was making fun of herself. Emily didn't quite understand it.

"So, you're pretty good?"

"Mhm," Ali responded cooly.

"Well, will you-will you play something for me?" Emily asked shyly.

Emily thought she might say no, but Ali smiled widely at Emily as she sat on the bench. Emily rounded to the back of the piano, leaning over it, her forearms resting on the hood, a hand holding up her face. It was still almost completely dark in the room, but when she was about to ask Ali if she wanted the lights on, the blonde started playing.

Music filled the room. It caused Emily's breath to instantly die in her throat. The sound of the instrument was so full and striking, Ali's fingers hitting the keys with such purpose, Emily was taken aback. The piano was louder than she expected, too, but not in a bad way. It was as if the room had suddenly roared to life, and Ali was the driving force behind it. It was mystifying.

As she listened, Emily realized that she had certainly not thought Ali was _this_ good at piano. She felt like Ali would've bragged about it and shown it off at least once. Because she _was_ good. There were no breaks or pauses in the song, no mistruck keys, no indication that she was rusty at all. Emily was also surprised at the song selection, too. It sounded like something that would play in a western saloon or an old bar lounge. At first, she thought Ali was just making it up but then at the chorus, Emily suddenly recognized what it was.

"Is that Back to Black?" Emily asked, surprised and impressed. "By Amy Winehouse?"

Ali nodded, arching an eyebrow, but kept playing, watching Emily as her hands moved. Lately, Emily had felt like there was this strange shine in her eyes, like how cat's eyes reflected light in the dark. It was something that seemed to blaze intensely from deep within, and it shined especially brightly when she looked at Emily. With this and Harry Potter, Emily couldn't help but think it was like, after midnight, Ali became this totally different person. Like Cinderella in reverse. Her pumpkin turning into a stagecoach, her mice into horses, her terrible attitude into this beaming person that played piano for Emily.

They continued to gaze at each other, Emily feeling like Ali was slowly trapping her like a spider in a web of her beautiful playing, when Ali suddenly stopped. It saddened Emily, she disliked the silence that once again filled the living room like a real, physical entity.

"Come here," Ali said in that raspy, sexy voice of hers that Emily could not possibly decline.

Ali stood up as Emily walked over, motioning Emily to sit down. Emily sat and, instead of Ali sitting next to her, Ali leaned over from behind, her arms draped over Emily's shoulders. She positioned her hands over Emily's and began moving Emily's fingers, striking a few testing notes on the keys. Ali was so close behind her, Emily's could feel her chest pressed against her back, could feel her heart beat. Emily closed her eyes for a moment, Ali's closeness like a drug she was getting her first hit of the night, the smell of vanilla intoxicating in her nostrils.

"What're you doing?" Emily asked, almost in a whisper.

"I told you your fingers would be perfect for piano," she whispered seductively in Emily's ear, causing Emily to perceptibly shiver.

Ali started to play again, using Emily's fingers at first, before shifting under Emily's hands entirely. Emily watched, enchanted. With her hands sitting lightly on Ali's, it looked like she was playing, like Ali was some sort of puppet master pulling her strings.

This song was different than the other, though, Emily didn't recognize it this time. It was slower, more romantic. She could feel Ali's chin resting on her shoulder, her cheek brushing Emily's just slightly as her face moved while she watched the keys. The song was beautiful.

Emily shifted, pressing back into Alison, having to admit to herself what her body already knew; that Ali's playing was a huge turn on. As if in a trance, under the spell of the music, Emily's hands slid up the back of Ali's while she continued to play, Emily's fingernails grazing her wrists and lower forearms. She turned her face against Ali's, pressing her lips to Ali's jaw, cheek, moving to kiss her ear, her brow. Ali's playing faltered as her attention slipped from the piano, and she captured Emily's lips with hers, one hand pulling from the keys to wrap tightly around Emily's waist. Ali's other hand continued playing, even as she kissed Emily deeper, her consummate blue eyes fluttering open occasionally to look at Emily.

Ali still stood behind Emily, pressing her hand hotly across the brunette's stomach, brushing her shirt up. Emily's mind couldn't help but flash to how Ali had treated her earlier in the day. Her apology hadn't exactly felt like enough, like she didn't totally get what she'd done. Emily needed this, the physical affection that proved Ali still had feelings for her. So, she needily kissed Alison, forcing entry through her lips, sweeping roughly against her tongue. Ali made a sound, like a hum inside of Emily's mouth, and pulled her other hand away from the keys, altogether stopping her play. She wrapped it around Emily's waist too, pulling her tightly to her, like a backwards hug, kissing Emily just as roughly back.

For Emily, kissing Ali was totally different than kissing anyone else had been. Before her brain, her body had never quite been engaged, she always found herself thinking about other things, when she could leave, what she might do later. Not like this. She felt transported somewhere else entirely when she was kissing Ali. She felt like she had no idea who was in control of her body. But it felt right. And the more they'd been doing it, the more Emily had definitely felt a distinct type of need growing in both herself and Ali. She could tell Ali wanted to push things forward, but the blonde seemed to be trying to hold herself back at points. But, for Emily, she wanted to give in. It was the first time she'd actually really _wanted_ to go farther with anyone.

As if mirroring Emily's thoughts, Ali pulled away from Emily's mouth, panting softly against her lips, her eyes dark. Ali glanced down into the cleavage of Emily's white v-neck, her hands moving down from Emily's hips, fanning out over her thighs. She started massaging the muscle there, Emily closed her eyes, it was _so_ erotic. Like she was receiving a back rub that was quickly going sexually astray. Ali moved them downwards, pressing her fingertips into Emily's inner thighs, dangerously close to where her legs met. She shifted behind Emily, kissing her neck again, and Emily couldn't help but arch her back, roughly grip Ali's legs standing behind her. When Ali's thumb moved higher, dipping under her the waistband of her jeans, Emily took a hot breath. Her hand slowly followed, one of Ali's fingers tantalizingly tracing the outline of the top of Emily's underwear. _Oh my God_ , she thought.

"Mmm," Ali whispered, kissing the spot behind Emily's ear that drove her crazy. "I think I like this position."

 _Positions? God._ With Ali being behind her, touching her under her jeans, and saying things like that, Emily felt like she might explode. Emily had a hot vision of Alison lifting her onto the piano and stripping her of her jeans. But right as she thought that fantasy might come to fruition, the sound of a door bursting open split through the house.

"Ali?" a voice shouted, and Alison jumped backwards from Emily like she'd been struck by lightning, the piano bench flying to the side, crashing across the floor. Emily's head spun, trying to figure out where the door had opened. The back door? Emily shot an alarmed look at Ali, who looked genuinely petrified.

She grabbed Emily's hand roughly and dragged her hurriedly to the front door, as they heard loud footsteps pound in the kitchen. She threw it open and they bounded down the front steps.

"ALI?!" the voice rang out again, loud and threatening, from inside the house.

Emily recognized it this time. It was Jason. But she didn't get a chance to see him come out since Ali was dragging her as if her life literally depended on it, so fast Emily almost fell when they shot through the bushes into Spencer's yard.

"Ali, wait!" Emily said jerking on her hand, stopping the blonde. Ali's hood was still down, her hair falling in beautifully messy curls at her shoulders.

"Come on," she said pleadingly.

"What's wrong? Why are you—" Emily was trying to say between ragged breaths, "why are you scared of him?"

Then they heard the door to the barn bang open.

"Emily?" Spencer called out into the darkness. She stood in the doorway of the barn, clad in her pajamas, with what looked like a cup of tea.

Emily doubled over, her palms on her knees, trying to catch her breath. Her heart had already been pounding when she and Ali had been interrupted, the added fear of sprinting out of the house had made her feel like she'd been punched in the stomach.

"Hey," she said breathless, standing up again, feeling like her heartbeat had finally stopped beating so painfully.

"Who were you talking to?" Spencer asked, clutching her tea.

"Alis—" she said, jerking her thumb behind her, but when Emily looked back, Ali was gone. It was just shadows and forest.

 **Next chapter, things heat up for Alison and Emily in Emily's bedroom! It's a BIG chapter. I'm only in my notes phase, and it already has 3,000 words. So, it may take longer to post, but it'll be worth it, trust me!  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** This took literally forever. I can't believe it's so many words. I actually got embarrassed at one point, like, I can't believe I'm writing an M-rated scene. Does that happen to anyone else? Regardless, thanks for the reviews. Enjoy!

* * *

Alison jerked awake suddenly, her body covered in sweat. She kicked off her blanket for some relief, pressing her hands over her face, trying to blot out the morning sun. _Good_ , she thought. _It was just a dream_.

She'd been dreaming that her parents had caught her at their house and, as punishment, the Radley staff had locked her in the hospital's basement. She'd always been scared of basements growing up, they were dark and dank, and her imagination constantly convinced her something was lurking just out of sight. In the dream, every time she tried to find a way out, it turned into a maze of terrifying rooms, of long, black, dark hallways, of monsters. She'd thought she would die, alone, down there. She grumbled out loud, pressing harder. It seemed cruel that she couldn't even escape Radley in her dreams. Wasn't she supposed to be dreaming of flying or some bullshit like that?

Though this dream, at least given current circumstances, seemed more warranted than the others in the past. She had almost been discovered last night. She clutched at her sheets, thinking about it again. The way Jason had said her name, she _knew_ he meant the real Alison, her. He knew she was the one who was in the house, not Courtney. And how? Because she'd been playing that god damn piano, loud as day. She'd been so afraid that he was about to catch her, blow everything she'd planned, that she'd practically sprinted all the way back to Radley. She probably could've won a gold medal for her record time. But, worst, she didn't even get to say bye to Emily. She'd hidden her backpack in a hollow tree near the edge of the sanitarium, swiftly climbed her rope ladder, and rolled it back up into the broken AC unit. She beelined immediately for her room, jumped into bed, and waited. Waited and waited for someone to burst into the room and punish her.

But no one came. After an hour, she quietly climbed out again and changed into her sleeping clothes. And thank God for it, because she hadn't realized she'd still been wearing her A ring. She quickly hid it under a board in her closet, feeling lucky she had privacy. When her mother had become a board member after Ali was sent back two years ago, she'd made sure her daughter got a solo room. It should've made Ali happy, to be one of the privileged who didn't have to share with a roommate, but it just convinced her that she would definitely never leave this place. That this place was now her fucked up home. And it definitely would be forever if she kept having such close calls.

After what felt like hours, where Ali kept thinking she could hear the sound of squeaking shoes on the linoleum outside her door, she finally fell into a fitful sleep.

Massaging her temples in her bed now, she still didn't totally believe she hadn't been caught, didn't totally believe she was in the clear. She thought of her things back in the tree, her ring under the board. She hated that she couldn't keep her valuables close to her. She hated that she was still here.

As if on cue, the door to her room suddenly swung open. Ali pulled her hands away from her eyes and looked at a hard-faced orderly.

"She's in here," he called back to someone she couldn't see. She sat up nervously in her bed.

The orderly stood waiting, while someone else strolled into the room. It was Eddie Lamb, a nurse she actually quite liked.

"Courtney," he smiled softly at her. "I'm sorry to do this, but we need to search your room."

She moved out of bed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Why?" she asked.

He shrugged, which made her feel better. He didn't seem too stressed or overly concerned. "Someone gave us a call, they thought you'd been out of your bed."

"I wish," she tried to say lightly, trying to hide her shaking hands under her arms. "I'd do just about anything for a bag of Cheetos."

"I'll see what I can get for you," he said, smiling kindly at her. "But, in the mean time, I won't take long. I'll be careful with your things."

"Thanks Eddie," she said, walking past him.

She was only slightly relieved. She didn't think he would find her ring, but it was still weird that someone had called here. But what did she expect? She'd left a scary message on Courtney's bathroom mirror and all her shit splayed out over her bed. It was probably her who called.

Whatever. Ali might as well go get breakfast. There would be nothing else to do this early. There were no computers, no internet. They weren't allowed newspapers or live TV. They could only read books, watch the old collection of DVD's, or play board or card games. Even phone access was a privilege. They were only allowed to make calls from 4-5 PM on Sundays, not that there was anyone Ali had ever had to talk to. All she wanted, really, was a long night's sleep on a comfortable mattress. She would call herself Courtney for the next year if she could have that.

As she walked towards the cafeteria, she passed a window that looked down onto the main entry way of Radley. She paused, looking longingly at those tall, black gates. She'd gazed down at them dozens, maybe hundreds of times. When her parents had first brought her here, there were a lot of things to take in. The slate grey stones, the creeping vines, the yellow gas light lamps, the big black door. But the gates, they stood out the most. They'd seemed so looming and gothic, the way she might've imagined the gates of purgatory. There were two giant letters emblazoned on the wrought iron, "RS." But she'd only seen them from the outside twice. She was far more acquainted with the inside view of the gates. She would always remember the letters as reading "SR."

She continued past the window with a sigh. She paused, turning on her heel, when she heard a croaky voice her call out her name.

"Courtney? You have a visitor in the rec room."

 _A visitor?_ she thought, unnerved. Who would be coming to Radley this early in the morning?

She steeled herself, moving back in the direction of the recreation room. It only took a few minutes before she was pushing open the metal gate, her eyes immediately falling on a muscular back, a head of dark blonde hair, sitting at a table by the window.

 _Great._ Alison had almost come face to face with Spencer, her half-sister, last night and now here she was, about to be face to face with Jason, her half-brother, first thing in the morning.

"Do my eyes deceive me? To what do I owe the pleasure?" she said sickeningly sweet, sidling up to the table and pulling the plastic chair opposite Jason out with a loud, intentional screech.

He jumped at the sound, shooting her a glare. She tried to smile as pleasantly as possible. He didn't answer her, though, so they sat in silence for a moment as Ali grabbed a deck of cards from the window ledge.

"Do I have you to thank for having my room searched this morning?" she asked with mock gratitude, shuffling the cards.

Jason only continued to glare at her, his jaw tense, his eyes burning. She merely moved the cards into a tall bridge, making sure every single card struck, the noise loud and choppy in the empty room.

"How did you do it?" he said finally.

"Do what, Jason?" Ali asked innocently..

"How did you get out?"

Ali stopped shuffling the cards, placing the deck neatly in front of her.

"Me? Get out?" she feigned shock.

" _You_ were at the house last night," he insisted through gritted teeth.

It was almost comical how angry he looked. She stared at him for a moment, before breaking out into a loud, mellifluous laugh.

"I haven't gone anywhere," she said, feeling her smile turn up, curling, slightly viciously. "Who's the crazy one now?"

"I know it was you," he continued, determined, leaning slightly towards her over the table, his hand pressed hard against the top. "I heard the piano."

"Oh, big brother, I don't play piano remember. That's Ali. Are you sure it wasn't _her_? Or can you not tell us apart?"

Ali's faux smile was gone now as they stared at each other in a long, unbroken impasse. It was probably stupid of her to make that dig, but it felt good. Ali had always thought Jason, of all people, would've recognized Courtney when she'd switched with Ali. He and Courtney had always been closer, she had always been his precious favorite. When Courtney had been in Radley, Jason had visited her every week, all four years. Ali had only seen him when she'd seen her father. Almost never. She was convinced Jason knew and had never come to her aid, defended her after the switch. That he'd wanted Courtney to be free and Ali to be trapped. Oh, it made her _burn_ with rage.

Ali finally rolled her eyes, breaking the Mexican stand-off.

"Honestly, Jason. Do you think I'd _still_ be here if I got out last night?" she said cuttingly.

"That's what I keep asking myself. You're up to something."

"Interesting theory," she said after a lingering beat. "But what would I want more than leaving this shithole?"

"You tell me," he said stubbornly back.

"No, _you_ tell me," she said, using a specific tone now, the one she'd used to ascend into Queen Bee status in middle school. The one that cut a wide, jagged swath through the egos, hopes, and dreams of her peers. "Is _Ali_ still your favorite? Is she still sweet? Kind? Sympathetic?"

" _Ali_ was never my favorite. Courtney-you wer-are," he said, but she could see his hands trembling slightly, which he moved under the table. "This place has changed you," he tried to defend.

"Maybe," she responded. "But I think _that_ place," she said, pointing her finger casually out the window, "has changed her."

Ali couldn't help but think, based off of how Emily and Caleb reacted, how 'Ali' Courtney acted now. Courtney had always been the nicer one before, the more likable. It had annoyed Alison, that people liked her better. Sure, she was jealous of it then, that their peers wanted to be around Courtney even though Ali was prettier. But, now, after four years of being Alison, Courtney sounded just as terrible as she herself had once been. And Ali hoped that transformation had been painful for Jason to witness.

"It's been four years now. One thousand four hundred and sixty days," she continued, fanning the cards across the table. "Was she everything you thought she'd blossom into being? A sweet, beautiful girl? Totally different than her terrible, bitchy sister?"

Jason didn't say anything at first, looking away. "I never thought you were a bitch," he said quietly.

"I hope what you did was worth it, then," she said acidly.

"I didn't _do_ anything," he hissed at her suddenly. "I'm not the reason you're in here."

"Maybe not. But you're definitely not the reason I'm out there, either."

She hoped that Jason understood what she was really trying to say. She wanted to scream at him across the table, I KNOW YOU KNOW I'M ALISON. But a long history of doing exactly that had taught her that it would only result in a massive increase in her meds, a revocation of her privileges. The last thing she needed right now was to bring any extra attention to her activities. So, she just sat there simmering.

Jason suddenly stood from the table, turning towards the exit.

"Not sticking around?" she said quickly. "I didn't figure as much. You were never very good at being there for me."

"I was there for you, Courtney. I was there for you for four years," he said turning back to her.

"I guess I remember it differently," Ali said back bitterly.

"This is why I don't visit you, you know," he said, placing his hand on the back of the chair he'd been sitting in. Ali just glared at him. "You're mean."

She leaned forward, picking up the cards again.

"I'm sorry," she said. "How else am I supposed to treat a traitor?"

He gave her one last angry, tortured look before he pushed through the metal caged door. Watching him, she hated him even more in that moment for the freedom he had to leave this place.

She sat there for another ten minutes, playing with the cards, ignoring the hunger building in her stomach, playing back over the conversation in her mind. The last part resonated. Even though the insult was simple, childish even, it slightly hurt her that he'd called her mean. Was she? Maybe once. But not now. She felt like she didn't exactly have the luxury. Radley had a way of purging every confident, arrogant belief she'd had about herself, stripping her down to her most basic parts. And her most basic parts only wanted to survive. Be free. Being outside of Radley these last few weeks had made her feel like a totally new person, had made her see a glimmer of who she really was again, and she couldn't give that up. Not for anything. Last night had been way too close.

And why? Because Emily had asked her to play that piano. This was exactly what she'd been worried about happening, when she'd told herself not to talk to her again before going to the school for her flag. When she did it anyway. And then fucking kissed her.

Sitting there at that table, in front of the barred bay windows, Alison decided she needed to say goodbye to her tonight. She needed to stop taking risks. She needed to let the brunette fade back into the obscurity she had appeared out of and get on with her new life.

* * *

Emily had just showered, pulling her light pink robe tight around her. She entered her bedroom, starting to brush through her thick black hair, standing in front of her stand up mirror.

This last week had felt like an eternity. Alison hadn't contacted her in days. Four, to be exact. She had been worried about the blonde after she'd disappeared in Spencer's yard like that. No goodbye, no text later. But she showed up at school like nothing was out of the ordinary. So, Emily should be happy, right?

But she didn't feel happy. Emily couldn't help but feel that Alison wasn't the same. Emily missed her in a weird way, felt like the person she'd seen lately during the day was not the Alison that she kissed at the piano, but some sort of guarded version of her. _This_ Ali was still being short and avoidant, having skipped several lunches with the girls, having made a cutting remark at every opportunity. And it seemed like she had shifted from Hanna as her punching bag to Spencer. It was like she hadn't heard Emily at all when she'd apologized, completely reverting to the way she'd acted before.

But who knew why? Emily certainly didn't. It was like the blonde had multiple personalities. And the current one wasn't talking to Emily, not one wayward glance thrown her way, like nothing had happened.

Blowing out a sigh, she set her brush down, running her hands again through her hair. Maybe this was just what it was going to be like being close to Alison. But, if that was true, Emily wasn't sure how long she could take riding her mood roller coaster before being thrown off. In the middle of these thoughts, she heard her door creak open, which made her jump a foot. Neither of her parents were home, so she had no idea who it could be. Hadn't she locked all the doors in the house?! She instantly clutched her brush, like she might have to use it as a weapon.

"Oh my God, Ali," Emily said, a hand at her chest. "You scared me. How did you get in here?"

"Duh, through your back door, Em," the blonde said closing the door softly.

"It wasn't locked?"

Ali cocked her head, pulling back her hoodie. "Special powers, remember?"

It took Emily a moment to figure out what she meant. "You broke into my house, Ali?"

"I locked it back," she said, merely smirking.

But then Ali suddenly seemed to notice what Emily was wearing. It wasn't much. The bath robe was short enough that it ended just above her knee. Emily's hair, too, was still wet, sitting on her shoulders.

"Hey mermaid," she said, stepping towards Emily, her regard suddenly changing.

 _God_ , Emily thought. The way Ali was looking at her. Jaw set, eyes ravenous. Ali must've seen her a hundred times in a bathing suit, a bikini, and had never once looked at her like she was looking at her now. Her blue eyes had darkened, her pupils dilated, and Emily reasoned, maybe it was just her eyes adjusting to the low light in the room. Or maybe Ali was about three seconds from untying her robe and tearing it off her body. It made Emily blush, hard.

"You okay there, wolf? What big eyes you have," Emily said teasingly, trying to reign in her heartbeat.

Ali lifted her hand to the lapel of the robe, touching it lightly, having appeared not to have heard Emily's question at all.

"Em, you're going to have to put some clothes on," she said plainly, faintly touching Emily's exposed collar bone.

"I'm sorry, Ali, I wasn't exactly expecting company," Emily said smiling, pulling away, swallowing with difficulty. Ali reluctantly let the robe go, causing the fabric to pull slightly as Emily moved away.

She walked towards her closet.

"All black again?" Emily asked playfully, stepping into her closet and letting her robe fall to the floor.

"No," Ali said, her tone strange enough to cause Emily to look at the blonde over her shoulder. Alison's face looked slightly red, like she was blushing, too.

"A night with you and we're not breaking any laws? I'm shocked," Emily said, pulling on her pajamas.

"No—no B&E," she said again. "Well, no _more_ B &E. We're celebrating. Look what I have," she said excitedly, crouching over. She slid a tall bottle of whiskey out of her weird, old backpack.

"Oh no, Ali." Emily said, putting her hand over her mouth. "Where did you get that? Your house?"

"Nope, I stole it from Spencer's barn," she said casually.

"So, you've already hit two houses in the neighborhood tonight?" Emily asked incredulously. "You're going to be a fugitive soon, Dick Slap."

Ali giggled, moving over to sit on Emily's bed. She patted the spot beside her and, with a sigh, Emily took it.

"Yep," Ali confessed easily. "Did you know Ian was in there?"

Emily was confused for a second. Hadn't that been what Ali had referenced the other day at lunch to Spencer?

"What a creep," she continued, twisting the top off of the bottle. "I hope he can't see in my window at night."

That idea definitely bothered Emily, too. She remembered Ian Thomas flirting with Ali, even way back in 8th grade. She hoped that wasn't something he still did with her.

"Cheers," Ali said, her bright blue eyes gazing at Emily as she took a swig from the bottle. As she swallowed, she shivered, making a disgusted face.

"Wow, that's worse than I remember," she coughed slightly, handing it to Emily.

Emily held the bottle like she was holding a dead animal.

"Ali, you are corrupting me," she stated, matter-of-fact.

Ali smiled wickedly, watching her closely.

"Go ahead, my little lamb," she said, putting one finger on the bottom of the bottle, lifting it up.

Emily took a swig, with a sad realization that she would probably do anything Ali told her. She hated whiskey. She could feel it burning all the way down her throat, into her chest, like some sort of acid. She didn't understand, at all, why anyone would drink hard liquor. Outside of desperate high school seniors, of course, who drank whatever they could steal from people's barns.

She handed it back to Alison, her lip curling at the bittersweet taste. She scooted further back on the bed, propping her back up against the headboard, her legs straight and flat in front of her. Ali glanced at Emily, watching her movement, before she laid backwards, her head falling into Emily's lap, just below her stomach. Emily froze for a second, feeling the weight of her on her legs, not quite sure what to do. But Ali's legs were kicking happily off the side of the bed, her blonde hair spilling out over Emily's thighs. Emily desperately wanted to run her hands through it. It looked so soft and shiny.

Ali took another swig, careful not to spill it on her chest.

"Do you ever have the urge to smell certain things?" she asked, handing the bottle back to Emily.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked with interest.

"Like a certain perfume?"

Emily definitely wanted to smell Alison's perfume, but not just at random times, all the time. Her vanilla scent. If she could bottle it, and save it forever, she would.

"Hm," she merely said back, not wanting to share.

"Or gasoline?" Ali continued. "Or bleach?"

"Bleach?!" Emily cried out, laughing.

"You know, just really random things," Ali laughed, trying to justify it. "I know it sounds weird."

Emily looked down at Ali, like she was looking down at a kitten in her lap. Ali gazed back at her, her head slightly turned, smiling slightly. Her eyes looked bluer again, like two shallow pools of Caribbean water. Emily took another swig from the whiskey.

"No," she said, very pointedly. "I do not ever have the urge to smell bleach, Ali."

"Well, I get smell cravings," she shrugged.

"Obviously," Emily said, passing the bottle back to her. "What else?" Emily couldn't help but ask, her curiosity piqued.

Ali looked like she'd been waiting for her to ask, the dimples in her cheek showing.

"Well, let's see," she started. "Coffee. Wet grass. Car air conditioning."

Emily couldn't stop herself from running her fingers lightly through Ali's hair, Ali's eyes flickering up to hers again, mesmerizing.

"I sometimes crave the smell of people, I guess," Emily conceded. "But not objects."

"Really? There are tons of objects I crave. I love the smell of laundry, matches—"

"Matches?"

"Oh yes. God, the list goes on," Ali continued with a sigh. "It changes all the time. Beer, even. Dogs."

Emily laughed at her again, her fingernails digging slightly harder into her scalp. Ali's eyes fluttered closed for a moment.

"You're lying," Emily said.

"I'm not," Ali smiled back at her, sitting up to take a drink from the bottle. Emily's hand fell away from her hair, and she immediately missed the contact.

But, thankfully, she moved into a sitting position facing Emily, her knees just touching Emily's left hip. She placed the bottle on the bed between them.

"Why would you crave any of those things?" Emily inquired. "You could go smell them any time you wanted."

"Not always," she said quietly.

"What do you crave right now?" Emily boldly asked, trying to be suggestive, flirtatious, still finding it incredibly nerve-wracking. Ali smiled, like she knew exactly what Emily was doing.

After a beat, she crawled towards Emily, tilting her head, pressing her nose close to Emily's cheek, down back towards her ear, her hair, and inhaled. Emily felt herself get goosebumps, rising up slightly to meet Ali's cheek.

"Chlorine," she said with a sweet smile, pulling back to look at the swimmer, only inches away.

"Really? I just showered!" Emily protested, mildly annoyed Ali could still smell the pool on her, but mostly intoxicated by her proximity.

"I can smell that, too," Ali said. "Smells good."

Their faces were close, just the bottle sitting between them. Ali was still on all fours, her arms on both sides of Emily. Emily could feel one of Ali's fingers just touching her pajama shorts. Her head was still tilted, their lips just a breath apart. They moved toward each other at the same time, meeting in a slow, unhurried kiss.

It was bliss for Emily. She lifted one of her hands up, tracing it across Ali's jaw, burrowing her fingers back behind her ear. She just barely shifted her tongue into the blonde's mouth, she loved the way Ali tasted, despite the traces of whiskey she detected. She loved how Ali always nuzzled her with her nose, the way Ali's pouty slips slightly tugged on hers. And, somehow, the alcohol was making Emily feel even hotter, her cheeks blazing. It was making her feel slightly numb, too, less timid. Her other hand fell to Ali's neck, wanting to trace her collar bone, like Ali had done to her earlier, but the hoodie obstructed her path.

That damn hoodie. It was bulky and in her way constantly. Pulling back slightly, Emily reached both hands to Ali's collar, unzipping the stupid jacket. She pushed it off Ali's shoulders, pulling the sleeves off of her arms, and threw it on the ground.

"Over that, are we?" Ali asked teasingly, having sat up on her knees to allow Emily to remove the jacket.

"That hoodie, Ali," Emily said back, exasperated. "I think this is the first time I've seen what you were wearing under it."

"Bet you've been thinking about _that_ though," Alison said with a smirk.

And maybe Emily had. She gazed down at Alison, her slender body finally exposed. She was only wearing a white v-neck, but it might as well have been a ball gown for how well it hugged her body. Emily could see Ali's bra through it, which was black. She took a breath at that.

Ali's eyes dropped downward, still looking at Emily, and she leaned slightly forward, picking up Emily's necklace. Her finger wound down the chain, tracing it towards the valley of Emily's chest. It tickled Emily in more ways than one.

"Do you always wear this?" she asked, her voice as always musical, honeyed.

"No," Emily said breathlessly, still tingling. "That reminds me. Hold on, I have something for you."

She knew she probably shouldn't, that it was most likely the alcohol's influence making her impulsive. But in the moment, she didn't care.

* * *

Emily was absolutely driving Alison crazy tonight. Alison was _supposed_ to be saying goodbye. Breaking up with her. Or something. Yet everything Emily did was making her second guess. Instilling doubt. _Why not one more night?_ she begged herself.

Emily withdrew from the bed, her necklace pulling out of Ali's fingers, making Ali pout slightly. Ali moved back to sit on the edge of the comforter, watching Emily curiously as she went back to her closet. Ali prayed that she wasn't planning on changing clothes again, she didn't know if she could stop herself from pinning her in there. _Ugh_ , she thought. _Following her right into the closet._

But luckily Emily didn't change. She pulled out a long, thin black box, the kind a clothing store would use to wrap up a gift. Emily bit her lip nervously, turning back to Alison. It was cute.

"It's for your birthday, but I wanted to give it to you earlier."

Ali's birthday, yet another thing she shared with Courtney, was on June 23rd, coming up. She would be 18, legally an adult, allegedly the age of freedom. It was supposed to be the age she could smoke, gamble, and even drink in some places. Before, she'd never thought she'd be able to do any of those things this year. But maybe, if she escaped, she could.

Emily closed the space between them, handing Ali the box. Ali took it from her with some hesitancy. What if this present was for Courtney? Or an inside joke? And she didn't get it? But she couldn't exactly refuse Emily's gift either. So, she worked the outside of the box free from the bottom, pulling it off and placing it on the bed.

Looking in, she saw it was a beautifully folded, large, red trench coat. She stared down at it, reaching out to touch the fabric.

"This is for me?" she asked, surprised. She hadn't intended the question to have multiple meanings, but she was actually surprised Emily got something for _her_ , not Courtney.

"Do you like it?" Emily asked nervously, shifting her weight to her other foot.

"Is this—," Ali started to ask, unable to contain her smile. "To replace my hoodie?"

Emily nodded with a small smile of affirmation.

"You know, this is the opposite of a crime hoodie," she said, picking the coat up. It was bright red, blood red, rose red.

"I know. It has different powers," Emily said, touching the sleeve, her lips quirking slightly. "It doesn't make you invisible. When you wear it, I'll always be able to find you."

Alison's expression faltered as she heard what Emily said. She couldn't remember a time when anyone wanted to be able to find her. She'd felt like she'd been invisible for years. Like she'd embodied the color black. She moved the box to the side, standing up. She took Emily's face in her hands and pulled her into a desperate kiss, trying to pour all of her gratitude into it.

"There's something else," Emily said, muffled, breaking the kiss with reluctance.

"There's something else?!" Ali asked disbelieving, her hands still at the base of Emily's neck. Emily pulled away from her once again, but this time Alison took her hand and followed her to her desk.

"Yes, that's just your birthday present. I have a graduation gift, too."

Emily squeezed Ali's hand, pulling out a black box from one from one of the drawers. Ali took in a sharp breath. It was definitely a jewelry box. But before she could get too concerned about what was inside, Emily opened it revealing a silver necklace.

"Turn around," Emily directed, with another bite of her lip.

Ali smiled, turning, and Emily slightly positioned her in front of the stand-up mirror. She brushed her blonde curls aside, reaching over her head, looping the necklace around her neck. She clasped it in the back.

Alison looked at herself, rubbing the emblem hanging on the silver chain. It looked faintly Irish or Gaelic. Even native American. Like an odd infinity symbol.

"What does it mean?" she asked.

"We have matching ones," Emily said, withdrawing the necklace Ali had just been playing with from her shirt. She showed it to Alison, her icy blue eyes flashing over it.

"It stands for new beginnings. I know we'll be in different states. But we'll both have this. So, even if we're far away, we'll still have each other."

Alison didn't know what to say, didn't know how to react. Ali wanted to say that it was too much. That Emily, herself, was too much. Her thoughtfulness. Her purity. She didn't think a love like hers actually even existed, based on what she'd seen, and she definitely didn't think she deserved it. She didn't think anyone did.

She found herself staring at Emily in the reflection, her brown eyes, her black hair, her high cheek bones, while trying to contain some sort of intense emotional reaction, she wasn't even sure what. Like she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. She'd told herself she wouldn't kiss Emily tonight. Not too much at least. But how was she supposed to _not_ after this? Alison couldn't help it.

She turned suddenly, wrapping a hand around Emily's neck, and kissed her hard. This kiss was not slow or unhurried. This kiss was needy, craving, impatient. It was rough as Ali tangled her body with Emily's, tousling her hair, pushing her down onto the desk chair. She wrapped her legs around Emily, sitting in her lap again, while Emily kissed her back just as enthusiastically. After a few minutes of their breathless making out, Emily picked Ali up, her hands under her thighs, fulfilling a personal fantasy of Ali's, and carried her to the bed.

"So, I take it you like it?" Emily breathed out as she placed Ali on the bed, moving on top of her, impossibly gracefully. Ali could barely register that Emily was teasing her as she fisted her hand into her pajama top, pulling the brunette back to her lips.

Emily shifted, and Ali knew this was different than kissing Emily at the kissing rock, in the car, at her house. They were kissing in Emily's bed. Heatedly. She knew this was a dangerous territory. New and forbidden. It scared her, but it somehow made it hotter, too. She also felt that the alcohol was hitting her all at once, right now, causing her to act extra aggressively, pull and push at Emily with added zeal.

And Emily was no different. That whiskey _had_ been a good idea. She definitely didn't need to tell Emily to touch her twice. Emily rolled on top of her, pushing under Ali's shirt, brushing her fingers over her stomach. _Fuck._ _Shy in the streets, sexy in the sheets,_ Ali thought. She could feel Emily tracing her fingers up and down her stomach, it was giving her chills. She wasn't sure what she would do if this continued, and she needed a second to think because, god, she couldn't think at all.

So, Ali flipped them over. Somehow, she fell between Emily's legs, her stomach pressed against Emily's center. Ali's mind hazed over as she pulled herself up Emily's toned body, partially from the alcohol, mostly from the physical sensation of the friction.

"Ali," Emily whispered against her ear hotly, Ali's blonde hair falling over their faces like a curtain. She loved hearing Emily say her name. Her real name.

"Stay over tonight, you don't have to go home. I know your parents are out," were they? "And so are mine."

Alison felt her face flush, thinking about it. Thinking about waking up next to Emily in bed, Emily holding Ali tightly from behind, feeling her warmth through her clothes. Or, better yet, naked. She shivered at the thought. It was so tempting, especially as she felt Emily hands grip her ass roughly, grinding herself against Ali. It was unashamedly sexual. _Fuck_ , Ali thought. It reminded her of the car.

"I want to, Em," she breathed, her eyes fluttering closed as she felt Emily's lips press against her neck. _Oh my God._ She felt Emily's tongue snake out, pressing a hot, velvety circle across her skin. "Mmmm, God, I want to."

Ali took Emily's lips in hers again, feeling addicted to her taste, wanting more. Wanting not only more of the swimmer's hands roaming over her body, but more of her in general. She couldn't help but imagine a life where she could actually sleep over at Emily's. A life where she could see Emily in the sunlight for once. A life where she could wear that red jacket.

"So, do it," Emily said, pulling back slightly, her lips full from their kissing, her chocolate brown eyes staring at Ali.

Her fingers danced just under the line of Ali's jeans, causing her to feel a sharp pang of arousal. Ali couldn't help but kiss Emily again, even though the question had caused Ali, for once, to feel like she might actually be schizophrenic. There were a chorus of voices all arguing in her head.

Her libido said, if she told Emily the truth, Emily definitely wouldn't let her do this. This thing Ali desperately wanted to explore. This thing she'd been thinking about constantly, starving for. _Don't tell her_ , it said. _Take her clothes off_.

But then her heart disagreed. _Don't do this,_ it said. _Tell her. Find a way to make Emily come with you. Find a way to make Emily forgive you for lying to her. Make her choose you._

And, as if that wasn't enough, her brain, Ali's least favorite voice at the moment, entered the conversation. _You're fucked_ , it said. _Fucked beyond fucked._ What Ali had already done was wrong, unforgivable even, but this. This would be _so_ wrong, three counties over from wrong. The worst. People made out all the time. But if she stayed over, had sex with Emily while Ali was pretending to be Courtney, the girl Emily was really in love with? And Emily _did_ find out? It would devastate her. Her brain said, _she's_ _going to find out. She was always going to find out. And she won't forgive you. Do the right thing. Leave. Never come back. You've already been stupid enough._

So, trying to listen to the majority, Ali pulled back, forcing her hands to prop her up, pressing her palms flat at the sides of Emily's head, digging them deeply into the sheets. The necklace Emily had just given her dangled between them.

"Wait," she said, looking at Emily, breathing heavily. But try as she might to send the right signals to her body, she couldn't bring herself to move off of the brunette. It had already felt like a Herculean task just to stop kissing her. It occurred to Ali that the stupidest voice, her libido, might also be the strongest. Typical.

"Why?" Emily asked, torturously choosing this moment to wrap one leg around Ali's waist, squeezing her erotically. She trailed her hand along her jaw and her thumb over her lips. Her eyes were black, her lips were wet. _Oh, God._

"Are you scared?" she asked.

"No," Ali breathed achingly. "I mean—kind of—"

"Don't be," Emily said in such a sensuous, low voice. "You are so," she continued, dragging the thumb from Ali's bottom lip down her neck, to the dip in her v-neck shirt, "sexy."

Ali clenched her jaw, closed her eyes, squeezed the sheets harder. She could feel Emily's heel curling up her calf, her finger tracing the top of her breast, traveling the outline of her bra. Couldn't she just... a little?

 _No, Ali._

Emily moved her hips slightly, their cores coming into contact. It was heavenly, unbearably tempting, painful even for Ali not to reciprocate the movement.

 _Ugh, God. No. You can't._

Emily craned her head upwards, brushing her lips along Ali's ear. "I want you," she said, and Ali's eyes snapped open.

Sweet Emily, sweet Emily Fields talking dirty.

Fuck it.

Ali kissed Emily then, hard, rocking into her, causing Emily's body to shift on the mattress, upwards, towards the headboard. Emily groaned into her mouth. Ali's hands tore away from their position in the sheets, immediately going to the hem of Emily's shirt. Yes, she was doing this. She pulled and Emily sat up, shifting Ali into a straddling position, her knees on both sides of Emily's waist.

Ali ripped the shirt off of her, her hands eagerly exploring the newly exposed skin, her fingers dragging along the length of Emily's spine. She looked down. Emily wasn't wearing a bra. _Christ._

She couldn't help but stare. Under Alison's penetrating gaze, Emily looked shy and moved to try to cover herself, but Ali caught her wrist.

"No," she said, almost in a growl.

Emily's lips parted in surprise and in… something else. Ali kissed her again, running her tongue along her inner lip, pushing her arm away as her hands travelled over her bare sides. She broke the kiss to look down again. Emily's body was amazing, exactly what she'd hoped and everything she'd wanted. She dragged a nail over her toned abs, scratching lightly.

"You're perfect," she whispered. Emily smiled at her.

Emily was still sitting up, Ali in her lap. Ali didn't exactly know what to do, but she wanted to do something. She wanted to keep touching Emily's naked skin, and she wanted to make her feel good. She began with her thumbs on the underside of Emily's breasts, the skin was so soft, before she moved both palms over them, squeezing.

"Mmmm, Ali," Emily moaned out, closing her eyes, her hands gripping Ali's ass again. Emily's eyes fluttered back open.

"Can I—?" she asked, her hands moving up to the small of Ali's back, tugging lightly at the bottom of Ali's shirt. Ali nodded, biting her lip.

Emily slowly, tantalizingly, pulled her shirt up and off. Once it was free, Ali replaced her hands back at Emily's breasts and brushed her thumbs over her nipples. Emily whimpered again as Ali felt them harden underneath her touch. _Fuck._ But before Ali had an opportunity to respond, Emily pulled her back into a wanting kiss, her hands sliding up Ali's back, moving to the clasp of her black bra.

Ali took a shaky breath, realizing that in only a moment, they would both be naked from the top up. She had never actually gone this far with anyone. She hadn't been _that_ progressive in 8th grade, even if everyone thought otherwise. But she wanted to. It was definitely something she'd thought about a lot, read about constantly. She just didn't have the opportunity. It wasn't like she could meet any hot guys during her visitation hours. No one knew Courtney even existed. And the part of Radley she was kept in was female only and, before Emily, she'd held zero interest in _that_. So, this was all very new and terrifying and thrilling.

Ali heard the clasp pop free. Emily pulled the straps down her arms, throwing the bra on the floor. Ali moved her arms to wrap around Emily's neck again, kissing her, feeling their bare chests touch, unable to suppress a low moan of her own at the contact. Ali could feel Emily's soft hair, still wet, touching her naked skin, and it was almost unbearable. She smelled so good, like her shampoo, indistinctly coconut, maybe even almonds. Ali wanted to get lost in it.

She moved to kiss Emily's neck roughly, moving to her ear.

"You said you want me?" she husked. "Tell me how much."

She didn't exactly have experience with talking dirty, but was surprised that it came naturally. It felt right to tease Emily. A little, at least, she couldn't help it. She was definitely the type that liked "to play with her food" so to speak. And, for some reason, she liked the idea of corrupting Emily, too, loved it when she'd said that earlier. She wanted to see how far she could push her to talk back.

So, one hand moved up, and one hand moved down. She toyed with Emily's nipple again, manipulating and flicking, enjoying the brunette's jerking reactions. The other cupped Emily's center tightly through her pajama shorts. She didn't even know what possessed her to do it. It was like Ali was under the effect of a drug, and Emily was that drug. She felt like she was doing things in a dream.

"God, Ali," Emily hissed.

"Tell me," she said, sliding a finger up and over Emily's sex through her shorts.

"Bad," Emily practically choked out, her hips bucking up to Ali's.

"Are you wet?" Ali whispered again, slipping her hand under the leg of the shorts, grateful that they were so thin. She didn't know what 'wet' felt like on someone else, she'd only read about it in Cosmo, but she was going to find out.

She moved her hand around to the back, over Emily's ass, she wasn't wearing anything beneath her pajamas. Damn. Ali was happy she hadn't known earlier, it had been hard enough to see her in a robe. To know there was such a small barrier between her and Emily's naked body was agonizing.

"Mfh—" Emily said, unable to form a coherent word as Ali moved her hand around to the front again, her thumb running up and down her bare center now. She dug her nails stiffly into Ali's back, as Ali felt her thumb come away, slick.

"You are," Ali said, nipping her ear.

Ali pressed Emily back against the bed. She rolled to the side, grabbing the waist band of her shorts, feeling irritated at their interference, and pulled them down Emily's long, caramel legs.

Once they were gone, Ali shifted back on top of Emily, moving experimentally between in her legs, rocking into her core.

"Ali," Emily moaned out, her fingers tightening within the blonde's hair. Alison once again appreciated the control she could have with Emily. The shameless domination of being on top.

"Yours too," Emily she said with a muffled moan as Ali rolled again, her breathing heavy, her eyes lingering on the jeans Ali still wore. Emily's hands moved to the button and popped it open, pulling the zipper down. She shifted below Alison, pushing her jeans down her legs, her finger hooking into her panties as well. Ali swallowed, but helped kick them off.

Ali felt nervous to be totally naked, but the feeling quickly dissipated as Emily rewrapped her legs around Ali's waist, her ankles crossing behind her. She moaned out as their wet, hot cores ground against each other. She couldn't help but think, well, they were doing it. They were actually having sex now. And it was both what Alison had imagined and nothing like she'd imagined. Her hand fluttered down across Emily's tight abs, inserting her fingers between them. Her faintly formed plan was to just try things she liked, things she'd read about in Cosmo.

So, that's what she did as she stroked what she assumed was Emily's clit, purely based on the other girl's convulsing reactions. She moved up, down, in circles, getting totally lost in it, feeling the faint sheen of sweat form on her back as she concentrated. Emily was breathing too hard to kiss, filling the room with provocative sighs and moans, one hand fisted in Ali's blonde hair. So, Ali kissed the soft flesh of her breast, flicking her tongue over the hard nipple, switching to the other at whim.

"Ali, I'm—" Emily started, and her voice was so sexy, Ali had to pull away to look at her face. She was a goddess. She pressed her hand lower, taunting Emily's entrance in a slow circular pattern.

"Can I—?" Ali started, but Emily pressed the back of Ali's neck, forcing their foreheads to meet. Ali stared into her brown eyes, feeling the brush of her eye lashes, feeling Emily's pulse, fast and heavy.

"Please, yes," Emily breathed. So, Ali began a gentle and steady drive, thrusting a finger inside her and slowly withdrawing it.

"Oh my God, Ali," Emily whimpered out, looking down at Ali's hand, clutching hard at her shoulders. Ali couldn't help but look, too, it was fascinating.

But it had an unintended effect. She quickly realized that she was getting seriously turned on by what she was doing. By everything that Emily was, tasted like, smelled like, felt like. By Emily grinding against her, moaning, panting. Her other arm was on fire from the strain of having to hold herself up, but it was worth it, being assaulted by Emily in all five senses

Ali used her hips' force, moving in the same rhythm as her hand, to push deeper within Emily. She felt the brunette's legs quivering behind her, her fingers shaking lightly in Ali's blonde locks, her legs tightening around Ali's waist with each thrust. Emily looked so vulnerable under her touch, so sexy. Her eyes were shut, her head thrown back.

Ali moved to kiss her neck, her favorite spot, hoping it would send her over the edge. It worked. She could feel Emily's muscles contracting, while she was still inside her, it was exhilarating. As Emily climaxed, particularly loudly, Ali sucked hard at the spot behind her ear, making sure to leave a mark. She couldn't help it. She ran her tongue over it, while Emily's body still shook and trembled.

"Fuck, Ali," Emily finally breathed out as Ali continued to kiss her ear, her cheek.

"Sweet Emily," she said pulling back, her eyes falling to the other girl's mouth. "I could get used to you cursing. I guess I'm _rubbing_ off on you," she said with a smirk, kissing her again.

Emily chuckled at her from inside their connected mouths before she flipped them over, reversing their positions. Emily hooked a hand under Alison's knee, pulling it up to her waist. Emily looked down at her like she was looking at a particularly beautiful painting, dragging one finger from her lips, down her chest, stomach, and lower. She applied some testing pressure, seeming to know just where Ali wanted it.

 _Oh fuck,_ Ali thought at the contact, realizing that it wasn't going to take much. She'd gotten _really_ worked up.

Emily mirrored what Ali had done to her, tracing every possible pattern with her index finger. Even during her own self experimentation, Ali had never felt anything like this building sensation. She felt hot, constricted, desperate for a release she didn't even know she needed.

"Em," she breathed, digging her nails into the brunette's back, tightening her heel around her waist. "Don't stop."

Emily didn't. She was forcing Ali's body to react in a way she'd never experienced before, her heart pounding so fast and loud she thought she might pass out. Ali had obviously read about orgasms, they seemed like a big deal in Cosmo, but she'd had no idea that sex could be like this. She no longer felt in control of her movements, seizing, writhing, grasping at any part of Emily she could. The pleasure was building rapidly, like an odd coiling in her stomach, causing muscles to tense that she didn't even know she had.

Then suddenly, it hit her. Like a tidal wave crashing down. Wave after wave of pleasure with such intensity, she couldn't help but moan loudly.

"Emily!" she cried out, pulling the brunette close, almost wanting to hide her face and drown in that intoxicating scent of hers.

"I love you," she heard Emily whispering in her ear. It was barely there, hard for Ali to hear over the blood rushing in her ears. But the words were definitely, unmistakably there.

Ali swallowed, opening her eyes, her entire body still tingling, her fingers still pressing at the nape of Emily's neck, her lungs desperately begging for air. _Shit_. This was why she shouldn't have done this. She couldn't say _that_ back. Not as _her._

But Emily just kissed her ear, her neck, her forehead, possibly not expecting, or even caring if Ali said it back, while Ali struggled to regain her composure.

As Emily pulled her into a tight cuddle, her bare skin still feeling so delicious against Ali's, Ali felt a crushing guilt. She realized that, despite all her best efforts to help herself, she'd chosen the more terrible, the worst option. But she didn't know how to deal with it, not now, so she just ignored it, pushing it deep, deep down. She reveled in the humming sensations that still coursed through her body, the warm haziness of the alcohol from earlier, and snuggled into Emily's chest, her ear on her sternum. She listened to her heartbeat thinking, she could just rest her eyes for a moment. But as a few minutes passed she drifted slowly to sleep.

 **Doesn't Alison have somewhere to be? Will she forget something in Emily's bedroom?  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all the reviews! I read each and every one, and they make me so happy. Several of them made me laugh out loud! I think the word "anxious" was in ALL of them. I'm sorry, but I'm also not sorry, :). I hope you're enjoying the ride!

Separate note: for those asking about "College Break", I plan to continue it after I finish with this story. It super pissed me off, and I deleted four of the chapters, but I'll get back to it!

* * *

Ali stirred from sleep, roused from a shadowy dream. She opened her eyes just slightly and, for a moment, it was like nothing had ever happened. She was Alison DiLaurentis again. She was in her bedroom, filled with morning sun. She could smell coffee brewing down in the kitchen, soft sheets against her skin. Except there was something new, too, something different. There was a warmth, a presence nearby. She felt a long, lean leg tangled with hers, a hand glide over her side, slender fingers pressing lightly at her hip bone. She heard a sultry, sleepy sigh, caught a whiff of sandalwood, coconut.

Wait.

Emily. Emily's room, not hers. Sun. Sunlight. Naked. Ali immediately shot up, emitting a huge gasp.

"Fuck!" she practically shouted.

She ripped the sheets off of her body and bounded out of bed, snatching up each article of clothing she'd shed last night. She scrambled to snap her bra back on, pull her shirt over her head, slide her jeans up her legs.

"Ali?" Emily asked groggily, her hand pulling up the sheet to cover herself as she sat up, her eyes puffy.

Ali ignored her, panicked. She grabbed her backpack leaning against Emily's door, eyes sweeping the room for anything else she might've left. They fell on the whiskey, sitting on Emily's bedside table. She threw it into her backpack as well.

"I'm sorry, Em, I have to go," she said, leaning forward and kissing the corner of the brunette's mouth. Emily looked puzzled, like she wasn't totally awake, but Ali didn't have time to explain, to make up a lie.

She threw open Emily's door and flew down the stairs. She left out the back, eyes instantly squinting against the harsh sunlight, blinded. She felt disoriented. Scared. She moved out of instinct, though, towards the back alley. As her vision cleared, the green trees, blue sky, came abruptly into view. She glanced around at the rows of houses, back at Emily's colonial two story. It was weird to see everything during the day. It was all was so sharp and clear and bright. And she felt exposed in it, wide open. It was brisk, too, the wooden fence posts and gates covered in a thin sheen of mildew. She shivered, already missing Emily's warm body.

 _Mmm, Emily's body._ Ali couldn't help but have flashes of the night before, almost involuntarily feeling turned on all over again, even through the fear. Even while she was sprinting down the alley towards the forest. Kissing her was amazing. Touching her was amazing. Her body was amazing.

 _Shut up! That amazing body fucked you! And not in a good way!_

And it was true. She was for sure going to be caught out of bed because of her fucking lapse last night. Wasn't she supposed to be breaking things OFF with Emily? Wasn't that the whole point of going over there? It definitely wasn't to sleep with her! She was such an idiot.

For a quick second, Ali thought about not even going back, of just trying to making a clean get away. But she didn't have a license yet. And she wasn't going to find one as good as Caleb's for free from anyone else. She had to make sure to get it tonight. Tonight would be her last night in Radley Sanitarium, of that, she was certain. No more fuck ups.

With that as her motivation, she walked and ran as fast as she could back through the forest, feeling painfully hungry, feeling her lungs burn, her throat constrict with thirst. She didn't know what time it was, but it was surely almost time for morning checks. Hopefully, no one would notice her rope ladder yet, dangling innocently from the roof of the Radley. As long as she could get back before that, she still had a chance.

After forty-five minutes of what felt like back breaking running, Ali approached the dull outline of the Radley, seeing its stony grey form through the trees. She circled around a cluster of several oaks, finding her hollow tree, surprisingly difficult since she hadn't done it during the day before. She stuffed her backpack into it, covering it with leaves. That would have to do.

She crossed the lawn over to her rope ladder, hanging there for anyone to see. As she mounted it, scaling the wall, she felt like every muscle in her body ached. She felt her hair matted grossly to the side of her head. She didn't know what she wanted to do more: shower or eat.

Groaning she rolled up the ladder for what felt like the hundredth time, she'd be glad to never do it again after tonight, and hid it under the AC unit. She skipped to the door, opening it, and found herself running briskly down the hallway towards her room. She was so close.

"Courtney?" a voice said behind her.

Ugh. Busted.

But when she turned to see who it was, it was her friend, her favorite nurse, Eddie Lamb.

"I was just looking for you," he said calmly. "You weren't in bed for checks this morning."

"Well," Ali said, trying to make her voice sound like she wasn't winded from all of the exertion. "Here I am."

"Little warm for a jacket, isn't it?" he asked, still friendly.

"No joke," she said, stripping off the black hoodie, instantly feeling relief from the cool, air conditioning hitting her sweat-drenched skin.

Eddie's eyes glanced down, taking in her haggard appearance.

"Where is your bracelet?"

Ali froze, her heart stopped beating. At least, that's what it felt like. She grabbed her wrist, feeling the bare skin, the nakedness. _Oh God_. What if it was in Emily's room?

"It-It-fell off," she finished lamely, almost wanting to roll her eyes at herself, at such a transparent lie.

Eddie made an incredulous face. "Well, let's go get you another one," he said sternly.

Ali followed him darkly, her mind swirling with where the stupid thing could be. It could be anywhere from here to the forest to Emily's room. She'd been all over fucking Rosewood last night.

When they arrived at the front desk, it didn't take long before a new bracelet was printed and placed back on her wrist, like a handcuff, like shackles. She hated her fucking bracelet, bearing that fucking name.

"Try not to lose this one," Eddie said, a look on his face like he absolutely knew what she was up to but going to let it slide. Ali was grateful for his kindness and patience. She nodded and he headed off back down the hall, to do what, Ali never knew.

She made her way back to her room and laid face down on her bed. She was still pouring sweat into the sheets. After a moment, she kicked her shoes off, throwing them across the floor. She pressed the pillow into her face, wanting to scream into it. Now that she had a moment to think, she could hardly stand it.

 _You've fucking done it now, Alison. You've really gone and fucked things right up_ , were the words, currently rolling on repeat in her mind.

She and Emily had sex last night. While she was pretending to be her twin sister. How would she explain this to anyone? God, the look on Courtney's face if she knew. What in the hell would her parents think? And they would find out. It was only a matter of time. This thing with Emily was a ticking time bomb. One she needed to get far away from before it detonated.

She spun onto her back. How did she even _get_ here? God damn Emily!

Ali needed to come up with a plan, stat, to dig herself out of this grave. The way she saw it, there were only three options.

1.) Abandon Emily without any explanation.  
2.) Break up with Emily as "Ali" and leave Courtney to deal with it.  
3.) Or tell her the truth and give up her own freedom after Emily turns her in.

And they were all shit. She hated all three of those options because, in none of them, did she end up with Emily. And Emily got hurt in every single one. The _right_ thing to do, option #3, came at the cost of destroying everything they'd done AND destroying her one chance at freedom. The _worst_ thing, option #2, wasn't even bearable for Ali to think about. So, that left option #1. And how was she supposed to do _that_?

Ali didn't think she could do either #1 or #2 because she was starting to suspect, especially after last night, that she might be in love with Emily. That's what it was, wasn't it? That's why she was acting so crazy, ruining her own life on the daily, just like in every tragic Shakespeare play?

She'd thought it was just a crush. Emily was hot, right? Kissing her, that was kind of normal. Girls kissed girls all the time. For 'practice.' That's what she'd hoped it was. Something that would eventually go away. But it didn't. What she'd done last night… not typical. Hard to write off as practice. Much closer to love.

But it was difficult to even contemplate. Alison DiLaurentis being in love sounded so stupid, even in her own mind. She didn't believe in it. She believed that people were selfish and manipulative. Cruel and greedy and bullying. All growing up, she'd thought something was wrong with her, that she didn't feel those warm fuzzy feelings for anyone. And she had never seen or experienced anything different until Emily. She had never wanted to be nice, to be better for someone. She had never intentionally sabotaged all of her carefully laid plans for someone else. For 'feelings.'

"Ugh!" she did finally yell into her pillow, willing herself not to cry.

If she did love her, she had really massively fucked up. And she didn't know how to change that. Maybe Emily really was a mermaid, luring Ali to her death, drowning her in her soft sweet affection. A fucking girl.

"You need to leave," she whispered agonizingly to herself, but she couldn't stop from touching the necklace Emily had given her, still cool against her skin. The necklace, the reminder, the representation of the one thing that held her back. The one tall, dark, glorious thing. And, after last night, she wanted it more than ever.

* * *

Emily got up in a stupor just after Alison had bolted out of her house. She'd blearily put on her clothes and was startled to find she was a little sore. That was new. At first she wasn't sure why, but then the memories flooded back to her. Ali moving on top of her, Ali kissing her neck, Ali's fingers brushing across her stomach.

God, she couldn't believe all that had happened. She touched her lips, remembering, convinced she could still taste Ali there. Ali had been perfect. Teasing, tempting, confident. It was everything that she'd hoped it would be like. And best of all, Ali had seemed like she really _wanted_ Emily. Dispelling Emily's fears that things still might be one-sided. That Ali might just be experimenting with or using her.

It was a fear that had existed on the edge of Emily's mind for some time. Because of how Ali wouldn't give her a yes or no about prom. Because of how Ali didn't want Emily to talk to her at school about what they did. Emily had never been with a girl, so she wasn't totally sure what to expect, but things didn't seem totally right with Alison. It gave her constant anxiety, and it always bubbled just near the surface when she was around Ali. But at least last night had proved something she'd suspected about herself for awhile now: that she enjoyed sex phenomenally more with girls than with guys. She'd done it, once, with her only serious boyfriend, Ben. It had been laborious, though, a chore. Worlds apart from last night.

When she caught a glance at herself in the mirror, she was smiling like an idiot, but she didn't care. Looking more closely, though, Emily noticed a _massive_ hickey Alison had left on her neck, just behind her ear. Good God, what if someone had seen that? What if she'd worn her hair up? She grumbled to herself, wanting to reproach Ali for not telling her.

She picked up her phone to text her, but thought better of it. She didn't want to seem too… clingy? Needy? She wanted to seem cool. But moving her hair into place to cover the mark (her hair was absolutely _wild_ from sleeping on it wet, from Ali's hands being in it all night), she realized she actually just didn't want to ruin anything. She never knew which side of Alison she was going to get at school.

But she didn't see Alison for the first several hours that day. School moved tediously, painfully slow, with Emily checking her phone every three minutes for anything from Ali. When she wasn't doing that, she was daydreaming of the night before. Critiquing her performance, it was the competitive swimmer in her. Wondering what she might want to google later. Sex research.

When Emily finally _did_ see Alison outside of her locker just before 6th period, she expected her to look a little rough, having exited her bedroom that morning with such alacrity, she thought surely the blonde wouldn't have time to create the full, Alison DiLaurentis effect. But Emily was wrong. This morning, she looked perfect. Beyond perfect. A photo of Perfect that Perfect kept on its vision board. She didn't look tired or unshowered or hungover. It made Emily feel a little self-conscious, she'd barely made it to school in a pair of sweatpants, an old t-shirt, and sneakers.

"Hey Ali," Emily greeted her.

"Hey Em, walk me to class?" Ali replied musically with her trademark smile.

"Of course," Emily said with a small smile in return.

But after that short greeting, they feel into a silence. As they walked down the hallway together, Emily glanced furtively at Ali, pondering her behavior, looking for any reaction she might've had after last night. But staring at the side of Ali's face like Emily was staring into a microscope looking for an atom, she didn't see anything. Alison was just casually looking over random students they passed, always assessing, always dissecting, nothing at all nervous or different about her behavior.

"Noel's end of year party is supposed to be epic," she said off-hand.

Emily nodded, but then her eyes fell downward, to Ali's neck, her collar bone. She felt a stab of… anger? Annoyance? Fear? She didn't know what, but Ali wasn't wearing the necklace she'd given her. And it made her feel _something_. Why did she take it off?

"Are you going?" Ali asked.

"Oh," Emily said, shaken from her thoughts. "I don't know."

"There's supposed to be catering, a band, and even foam in the pool. Everyone will be there."

But Emily didn't care who would be at Noel Kahn's stupid party. Why was she even talking about him? Why the hell did she take her necklace off?

It made her anxiety instantly spike again. Ali hadn't texted Emily at all today. And now that they were alone, she'd thought that Ali would've given her some small sign, some special treatment, that wink she did. But still nothing. Was something wrong?

Annoyed, Emily looked away, thinking about how Alison didn't seem like the same person during the day this last month. She didn't give Emily the same lingering looks, her eyes glittering as she raked over Emily's outfit, glancing at her lips. She didn't smile that mischievous, unapologetic smile that Emily had grown to love, that Emily felt like Ali saved just for her. Even Ali's general _awareness_ of her seemed different. Like how close she stood now. It could've been Spencer or Aria walking with Emily, a good two feet between them. Just a friend. No one would suspect a thing. It irritated Emily. Last night, Ali had made Emily feel like she was the only one in the world. But that seemed gone now, not a trace of it, like it had never been there at all. Like Emily had dreamed it up.

She sighed, shaking her head. She wanted to keep her secret, their secret, Ali had told Emily she wasn't ready. And Alison, after all, was the best liar and actress she'd ever met. Why would she show any sign that something, something _huge_ , had happened? It just hurt that it seemed easier for Ali to hide it than it was for Emily. She wanted terribly to touch Ali, to hold her hand, and it was taking everything for her not to reach out and take it.

Alison finally seemed to notice Emily was deep in thought and gave her a little smile.

"Where have you been lately?" she said bumping her shoulder playfully with Emily's. "I feel like it's been forever since just us have hung out."

Emily looked at her strangely. Was this a test?

"Well," Emily started, tentatively. "I'm still practicing, don't want to get out of shape. And I've been having," she paused, thinking of the best way to say it, "late nights."

"Oooh," Ali said with a suggestive lift of her eyebrows. "A secret. You know I love secrets," she added, tilting her head towards Emily. Emily just smiled shyly.

"Is it a new boy?" she asked lightly.

"Something like that," Emily said back, her smile hesitant. Maybe Ali was just playing a game.

She smiled wider lifting her eyebrows. "Come over after school today, and you can tell me all about it. See you later," she said, giving Emily a small wave.

* * *

Emily arrived at Alison's house earlier than expected, opting to take a run after school rather than go swimming. The season was over after all, and as a senior with a scholarship, there wasn't much else Emily needed to work on. Emily also desperately wanted to see Alison. Alone. And she wasn't sure if she could wait any longer. The more she'd thought about it, the more she felt like what they'd done was a big deal, something they needed to talk about. Something they shouldn't ignore.

As she approached the DiLaurentis house, still in her running gear, she took a moment to appreciate the stately wraparound porch, the tall white columns, the obsessively manicured rose bushes. Mrs. DiLaurentis was obsessed with gardening, to the point of neuroses, but Emily didn't mind. Her mother had never bothered with it, always hired help, so Emily had never had anyone to teach her. She wished she had, Emily would love to be able to keep _any_ plant alive.

She paused at the rose bushes, touching one of the soft petals, savoring their sweet scent, surprised they were still blooming this late in spring. But a creak on the front porch caused her to look up. It was Jason.

"Emily," he said in greeting, but there was an strain to it, not his normal tone of friendliness.

"Hi Jason," Emily said with a light smile. "Are you home for the weekend?"

"For the summer," he said. "I'm done with finals, so I'll be here for the next couple of months."

"Cool," Emily replied, not sure what else to say. Before she had a chance to ask if Ali was home, though, he continued.

"Emily," he said again taking a heavy breath. "The other night were you with—were you in the house?"

Emily was surprised by the question. The cagey way he was asking made Emily not want to answer honestly. She'd never been particularly close to Alison's brother, in fact, had quite disliked him when they were in school together. He seemed cleaned up now, no longer some strung out loser, but she still didn't trust him.

"No," she said simply.

"How do you know what night I'm talking about?" he asked with a wry smile.

"I don't," Emily shrugged. "I just haven't been over here in a couple of weeks."

"Oh," he said, looking dissatisfied. "Well, Ali's in the back if that's why you're here." And without another word, he went back inside the house.

"Thanks," Emily said to no one, crossing the yard. She rounded the side of the house and made her way towards Ali's back yard. Stepping out, she saw Ali relaxing in an oversized Adirondack chair, big black sunglasses on, and a magazine in her hand. She heard Emily's soft footfalls in the grass, and looked up with her distinct side smile.

"Hey Em," she said. She pulled her sunglasses down her nose, her blue eyes glinting in the setting sunlight as they scanned over Emily's outfit. "Just get finished with a run?"

"Yes," Emily said, still feeling uncomfortable from her interaction with Jason. "Your brother was giving me the third degree on your front porch."

Ali rolled her eyes. "Yeah, he hasn't been in a good mood since he got back." She flicked one of the pages in her magazine.

"What're you reading?" Emily asked conversationally.

Ali pushed her sunglasses into her blonde hair. "This month's Vogue," she said with a sigh. "I don't know why I bother, though. It's like four hundred pages and half the thing is ads."

Emily smiled back. She herself had only ever pretended to read Vogue, to appease her friends, make them think she liked things like that. But honestly she'd never read more than three lines of an article. And, Ali was right, most of it seemed like advertisements.

Ali glanced back down at her magazine, and Emily felt a little awkward just standing there by her chair, so she looked out over the yard. Like Spencer, Ali's house was on a pretty large plot, significantly larger than Emily's, and had a great green expanse of lawn. Her eyes fell on the old tree house in the back corner of the property.

"It's been forever since we've been up there," she said whimsically.

Emily wasn't sure if the treehouse had been on their property before Alison's family had bought the lot back in 5th grade or if her father had built it after. But Alison and Emily used to go up there when they were trying to get away from Jason and his skeezy friends. Or when Alison's parents were arguing, about which Emily never knew what.

"Let's go," Ali said, shooting Emily an indulgent smile.

She set the magazine down and stood up, strolling across the yard. Emily followed, looking over Ali's outfit. She was wearing a pair of flip flops, jean shorts, and a tank, already looking impossibly tan before summer had even started. She had looked different last night, paler, creamy. Emily felt the color rise in her cheeks, thinking of Ali like that again, and she willed the images away. She became self-conscious, wondering if she should've showered first, gotten a breath mint at least. Why did Ali always have to look so put together?

As they neared the tree house, Emily looked over the cutouts for windows, the plywood for walls, the simple wooden boards for the floor. Ali climbed up the rope ladder first, Emily following. As she pulled herself up through the entrance hole, she saw Ali scooting across the floor, pushing dried leaves and dead bugs aside.

Emily crouched down, too, she was taller now, even if only a little since the last time they'd been in here. It felt a bit cramped, their forearms just touched as Emily sat down next to Ali. A few moments of easy silence passed.

"It's so nice up here," Emily said, thinking aloud. "So quiet. It feels like we're not in Rosewood anymore."

She closed her eyes, listening to the birds chirping. In the distance, she could hear a lawn mower roar into life.

"I wish," Alison said, picking at a broken twig on the floor.

Emily gazed at her out of the corner of her eye. Ali had a way of acting so contradictory. Like even that statement, it reminded Emily of all the times Ali had talked about going away but then how oddly she'd said Emily would miss Rosewood when she was gone.

"Let's go away together," Ali said suddenly, her eyes bright.

"Where to?" Emily said, entertaining her.

"Anywhere," Ali suggested, pushing a loose strand of hair out of her face. "A tropical island would be nice."

"I would love to live on a beach," Emily replied excitedly. "Swimming every single day."

"Why don't we go right now?" Ali said, brushing her hand innocuously across Emily's running tights. "I could book us tickets with my dad's points. We could run away and never come back."

It sounded great. Really. But Ali's voice had a manic air to it that Emily didn't totally understand. Why would Alison ever want to run away? She didn't want to go to college? They were so close after all, why leave now? It made Emily think of all the secrets Ali had hidden from her, from everyone. Maybe there was something she wasn't telling Emily.

But it was hard to think about things like that when Ali was sitting this close to her in the tree house, suggesting that they leave on some sort of capricious, romantic trip.

"Really?" Emily asked. "You'd want to go with me?"

"Of course, Em," Ali said, finally regarding her with those deep blue eyes. "It would be fun to go with you."

Emily wasn't sure why, but it felt like the right time to do the thing she'd badly wanted to do the second the blonde had left this morning. She leaned forward and touched her lips to Ali's.

There was a moment, Emily wasn't totally sure how long, maybe a second or two, that felt suspended in time. In it, Ali kissed her back slightly, but Emily immediately, suddenly, and jarringly knew that something was wrong. Something _seriously_ wrong. Her eyes flew open, and they both seemed to pull back simultaneously.

Emily's head spun. _No,_ she thought. _That was wrong._

But what was wrong? So many things. Ali tasted different. She smelled different. She looked different, suddenly Emily could see it. She couldn't even explain it, but she just had this overwhelming feeling... this crushing realization that this wasn't the same person from last night.

Ali only regarded her cooly, a slight smirk forming at the edge of her mouth.

"Well," Ali started, looking bemused, her voice tinged faintly with derision. "I guess that's why you get so quiet when we're changing for gym."

Emily jumped up suddenly, not thinking, and slammed her head hard into one of the unfinished ceiling cross beams.

"Fuck!" she cried out.

Alison looked at her with wide eyes before a smile played across her features. "I have _never_ heard you use that word."

Emily only stared back at her. Yes, she _had_ heard her use that word. Last night, she'd heard it. Emily had said it after Alison had made her… _Maybe I'm rubbing off on you_ , she'd said.

 _What the fuck._

Emily looked at Ali like she was an alien. This was _not_ Alison. Or... Alison was not Alison? But of course it was, Emily thought again frantically. She'd just been sitting on her back deck. Jason had told Emily she was there. _This_ was Alison. Right? Emily rubbed the back of her head, breathing hard, mind swimming. She couldn't keep her thoughts straight.

"Em," Ali said, her smile fading, a look of concern replacing it. "Calm down."

"I have to go," Emily quickly responded, lunging for the rope ladder.

Ali watched her in a startled way, but Emily didn't care at the moment. She felt like her mind was exploding.

 _No. It couldn't be._

"One question," Emily said, pausing half way through the exit hole. "What is your Patronus?"

"Patronus?" Alison asked quizzically. "What is that, a type of drink?"

Emily's jaw clenched painfully. She didn't care if Ali was the greatest actress in the world, she wasn't lying now.

Emily continued down the ladder as fast as she could and dashed across the grass. How was it even POSSIBLE? She thought her brain was going to melt. It occurred to her that the Patronus question wasn't enough. Maybe Ali was just messing with her, torturing her like she always had. But her taste, her kiss, that couldn't lie. It wasn't the same.

She ran back to her house, full speed, before she had time to process one more mind bending thought. And not just running, sprinting. Like she was in a 100 meter race while someone held a gun to her head. When Emily got home, she flew up the stairs, banging the door shut behind her. She pressed her back against the wood, her eyes screwed shut, her mind moving faster than she'd been running.

If that wasn't Ali who _was_ Ali from the night before? And from the night before that? Was Ali crazy? Did she have split personalities that Emily had sometimes felt like she did? Was she a body snatcher? A robot? Emily wanted to tear her hair out of her own head. Maybe _she_ was crazy. Maybe none of it had happened at all. Maybe she'd had some sort of mental break.

She pushed away from the door, pacing frantically across her room, her hand pressed against her mouth. After the fourth or fifth cross, she heard her sneaker catch the front of something that crinkled, like crumpled paper. Something on the floor. She felt dread settle immediately over her. Somehow, she knew she wouldn't like what she found. Regardless, she removed her sneaker and leaned over to pick it up.

It was some sort of bracelet, the hard plastic cool to the touch. Emily flipped it over, reading the writing:

 _ **Courtney DiLaurentis. Radley Sanitarium. Patient #: 55678224**_

Emily read it again. And again. And then she thought she might throw up.

* * *

Ali needed to get the fuck out of town. She wasted no time in heading straight for the roof that night, rolling out the rope ladder against the slate gray wall. She gazed down, wondering if there was a way she could take it with her. But she didn't think she could unhook it from the roof at the bottom. She'd have to try, though, she didn't want it to be traced back to Emily somehow when the hospital staff finally found it.

She climbed down and, somehow after yanking the thing in every single direction with varying degrees of force, she managed to unfasten the ladder from the ledge. It came hurtling down right at her face, and Ali barely got out of the way in time as it sliced into the ground. She rolled it up, none too happy to be hoisting its heavy ass all the way back to Emily's house.

She made sure to stop at the hollow tree, which was a lot more difficult to find at night than during the day. She immediately checked her burner phone, seeing one text. From Emily. She sighed, opening it, preparing for the worst.

 **Emily to UNKNOWN:** "A", you left your red coat. Can you come over tonight?

She shouldn't go. It was too risky. She needed to meet up with Caleb and take the first bus out of Rosewood. But… what if her bracelet was at Emily's? What if she found it? What if it was there and she hadn't found it yet? If she did go, maybe Ali could find it first. If Emily found it later, it might give the cops a heads up on what she'd been up to. They'd be able to find her a lot quicker. Also, she did need to give the rope ladder back. But how would she explain it? Maybe she could talk to her. Even tell her the truth.

No. She wouldn't tell her the truth. But she would go there first to look for the bracelet. _Yeah, that's why_ , she thought _._

 **UNKNOWN to Emily:** I'll be there at 12, xo -A

She looked at the "xo" feeling a stab of pain in her heart. She grumbled, opening up a new text, typing Caleb's name irritably.

 **UNKNOWN to Caleb:** How long does it take to print a piece of plastic?

 **Caleb to UNKNOWN:** This ID scans, it takes longer. But it's ready. Same spot tonight 11.

Ali slowly made her way to the church, feeling like a pack donkey under the weight of her backpack and the rope ladder. Maybe that's what she'd do after this. Go live at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. She was pretty sure she could hike a thousand miles after this month's past misadventures.

When she approached the church, she didn't see Caleb under the church tree, the spot he'd been at before. She dropped the rope ladder there, looking around. She noticed the back door was ajar. She entered, looking around at some low burning, lit candles. The placed smelled like old people, she didn't like it. She moved up to the podium looking at the stained glass above it, the moon slanting through it, giving it an eerie glow.

"Courtney?" she heard a male voice say behind her.

She turned slowly, her stomach sinking, to see Caleb with an annoying look of self-satisfaction on his face. She tried not to betray herself, opting to look back at him blankly.

"Right?" he asked again, the look turning into a full blown obnoxious smirk. If that's what Ali looked like when she smirked, she resolved never to do it again. Ali's blank look turned into a glare.

"I wouldn't have believed it if Alison herself had told me," he said, walking past the rows of pews, circling around her. Alison's eyes followed him, narrowing. "I'm looking at you, and I don't even believe it."

"You don't know anything," she said flatly, appreciating the flicker of anger she saw in response.

"I'd say I know a lot more than most," he stated back with assurance.

Ali continued to watch him like she might watch an unusual breed of insect, carefully masking her fear.

"It wasn't easy. I searched every hospital in the state for something suspicious. But I finally found 'Jessica DiLaurentis' on the board of Radley Sanitarium. Not the type of hospital I was thinking of, but definitely a hospital."

"Congratulations, Caleb," Ali said bitingly. "Did you want a reward? A slap on the back?"

"No, Courtney—" he said, smiling sarcastically.

"My name," she interrupted him slowly. "Is not Courtney."

"Oh, right. Your file said you prefer Alison."

"You read my file, too? I would think you hackers would have more respect for privacy," she spat.

"It's my business to know my clients."

"Well, then you're not doing a very good job."

"That's what you wanted, wasn't it? To get that erased?" Caleb suggested. "A clean slate?"

Ali didn't answer.

"Tell me why I shouldn't turn you in," he continued, leaning on a pew in front of her. "I'm guessing you're not supposed to be out of that hospital trying to buy fake ID's."

"And I'm guessing no one knows about your little side business," Ali snapped back. "Fake ID's that scan? Sounds like a federal offense."

"It would be if you got one from me. Which you haven't yet."

Ali considered him for a moment, weighing her options, shifting to one leg, her hip coming out.

"You're new here, huh?" she said, her voice silky sweet.

"What makes you say that?" Caleb responded defensively.

Ali made a show of looking him up and down.

"You don't exactly look like a typical Rosewood boy. I'm guessing you were a transfer. Plus, I don't remember you."

"And why would you remember me? Unless you've been getting out of there a lot more than this, you've been in that hospital for eight years."

"I, myself, have only been in there for four."

"You really are crazy," he said, rolling his eyes and blowing out a sigh.

"Look," she started roughly. "My sister was in there originally. She switched places with me in 8th grade. _My_ name is Alison. That's why my file says I prefer it, because it's my actual god damn name."

Caleb merely lifted his eyebrows skeptically.

"My point is," she started again, through clenched teeth. "I'm guessing you don't come from money. I'm guessing you do this type of work not because you want to but because you have to."

He looked at her angrily.

"I don't judge, Caleb," she said, hands up. "I can understand it. You must've seen they did electrotherapy on me after my 'relapse.' You probably saw that they diagnosed me as a paranoid schizophrenic, that I've been on every med under the sun. So, I called myself Courtney again. Like you, I know what it's like to do what you have to to survive."

Caleb looked more convinced, less angry, less skeptical, giving Ali the go ahead to keep going.

"What you may not know is what it's like to be abandoned by your parents," she continued. "Your siblings, your friends, your doctors, the system?"

Caleb clenched his jaw, averting his gaze. "I know something about it."

She smiled ruefully. She was grateful that she and this Caleb had more in common than she'd thought. Maybe it meant he would give her what she wanted. She just had to close the deal.

"If you're going through hell, keep going," she said wistfully.

"Winston Churchill," he responded faintly, still looking away, lost in his thoughts.

"That's right," Ali said, trying to hide that she was impressed.

"So," he said, sighing, kicking at invisible dust on the ground. "What's your point? What do you want?"

Ali felt like she had him now.

"My point is, I just want to get out of here. I want to get as far away from Alison and Courtney DiLaurentis as possible. I just want a fresh start. And I'd do anything for that ID. But, I'm hoping, that you'll just give it to me."

"And why would I do that? Why would I believe anything you're saying?"

"If you want proof, here," she leaned over her backpack and pulled the bottle of whiskey out of her bag. She pressed all five fingers hard on the glass and handed it to Caleb. "Compare that to the hospital fingerprints they took when she was first admitted. They won't match."

He took the bottle, looking confused. "If you have proof, then why are you still in there?"

"My parents don't believe me. They think I'm lying."

He seemed to be considering it, looking at the whiskey.

"Booze is on me," she said sweetly.

"Thanks," he said back sarcastically.

"Does Courtney know?" Ali asked, unable to hide the fear in her voice.

"No," Caleb replied, looking at her carefully. "You know, I ran into her at school. She didn't remember our conversation. That's how I knew something was up. She's a real gem."

"Tell me about it," Ali said angrily. "She's trapped me in that place and wants me to rot there. And I think you know she's capable of it."

"I certainly do. Tell me, are you two anything alike?"

"As you can probably see, we have our similarities," she said motioning to her face. "But the buck stops there."

Caleb sighed, Ali was becoming impatient.

"Please give me the ID, Caleb. You said it scans? Just deactivate it if you find out I'm wrong."

"Does she know?" he asked after a long beat.

"Who?"

"Emily, she came here with you the other night."

It made Ali instantly uncomfortable. She didn't think she'd be able to get away with a lie here.

"No," she said reluctantly.

Caleb shifted, getting that stubborn look again.

"Why does she need to know?" she snarled. "I'm leaving town."

"Emily's a friend of mine. I don't want to lie to her. So, either you tell her or I will."

"Fine," Ali snapped. "I'll tell her."

He pulled the ID out of his pocket and held it out to her. When she reached for it, he pulled it back. She glared at him.

"I'm going to talk to her about it tomorrow. And if I find out you lied… I'll know exactly where to point the cops to find you."

Ali snatched the ID before Caleb could pull it back again. "Fine," she said.

She zipped it into her backpack, before standing again. She shot Caleb one last look before she pushed out of the church double doors. She'd been wrong. The church was not quaint, and she wouldn't miss it.

* * *

Emily heard a sharp rap at her window, and she almost fell out of her window seat. She looked fearfully through the glass, and there she was. Alison. Or Courtney. Whoever. She was really there. A part of Emily had been absolutely terrified that she didn't exist, that she'd made her up. That even the bracelet she'd found wasn't real. It was all too strange. Twins? She wasn't sure if she could even believe it without seeing the _other_ again. She'd felt like she was going crazy in the last several hours, she'd thought of so many angry things she wanted say, but suddenly none of them came to mind. She simply felt a wave of relief wash over her as she looked back into that beautiful, heart shaped face. That face's existence meant that _she_ wasn't crazy.

She quickly moved to open the window.

"Oh my god, Em, your face," Ali easily laughed.

"Did you—" Emily said, pointing at the branches behind the blonde as she climbed through the window.

"Oh yeah," she said, her eyes wide but proud of herself. "I almost fell out of that tree like George of the fucking jungle."

And this was the person Emily had come to know so well. The snarky version of day Alison. The cursing one. The daring one. The one who only had eyes for Emily. This was… Courtney.

"God, Alison, you didn't need to do that," Emily said, trying to keep up her act. "We have a front door, you know." She handed Ali a hand towel to wipe the dirt off her hands.

"Where's the romance in that?" she asked coyly, accepting the towel and lifting a hand to her chest, like a dramatic stage actress.

"What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Emily is the sun," her voice rang out in the room in a haughty British accent. Emily couldn't help but smile. She loved British accents, she'd never heard Ali do one before. Well, at least, the girl she'd known for four years, the one at school, had never done one before. Had that Alison ever even read Romeo and Juliet?

Ali pulled down her hoodie, revealing a head of thick blonde hair, her pearly white smile still shining at Emily as she grabbed the heel of her sneaker, sitting down on the window bench. As Emily watched her take one shoe off and then the other, she looked at her. Really _looked_ at her. God, how had she never seen it before? All the differences were there. Her eyes _were_ bluer. At a glance, her hair seemed like it was the same dazzling shade of blonde, but now Emily saw that it was darker, longer, cut more bluntly. Even her gaze was different, she noticed as Ali continued to look at her. Stronger. More predatory somehow, but hypnotizing, like a panther. She smiled rakishly as she looked over Emily's outfit.

"Silver pineapples?" she said, snapping Emily out of her thoughts.

"You like them?" Emily asked, after a baffling second, having forgotten completely about the patterned pajamas she was wearing.

"Yeah, I kind of want to take them off," Ali said in a lower tone, crossing over to her, her eyebrow arched as she toyed with the hem of Emily's button down shirt. "I was hoping this was a booty call," she continued playfully, tilting her head to the side and locking eyes with the brunette. Emily couldn't control her blush.

As much as she wanted to deny it, as angry as she was after _everything_ that had happened, Emily couldn't help but admit that being in the blonde's presence was overpowering, especially after last night. Twin or not, they'd slept together, and Emily couldn't get the images of Ali's beautiful, naked body out of her mind. Of the way Ali looked at her, so sexy, of her biting her lip. It fogged over Emily's anger, her plan like an intoxicating cloud. Like Emily was in Wizard of Oz in the poppy field. But, just like the movie, the cloud was noxious. A trap. This Ali was not who Emily had thought she'd been. From the very first night she'd met her on the DiLaurentis porch. This was someone totally different. A stranger.

Emily tried to close her mind, focusing on what she needed to do. But Ali made it difficult by taking a small step closer, the faint fragrance of vanilla invading Emily's senses. How had she not noticed _that_? Ali hadn't smelled like that at all in the tree house. Had never smelled like that in four years. Emily felt so stupid. She was so lost in the feelings of foolishness, of anger, that she forgot to quip back at Ali. Or smile.

"What's wrong, Em?" she said, her kittenish expression faltering as she took in Emily's expression. Her hand moved from the hem of Emily's shirt to her cheek. Emily wanted to pull away, but she couldn't. She hated that she loved the way her soft fingers felt. "You look pale."

"Yeah," Emily said shaking her head, and taking a step away from her. "I just had a—" she struggled to come up with a quick lie, "—nightmare earlier."

"You were sleeping?" Ali asked, looking slightly hurt when Emily pulled away, letting her hand fall back to her side awkwardly. "In the middle of the day?"

"Yeah, swimming has been really hard."

She sighed. "I wish I could watch you."

She looked like she wanted to say more, but stopped herself, her pink lips pulling in a tight line. It reminded Emily of the several times she'd seen her do this, a montage of each one running through her mind. How she'd stop talking abruptly at the storage unit. The kissing rock. The school. About her patronus in Emily's car. It occurred to her now that Ali had stopped because she didn't want to get caught lying. It made Emily bristle slightly.

"You can, you know. You could come watch," she said, wanting to test Ali. "I have a practice meet with the freshmen this weekend."

It was the first time that Emily caught a sad look flicker across her features. Had she always missed it before? But before she could analyze it too deeply, Ali turned away, hiding her face.

"Maybe I will," she said quietly, her back to Emily. She moved over to Emily's desk, looking at her open textbook.

"Chemistry's a bitch, huh," she said simply, and the question that had been plaguing Emily's thoughts non stop since she had come home jumped into her mind once again: who was 'Courtney?' Did she go to school? Did she study chemistry? Why was she at Radley? How long had she been there? Why did no one know she existed?

"You wanted to talk to me?" 'Courtney' said while turning a page passively, without turning.

"Yeah, you left your coat," Emily replied, holding out the black box from the night before. Alison smiled, taking it and putting it into her backpack gingerly. The thing seemed to be bulging, what all did she have in there?

"And I found something else," Emily continued.

Her head snapped up, confirming to Emily that Ali knew she'd lost her hospital tag. But Emily was only holding a gold bracelet, some jewelry she'd found in her dresser. It was just a test.

"Is this yours?" she said.

"No," Ali replied, her brow furrowed.

"Oh," Emily said. "I thought it might be yours. It's not mine. I found it this morning."

"You have a lot of girl traffic through this room, Em?" Ali said teasingly, but she did look a little angry when she said it, a little jealous.

"No, Ali," Emily said back, somewhat defensively. "It's probably just my mom's."

Ali moved back to Emily, running her fingers over the cool metal of the bracelet. She looked up at Emily, her blue eyes piercing. Emily suddenly realized how close they were standing.

"Em," Ali said, and her tone made Emily's heart skip a beat. She was terrified suddenly that Ali knew she knew.

"I have to tell you something," she said, her voice wavering. "But I'm afraid. And I have to leave soon."

But where did she have to go? Emily couldn't help but wonder desperately how 'Courtney' came and went from Radley. Part of her wouldn't be surprised if she followed her to the downstairs wardrobe, where she stepped inside, and disappeared into some sort of wormhole.

Before Emily knew what Ali was doing, she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips against Emily's. Emily didn't respond back immediately, she had been sure she didn't want to kiss Ali again, had been forcing herself not to react to her tonight, to repress the confused feelings she had for the blonde. But Ali moved her mouth, slightly, her lips shifting to take Emily's bottom lip, and something snapped. Or clicked. Suddenly, Emily wanted to identify exactly what it was that she felt for this Alison imposter, this twin.

Ali groaned into Emily's mouth as Emily pushed her up against the closet door, nimbly unzipping her hoodie, pushing it off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. She moved her hands over Ali's sides under her shirt, a choked moan reverberating in her throat as Emily pressed over each rib bone. She undulated under Emily, just as soft, just as warm as she had been last night.

The way she tasted, the way she smelled, the way she kissed; it occurred to Emily that all of these things she'd come to memorize about Alison, were actually about this person, this _other_. And that they were the only things she knew for a fact about her. She didn't know if anything else Ali had told her was true.

Ali moved her hands into Emily's hair as they continued to kiss, her tongue sweeping into the brunette's mouth, massaging her tongue in an almost sinfully pleasurable way. It made Emily's heart ache. She couldn't ignore that there was a connection with 'Courtney.' A connection that had been painfully absent in the treehouse earlier, when she'd kissed Real Ali. Something unnameable. Something Emily was hooked on.

This Ali's fingers threaded along her scalp, to the back of her head when Emily felt them graze her bruise from earlier, sending a sharp stab of pain through her skull and neck. She pulled back, wincing.

"Did I hurt you?" Ali asked, touching the spot gingerly, feeling the bump, her blue eyes so close they looked electric, alive. "What happened?"

"I—I hit it earlier," Emily started. "In the pool."

Ali looked so concerned, even a little protective. It was a far cry from how Real Ali had reacted earlier, basically laughing at Emily when she'd hit her head. But was this Ali only pretending to care? Had she been pretending to care about Emily the whole time? This Ali had kissed her so many times, touched her so many times. Why? What could she possibly be getting out of it?

Emily clutched her tightly, because it hurt to think about it, about being used, and it was hard for her to hide it. She didn't think she was going to react like this, that she was going to feel this way. She'd thought it was over, that knowing the lie, she'd feel nothing. But she was feeling a lot. She'd thought she'd never want to see her again, but now that she was here, she didn't want to let her go. She wanted to cling to the delusion.

She'd forgotten her hands were still just above Ali's waist, still under her shirt, dangerously close to her backside. Her grip caused their lower halves to press tightly against each other.

"Maybe this was a booty call after all," Ali whispered flirtily, her eyes dark, but still laughing.

Her arms were draped around Emily's neck comfortably, one finger curling in a strand of Emily's black hair, her back still against the closet door. She bit her lip slightly, and Emily struggled not to attack her with kisses again. She was giving Emily a look Real Ali had definitely never given her, maybe never even wanted to. It was a look of attraction and want. Maybe even love. Emily suddenly remembered what Real Ali had said back in the tree house, _that's why you get so quiet when we're changing for gym._ The mocking look she'd had on her face. Is that how Ali would've received what she'd told 'Courtney' that night so many weeks ago? Would she have countered her love with ridicule?

Emily's eyes caught on shiny metal, the necklace around Ali's neck. She _hadn't_ taken it off. But that didn't mean it meant anything to her . Maybe she was as good an actress as her sister.

"You said you had something to tell me?" Emily asked slowly.

Emily watched Ali's expression change, watched her swallow uncomfortably. She didn't take her arms from around Emily's neck, though. Instead, Emily felt her squeeze the back of her neck tightly. She averted her gaze, and Emily was shocked and even a little frightened when she thought she saw tears in her eyes.

"Ali?"

"It's just this—this is really hard. I should've told you yesterday—before—before…" she broke off.

"What is it?" Emily asked, trying to remain calm.

"It's just that, I didn't want—I don't want to say goodbye. And…" she said, pulling her hands away from Emily's neck, shifting out of her arms to face the window, a hand over her mouth.

Emily had never seen her like this, had never seen 'Courtney' like this. She seemed so vulnerable. But Emily still didn't know if she could trust her or if this was an act.

"Why do you have to say goodbye?" Emily asked, feeling her hands starting to tremble, feeling cold without the blonde pressed close against her.

"I think," she said, turning slowly back to Emily. "I think I'm in lo—" but she stopped, her expression changing again. A bright blue light had flashed across the room, interrupting her. Then a red one.

Ali turned back to the window, putting a hand on the frame, as the lights continued to strobe across the walls. Emily knew she was seeing the police car down at her curb. She'd called them, told them to be here, after Ali had confirmed that she would visit at midnight.

Emily thought Ali would say something, but she just watched as an officer exited the vehicle. Emily couldn't see, but she heard the door slam. She knew they'd be at her front door soon.

Ali turned back to Emily, and Emily saw there were actual tears on her face, rolling down her cheek. Emily felt suddenly like she might've made a mistake. That she should've talked to Ali/Courtney first. When she'd first called the police earlier, she'd been in a rage. She'd thought, _this person lied to me. This person pretended to be someone else. This person hurt me. This person is crazy and needs to go back where they belong._ But being with her, Ali didn't seem crazy at all, not tonight, not during any of the times Emily had spent with her. But that didn't change that she'd pretended to be Emily's Real Ali. She'd slept with Emily as Real Ali. And that was indefensible.

Right?

Emily sniffed, feeling her eyes get wet, trying to hold it back. She pulled Ali's real bracelet, the one from the hospital, out of her pocket, and held it out to her. Ali simply looked at it, closing her eyes slowly, shaking her head in a sad sort of way.

"Why didn't you say something?" she asked.

"Why didn't you?" Emily countered. Ali's lower lip quivered at that, and she turned away again.

Emily continued to hold the tag out uneasily, even though it was becoming clear that the blonde was not going to take it. She hadn't known how 'Courtney' would react. She had thought she might be angry or act wildly. She was in Radley after all. But instead, it was heartbreaking. Ali just looked really sad. It physically hurt Emily to look at her.

"I'm guessing that police car is for me," Ali said, rubbing her eyes, wiping her tears away, a harder look on her face.

Emily let her arm drop awkwardly, looking away.

"I know I've done… a lot," she said, her tone different, shaky, distraught. "But I want to ask one more favor from you."

Emily glanced up, guarded.

"Could you please keep my backpack?" she started, a desperate edge to her voice.

Emily didn't move for it, crossing her arms, not sure what to do. Why should she help her at all?

"There's evidence in there," Ali continued. "It could get you in trouble, too."

Emily still didn't make a move.

"Please, Emily."

"Okay," Emily said finally. The last thing she needed was for Stanford to hear about some sort of weird situation with the Rosewood police.

She picked the bag up from the ground where Ali had left it. It was unexpectedly heavy. She put it inside her window seat storage and, right as she closed the lid, she heard a violent pounding on the front door.

"Thank you," Ali said hollowly, crossing the room towards Emily's door.

Emily could see her wipe her face again as she followed Ali down the stairs towards the door. Ali stood in front of it for a moment, taking a deep breath, pinning back her shoulders slightly, like she was preparing herself for an execution squad.

"Your rope ladder is on the back steps," she said, without looking at Emily.

Then, she opened door.

"Courtney DiLaurentis?" a tall cop with a thick mustache said, his hand resting lightly on his holster. His partner stood behind him with a flashlight, curiously peering at the two of them.

Emily watched Ali clench her jaw, rolling her eyes slightly. "Yeah."

"Come with us. You know you're not supposed to be here. We'll take you back."

"So kind of you," she spat back, slightly under her breath. He took her by the arm, but she didn't resist as he angled her off of Emily's porch, and down the steps.

Halfway across the yard, she turned to look at Emily, who was still standing, shell shocked, in her doorway.

"I'm sorry, Emily," she called out. "For everything."

Each word hit Emily painfully. But the cop continued to shuffle Ali towards the back of the car. She stepped inside and watched Emily through the glass as the cruiser pulled away. When she finally turned away, a shelf of her blonde hair obscured her face. Then, she was gone, and the street was quiet.

Emily went back inside, feeling empty, like a black void was slowly creeping into her heart. When she reentered her room, she saw Alison's black hoodie still on the ground by her closet. She crossed over to it, crouching down on her knees to pick it up. She brought it to her face, breathing in Ali's vanilla fragrance, and suddenly she realized that this nightmare of a day was real. And, for the first time, she finally allowed herself to cry, her tears dampening the black, cotton fabric.

 **Is that all Emily has to say to Ali? Will Mr. and Mrs. DiLaurentis tell Courtney that Ali was not in Radley?  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** I'm sorry about the agony of the last chapter! But I hope it hurt so good. Also, apologies if there's any confusion with the twins' names. Essentially, I'll refer to Courtney as Real Ali and Alison as Ali, other Ali, or 'Courtney.' Once it's clear who is who to Emily, I'll refer to them correctly by their original names. Thank you again for sharing the story and for all of the reviews! I've had a terrible day, so it'll be nice to hear all of your lovely voices.

* * *

Ali lay awake in her bed, her hands covering her face.

 _Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck._

If she could say that word five thousand more times, it still wouldn't be enough. It was the third day straight she'd woken up this way. Who knew what time it was, but the sun wasn't up yet. It didn't matter. Only one thing did.

She'd lost. All that she did. Just to be back where she'd started. Again.

 _Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck,_ the words continued in her mind.

Her life really was just some cruel version of Chutes and Ladders. Because here she was, at the bottom of her Everest, having once again climbed so high, having almost beaten the game, only to fall back down. Except this time, her slip n' slide descent was somehow worse. Covered in razors. Because not only was she without everything else, she was also without Emily.

She hadn't been sleeping, she hadn't been eating. She'd barely left her room. She was attending the minimum amount of activities and therapy short of being written up. Not that it mattered. They'd already revoked several of her rights. The primary one being her out privileges. They had also threatened to put her in restraints at night, but they had settled instead on a guard occasionally patrolling her hall. She had a feeling this was because Eddie had argued against it for her. She didn't know why he liked her, but she was grateful for it. She'd been restrained before, and it was unpleasant.

The one privilege they didn't suspend was her visitation, she was sure, because they'd assumed her parents would come and talk to her about why she was at her sister's friend's house. But they didn't. The staff had said that they'd alerted her household but still, no call, no visit. Ali wasn't sure if this made her relieved or even more depressed.

And she was depressed. Alison DiLaurentis didn't do crying. Not usually, at least. She did on her first night in Radley, a strange place, with strange sounds and shadows. Alone in the dark. She did weeks later, missing her friends, her parents, her room, her house. She did jacked up on drugs when she'd thought, for a split second, that everything had just been one terrible dream. She did in a rage when they'd taken her mattress away, her door off its hinges, throwing the biggest fit anyone in Radley had ever seen. She cried years later when she'd been deposited back in the place she worked so hard to get out of, defeated once again by her sister. But Alison could always limit those instances to one hand. And, now, she had to use two. Because she cried that night at Emily's window. And she struggled to stop herself from doing it every day since.

She threw herself out of bed, not caring what time it was. She opened the door, checking the hall. The guard was there looking at her with beady eyes.

"Just going to the bathroom," she said.

He nodded. She doubted he really gave a shit.

She softly padded to the communal bath, to the showers. A shower seemed like a good way to waste time, though the water was always luke warm at Radley, like some sort of extra form of punishment. But Ali guessed she should be grateful it wasn't cold. There was nothing she hated more than a cold shower.

She disrobed and moved under the tepid stream, not making many movements in the way of actually bathing herself. She just stood there. Wishing that she had taken a hot shower during her few weeks of freedom. Wishing she had taken a shower with Emily.

"Ugh," she said to no one.

She felt tears threaten her once more. If you cried in the shower, was it really crying? _Yes,_ she said back to herself. _And it's still weak._

She applied her cleanser, washing her face, able to keep her tears at bay. It was easier not to cry if she focused on feeling angry. And she did feel angry at everything and everyone. At her parents, Courtney, and Jason. At the memory of Emily turning her in. At those fucking cops putting her in that car in front of Emily.

But Emily didn't deserve her anger, not as much as the others at least. Ali could forgive her. She would've done the same thing if she'd found out a _mental patient_ had lied to her. It's why she didn't run when she'd seen the flashing lights. She knew she'd taken a risky gamble, and she'd lost. Creating a scene would've only made things worse. Emily would've never kept her backpack with everything she'd ever treasured inside of it. Now, she could only hope and pray that Emily didn't give it to Courtney or tell the police anything else. That's what woke her up every morning: the phantom sounds of footsteps coming to haul her away to a different mental hospital, even farther from Rosewood. If her parents thought she might hurt Courtney, they'd ship her off to another state.

Ali had always thought that she had nothing more to lose, but she'd been wrong. She'd lost her perfect, fabulous life. She'd lost her name. She'd lost Emily. And now she could lose Radley, a place she thought she'd _never_ thought she'd give three fucks about. But she knew Radley better than a family member, better than a friend. She knew its every hallway, its every secret. It was almost like an extension of herself at this point. And it would be terribly painful to have that extension amputated.

She turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around herself. She looked at her reflection in the grimy mirror, her face, Courtney's face. She touched her angular jaw. These things that made Ali devastated at the prospect of losing were things Courtney had but hardly wanted. Courtney didn't care about Ali's name, Ali's life, Emily, or Radley. About the only thing, it seemed, that they both wanted was their freedom. And Courtney had it.

 _Fucking bitch._

But dwelling on that would fix nothing. Her finger fell to her lips, and she closed her eyes, trying to focus on the only positive part of that night. Emily had still kissed her, even when she knew she wasn't her sister. It was hard not to hope that maybe everything wasn't over yet. Even if it was the same type of hope that had caused her so much despair in the past.

She went back to her room, laying in her bed like a dead body again, hoping her shower had killed some time before she could get breakfast. When, finally, the first glimpses of sun shafted through her window, she dressed, and walked down the hall.

She passed the nurse's station, deliberately not making eye contact.

"Courtney," a voice called to her. She sighed. "Don't forget your medication."

Ali turned back towards the desk with pronounced resignation. The nurse manning the station handed her a paper cup. Ali looked down at the pills, like she was looking at a cup of spiders.

"What if I don't want to?" she said with a sarcastic turn of her lips.

The nurse shot her a disapproving look.

"And why not?"

"Maybe because I'm not a paranoid schizophrenic, Betty."

"Well, how would a paranoid schizophrenic know they're not one?"

Ali sighed. She just didn't have the fight in her today to do any ground breaking banter.

"Touche," she said, lifting the cup to her mouth.

"Your dosage has been increased, by the way."

Ali paused, leveling Betty with a hard gaze.

"Why?"

"You know why," she said.

Ali said nothing in return, taking the pills and swishing with water. She showed Betty her tongue.

"Speaking of, how _was_ your night time escapade?" Betty asked.

"You heard about that?" Alison responded dejectedly.

"Of course, honey, the whole hospital heard about it. We've got a pool going on how you got out."

Ali looked away, not relishing the idea of being the center of Radley gossip. How far she had fallen, indeed.

"Help me win $20," Betty continued, motioning towards Alison. "How did you do it?"

Ali looked back up at her, relenting with a sideways smirk. She lifted her finger to her lips.

"Only two can keep a secret if one of them is dead, Betty. I don't want to have to kill you."

"That's so sweet of you," Betty said cynically.

"I'm a sweetheart," Ali said back with her trademark smile.

Betty rolled her eyes, well acquainted with this con from Ali.

"Did you get your Cheetos?"

"No," Alison said with a sigh. "It had a different ending than I'd hoped."

"You mean, ending up back in here?"

"Exactly," Ali replied.

Betty leaned forward, her elbows on the flat top of the station, a concerned look on her face. "We really are trying to help you, Courtney."

Alison struggled not to roll her eyes. It wasn't that the nurses were so bad. She actually believed that, sometimes at least, they really thought they were doing right by her. Even if they weren't at all. However, the doctors, they were the worst. They saw her like a number, a case file. They never remembered her or her story. They didn't see her as a person.

"I know," Ali said, smiling weakly because, again, throwing a fit wouldn't get her anywhere. It was funny what a hard lesson that had been for Ali to learn.

"Now go watch a movie or something," Betty added, taking the paper the cup from Alison. "You look tired."

Ali resisted the urge to make a face. _Thanks a lot_ , she thought bitterly. But she doubted the nurse was wrong. She probably looked like shit.

When she headed back down the hallway, glancing back to make sure she was in the clear, she spit the pills back out and slipped them into her pocket. She had so many at this point, she could start a pharmacy.

As she passed by the rec room, she saw _"_ Clueless _"_ was playing. She liked that movie, it oddly felt like a lighter version of her abysmal life. She plopped down on the couch with with three catatonics, turned up the volume, and felt right at home.

* * *

The rest of the weekend passed in a blur for Emily. There were many hours she spent in the dark rooms of her house, the TV as the only source of light. And on mute because she wasn't watching it anyway. She just slept. For what felt like 24 hours straight. And, before she knew it, her mom was back from visiting her father, turning all the lights on in the house, banging pots and dishes around in the kitchen, as if nothing whatsoever was wrong in the world. As if Emily's life hadn't been turned upside down on Friday night. Pam Fields did, however, look at Emily as if she might've contracted the flu. Emily just said she was tired. Because she was. Of everything.

Chief most, answering her texts and calls. She didn't bother replying to any messages over the weekend. There were a number from Real Ali. There were also a few cryptic messages from Caleb and an odd text or two from the other girls. Emily found herself wishing there were messages from 'Courtney', instead, from _U_ _nknown_. But she knew that was impossible when she had Unknown's cell phone right there in her window seat. She would never hear from _her_ again.

It was painful to think about. And confusing. Why should she want to hear from her? Emily was the one who'd turned her in. Emily was the one who'd made sure the blonde couldn't contact her again. What changed? Nothing. Emily desperately tried to repress everything about it, she couldn't handle it.

And now that Monday had arrived, it was a real ordeal to prepare for school. She hated it. It was almost like acknowledging life beyond the darkness of her bedroom somehow meant that all that had happened had been real. It had been easier to hide. Not waltz out into the daylight and go to school like any other Monday.

But she did it, thankful for small miracles. Even though, not twenty feet inside the Rosewood Day double doors, she heard a demanding, hauntingly familiar voice from behind her.

"Emily," it said.

God, could she catch no breaks?

Emily picked up her pace. She did not want to see Real Ali, not today. Not after kissing her in the tree house. Not after the police carted away her sister on Friday night. Her _secret_ sister.

"Emily!" she heard Ali say again more forcefully, but the brunette pushed through several unsuspecting classmates and rounded the corner.

Emily glanced at the girl's bathroom, but Ali would surely think to find her there. Instead she opened a utility closet on her left and shut the door behind her. It was dark and musty, but after a few seconds, she could hear the distinct click of heels, the pause, and the door of the girl's bathroom being thrown open. Emily silently prayed, hoping Alison wouldn't have enough time to check the storage room because, honestly, the last thing she needed was for Ali to find and trap her in a closet.

But then the bell rang. She heard the heels emerge, could've sworn she heard a huge sigh, and listened to Alison depart down the hallway.

Emily was extremely relieved. She was sure Alison's parents would've told her about her sister's escape and exactly where she'd been picked up by the cops. She did NOT want to talk to Real Ali about it. Wouldn't she have to tell her everything? How would she explain kissing her sister? Sleeping with her? Not to mention, Emily couldn't bear the idea that Alison would know the full extent of Emily's crush on her. Would Alison ever talk to her again? It was all so weird and embarrassing and mortifying. If Alison did keeping talking to her, Emily was sure she would hold it over her forever.

Emily sighed, creeping the door open to check the empty halls. She should've pretended to have the flu like her mom thought, she regretted coming to school at all. Because Emily knew, if Ali was anything, she was determined and would successfully manage to corner her eventually. Maybe it was best if she just went home.

As if proving Emily exactly right, she felt her phone vibrate several times in quick succession as she stepped out of the closet. Uncomfortably, she slid her phone open.

 **From Alison to Emily:** Emily  
 **From Alison to Emily:** Where are you?  
 **From Alison to Emily:** Why are you avoiding me?  
 **From Alison to Emily:** I want to talk to you.

Though Ali was probably just trying to be a good friend, it made Emily annoyed. Emily knew she'd have to talk to her eventually, but why was everything always on Alison's terms? Emily needed time to process everything, why couldn't she have it? She might need weeks, months even. And, also, Emily was kind of mad at Alison. Alison had a _SISTER_. That Ali _never_ told her about. An identical twin! How could Emily have ever considered them best friends at all? What else had she lied about?

Emily wasn't sure which hurt more. That her best friend had lied to her or that her twin had lied about being her.

Not having spent even ten minutes there, Emily promptly exited the school, opting to skip after all. But, unfortunately, she'd forgotten that she she'd chosen to walk rather than drive. She frowned, feeling inconvenienced by her own lack of forethought, and chose the path through the woods. She didn't want to see anyone.

While she was walking, she found herself, not for the first time, thinking of 'Courtney.' How she'd been moody that night at the school. How she'd ripped that poster off the wall. It made more sense now. That she was angry at seeing her sister's face. But why? As she thought about it, Emily didn't realize she'd paused at the roughly beaten path that the blonde had led her down, looking in the direction of the 'kissing rock.' And why take her here after? She stared at it, the trees rustling pleasantly, a few birds singing high pitched notes. Suddenly, it all became too much, and she bolted forward, rushing down the path, breaking several twigs and branches along the way. She needed to see that place again. Needed to see that it was real.

It was harder to find than she expected, which left her wondering how the hell other Ali had found it at all. Did Real Ali even know about it? She'd certainly never mentioned it. But why would Real Ali tell Emily? This was probably just another one of her hundreds of secrets, and she obviously wasn't interested in kissing Emily anyway, that much was clear from the tree house.

Emily kicked a log, particularly hard, as she forced herself again to stop thinking about it. She spent another fifteen minutes rooting around in the forest like some sort of woodland creature before she found the clearing.

It was prettier in the day, less creepy, beautiful shafts of sunlight breaking through the trees. Her eyes fell on the big, old stone and, in the light, Emily could see other things written and carved into the rock. Other students names, other messages. So, she hadn't been lying about it being a 'kissing rock.' Someone else must've taken 'Courtney' here. But how? When? If Emily had never met her, had she been in Radley since the DiLaurentis family moved here in 5th grade? Had she broken out before?

Emily rounded the rock, wanting to see what she'd come for, but also hoping that in some sort of miracle, it would be wiped away, clean of the cherry red spray paint. But it wasn't.

 **A.D. + E.F.** , it read. It still looked fresh, the heart recently drawn.

Emily felt herself clench her fists. Why would she write her sister's initials? Why write their initials at all? Deface the kissing rock with a lie? It would be there forever. A stain. A blemish.

Emily took a step closer to it, not totally sure what she wanted to do. She had once wanted to keep that part of the rock, but now she wanted to take a sledgehammer to it. Destroy it. Because nothing had happened here with A.D. and E.F. Nothing had ever happened with A.D. and E.F. at all.

Looking at those letters, her sadness from earlier, from the entire weekend really, began to take on a new shape. A new form. Anger.

Alison had never taken her here. Alison had never been asked to Prom. Alison had never held Emily's hand. Alison had never called her 'Killer.' Alison had never kissed her, had never called her perfect. Alison had never started to say, " _I think I'm in lo—."_

Emily had to stop there, holding back tears.

Over the last several days, that part had been one of the most difficult for Emily to process. Why would 'Courtney' almost say that? Because she thought that's what Emily had wanted to hear? Because she thought Emily would do whatever she wanted if she said it? What did she want?

Emily couldn't stand it any more. She had to know why.

She stomped back to her house, tore open her car door, and input "Radley Sanitarum" into her GPS.

* * *

The journey wasn't long. Radley was just outside of town, through a great expanse of trees. The ride was short enough for Emily to speculate that Ali could've walked from the sanitarium into Rosewood. But how did she get out?

Emily had a guess. The rope ladder. The rope ladder she'd left on Emily's back porch on Friday. She obviously thought she wouldn't need it any more. Had she been planning to run away that night? Was she even going to _tell_ Emily?

Emily huffed, parking, taking a restless glance at the building. It was different than what she'd expected. Older. Darker. Taller. She tried to imagine Ali scaling the wall with the ladder, and it made her worried. This Ali really _was_ crazy, at least in a daredevil type of way. Emily could never see herself being able to do that. But she had also never been held, probably involuntarily, in a mental hospital.

After taking a moment to encourage herself, remind herself why she was there, she exited the car and slid through the black gates. And, wow, those gates were not inviting. She glanced uneasily back at them, feeling like someone might slam them shut on her at any moment, before pushing nervously through the entrance door. The anger that had fueled her to make the journey was feeling more and more depleted.

She took a careful survey of her surroundings, approaching what she assumed was the front desk. There was a harried looking nurse sitting behind it, having not registered her arrival at all.

"I'm here to see," Emily faltered for a second, the nurse glancing up in an annoyed sort of way. "Courtney DiLaurentis." The name felt awkward for Emily to say out loud. Unfamiliar, a stranger's name.

"Courtney?" the nurse said back questioningly. "She doesn't get many visitors. How do you know her?"

"We met through—" Emily paused again, not wanting to say it, "her sister. She and I go to school together."

The nurse continued to regard her curiously, before shrugging and pushing a clipboard towards her.

"Well, sign in here."

Emily picked up a pen but paused. She was starting to think it had been stupid to come here. 'Courtney' must've violated a dozen laws when they'd been together, did she really want anything to tie her to that?

Tentatively, she wrote down 'Heather Murphy' instead of her own name. She'd met a girl by that name once at swim camp when she'd been young. It was common enough she doubted anyone could trace it back to her. As her eyes tracked over the other names on the pad, she became curious. With a furtive glance at the nurse, whose back was turned going through several files, she flipped through the last several pages. Her eyes fell on a familiar name.

Jason DiLaurentis. He'd visited 'Courtney' the day after the night with the piano. Why?

"All set?" the nurse said, turning back around as Emily closed the pad, putting down the pen.

"Yes," she said, trying to look casual.

"I'll call a nurse down here while we get your visitor's badge printed," she paused, looking over the rim of her glasses, "Heather."

"Sure," Emily replied back.

While Emily waited, she thought about Jason. Did he visit Courtney a lot? It had never even occurred to Emily that he had known about her, though obviously he would; he had _two_ sisters.

Two Alisons. Emily still couldn't believe it. She didn't know if she would ever be used to the concept.

A new nurse approached a pair of mesh gates to Emily's right. Emily heard a loud buzz, and the nurse walked through, looking expectantly at the brunette. She had pale green eyes and fading red hair. Emily just stared at her.

"Well, let's go," she said somewhat curtly. "Courtney is in her room. She hasn't been feeling well."

Emily nodded weakly, slightly worried about 'Courtney' for a moment. Sick? But then she caught herself. _No, don't worry about her,_ she thought bitterly. _She didn't worry about you._

Emily followed the nurse through the gates and down a long hallway, the floor patterned with linoleum squares. The place seemed old, _really_ old. Like it hadn't been updated since the 70's. When they entered an elevator, Emily was slightly concerned it might malfunction. She didn't feel like the wiring in this place would be updated. When it lurched upward, her heartbeat jumped.

Happy to exit the elevator a few moments later, the nurse led her down a new hallway, though Emily could hardly tell the difference. It was like a maze in Radley. She wondered if that was by design, an attempt to confuse the patients further. Emily also wondered how many other people in Rosewood had secretly or not so secretly spent time here. She wondered how many people like 'Courtney' were hidden at Radley.

"Here we are," the nurse said, motioning to a thick metal door with a small square window cut into it.

Emily looked through the window and saw Ali laying on her bed, her face hidden by an unjacketed book, the title of which, Emily couldn't make out. She took a breath, nervous suddenly. She glanced at the nurse, who she'd hoped would leave, but the woman didn't budge, eyeing her oddly.

Without an excuse to delay any further, Emily reached for the handle and pushed the door open.

"Courtney," the nurse called into the room.

Ali pulled the book down from her face. Emily was somewhat annoyed to see that, even 'sick', she still looked so beautiful. She was obviously like her sister in that respect. It took a lot for Real Ali to look bad.

But the serene look on Ali's face disappeared as she looked at Emily, her eyebrows furrowing. In its place, she looked worried as she moved into a sitting position, dropping the book onto the sheets.

"You have Heather here to see you. She's a friend of your sister's?" the nurse asked 'Courtney' in a questioning way, as if she still suspected Emily might be lying.

Ali's face cleared. "Oh hello… Heather," she said, smirking, her eyes flicking to Emily's visitor's badge.

Emily put her hands into her pockets, stepping into the room, forcing herself to avert Ali's gaze. She already felt guilty enough about lying, and Ali seemed to be enjoying her discomfort. The blonde watched her the way a cat might watch a mouse, before addressing the nurse.

"Thanks, Betty," she said, and the nurse nodded, smiling at Ali, closing the door behind her as she left.

Ali stood up from the bed, her smirk fading, her expression becoming more somber again. The image of her there was stark, incongruous. She looked like a brilliant blue in a black and white photo. Like high end heels at a PayLess. She looked nothing like a girl who belonged in Radley, in this old, dark, creepy place. She looked everything like a captain of a team, Queen of a school. Like Real Ali.

But the differences between the twins were much easier for Emily to detect in the sunlight. Her hair was pulled back on the top, but her golden curls were obviously darker as they fell lightly on her shoulders. She was wearing jeans and a blue top, one Emily had sworn she'd seen Real Ali wear. Did they own the same clothes? Emily remembered it because she'd thought it had brought out her eyes, which it was doing again here, but more so because of 'Courtney's' just slightly bluer irises. She looked more slender in the top, though, less athletic, less tan.

Her bearing was somehow sharper around the edges, too, not so perfectly poised. She was like a raw, uncut version of the Alison DiLaurentis Emily had known. Like she was pure from the source. She wasn't wearing makeup like Real Ali _always_ would, but somehow naturally that way, she was more beautiful.

"What is it?" she said, causing Emily's eyes to snap up to hers. "Cat got your tongue?" she finished, a hint of her usual confidence just under her nervousness.

"It's just that," Emily started, not wanting to share the particular strain of her last thought. "I've never seen you during the day."

"Me either," she said, glancing over Emily's outfit. "You look good."

Emily felt herself blush. God, was 'Courtney' flirting with her even here, even now? After everything? Emily was mad at herself for blushing, mad that, on some involuntary level, she still liked getting that kind of attention from her.

Ali made a move as if she were going to come over to Emily, but Emily quickly held up her hand.

"No," she said. "Stay over there. I want to talk to you."

She paused, sighing, and put her hand out on her bed post instead, leaning on one foot. It was a move Emily felt like she'd seen Real Ali do dozens of times. Especially when she was impatient or irritated.

"What do you want to talk about?" Ali asked evenly.

"I want answers."

"What do you want to know?"

But with Ali looking like that, standing there like that, Emily felt on the spot, like all the questions had suddenly shot out of her mind through her ears. She quietly struggled to remember her anger, what she had to say.

"That was you that night, wasn't it?" she started inelegantly. "When I told her—you— how I felt?"

Ali looked away, chewing on her cheek. Emily waited.

"Yes," she said.

"Why?"

She glanced back up at Emily, her face looking more drawn. "I had just escaped Radley that night, I—" she started.

"No," Emily interrupted her. "Why did you kiss me? Why did we—why did you do all of those things? Were you trying to hurt me?"

Emily found her voice sounded much more wounded than she'd intended. She wanted to sound strong, untouchable. But that was what Real Ali was good at, not Emily. That was why Emily had first liked her.

"No," Ali said, looking slightly hurt. "Look, I don't know why—I mean, I know why, but I know what I did was wrong. I just—"

"What, Ali? You what?" Emily said, cutting her off again, feeling more emotional by the second.

"Do you want to let me finish?" Ali asked, a flash of anger behind her eyes.

Emily only looked away.

"I didn't know you," Ali continued more calmly. "Not at first. I wasn't going to talk to you again after the storage unit. But when I did get to know you… I liked you. I didn't want to stop being around you."

Emily looked back up at her, their eyes locking. Emily had no idea what Ali would say, but she hadn't expected that. But it shouldn't, _no, didn't_ change anything.

"You could've liked me," Emily said finally, "and not have kissed me."

"No," Ali replied with a trace of irritability. "I couldn't have. Because I don't just like you, I like-like you. Isn't that obvious?"

Emily was surprised again. Even though, when she _did_ think about it, it _was_ obvious. All the things that 'Courtney' had done that Emily had missed from Real Ali. The looks, the touches. But Emily didn't want to hope that what Ali was saying was true. She didn't want to be hurt again.

"Well, I don't like that I didn't know who I was kissing," Emily said flatly.

"Well, I didn't like that you thought you were kissing _her_ ," Ali said back harshly.

"Oh, I'm sorry that was so hard for you," Emily replied, matching her tone.

Ali took a deep breath, watching Emily closely. Emily felt like she could see the gears in her head turning, but she didn't quite know what it meant.

"How did you find out?" Ali asked in a measured tone. "Just the bracelet?"

Emily looked away, crossing her arms.

"No," she answered after a few seconds, not really sure why. She hadn't planned on telling her about this.

"What else?" Ali asked with a closed off expression.

"I had just noticed the differences over time," Emily started apprehensively. "And when I kissed her, I knew—"

"Wait," Ali said, interrupting Emily. She lifted one hand up, her lip curling, her voice raising. "You kissed her?"

Emily was surprised at the strength of her indignation. It reignited her anger. Ali had no right to be jealous.

"Of course I did!" Emily practically shouted back before catching herself, glancing nervously at the door.

"Is that so shocking after… after…What did you expect?!" she continued in a hushed hissed. "I thought she was you or, God, what am I even saying, I thought you were her!"

Emily was furious that she had to defend herself. And, on a deeper level, she was also still so mad that she hadn't known which one was which. That 'Courtney' had so easily duped her for the past month. But the blonde didn't say anything for what had to be a full minute. She was clearly fuming, her eyes smoldering. Emily was sure she was still thinking about that kiss which was confirmed seconds later when she snapped sharply,

"Well—how was it?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes," she said hotly. "You'd been _dying_ to kiss her, and finally you did. So? Was it everything you dreamed?"

"I can't believe you're asking about this," Emily said, infuriated. "You don't care—"

"Of course I care!" Ali said, withdrawing her hand from the bed post, putting both on her hips. She looked intimidating.

"Do you?" Emily snapped back. "Because you've been _lying_ to me this entire time. I mean—Alison isn't even your name, and that's only the beginning."

Ali's eyes narrowed, her intimidation factor growing just a tiny bit higher.

"My name is Alison," she said coldly.

"No," Emily said harshly back. "It isn't."

"Yes, it _is_ ," Ali said again, her voice raising with the same venom Emily was well acquainted with hearing from her sister. But Emily wasn't deterred.

"That's funny because I didn't sign in here to see Alison DiLaurentis. I'm visiting 'Courtney,'" Emily finished with air quotes.

Ali shot her an icy glare and pushed away from the bed. For a tense moment, Emily was afraid she was coming over to her to do, she didn't know what. But Ali angled toward the window. She crossed her arms and stared out, looking far away.

"That's my sister's name," she quietly said again.

Emily just watched her, waiting for an explanation. _Maybe she is crazy,_ she thought as the silence lengthened. Alison glanced back at her, catching her expression, and rolled her eyes.

"My sister was sent here in 5th grade, okay? Right when we moved here. She was at Radley until 8th grade, when she switched places with me. She tricked our parents by stealing my A ring. The one you helped me reacquire. She became friends with you and all your friends, and you remember the rest _very well_ , I'm sure," she said, the last part bitter.

Emily didn't say anything back, not totally sure _what_ to say. What if this was just this sick sister's delusion? What if it was all made up?

"If you're not crazy, why won't they let you out?" Emily asked, testingly.

"I had a chance to come home in 10th grade. But your precious Courtney told our parents I'd tried to hurt her again. They sent me back," Ali said with a deadened voice.

"Then, is your sister crazy?"

"Not exactly," she said after a beat, having clearly considered whether or not to lie.

"So..." Emily started slowly. "Why was she in here in the first place?"

"I told our parents that she'd tried to kill me, that she was crazy."

"Alison!" Emily cried at her. "How could you do that?"

Ali turned quickly, facing Emily again, her eyes blazing.

"Well, she got her revenge, okay? I've been here for four years, she was here for four years. I'd say we're even."

Emily didn't like the maddened look in Ali's eye so she let the subject drop. She was busy enough trying to keep everything straight in her own head, anyway.

"So, you're Alison," Emily asked.

"That's right," Ali replied, looking less angry.

"And she's Courtney."

Ali nodded. Emily felt a stress headache coming on.

"Why should I believe you?" she grumbled, rubbing her temples.

"Ask her where that time capsule piece is. I had it. Ask her about playing piano, she doesn't know how," Ali spoke quickly, the words flowing out in one seamless breath. As if she'd been waiting for Emily to ask that very question. "Ask her about something, anything that happened before 9th grade."

Emily still didn't look convinced, a minute passing as Ali uncrossed her arms at the window.

"I remembered you, Em," Ali continued more softly. "How do you think I knew your name that night? I can tell you how we first met, and I bet she can't."

"Okay," Emily said tensely. "When did we first meet?"

"In the grocery store. We'd just moved in. You watched me in the frozen food aisle, by the ice cream. I smiled at you."

Emily did remember it, hauntingly. Ali had been with Mrs. D and Jason. She'd been begging her mom for Strawberry ice cream, but Jason wanted Rocky Road. When Jason had raised his voice at Ali, he'd gotten a stern reprimand from their mother. Her mother had gotten Strawberry. Ali had glanced at Emily, smiling somewhat victoriously, unseen by her mother or Jason. And, even then, she was the most beautiful girl Emily had ever seen.

Emily shook herself back to the present.

"It doesn't change anything if you are Alison or if you're not," she said finally. "You still lied to me."

Ali took another breath, looking vulnerable again. Like she had in Emily's bedroom when the police were there.

"Please forgive me," she said.

"How can I?" Emily asked, the pain back in her voice. She wanted to forgive her, but she also didn't. She didn't want her to have the same power as her sister, the power to get anything and everything she wanted at whim from Emily.

"We _slept_ together," Emily continued, feeling her hands shake. "You let me do that. You let me believe you were her."

"I was _trying_ to leave," Ali said defensively back, but Emily could hear the pain in her voice, too.

"When? When your tongue was halfway down my throat?" she quickly retorted, not wanting to feel bad for Ali, not wanting to give in.

"That wasn't part of my plan!" Ali cried back at her, seeming finally to have lost control of her emotions. "YOU weren't part of my plan!"

"That was my first time with a girl, Alison!" Emily said loudly, easily able to match Alison's emotion with her own, happy almost that they were fighting.

"It was mine, too, Emily!" Ali shouted back with equal fervor. Emily saw one of her hands clench and unclench. She watched Ali's eyes well suddenly with tears. "With anyone," she said, turning away, her hand pressing against her brow.

Emily felt relief at the admission that Alison wasn't some sort of massive womanizer. But the sensation was short lived and followed quickly by a wave of guilt. Her first time with anyone? Emily had unknowingly taken that from her? The reality of the situation seemed to hit her over and over again, like a jackhammer. Could this get any worse?

"Well, I wouldn't have done it if I'd known that," Emily said quietly.

Ali turned to look at her, furious, blinking her tears back.

"You _wouldn't_ have?" she started cuttingly. "You're in love with a girl I look identical to and am almost exactly like. I think you _would_ have."

Emily opened her mouth to respond, but was surprised at how quickly Ali's defense had turned into offense. It was like arguing with both ice _and_ fire. It also stunned her how close what she said hit to home. Was it true?

"The only difference between Courtney and I," Ali continued angrily, "is that I actually have feelings for you, and she doesn't."

"How do you know she doesn't have feelings for me?" Emily said back, shocked out of her silence.

"Well, _you_ kissed her, didn't you? How did that go?" she spat.

Emily burned in anger, ignoring the question.

"You can't have feelings for me. You don't even know me."

"I know you," she said simply.

"No-"

"Yes," she said continuing. "You're kind, and you're loyal. You're gorgeous. Thoughtful, funny." Ali was saying every word like an insult, but they were all compliments. It was like she hated that she liked these things about Emily.

"And _I_ like you. I don't know if Courtney does, or if she ever did, but I do."

"I don't know you," Emily remphasized.

"You know me," Ali said. "I only lied about being her."

"Only that?" Emily snapped back.

"That's a lot better than _some_ people, Em," Ali said. "Why do you think I was able to trick you? Because you knew Courtney so well? Because she's so open and sharing?"

Emily wanted to defend her best friend from the things her weird mirror image was saying, but she couldn't find the words.

"You didn't even know about me," Ali continued mercilessly. "You didn't know about _her._ She used to be a totally different person. She's lied about _everything_ since the day she met you, the day she befriended all of you on my lawn because she knew my friends would recognize her for a fraud."

Emily still had no comeback, no counter attack because it was true. Courtney _had_ lied, at least about Ali.

"Face it, Emily," she said, her eyes fiery. "You loved an idea. A concept. A facade that _I_ built. Everything you like about her, you only like because she stole it from me."

Emily felt her words like a punch to the stomach. She felt crushed suddenly. Because everything Ali said bordered on the worst things Emily had been thinking over the last few days. That the person she thought she'd loved, both of them, were lies.

Ali watched her reaction, her gaze thawing, looking regretful. Like she might've gone too far.

"Em, I'm sorr—" she started.

"I want that necklace back," Emily interrupted her in a quiet, harsh tone.

Ali looked stunned. But then clenched her jaw, hard.

"No," she said resolutely.

"No?" Emily asked in disbleief.

"You gave it to _me_ ," she said.

"Ali, I didn't—"

"If you want it," Alison cut in. "You're going to have to come take it off me."

The tension felt heavy in the room as Emily stared at Ali, imagining doing exactly that. But she didn't think she could stand to be near Alison. To smell that vanilla scent. She suspected Ali knew this.

Emily grumbled loudly, crossing her arms, and turned towards Ali's book collection. It was impressive. She touched the spine of Great Expectations.

"I thought all of my dreams were coming true with you, Ali," she said quietly "But it was really just a nightmare."

"Emily," she said, her tone having changed once again. The quickness with which the blonde could switch gears was astounding.

"I told you I loved you," Emily said, referring to the moment when Ali was moaning her name, while Emily was kissing her ear. Her voice broke. It hurt to think about.

"I'm sorry," she pled.

Emily glanced back at her, her finger still touching the book. Ali did look sorry. But was it enough?

"But I do lov—"

"No," Emily stopped her sharply. "Don't say that. You don't get to."

"Fine," she said, rankled. "Whether I say it or not, it's still true."

Her words hung thickly in the room as Emily thought about Alison, this twin of her best friend loving her. It was still so weird to imagine the girls as separate, much less this one having feelings like _that_ for Emily. Even talking to her now, Emily's brain was still adjusting to the idea that there were two of them. To the idea that Ali was a totally separate person than Courtney, with totally different memories, life experiences, and personality traits. To the idea that Ali knew her at one point, but then came here. Emily both wanted to get to know this Ali's story and to never talk to her again.

A hard knock made them both jump.

"Courtney, your session with Dr. Radner is right now," a nurse called through the door.

Emily turned to grab the door handle, utterly exhausted from the conversation, ready to quit. Ready to never come back to this terrible place. But suddenly Ali was behind her, placing her hand over Emily's, stopping her from pulling. Her fingers felt warm and soft. Emily turned her head, and Ali was so close on her left that she could see the tiny blonde hairs on her cheeks, she could smell her perfume, both heavenly and excruciating. Ali searched her face with those beautiful blue eyes.

"Wait," she whispered, her breath hitting Emily's face in a puff. Emily couldn't help but glance down at her lips. They were so perfect and pink and full. Ali mirrored the action in a torturous way.

"What do you want from me?" Emily said, anguished.

"I need you," Ali said back, so sincerely, so straightforward it gave Emily pause. "When you came by that night, I didn't know—I was going to do something terrible. And you saved me."

Emily looked down from her eyes, feeling her proximity acutely, feeling Ali squeeze her hand.

"I'm really sorry," she continued quietly. "Please forgive me."

"I don't know if I can," Emily said back after a long, painful moment.

"If I could keep you," she started again, her hand gripping Emily's tighter. "I'd give up—Courtney could have everything else."

But that was not really what Emily wanted to hear. She didn't want to be part of some sort of power struggle between Ali and Courtney.

"I'm not an object, Ali. I'm a person and you don't treat people the way you treated me."

"I promise I can do better," Ali implored again. "Please."

"Come on Courtney," the nurse's muffled, austere voice said again through the door.

Ali looked down at her hand over Emily's, removing it with a defeated look on her face. Emily opened the door and stood awkwardly out in the hallway as Ali followed her.

"The elevator is that way," the nurse said with a point of her finger. Emily nodded.

"Please come back," Ali said as she followed the nurse in the other direction, having not once taken her eyes away from Emily's face.

She disappeared around the corner before Emily could respond. Emily had no idea what she would do, she was more confused than ever.

 **Will Emily forgive Ali? Will Courtney finally corner Emily?  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** It's funny, I thought this chapter would be short, only 3k words, and now it's like 8k. Oh well! From now on, I'll be referring to the twins by their actual names. Exciting! No more confusion! Let me know what you think about this chapter! I love all the reviews, 41 days until 7B.

* * *

Emily left Radley Sanitarium in total bewilderment. She couldn't get the haunting image of Ali walking away from her down that lonely hallway out of her mind. Nor could she forget Ali glancing at her lips, her hand over Emily's, talking about how she wanted to keep her. But the taunting words Ali had said also echoed sharply in her brain, like a bell being violently rung. How Ali had said Emily only liked Courtney because of her, how Emily didn't even know Courtney at all. It made her hate Ali, a little more even, because it was true.

Emily had never thought it was possible to have two such powerfully competing emotions at once: the desire to do anything for Alison versus the desire to never see her again. With Ali, Emily somehow found herself under a greater power than Courtney had ever wielded over her, something she never felt could be possible. She'd always thought Courtney would be the center of her universe, but gravity had shifted, it seemed, and Ali was now the sun. Or, potentially, a black hole. Because all the forces that had worked so singularly on her before, with Ali, now worked tenfold.

She acutely felt the pain of that gravity as she made her way back to the car. Every step away from Alison felt heavy and leaden, beckoning Emily strongly to go back. _Alison needed her_ , it said. _Alison was all alone. Alison loved her_. But every step away also decreased the power of her influence. Being out of Ali's direct presence seemed to help Emily think more clearly. Ali couldn't be telling the truth about Courtney. That Courtney had fooled everyone, that Courtney had intentionally tricked Ali into Radley. Not only was it incredible, it was incredibly cruel. Emily didn't _want_ it to be true. She didn't want her best friend to be capable of such a thing. She didn't want to have to choose between which "Ali" was the real monster.

Glancing back at the golem of a building, she couldn't imagine herself ever having the will power to go back inside. Did that make her a coward? Maybe. But why suffer for the sake of someone who might be, no, _was probably_ crazy? But, again the forces fought, and she imagined Ali alone, forever in that room full of books, abandoned. Ali who she had kissed, Ali who she had loved, Ali whose body she had adored.

In the end, it was all so frustratingly simple: Emily wanted to leave her. But she couldn't.

Irritated, she shifted the car back into drive, beginning the short trip home. She cranked the radio volume up, and tried to push all things DiLaurentis out of her mind.

It was peaceful as the music blared. Blissful, even, to escape if only for a few minutes. But her respite was short lived. As she pulled up to her house, she saw someone sitting on her front door step. She saw the gleam of perfectly coifed blonde hair, the flash of blue eyes looking up. Emily sighed, somewhat stoically. The irony was poignant. Last week, the sight of Courtney on her doorstep would've been thrilling, a wonderful surprise. But now, she could hardly bear the sight of her.

Emily turned the engine off, resigned to her fate. She stepped out of the car, approaching Courtney, who stood from the wooden steps, smoothing down her jean skirt.

"Hi," Courtney said, unusually flatly. Emily had thought her friend might start yelling at her, or act more passive aggressively. But Courtney seemed really muted, fidgeting slightly still with the hem of her blouse, her phone in her hand.

"Hey," Emily said in return. She put her hands in her pockets.

"Did you skip school today?" Courtney asked conversationally, but after years of studying her every tone, Emily could detect a note of annoyance.

Emily nodded, wanting to tear her eyes away from her, wanting to avoid whatever punishment Courtney was about to throw at her, but she wasn't quite able to. She hadn't seen Courtney since her unwelcome "discovery", since the tree house. She instead focused on the same subtle differences in appearance she'd pinpointed with Ali earlier. Her lighter hair, her paler eyes, her tan skin. Her jaw line, too, was sharper. Emily dared to think that Alison was even prettier, which seemed impossible. She'd never thought any girl, in Rosewood, in the state, in the world, could be prettier than Courtney.

Emily's eyes continued to roam over these things, committing them to memory. She never wanted to mistake one twin for the other again.

"Well, you didn't have to," Courtney said quietly, looking back at Emily evenly.

Emily hesitated to respond, thinking Courtney would snap at any minute. She wanted to say, of _course_ she would skip school. Was that such a surprise? Her world had practically imploded over the weekend, and hadn't Courtney's? Hadn't her so closely guarded secret escaped for the world to see and meet? Emily had met Ali, Caleb had met her, how many other people had met Courtney's twin unknowingly? Why wasn't Courtney in a rage, in a melt down? Why was she just standing there gazing at Emily coolly? _Maybe it's just the calm before the storm_ , Emily reasoned.

"Can we go to your house?" Emily asked stiffly. "My mom is inside." She didn't want to have some sort of blow up fight in front of her mom. Mrs. Fields still didn't know that the police had been at their house.

"Sure," Courtney said with her usual half smile, the smirk. It was so eerily similar to Ali's that Emily found herself wondering if that smile was something she adopted, forged from Alison. Or if Ali got it from her. She didn't know where one started and the other began.

Courtney led her to the sidewalk, and Emily followed quietly, her thoughts racing, still pondering the implications of what Ali had said back at Radley. If she was telling the truth, Courtney would've had to lie for years. Four years. Ali had said that she'd been a totally different person before. What had she _been_ like? Did that person still exist? Who was she underneath her "Alison" exterior? Emily couldn't help but wonder if Courtney would have been a different friend to Emily. Is she would have been friends with her at all?

While she thought these things and a hundred or more just like them, Courtney allowed them to walk in silence, perhaps understanding the personal nature of the conversation they needed to have. She, too, probably didn't want to get into Alison's escape on a public side walk. But, despite this kindness, the journey was still torture. Emily had never noticed exactly how long the walk to her house took. It had always felt too short before, like she never got to spend enough time with Courtney, but now it felt like an eternity. A death march.

Finally, Emily saw the beautiful rose bushes, the white columns. They entered the house, and Emily had to force herself not to look at the piano. She didn't think she could without blushing and thinking of Alison. But Courtney didn't seem to notice as she skipped the first step up the stairs, heading up to her bedroom. Emily followed suit behind, skipping the step, too, without even thinking.

Courtney waited for Emily to pass the threshold into her bedroom, before softly shutting her door. Emily felt slightly trapped, but tried to remain calm, despite feeling her hands become sticky and hot, her stomach clench. As Courtney passed by Emily, Emily caught a waft of an expensive designer perfume that Courtney was wearing. It smelled good, but it was unfamiliar to her, and she wanted to recoil.

Courtney plopped down on her bed, gazing at Emily the way a student might gaze at a math problem on a chalk board, leaning back slightly on both palms.

"So, I think you know," Courtney started slowly, her voice as melodic as Ali's, albeit slightly less raspy. "That we need to talk."

This was Emily's curtain call. She took a deep breath, gripping the back of Courtney's sitting chair tightly. It was time to face the music.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "We need to talk about…" but Emily trailed off. It was if her voice was deliberately disobeying her, her throat, her tongue refusing to continue. She couldn't bring herself to say her name, Courtney's name, Ali's name. She pressed her hands over her eyes, not wanting to cry from the frustration of it all.

"You kissing me, Em," Courtney easily finished for her.

Emily blinked hard, pulling her hands away from her face, looking at Courtney. Courtney was looking at her steadily still, like she was only doing something mildly uncomfortable. Sudoku. Ripping a bandaid off. Tweezing. Nothing like having a conversation about her secret twin sister being arrested at Emily's house.

"Just… that?" Emily asked. Did she not… know?

"Duh," Courtney said flippantly, throwing her hair over her shoulder and shifting a leg up onto her bed. "Is there something else that happened? You've been avoiding me for days."

Emily didn't dare move, she couldn't betray herself. But it felt impossible that Courtney wouldn't know about Alison, that her parents wouldn't have told her. Wouldn't the cops have called their house? The hospital? Emily was deeply puzzled, and worried slightly that Courtney might be tricking her somehow, she was certainly capable of it. So, she didn't answer, silence altogether feeling like the best strategy.

"I thought you were going to tell me about a new guy you liked," Courtney continued, seemingly oblivious. "And then…" she said raising her eyebrows, that sharp look back in her blue eyes, the same one she'd had just after Emily had kissed her. The type of look that indicated that Emily had just committed some serious faux pas, some massive impropriety.

"It was a joke, Ali," Emily said, trying to play it off, internally irked at how unbelievably lame she sounded.

But the truth was she hadn't thought much about what she would say to Courtney on this subject, it had been the least of her problems. She figured after Ali's arrest Courtney would've figured out, pretty quickly, _why_ Emily had kissed her. Those were the types of things Courtney was best at deducing.

"A joke?" Courtney asked mockingly.

"A mistake," Emily corrected, beginning to feel annoyed with Courtney's tone, the skeptical face she was making, her slightly curled lip. Would it have been such a bad thing if she _had_ kissed her for real?

"I was thinking about…" Emily continued, but had to pause. She was going to say 'a guy,' but couldn't quite bring herself to say it. "Who I liked," she finished instead. "And got confused."

Courtney laughed her beautiful, musical laugh but it felt like a burn, a hot poker to Emily's ears.

"I think you're lying to me," she said when she was done, her eyes flicking back to Emily, her face slightly turned, her jaw looking all the sharper in profile.

Emily held her unflinching gaze, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, this time for totally different reasons than what she'd been used to with her twin over the last few weeks. Not in attraction, but in anger. She _was_ lying to Courtney. But not in the way she thought.

"I do like someone," Emily defended, her tone quiet but hostile.

"A guy?" Courtney challenged.

Emily didn't reply, unsure of what she _could_ say. In her mind, she ran through what it would be like to throw it in Courtney's face that she hadn't meant to kiss _her_ at all. But she quickly saw visions of Courtney blowing up, going nuclear. And she wasn't prepared for that. At least not today when she'd spent the other half it going multiple verbal rounds with her sister.

"It's okay, Em," Courtney said standing, misreading Emily's silence for who knew what.

She crossed over to her dresser, and Emily could see her reflection in the vanity mirror that sat at the top, that infuriating smirk still on her face. "Your secret's safe with me."

At those words, Emily felt her anger flare much more hotly, she felt the desire return to yell, to go nuclear herself. Her fists shook slightly as she clenched them, trying to retain control. She thought of Alison. Of Alison not saying anything like this. Of how she could've shamed Emily, manipulated her, blackmailed her. Of all the different, painful ways she could've twisted what Emily had told her to extract whatever she wanted. But she hadn't. It was like existing in two separate timelines, and Emily was reliving the worst of them. The alternate world where "Alison" didn't return her feelings, didn't kiss her at the kissing rock, but instead used Emily's love against her.

She watched Courtney toy with her hair in the mirror, like she'd won, like she was done and they were now free to move on from the subject. And, though none of this should have surprised Emily, it still did. Emily had always known Courtney was like this, she'd seen her exploit Aria, Hanna, and Spencer. But because she'd always been closest to Emily, Emily had assumed she wouldn't do the same if given the chance. But, now more than ever, Emily realized that had been naïve. She wasn't special to Courtney, no more than anyone else was. This was the same person, after all, that had allegedly trapped her sister in a mental institution.

 _Maybe Ali was right about her._

Emily glanced at Courtney at the dresser, going through her jewelry box, pulling out a silver necklace with a pretty ballerina on it. Emily looked at the box, thinking of Ali stealing that ring. The one with the A. She wondered if Courtney knew it was missing. She wondered if she knew where something else had gone missing.

"Ali," she started. "Whatever happened to that old time capsule piece?"

"Which one?" she responded back absently, looking at herself in the mirror with the necklace on. She made a face, taking it off again, and Emily was suddenly glad she hadn't given her the graduation present, that Ali had received it instead. Courtney might've pretended she liked it, but it would surely lie at the bottom of that same box, unloved and uncherished with everything else.

"In 8th grade. The one they never found," Emily continued.

"Well, obviously, Em, they never found it," she said shortly.

"You didn't hide it anywhere or anything?"

"No," she said promptly, closing the box. She grabbed a tube of lip gloss sitting next to her brush. "I think my brother stole it."

Emily was confused. Clearly, Courtney didn't know what had become of the piece, so how could Ali have known where to find it? Could Jason have told her? Why would Jason hide it for so long, why not just turn it in that year, so the flag would've been whole? It didn't make sense.

But at that moment, Courtney lifted the lip gloss to her mouth. She looked at Emily in the mirror, their eyes locking. She made a show of applying it.

"You like this, Em?" she asked, her tone unquestionably flirtatious.

Emily was thrown by it.

"What?" she said back uncomfortably.

"The shade," Courtney said, the tone gone, and Emily knew instantly that Courtney was fucking with her.

"Oh," Emily said, having to work hard to hide her anger. "Yeah, it looks pretty," she all but forced herself to say.

Courtney smiled sweetly at her before looking down at the label. "Strawberry blush," she read aloud.

"Reminds me of when we first met," Emily said, almost to herself.

"Oh yeah?" Courtney said casually, popping the lid back on.

"Do you remember?" Emily asked, trying to sound natural.

"No, not really," Courtney said dismissively.

Even though Courtney never remembered things the way she did, the comment still would've hurt. Emily could recall everything they'd ever done together. Everything. But it comforted her that Ali _did_ remember. The _real_ Alison, at least, remembered the grocery store.

"Well, in 6th grade, I saw you at the MAC makeup counter," Emily lied, ad libbing. "You were buying new lip gloss."

"Oh yeah," she said absently. "I remember now. I love MAC, maybe that's where I got this," she said inspecting the lip gloss. "I've had it forever."

Her feigned ignorance was so smooth, so natural, that Emily was almost impressed. But why wouldn't it be? She'd been doing it for years. Still, despite her excellent performance, Emily knew that Ali was right about the switch, that Courtney had been lying. She just knew.

"Well, I need to go," Emily said pulling her hand away from the sitting chair. Her fingers had left a deep indentation in the fabric. "My mom is probably wondering where I am."

Emily curtly crossed the room towards the door. Courtney spun as she turned the knob, touching Emily's wrist, causing her to pause. Emily had to resist jerking away.

"I'm glad we talked, Em," she said, with the DiLaurentis smile, the one that was so hard to tell whether it was real or genuine. "Remember, you can tell me anything. I don't want you to avoid me any more at school."

The way she'd said it struck Emily more like a command than any sort of reassurance. Like a hidden threat. _I know what you did_ , it said. _I know what you are._ _And you'll do what I say.  
_

"Okay," Emily replied flatly.

"Okay," Courtney mimicked back cheerily. "See you tomorrow."

Emily resignedly left the room. She pounded down the stairs, eager to get the hell out of the house. She should be happy that Courtney didn't know about Alison, right? But she wasn't. It just felt like Emily was living on borrowed time, like the walls were slowly closing in.

"Emily," a voice called to her.

She stopped in the foyer, Jason was standing with his hand on the piano a few feet away. Emily tried not to gaze at the shiny black surface.

"Hey," she said, almost coldly. She remembered his name on the Radley sign in sheet, his handwriting jagged and disorderly.

He closed the space between them, causing Emily to take a wary step backwards. He caught the action and looked slightly hurt. He motioned towards the door, causing Emily to quirk her eyebrows in confusion. He moved out onto the front porch and shut the door after Emily followed blankly behind him.

"I got the call," he said simply.

Emily stared, still at a loss, back at him.

"From the police. And from the hospital. I didn't tell… Ali," he said slowly, as if he knew exactly that it wasn't her name. "I didn't tell our parents."

Finally, Emily understood. Why Courtney didn't know, why no one did. But she was still angry with Jason, with every single person in their family.

"I went to Radley today," Emily found herself shooting boldly back at him.

"You did?" he said, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Of course. How could you let her stay in there?" she found herself hissing accusingly. "Did you know? About the switch?"

"Look, I didn't know. Honestly," he said with his hands up defensively. "I would—I wouldn't do that."

Emily pulled at her hair, pressing at her temples again. "How could you _all_ lie to us?"

"Look, I'm trying to help," he interjected. "Really. That's why I didn't tell anyone. If Ali had found out, if our parents knew," he continued, his voice wavering slightly. "They would've sent Courtney away."

"You mean, Ali. They'd send Ali away," Emily said with a hard tone, even though that fact had never even occurred to her. It made her squirm inside, very uncomfortably. Send her away? To where?

"Yeah," he said, looking wretched.

Emily glared at him for a long moment. He looked back up, catching the intensity of her look.

"Look, I didn't know or—I guess—I didn't believe her when it happened. But when I heard the piano the other night, I looked through the window before I came inside. I saw Ali playing, I saw _you both_ there."

Emily regarded him warily. What exactly _did_ he see?

"But I know now," he continued, moving past it. "And I want to help. I want both my sisters back. We just can't—we can't talk about it here, not right now," he said pointing slightly upward, in the direction of Courtney's bedroom. It annoyed Emily.

"Right," Emily said, crossing her arms. "Because it's a _giant_ secret."

"Because it's delicate," he countered. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but Courtney used to be nice, she didn't used to be like this. I think we could tell her in a better way. Maybe we could talk to our parents. Maybe—maybe she'd switch back?"

His expression looked so hopeful. And Emily could understand. She couldn't imagine the guilt that must be eating Jason up, the pain of never seeing or knowing one of his siblings. And knowing that it was partially your fault. She could see how he'd want a fairy tale ending, how he'd want to put a bow in this giant mess.

"I don't know," Emily said. She wasn't convinced that Courtney was still 'nice' at all any more. Not after what she'd experienced just now up in her room.

"We should at least try," he said. "I don't want Ali to run away."

Emily's head jolted up at that.

"That's what she was doing, wasn't she?" Jason pushed. "Running away? That's why she needed your help?"

Emily hadn't thought about it that way, but he was probably right. Had Ali been planning to really run away? To leave Rosewood? To leave Emily? She felt tears threaten her again.

"Let's just talk later," she said exhausted, turning away. "I just—I just can't any more today."

And, without waiting for his reply, Emily moved off of the front porch and out into the yard. She headed home, looking forward to the blackness of her bedroom, where she could lose the memory of this day in a long, dark, deep sleep.

* * *

Emily felt Alison's lips, firm and smooth against her ear. She could smell her vanilla scent, she was drowning in it, while Ali kissed her there delicately, impossibly softly.

"Em," she said, her voice sexy, raspy, the way Emily loved it best. Her breath ghosted across her cheek, her lips pausing to linger at hers, close, but not quite touching. But she slid away suddenly, in a loud splash, as she hit the floor.

 _Water?_ Emily thought, confused, reaching for Ali. But it was everywhere, filling the room. Emily pulled away in fear. Suddenly, they weren't in a room, they were on a boat, and Ali had fallen into a rough swell of waves, the water as dark, stormy, and blue as her eyes.

"Emily!" she called out, no longer sexy, but fearfully, afraid for her life. Her arms flailed, her legs thrashed.

"Ali!" Emily yelled back, desperately clinging to the side of the boat, trying to grab her hand, but she was too far away.

She tried harder, but she felt Ali's pale, white fingers slip wetly through hers. She saw her beautiful face, her terribly frightened eyes disappear beneath the waves.

"Ali!" Emily cried out again. She poised herself on the edge and dove in.

But as she did it, she jerked awake, throwing half the sheets off of her bed, convinced she was about to hit cold, cold water. While her heart still raced, it took a moment to orient herself, to recognize the familiar outline of the objects in her room. Her room. Not a boat. And Ali was gone, not drowning. It was just a dream.

She glanced out of her window, it was nighttime, maybe 2 or 3 in the morning. She pressed her hands over her eyes, trying to forget the dream, a dream whose different variations she'd had every night for the past few nights. Every night since she'd talked to Ali, Courtney and Jason.

She felt a thin sheen of sweat on her skin, hot and uncomfortable, so she kicked the rest of the sheets off of her bed angrily, needing the cool air. She didn't have to be a psychiatrist to know what the dream meant. Whether it was waves, or a crowd, or Alison falling off a high building, a steep ledge, it was obvious that Emily was afraid of losing "Ali." But, in reality, that had already happened, her view of her best friend had already been shattered. Her old memories of Ali were gone. The ones where she thought she was just her amazing, beautiful friend. Her secret crush. Now, she had to revise her entire history with her, everything being destroyed over and over again, every memory tainted. Why dream of it happening again? To torture herself?

She stood from the bed and crossed the room to stand unmovingly and silently in front of her window seat. She stared at it, as if she were capable of burning holes through the wood with her eyes. She'd wanted to go through Ali's backpack, the one she'd left, but could never quite bring herself to do it. It felt like it was taunting her there. Calling her weak. But she'd thought she might turn it in to the police, or that Ali might come back for it. Clearly, neither of those options were happening now.

She reached forward and opened the lid, pulling the backpack out. She crouched down on the ground as she unzipped it, spilling the contents out onto the ground. She sifted through all of it slowly, like some sort of crime scene detective.

There was the lunch box from the storage unit: it contained Ali's A ring, cash, a necklace, a few other trinkets that seemed sentimental. She set those aside. There was the flag piece, baby blue and soft, with girly drawings all over it. She knew why Ali wanted to keep this. There was also a crumpled up piece of paper, a Radley form or some kind of receipt. _Peter Hastings,_ it said. Emily stared at it, remembering Ali having picked it up, a hard to read expression on her face. He had paid for her hospital bill. Why would he do that? Were Spencer and Ali's parents having more than just an affair?

She set both of those items aside, too, not sure what the latter meant. The next she found was her own gift to Ali, the red coat, the play on their inside joke that they'd shared about Ali's black hoodie. She thought achingly about what she'd said to Ali, how the coat was red so that she could find her. She touched the hard corner of the box, thinking that finding her wasn't the problem now. She knew exactly where she was.

Emily closed her eyes before looking through the rest of the bag. She unzipped the front, feeling hard plastic, and pulled out Ali's new fake ID, the one she wanted from Caleb. It looked legit. The name read, _Vivian Darkbloom_ , and her hair was black. Emily gripped it roughly, resisting the urge to break it in half. The only other contents in the backpack were spare clothes, and at the bottom, Ali's burner phone. These were the only things in the world that Ali had planned on taking with her.

Emily slid the burner phone open, looking at the last several texts.

 **UNKNOWN to Caleb:** How long does it take to print a piece of plastic?  
 **Caleb to UNKNOWN:** This ID scans, it takes longer. But it's ready. Same spot tonight at 11.  
 **Caleb to UNKNOWN:** Well, how did it go?  
 **Caleb to UNKNOWN:** Alison, is everything okay?

Emily stared at the texts, looking at the time stamp. Caleb had given Ali the ID the night she had come over to Emily's house, the night Emily had turned her in. She must have seen him just before she'd seen Emily. Why did she come over at all? When she could've gotten away? Did she want the coat? Did she want to see Emily again? And, what did that _mean_ , "how did it go?"

Emily felt herself begin to fume. She dropped the burner phone on the floor, and moved back to her bed, grabbing her phone.

Caleb had messaged her several times in the last few days, odd messages like 'hey' or 'what's up', like he was checking on her or something. Emily had ignored them, but suddenly felt like she knew what they meant now. He knew about Alison, at least that she was Courtney's twin. And he'd known she was leaving town.

 **Emily to Caleb:** I need to talk to you. Come over. As soon as you get this.

* * *

Emily's door bell rang early the next day, before school. She bounded down the stairs and threw open the door, but she was surprised when she saw not only Caleb but Hanna, too.

"I told her," he said quickly, before Emily could get a word in. She shot him an aggravated look.

"I told him he was high," Hanna voiced skeptically, without missing a beat. "It's not true is it?"

Emily rolled her eyes, holding the door open for the two of them to come inside.

"Come on in," she said wryly. "My mom just left for work. But we'll need to go to school soon. I've been informed by _Ali_ that I'm not to miss any more class."

Hanna looked at her with a raised eyebrow like, _when did Ali start giving a shit_? But they all moved into the living room. Caleb and Hanna sat together, awkwardly on the couch, while Emily faced them in the sitting chair, averting her eyes.

"Well?" Hanna asked impatiently, pulling at her fingers in her lap. "Is it true? Are there really twins?"

Emily nodded at her, barely lifting her chin, still not totally sure how to talk about everything that had happened.

"Seriously?" Hanna said in disbelief and disgust. "Two fucking Alisons? Rosewood can hardly handle one."

"She's not—she's not like the Alison we know," Emily found herself saying, feeling strongly inclined to defend real Alison. "I mean—she is—but she's different. She's not like… Courtney."

"Courtney?" Hanna asked, both her eyes wide. "God, it's weird to hear you say her name, her real name, I guess."

The silence creeped over them again, Emily wondering what all Caleb had told Hanna that he hadn't even told Emily. She glared at him slightly and he looked back at her, somewhat guiltily.

"Does your mom have any booze?" Hanna asked brazenly, breaking Emily's thoughts.

"Hanna," Caleb said. "It's 7:30 in the morning."

"What? I feel like this conversation warrants a drink or two."

"Or five," Emily said, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling. Caleb lifted his eyebrows in surprise.

"See, even Emily wants to drink, and that's a first."

"We don't have any alcohol here, of course," Emily added morosely. "I would've found it by now. I didn't sleep at all last night."

Caleb looked slightly uncomfortable. He'd slung a backpack on the ground next to Emily's coffee table, and he started to reach for it.

"Well, I have something," he said enigmatically.

He slid a tall, glassy object out of his backpack, and Emily's eyes instantly darted to the label. It was the bottle of whiskey, the same one that Ali had brought to her house.

"Where did you get that?"

"Recognize it?" Caleb asked, reading her expression.

"Yeah," Emily said without elaborating.

"And you're just carrying around a bottle of whiskey in your backpack because?" Hanna asked. "Does someone have a problem?"

"I brought it to show Emily," he said defensively. "Alison, the real one, she gave it to me. She told me to check her fingerprints on it."

Emily reached for the bottle, taking it from Caleb. She opened it, to the surprise of both her friends, and looked down into the brown-gold liquid. She wondered if she'd still be able to taste Ali's lips on the rim. She shivered at the thought, considering actually taking a drink to find out. But she couldn't. Not when she was going to school with zero sleep. She closed it, handing it back to Caleb.

"So?" she said shortly, her mouth in a thin line. "The results?"

"Her story checks out. She's Alison DiLaurentis. Which means who we know is, in fact, Courtney."

Emily nodded, unsurprised. It made her feel a little better, but not much. She felt like she'd already known, maybe even believed Ali before she'd even talked to Courtney. But she glanced up at Caleb again, her gaze guarded.

"When did you find out about her?" she asked.

He blew out a stressed, nervous seeming sigh.

"When she asked for the ID, I talked to her at school about it, even though she told me not to. And she didn't remember our conversation, and was a real bitch, frankly. So, I did some digging. And found 'Courtney' at Radley. And I confronted her when we met up for the ID."

Emily narrowed her eyes.

"I told her to tell you who she was, Emily, I swear. I said if she didn't I would," he said, sounding sincere. "But I didn't hear back from her. And I saw in the Radley system that she was back at the hospital. And then... that the police had been to your house."

"If you knew who she was, why did you give her the ID?" Emily said angrily, ignoring what he'd said about the police, ignoring everything else.

"I—" Caleb started.

"She was obviously using it to run away, Caleb. You wanted her gone? We didn't even know her," Emily barked back, interrupting him.

"Why are you so upset, Em?" Hanna asked in a softer tone. "Caleb was obviously trying to help. What's been going on with you?"

Emily hadn't realized how upset she sounded or looked. It was just the thought of Ali running away... it had really gotten to her over the last few days. And, talking about it now, with anyone, was weird. Emily hadn't known how emotional she would be, it had been so long that Emily had kept this secret. She'd felt so alone, so lost, so confused. She'd definitely wanted to tell Hanna, at least a hundred times, in the last month. But now that they were talking about it, she didn't know what to do.

"There's just so much," Emily said, staring down at the floor, at the tiny carpet particles, picking hard at the arm of the sitting chair.

"So, start at the beginning," Caleb prompted. "How did you even meet Alison?"

"I went to Ali's—ugh—Courtney's house, when I first met Ali," Emily started reluctantly, rolling her eyes. "I was there to tell Courtney something. I told her," she said, feeling her throat tighten again. She felt tears oddly form.

"Oh my God," Hanna said, reaching across the coffee table and taking Emily's hand. "Emily, don't cry."

"I'll go get some Kleenex," Caleb said, glancing at the two girls, standing up.

"I'm sorry," Emily said thickly to Hanna, watching Caleb leave the room. "It's stupid."

"No, it isn't," Hanna assured her, rubbing her thumb across the back of Emily's hand.

"I told her I was in love with her," Emily rushed out, not wanting to linger too long on any of those words.

"But it wasn't Al—Courtney," Hanna said, clearly trying to get herself to get used to the new names, seemingly not bothered or very surprised by the other bombshell Emily had dropped.

Emily shook her head, relieved. "Right. It wasn't the right girl. It was Alison."

"Wow," Hanna said, clutching the brunette's hand tightly.

"Are you gay?" she added, in a slight whisper, after a few moments.

Emily was surprised by the question, by how easily Hanna asked it, a question that had been difficult for her to even ask herself. But Hanna had always been direct, saying what everyone was thinking, and it would've been Emily's question, too.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "Maybe."

"Did anything else… happen with her?" Hanna asked, a look of concern on her face.

Emily nodded, rolling her eyes, wiping her tears away.

"We kissed. And…"

"Wait," Hanna said slowly. "You did more than kiss?"

Emily didn't answer, quirking her eyebrow slightly.

"How far did you go?" Hanna said, unable to hide a small smile.

Emily still didn't answer.

"Okay," Hanna said, still leaning forward holding Emily's hand. She dropped it slightly, demonstrating with her hands. "I'm going to hold up a finger for each base, stop me when I get there."

"Really?" Emily said. "Bases, Hanna?"

Hanna ignored her, holding up one finger. When Emily didn't react, she shrugged slightly, then quickly held up a second. Emily still didn't react, pushing back against the chair. Hanna's eyes widened slightly. She held up a third finger. Emily still didn't move, watching her. Hanna's mouth fell open. She held up four fingers, and Emily still said nothing.

"Emily," she said, shocked, leaning forward and slapping her knee playfully. "You're supposed to wait to do that in college!"

Emily just looked despondently back at the ground, wishing she _had_ waited.

"Holy shit," Hanna continued, still amazed. "So... she's into you, too, then."

"I don't know," Emily said. "I guess."

"It wasn't a question," Hanna said with a small smile. "Why would she go that far if she wasn't?"

"That's not what bothers me," Emily said sadly. "She might've been into me, but I didn't know who she was. I thought she was Courtney the whole time."

Hanna heaved a great sighed, her eyes wide still. "Yeah, that's wild."

Caleb reentered the room, and Emily was secretly very grateful at the timing of his departure, hoping he hadn't heard anything she'd told Hanna. He handed her a box, and she took it, pulling a puffy white tissue out.

"Do they really look that identical that even _you_ wouldn't know the difference?" Hanna asked, having been thinking on this while Emily blew her nose.

"Yes," Emily answered darkly.

Hanna glanced at Caleb for confirmation. He shrugged, nodding in agreement.

"I had no idea," he said, shifting his attention back to Emily as he sat down. "When did you find out?"

"That day you gave her the ID, I guess. We'd already—" she said, shooting a furtive look at Hanna. "Well, that morning, I found her hospital tag."

"I'm sorry, Emily, I didn't know," Caleb apologized. "I would've told you."

"It's okay, Caleb. No one knew."

"No one?" Hanna asked.

"Maybe Jason," Emily said, touching the tissue to her eyes, her nose.

"That family," Hanna said derisively. "They deserve an Olympic medal in lying. He knew they'd switched?"

Emily shrugged. "Maybe."

Hanna scoffed. "Caleb told me about them switching in the car on the way over here. How Al-I mean, Courtney, tricked her sister back into Radley in her place. That's _wicked_."

"I know," Emily said gloomily. "Can you believe Courtney would do that?"

Hanna raised both eyebrows, clearly trying to imagine it. "I want to say no, but... I don't know. We barely know her, I guess. Which is crazy, we've spent the last four years with her."

A beat passed where Emily thought about uncomfortably tore are her tissue.

"There's more," Emily said, groaning. "I think she Ali was going to tell me, after she'd talked to you Caleb, but I already knew. Even before I found the hospital tag. I figured out it wasn't her... when I kissed Courtney."

"You KISSED Ali, too?" Hanna practically yelled. "God, I mean, Courtney. Wow, what happened after _that_?"

"What do you think happened?" Emily said back darkly.

She and Hanna shared a significant look.

"I can guess," Hanna said.

"After I kissed Courtney because I thought it was—well Ali—," Emily started, but couldn't quite find the words. "You know how Courtney has a way of making fun of you for things no one else will talk about?"

Hanna nodded, probably having been the most obvious victim of this tactic over the last four years.

"It was like that. She wasn't—I don't know. She started teasing me about it. Like immediately. Like she was making fun of me. Like what I'd done was something embarrassing, like I should be ashamed."

"I know," Hanna said, looking away from Emily for a moment. "It's like she doesn't want you to forget your weaknesses. Ever."

Emily nodded, thinking how she'd ignored Courtney doing that to Hanna in the past. Emily had always thought unconditional love, at least the type she'd had for Courtney, was overlooking all those things she did. Rationalizing her behavior. She'd thought maybe if she could love Courtney well enough, it could heal her. But she'd been wrong.

"You shouldn't be ashamed, though, you know what right?" Hanna said, catching the Emily's weighty expression.

"I know, I wasn't with Ali," she said, and it was true. Ali had never made her feel that way. Even at first, she had thanked her, had said she was flattered. "It's just—Ali's so different than Courtney. Sometimes I think... that maybe I knew Ali wasn't Courtney the whole time. Deep down. I think I saw the differences, but I wanted to believe... When I'd gone to Courtney's house—I'd never thought she'd return the way I felt. So, when she did... I didn't want to question it."

It still surprised Emily, what Ali had said at Radley. That she had feelings for Emily. It was hard for Emily to accept. But Ali _was_ different. Despite looking nearly identical, Ali wasn't as guarded and mysterious as Courtney, she wasn't reputation obsessed, she wasn't overtly domineering. Ali had told her, no qualms, exactly how she felt and exactly what she wanted from Emily. Ali answered all of her questions, mostly while smiling and joking. She'd never seemed irritated with Emily. Except, maybe, when Emily had talked about Courtney.

"Do you think that's why Courtney yelled at me that day? Why she's been such a bitch lately?" Hanna asked, looking pensive. "Does she know something's up?"

"Probably. We did take a ring of hers. But she doesn't know Ali's gotten out, Jason never told her or her parents."

"Wow," Hanna said again.

"She said she got anonymous texts, too," Caleb added.

Emily thought of Ali with her burner phone, texting someone in the car after they'd seen her Mrs. D and Mr. Hastings.

"I can check her phone, but, yeah, it was probably Ali."

They sat there again in a long silence, Caleb and Hanna clearly trying to process all of what Emily had told them.

"I know this is, like, basics," Hanna started. "But I still can't even believe she even has a twin. I kind of want to meet her," she said, glancing at Emily.

"Do you want us to come to Radley with you?" Caleb said, more action-focused. "What do you want to do, Emily?"

"I don't know what to do," Emily said weakly. "What _should_ I do?"

"Well, do you still like her?" Hanna asked.

"Courtney?" Emily asked, slightly disconcerted. Thinking about it, she realized she couldn't even tap into those emotions she'd had for Courtney any more. Not after she'd rejected her. Not after she'd felt like she'd seen who she really was, when she'd lied directly to her face.

"No dummy, Ali," Hanna said.

"Oh," Emily said after a beat. "I don't know. I feel like I don't even know her."

"Well, what about the times when she was herself?" Hanna prompted.

Emily tried to think of those times. She thought of Ali's daring smile. Ali's hand holding hers when she'd called her 'Killer.' The way she'd teased her at the kissing rock, her hands over her eyes. How she pushed back her car seat with that a hint of mischief in her eye. The way Emily had kissed her back in her bedroom, even when she knew who she was. Ali's look of concern as she traced Emily's bruise. _If I could keep you_ _,_ she thought.

"Yeah," Emily said, not sure how to articulate any of those things, but knowing what they probably meant.

"Well, we could break her out," Caleb suggested. "That place was way too easy to hack. I could make a badge."

"You want to help her?" Emily asked, somewhat surprised.

"I guess that's why I gave her the ID," he said looking down guiltily. "It doesn't seem right that she's stuck in there. And it seems like no one has her back. Maybe Courtney's the crazy one."

"Would explain a lot," Hanna said derogatorily.

"She told me she put Courtney in there originally," Emily said, having held onto this information, not wanting to make Ali look any worse. But it had bothered her. "How is she any better than her?"

Caleb shrugged. "Maybe she's not. But Courtney is free and she has Ali's life. It doesn't seem fair. I mean, look at me. Everyone deserves a second chance."

Emily thought about that, about how it was unfair that Courtney's freedom should come at the cost of Ali's. Couldn't they both be free? But how could they possibly get her out?

"We could get in a lot of trouble," Emily said.

"Then, we'll have to be smart," Hanna appealed. "Meaning… Caleb will have to plan it."

"Oh, thanks," he said sarcastically.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me this for _days_ , babe," Hanna said, tickling him. Caleb squirmed, grabbing Hanna's wrist to stop her. She smiled sweetly at him and gave him an innocent kiss.

Emily watched them, a familiar tinge of jealousy shafting through her. She envied their relationship, how they'd found each other. When she'd been dating Ben, she'd wanted what they had. She'd thought something was wrong with her, that she didn't feel about Ben the way Hanna had felt about Caleb. But Ali had showed her that nothing was wrong with her, that she could feel those things.

"I'll talk to her," Emily said. "I'll go tomorrow. Alone for now," she said, motioning to Hanna, who looked disappointed, pouting.

And as Emily, Hanna, and Caleb left for school, despite the distance, Emily felt the strong pull of Alison's gravity again.

 **Well, we know where Emily is going! How receptive will Alison be to the idea of breaking out and leaving Rosewood? What about confronting Courtney about switching back?  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Happy to get an update out! Only 29 days! Also, to answer some review questions, there will be 15 chapters of this story. I try to update once a week, at most, every two weeks. But it'll also have an epilogue that I want to release when Sara Shepard publishes her Emison fanfiction in June. So, it won't be "completed" until after that. Let me know what you think of the chapter!

* * *

Ali had over analyzed everything she'd said since Emily had left, running through their conversation over and over, hundreds of times. She'd wish she could take it all back one moment, then say it all again in the next. Why? Because Emily deserved to hear those things about Courtney, she deserved to know the truth. Sure, Ali might've lied about being her sister for a few weeks, but Courtney had lied about being Ali for several years. No one even knew who she was under that hard "Ali" husk, especially not Emily.

But, then again, she'd wanted to take it all back because… had she been too mean, too sharp? She'd wanted to tear down Emily's idyllic view of her twin, expose Courtney for the monster she was. But Emily had looked devastated, leading Ali to think that maybe she had done it a little too eagerly, a little too well. Maybe ruining Courtney for Emily had been cruel and selfish. Emily deserved happiness, too, after all. Did Ali really want to be right at the expense of that happiness?

So, she'd struggled constantly between whether she'd done the right thing or not. But after waiting and waiting for Emily to come back and visit her, Ali started to think she had definitely done the wrong thing. And, then, the decision was easy. She'd take it all back if it meant hearing from Emily again.

But she didn't.

She felt angry, sad, confused. She was also kind of surprised, shocked even that Emily didn't just believe her, didn't immediately choose her over Courtney. While it hadn't always been true at Radley, she was still Alison DiLaurentis. And Alison was used to getting what she wanted. And here she was, wanting Emily, and not getting her. It was confounding. Especially after she'd been direct and told Emily how she felt. Ali had told her she _loved_ her, for Christ's sake. Or she almost had. She had laid everything out on the line. She'd thought that would change things, help Emily to forgive her. But Emily hadn't forgiven her. And now that it had been days, days that felt like weeks, Ali reasonably assumed that Emily had left her like everyone else, and she wasn't coming back. Emily didn't want anything to do with her.

These thoughts tore at her as she lay motionless on her bed, afternoon sun spilling across her legs. She was unable to read, but also unable to sleep. She touched the necklace at her throat. She thought about throwing it away, throwing it off the roof, but what if someone found it? What if somehow Emily found it again? She hadn't been lying when she'd told Emily she would have to pry the necklace off her dead body if she wanted it back. Because she had a good idea who Emily would give it to instead. And she'd die before seeing it around Courtney's neck.

Ali seethed with envy, thinking about that. In Emily's pronounced absence, jealousy had been eating her alive. She'd been bluffing when she'd implied Courtney didn't have feelings for Emily. For all she knew, Courtney _did_ like Emily back, why wouldn't she? And, of course, Emily still loved _her_ , wanted to be with _her_.

She closed her eyes and imagined, for about the 25th time, Emily confronting Courtney about what Ali had told her. She saw Courtney gingerly taking Emily's hand and calmly convincing her that Ali was crazy, using all the soft words and right moves, unlike Ali herself, who had been too mean and abrasive. Maybe Courtney would even tell her that their kiss meant something, her eyes lingering on Emily's lips. And, then, Emily would believe her, would relight the fire of her devotion. She'd forget all about Ali, move past everything that had happened. They'd laugh on their dates, in the school courtyard. Laugh at Ali and how stupid she was. _C was for Conniving_ , Ali thought. _A was for An Idiot._

She pulled hard at the chain around her neck, feeling it cut into her skin. It felt like a literal knife in her heart to imagine the two of them getting together, being together. But Courtney was free. Courtney was Emily's best friend. Courtney wasn't a mental patient. Of course Emily would never choose Ali, she'd been a fool to think so. Hadn't she come to learn yet that Courtney always won? Ali wished she could go back in time and never have talked to Emily at all if it meant it would spare her the pain and rejection she felt now.

Before she knew it, her feet were carrying her into the hallway, towards the rec room. She had to do something. Had to escape somehow, if only for a little while.

She sidled up to the piano, resting the pads of her fingertips on the wooden cover. This piano certainly wasn't as nice as the one sitting in her living room. But beggars could never be choosers at Radley. It might be twice as old as she was and not totally in tune, but it was all she had.

She sat down at it, ignoring the other patients in the room, and began to play. She played for several minutes, feeling the flow of the music. It was a rendition of a movie score from a CD a nurse had given her, but she was adding her own twists and overtures. She was imagining Emily. Kissing Emily. Emily leaving her at Radley. Emily kissing Courtney. She was imagining the way the roof looked when she'd stood on the ledge a month ago. She imagined her branch, instead, and saw herself running away. Far, far away from Rosewood, never coming back. No one even remembering she'd ever been here at all.

She was imagining all of that, and more, trying to pour her feelings into the song. She'd gotten lost in it, closing her eyes, when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't stop playing or look up immediately, assuming it was one of the nurses, about to tell her she was getting carried away. That it was too loud, disrupting the other patients, that she needed to stop.

But it wasn't a nurse. When she opened her eyes, she was met with soft, kind chocolate brown ones, a blanket of straight black hair framing a pretty face. It was Emily.

"Emily," Ali said in a breath, wondering for a moment if somehow her play had summoned her, not totally sure if she was real. Her fingers hesitated over the keys.

But Ali felt the pressure of Emily's fingers on her shoulder as the brunette continued to look down at her, a metal fan behind her blowing cool air across her face. This was real. Emily was really there.

Ali stood from the piano, Emily's hand sliding off her shoulder to fall at her side.

"You came back," she said, still amazed.

Emily nodded shyly, looking around the room with slight discomfort. Ali noticed for the first time that a small crowd had formed around the piano. Maybe they'd been listening to her play? There were at least a dozen eyes on them, and it made Ali uncomfortable, too. She didn't want her reunion with Emily to have an audience.

So, Ali grabbed Emily's hand, pulling her out of the rec room and back towards her suite. Emily followed quickly as they approached, Ali dragging Emily inside and shutting the door behind her.

They stood there awkwardly for a moment, Ali still holding her hand. Then, Ali couldn't resist any longer, she pulled Emily into a tight embrace, pressing one hand against her shoulder blades, wrapping another around her neck. All she had wanted the past week was to feel and touch and smell her again. And now it was happening. And, after a few seconds, Emily finally relaxed and hugged Ali back, her hands encircling Ali's waist.

Ali breathed in deep at the spot behind Emily's ear, the spot she had marked, the spot that was hers. She loved Emily's scent. Emily felt warm in her arms, her hair soft as it touched Ali's jaw. She pulled back slightly, wanting to gauge Emily's reaction, with the unintended effect that their faces were now close. Very close. Emily looked stunned, her lips slightly parted, her cheeks lightly colored. Ali's eyes grazed over Emily's full lashes, her thick hair, her kissable lips. She lifted one hand to Emily's face, running her fingers along her smooth, soft cheek. Emily took a shaky breath at the intimate action, but she didn't push Ali away. So, Ali lifted her other hand to cup both sides of her face, Emily's arms still wrapped around her, and started to move towards her lips, her mouth.

But Emily stiffened abruptly, pulling back in a jerky motion. She moved both hands to Ali's wrists, pulling them away.

"I'm sorry," Ali whispered, suddenly feeling stupid, not knowing what possessed her to try and kiss Emily.

Pressing her tongue hard against the back side of her teeth, she pulled her wrists out of Emily's grip, unable to make eye contact with the brunette. She felt rejected all over again, everything she'd come to believe over the last week rushing back in, like a bucket of cold ice water. Of course, Emily didn't want to kiss her. She was probably here to call her a liar. She was probably going to tell her she was with Courtney now.

Her cheeks felt red with embarrassment, hot, something in her chest painfully clenched. She swallowed as she moved away to the window, trying to hide how crushed she was.

"Ali," Emily called to her.

"I said I was sorry," she reemphasized, not wanting to be chastised.

"You don't have to be sorry," Emily said, with a slightly pleading tone.

But Ali still didn't want to look at her, so she clutched the window sill roughly, forcing herself to look out over the vast, green forest instead.

"It's okay if—" she started, shakily, a knot in her throat. "It's okay if you don't have feelings for me like that, Emily. You can just tell me."

"I didn't say that—that's not what I meant—" Emily started, but Ali suddenly didn't want to hear an explanation. Didn't want to know exactly how her rejection was going to be phrased.

"Why did you come here? What do you want?" she said cutting Emily off, spinning to look at her. If she was going to tell her that she was with Courtney and she didn't believe her, she might as well get to it.

"I—," Emily started, looking pained, recoiling slightly. "I just wanted to see you."

Ali softened slightly at that, but turned away again anyway, looking back out the window. She didn't want to look weak. She didn't want to feel hopeful.

"How long do I get?" Emily asked gently. Her tone threatened to melt Ali, but she refused to give in.

"I don't know," she answered. "At least an hour, sometimes more."

There was a lingering pause as Ali picked at some chipping paint, pulling off a long white flake with the edge of her fingernail.

"That song was really pretty," she heard Emily say behind her.

"How long were you listening?" Ali asked distantly, going for another paint piece.

"I could hear it down the hallway. Maybe a minute. How did you learn it?"

Ali shrugged, looking down at her fingernails, inspecting her cuticles. They'd seen better days. She removed some traces of paint debris with her other nail.

"It's not exactly like we have YouTube in here," she said. "By ear, I guess. One of the nurses gave me a CD."

"A CD?" Emily asked, sounding joking. "I don't even think I own a CD player anymore."

"Well, Radley's still stuck in the 90's. CD's are pretty cutting edge," Ali said tersely.

She hazarded a glance at Emily, who had put her hands in her pockets, eyeing Ali uneasily as the blonde gazed at her.

"Courtney doesn't play piano, does she?" she asked quietly.

"Courtney?" Ali said questioningly, noting the use of her sister's actual name. She'd missed it earlier when Emily had called her 'Ali.' "So, you believe me?"

"Yes," Emily said after a beat. "I believe you."

Ali couldn't help but smile slightly, feeling a glimmer of hope. Even though it was hope she wanted to squash, for fear that it would only lead to more pain.

"No," Ali answered her earlier question. "She doesn't play."

"Why couldn't you use that to prove it to your parents?" Emily asked.

"I tried," she said, feeling exasperation at the memory. "My mom thought I'd just learned it to prove I was her. Like I could've really learned to play piano like that in here."

"Well, you're really good," Emily admitted quietly after a moment's pause.

Ali liked hearing the compliment, basked in it. She watched Emily, wondering why Emily hadn't let her kiss her earlier and, frankly, wanting to try again. But Emily only stood there, looking down, fidgeting slightly, before she said, "I brought you something."

This piqued Ali's curiosity as she watched Emily put her purse down on Ali's bed, digging through it. She then turned back to the blonde, holding out a few bottles of nail polish in her hand.

The small smile Ali had been wearing brightened as she looked down. Emily had a selection of polish colors; blue, green, red, pink, and orange.

"I remembered you don't like yellow. But I didn't know… what your favorite color was, so I brought a few."

Ali continued to smile. "No, not yellow. I like the orange though, I like coral."

Ali motioned Emily to a table by the window. It was small, only for two people, and it wasn't fancy, just a plastic table top and two metal chairs. They sat across from each other, and Emily took Ali's left hand in hers after twisting the top off of the nail polish. She started carefully painting Ali's thumb, Ali could feel her trembling slightly.

"I'm not the best at this, my friends would definitely do better," Emily explained. "But it's better than nothing."

She stuck her tongue out slightly as she concentrated, moving in broad, cautious strokes. It was cute, Ali smiled slightly again.

"Do you like it when my nails are done?" she inquired curiously.

"You have pretty hands," Emily said distractedly back, not taking her eyes away from them, her lip quirking up slightly as she said it. Ali could feel her holding her hand still, so gently, like she was made of glass. Emily's hands were warm, too, she liked that. Whereas the polish felt cool through her nail and tickled slightly.

"Me?" Ali asked with a pause, unable to fully stop herself. "Or Courtney?"

Emily glanced up at her, levelling Ali with a slightly perturbed gaze. A gaze that said, _I'm not doing her nails in Radley Sanitarium, am I?_

"You could've told me, you know," Emily said instead, looking back down at Ali's nails, not answering her question. "In the beginning. You didn't have to lie."

"You wouldn't have believed me," Ali said back with certainty.

"You don't know that," Emily quietly argued. She dipped the brush back into the bottle for more polish.

"You were there to tell your precious Courtney that you were in love with her," Ali persevered, slightly harshly. "You would've done anything she said, _Killer_."

At the use of her nickname, Emily's eyes flickered back up to Ali's.

"And she would've told you I was crazy," she continued, tilting her head. "You probably would've marched me back to Radley yourself, if it meant winning her favor."

Ali watched Emily clench her jaw. She didn't mean to sound so acidic, so jealous, but she was sure she was right. After a second, Emily looked back down at Ali's index finger, painting it over in one long, unbroken brush. There was a long minute of silence.

"Do you ever get to leave Radley?" Emily asked, changing the subject. "Well, I mean, legally," she added with another disapproving glance.

"I have out privileges—well, I did. We'd go to UPenn. But my mom was always with me."

"UPenn?" Emily asked. "You take college classes?"

"Yeah, I don't know if you know, Em," she said using her nickname, trying to execute a look of obnoxious overconfidence. "But I'm pretty smart."

"Too smart, I think," Emily said back wryly, expertly painting the pinky nail on Ali's right hand, looking pleased with herself.

As Emily moved on to her other hand, Ali realized that while she had missed Emily, she had _really_ missed flirting with her. She hadn't liked their last conversation, their argument. She'd missed joking and teasing with the brunette. She'd missed making Emily blush. Thinking about it, Ali twisted her ankle around Emily's under the table, bringing her leg between hers. Emily glanced at her, but didn't pull it away or say anything. Ali was relieved.

"So, if you've been in here since 9th grade, do you have any friends?" she asked.

"Not really," Ali responded, not relishing the answer. "The normal-er people, they get to leave. So, the ones who stay… there aren't a lot of girls like me."

"Sounds lonely," Emily commented, a slight frown on her face.

"It is," Ali said back.

"So, you've never—you haven't met anyone in here?" Emily asked again, seemingly cool, but Ali could tell she was trying a little too hard to sound casual.

"Are you asking if I've gone on any dates?" she asked with the ghost of a smirk.

Emily's eyes flickered up again, confirming Ali's suspicions.

"No, Emily," she said, but then added, correcting herself, "well, one."

"When?" Emily asked, a little too quickly.

"She got me a white mocha," Ali replied, her smirk fully blooming.

Ali thought about how sweet that had been of Emily, when they were in the town square meeting up with Caleb. It had been such a treat for Ali, especially after Emily implied it was a date. She smiled fondly at Emily thinking about it, but Emily didn't look up. In fact, she looked sad to Ali.

"Was any of it real for you?" she said evenly, starting to paint the thumb of Ali's left hand..

It kind of hurt Ali's feelings that Emily had to ask her that, after everything Ali had told her. But she'd broken Emily's trust, after all. Maybe Emily would never believe her again. But shet had to try.

"Of course, Em," she said simply.

Emily still didn't look at her, blowing softly on her finished left hand. Ali watched the purse of her lips, too closely perhaps, the tickling sensation of Emily's breath hitting her in more places than one. Under the table, she pulled Emily's foot closer to her.

Then, Emily surprised Ali by rolling her eyes, but with a smile, as she dipped the brush into the polish for a second coat on her right hand.

"I can't believe I fell for you telling me not to talk to you at school," she said, making Ali happy that she was joking again.

"You're very trusting," Ali tried to tease back at her.

But it seemed like the wrong thing to say as Emily's smile fell.

"Do you think that's why Courtney liked me?" Emily asked quietly after a pause. "Because she knew I would trust her? Because I'm gullible?"

It was a strangely vulnerable question, Ali realized. She wanted to be careful in her response. Ali didn't think Emily was gullible, per say, but she did think Emily's dedication, sincerity, and loyalty were a huge part of why her sister was close friends with her. But she didn't know how to phrase that without making Emily sad.

"No, she probably liked you," Ali began, coming up with a good pivot, "because you already had a huge thing for me."

Emily looked at her, noticing Ali's kittenish expression. She did a small smile back, realizing Ali was joking with her.

"I did _not_ ," she asserted, finishing Ali's index finger.

"Yes, you did," Ali insisted, curling her foot slightly up Emily's ankle. She felt Emily shift, watching her cheeks blush as she looked up, locking eyes with Ali. "I remember the way you looked at me in 8th grade."

"We weren't even friends," Emily argued, but it sounded noncommittal.

"Biggest mistake I ever made," Ali responded flirtily.

She continued to massage Emily's calf with her foot, watching Emily squirm. In her distraction, Emily slightly nicked the skin of her pinky with polish.

"Sorry," she said, wiping it away with her fingernail.

Ali stopped the motion, satisfied with the effect she still had on Emily, allowing Emily to concentrate again.

"If you think about it, though," Emily said, opening up the clear coat polish. "You would've never been friends with me if it weren't for her."

Ali's self satisfaction faded as she looked away, hating to give Courtney credit for anything.

"What's the deal with you and her anyway?" Emily continued, giving Ali the sense that she'd been slowly working her way up to this question. "Why did you lie about her hurting you?"

"I don't know," Ali said with a frustrated sigh, not wanting to talk about it, having never really talked to anyone about it. But she didn't have a choice. She wanted Emily to trust her again.

"We were always competing," she started, trying to find the right words to describe everything. "We fought a lot."

She paused, staring down at her hand on the table, feeling Emily delicately apply the second coat on her left hand.

"I know this won't sound good. But... she was easy to push around. I thought I could do whatever I wanted. I was a bully, I'm sure you remember," Ali said, looking at Emily. Emily merely raised her eyebrows, not looking up.

"You used to call me Seaweed," she mentioned quietly. "Because my hair was always wet from swimming."

Ali frowned, having not remembered that. "I'm sorry."

But while she was sorry, she wasn't surprised. Ali used to love giving people nicknames, both flattering and unflattering. Until people regularly called her "Crazy Courtney." She hadn't appreciated that and, as she'd gotten older, it felt even more stupid and childish to keep doing it.

Emily only shrugged at Ali's apology.

"It was a long time ago," she said. "Then what?"

"Well," Ali answered, feeling resistant to continue. "I bullied her, I guess. It made me feel better for… sometimes I thought people liked her better than me." She tried not to stare at Emily too pointedly.

"I used to make her pretend to be me. Dare her to do bad things, but blame me. Then I'd convince our parents it was really her, that she was lying."

Emily looked up briefly at Ali, opening up the clear nail polish while her hands dried. Her expression was unreadable, but Ali knew she was probably not happy with what she was hearing.

"Is that why no one believes you here?"

"Yeah," Ali said unhappily. "It was part of Courtney's prognosis that she tried to impersonate me. It didn't help when they dragged me here that I was screaming my head off about being the real Alison. It was pretty brilliant of Courtney, actually."

Emily said nothing, beginning the clear coat application.

"So, one day," Ali continued. "I intentionally picked on her. I made her upset when I knew my parents were downstairs. She jumped on me, she had her hands around my throat, squeezing, right when my parents came in. I told them she tried to kill me. But I knew she hadn't really, she was just pissed."

Emily glanced up at her, her eyes widened faintly.

"It was stupid, all of it. I was just… young and jealous. I didn't think they'd actually send her away, but they did."

She opened her mouth to go on, but found she couldn't. She didn't want Emily to judge her even more, to know _everything_. She couldn't add that she'd been scared that her parents wouldn't love her if she'd told the truth about what she did. That she'd been afraid that they'd side with nicer, sweet Courtney over her. And then, the worst part… she didn't even feel that bad about it at the time. It was _nice_ when Courtney was gone. She felt like her family was more peaceful. There wasn't so much cat fighting and back stabbing. Everything felt right, as it should be, as it always should've been.

She only felt guilty later when she was at Radley, living Courtney's miserable life.

"That's awful, Alison," Emily finally commented, confirming Ali's fears. She sounded disappointed, painting the last nail of her right hand slowly. "I can't believe you did that."

"Believe me, I wish I hadn't," Ali said defensively back. "I created my own worst enemy. I'd do anything for the last four years of my life back."

And it was true. Of all the things she wished she could take back, lying about Courtney was at the top of her list. It was her biggest regret.

"Did you bully her again when you escaped?" Emily asked, setting Ali's hand down, as she switched to the left.

Ali was slightly stunned at Emily's question. Why would she ask that?

"What?"

"Did you leave her anonymous messages?" Emily clarified impatiently. "Did you try to scare her?"

Alison opened and closed her mouth. How did Emily know about that? Did she talk to Courtney?

"She was being mean to you at school," she tried to defend.

"It wasn't just then," Emily countered. "What about the one with Mr. Hastings?"

"You went through my phone?" Ali accused, feeling her cheeks get hot again.

"Yes," Emily said without hesitation. Ali clenched her teeth.

"She needed to know about him," Ali conceded. "It involved her too. He's our dad."

Emily's expression looked surprised for a moment. But only a moment before she quickly recovered. "But it still got her out of the house so you could steal that ring back. And you called her a liar."

"Isn't she?" Ali indicted.

Emily still gazed judgmentally back at her. Ali merely shrugged.

"So, did she know it was me? Does she know I escaped?" she asked, trying to seize her opportunity to ask about their 'talk' again.

Emily looked down at the table top, at the clear polish, clearly loath to discuss it.

"No," she said simply.

"But you talked to her, you said," Ali continued to needle.

"I talked to her, but we didn't talk about that."

Ali raised her eyebrows, inviting Emily to continue. Emily sighed frustratedly.

"She asked me about kissing her," she said quickly.

"And?" Ali asked reluctantly.

"She doesn't feel that way about me, if that's what you want to know," Emily spat quickly with an annoyed glance at Ali. She withdrew her foot from between Ali's legs.

Ali missed the touch immediately, guessing their 'kiss talk' hadn't gone well. Despite clearly having upset Emily, she desperately wanted more details. What did that mean, 'she doesn't feel that way about me?' Did Emily still feel 'that way' about her?

"Why weren't you ever embarrassed about liking me?" Emily asked, surprising Ali while she'd been composing her next question. The brunette dropped her eyes again, looking hurt and exposed, finishing the coat on her left hand.

"Why would I be embarrassed?" Ali asked, confused, spreading her fingers out to dry.

"You know what I'm asking," Emily said slightly under her breath.

Ali was still perplexed by the question. She took a wild guess. "Like… about us being girls?"

Emily said nothing, still staring morosely at the table, so Ali figured she was right.

"I'm not embarrassed," she simply reemphasized. "Radley taught me not to take anything for granted. And, also look in the mirror, Em. You're hotter than any guy I've ever met. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

Ali moved her hand over Emily's as she said it, careful not to mark her wet nails. Emily visibly relaxed, smiling slightly at her, looking down at their fingers.

"Was she… embarrassed by it?" she added, trying not to seem too eager to know.

"I guess," Emily said. "She's acting like it's some sort of secret she can lord over me."

Ali sighed. Courtney was such a dick.

"Well, she's stupid," she settled with saying instead.

Emily's smile faded a bit. She seemed to be holding something back, biting her lip slightly.

"Were you going to run away?" she asked suddenly, Ali feeling her fingers flex slightly against hers.

Ali had expected this question after Emily confessed to going through her phone. But she wasn't expecting how hurt Emily looked, how afraid. She felt bad about it.

"I was going to tell you," she said weakly.

"Are you still going to?" Emily asked. "Run away?"

"Why, Em?" Ali countered her question with a question. She didn't want to lie. While she didn't know what she wanted to do yet, necessarily, running away wasn't off the table.

Emily seemed to take the questions as a 'yes' anyway, pressing her lips together firmly.

"If you still want to leave," she started. "We can break you out."

"We?" Ali asked. Who all knew about her?

"Me and Caleb. And Hanna."

"Hanna," Ali said, recognizing the name. "She knows about me, too?"

"Yeah, Caleb told her."

"Who is she?"

"One of my best friends," Emily replied. "She's dating Caleb, they tell each other everything. He can make you an employee badge. We can meet you here with a car. We can take you to a bus or train station, wherever you want to go."

Ali was shocked to hear all of this. Emily had clearly spent some time formulating this plan. But then, Ali thought about never seeing her family, her house again. Never seeing Emily again. She didn't like the idea, but anything was better than Radley.

"But, you know, Ali, I was thinking," Emily said slowly. Alison watched her long lashes, her angular jaw tighten.

"What?" she asked.

"You don't _have_ to leave," Emily finished.

Ali looked at her questioningly. "They're going to look for me if I escape again. And your house will be the first stop."

"But what if we can get Courtney to admit who she is?"

Ali huffed. "She is never going to do that."

"Maybe she's only worried that they'll lock her up again," Emily continued more hopefully. "But you'd have to admit what you did, too. That you lied about her being crazy."

Ali squeezed Emily's hand before pulling it away across the table, feeling annoyed at the proposition. She didn't want to snap at Emily, so instead she looked at her beautiful nail color. Emily did a pretty good job.

"Like she must feel trapped too," Emily continued after Ali didn't respond. "She's been living a lie, having such a big secret. It's a burden. You could both be free."

"She'd never switch back," Ali said darkly. "No one wants to be 'Courtney.'"

"We could get rid of the evidence, Caleb could hack the files. Or maybe Spencer's parents could even get it legally expunged. Seal your, or her, medical record."

"Mr. Hastings does owe us one," Ali thought aloud. She hadn't found a way to blackmail him or her mother with their affair yet. But even if she did, Courtney would still never switch back with her. She hated Alison too much.

"It would still never work," she added.

"Why?" Emily said with a down turned frown.

"You just don't know Courtney like I do."

"I may not have grown up with her," Emily refuted. "But, now, I know her better than you, and I think there's a chance."

Ali had to admit that Emily _was_ one of Courtney's closest friends. If she thought they had a chance, maybe they did. Or was Emily just being idealistic?

"What can it hurt?" Emily continued to argue. "If she says no, we can still break you out. I want you to be free, Ali, but..." she took her hand across the table again, it surprised Alison.

"I don't want you to leave," she said sincerely.

It thawed Ali's resolve. Maybe Emily _did_ like her after all.

"Really?" she asked.

"I mean," Emily said, looking self-conscious after her admission. "I want to get to know you. The real you."

Ali did want to get to know Emily, too. After everything, she wanted that more than ever. But did she want it more than her freedom? Courtney would _never_ switch back. And then she would know Ali had gotten out, _and_ that she knew Emily. Surely, she would use that against Alison.

"I want to go on a date," Emily continued, her eyes brighter, interrupting Ali's bleak thoughts. "Not just coffee. An actual date."

Ali couldn't help but smile at that. She imagined what they would do. Dinner? Movies? A picnic in the park? All the normal things a girl her age should get excited about. All the things she'd never allowed herself to hope for. But Emily made it sound possible.

"I do too," Ali said, tracing a pattern on the inside of Emily's palm. When Emily smiled back, Ali wanted to kiss her again.

But unfortuitously, a nurse knocked on the door at that moment, bringing Ali's thoughts back to her current dilemma, her current prison.

"Visitation is over in five minutes, Courtney," the nurse said, cracking the door. Ali nodded, and the nurse ducked back out of the room. Ali rolled her eyes.

"I should go," Emily said, standing. Ali followed her, looking down at her hands, appreciating her nails again.

Emily paused just in front of Ali's bookshelf, though, looking at it like she had before. And, like last time, it looked like she was looking at Ali's copy of Great Expectations.

"You like that book, huh?" Ali asked, stepping up behind Emily, close enough to pick up traces of Emily's scent again. Emily brushed her hand across the spine.

"We had to read it in school," she said softly.

"It's one of my favorites. The idea that all your expectations for yourself are doomed," Ali quipped, smiling sarcastically at Emily.

"But Pip gets Estella in the end," Emily argued lightly.

"Did you know there were two endings?" Ali asked, slipping the book out of the shelf. It was an older edition her mom had bought for her a few years ago. She and Emily gazed at the faded cover thoughtfully, Emily shaking her head.

"He doesn't end up with her in the original ending."

Emily took the book from her, sliding it back into its spot. She turned and stared into the blonde's eyes, their faces close.

"Happy endings do exist, Ali," she said, and Ali could feel her minty breath on her lips.

Her attention wavered between Emily's mouth and her eyes. Again, she wanted to kiss her, but she didn't want to get freshly rejected. _No,_ she thought. _Happy endings didn't exist._ She sighed.

"We can talk to Courtney about it if you really think it'll work. But… do you still have my crime hoodie? We're going to need it when she tries to burn this place down."

"Yeah, I still have it," Emily said with a slight smile. "It smells like you."

"And what does that smell like?" Ali couldn't help but ask flirtatiously, inclining her head slightly.

But Emily suddenly pulled her close, pressing her body against hers, wrapping her arms tightly around Ali's back. She buried her face in Ali's hair, and smelled her in the same way Ali had done to Emily earlier. It gave Ali goosebumps.

"The best," Emily breathed into her ear. "I miss you."

But before Ali could respond or really savor the moment, Emily pulled away, wrenching open the door. "I'll be back tomorrow," she said, pausing. "Hopefully with Courtney."

 **The showdown is next! Emily confronts Courtney and convinces her to visit Ali at Radley. But how? Will it work out? Or is it too late?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** To some of you who have talked/asked about Courtney, I do envision her a lot like original, flashback Alison from the show. I'm trying to characterize that she does care about her friends, albeit not always in the best ways. She likes Emily's attention/love (like flashback Ali in the show), they have, after all, been friends for four years, and Emily is/was her favorite. Hopefully this helps explain a bit of her reaction below.

Also, I'm so sorry this chapter took longer! Hopefully, two weeks is the longest it ever takes to get a chapter out. Again, thank you for all the reviews! I really love hearing what you all think. I laughed when SpobyAF mentioned that my last chapter was just 5,000 words about a mani/pedi. Touche!

* * *

The drive home from Radley seemed shorter and shorter to Emily, not nearly long enough to process everything that seemed to happen while she was there. And a _lot_ had happened this time; Ali's poignant piano play, their near kiss, her confession, Ali agreeing to let Emily talk to Courtney, and Emily hugging, smelling her when she left. So, when she got home after only a few minutes of silence on the road, she parked, turned the engine off, and sat in her car. She sat rigidly, uncomfortably, pulling at her fingers as she became increasingly more nervous.

She had no idea what to do next. She'd told Ali she'd talk to Courtney, get her to come to Radley the next day, but… how was she supposed to _do_ that? How was she supposed to convince Courtney DiLaurentis, both adored and feared mean girl of Rosewood Day to help her sister? A sister that she had personally imprisoned?

Emily was at a loss. Sitting there, she wanted to think she could do it and, being with Ali earlier, anything had seemed possible. But, truthfully, she hadn't been sure how realistic it was, and she'd had no game plan. She'd just desperately wanted to avoid the alternative. The world where Ali ran away. The world where Emily would have to lie to the police, who would surely come knocking at her door. Where Courtney would inevitably find out and stop talking to her, their four years of friendship broken. And, worse, the press might catch wind of the story and make the DiLaurentis family the center of a media frenzy. What if Ali's parents thought something bad had happened to her? What if something bad _did_ happen to her? What if they thought Emily had something to do with it, what if they blamed her?

She couldn't stand the thought of it. She wanted the world where Ali was safe, where Emily could get to know her, where no one had to get hurt, where everyone could be happy. Why couldn't she have that?

But as the minutes slowly ticked by, Emily suspected that she couldn't have it for the same reason that she couldn't win the lottery: the statistical probability was negligible, thousandeths of a point, none. And why? Because to get the world she wanted, Emily would have to get Courtney to _willingly_ reveal her lie, which would never happen. In fact, it almost seemed _less_ likely than winning the lottery.

She wracked her brain, trying to think of other solutions. What if… maybe Emily could team up with someone. Someone like Spencer. Spencer always had a plan, and she knew how to compete with Courtney best. A life time of struggling with Melissa had taught her that. How to be great at chess. How to have angles, points of entry, how to think fifteen moves in advance. But Emily shook her head in the darkness, thinking if they approached Courtney together, if Courtney thought Spencer knew, she'd be even less willing to cooperate. She'd keep lying, go rogue, drop them all as friends, let Ali rot. So, that wouldn't work.

It left Emily with her _only_ other strategy. Her only move. The Emily Fields. It was the path of least resistance, of simple directness and sincere honesty. It was all she'd ever done and all she'd ever known. In the rare instance she actually asked for something, she didn't play games. She didn't try to lie or omit anything, she just barreled in. She'd just have to _ask_ Courtney to help Ali.

But she'd never asked Courtney for anything, the concept had always terrified her, especially now. And it didn't encourage her that the strategy worked less often than it did. Emily could remember even now how, when she'd first met Courtney in 9th grade, she'd asked her mom permission to go to a party after a dance. 'Ali' had invited her, and she was desperate to spend alone time with her. But Mrs. Fields had asked if there might be drinking, and Emily had meekly responded with a 'maybe.' So of course, her mother swiftly denied her, and Courtney, who was waiting on her front door step for an answer, had ridiculed her.

" _Why didn't you lie?"_ she'd asked derisively.

Emily had only shrugged.

" _Oh, Em,"_ 'Ali' had said, hopping down Emily's porch, casting her beautiful blue gaze back at her. _"You're so sweet. That's never going to get you anywhere."_

And, as if to prove her point, she'd left Emily for the party with a shake of her lovely blonde head. Emily had lain awake, thinking about how if she'd only lied, she'd be sipping drinks and rubbing elbows with Ali all night.

But nothing much had changed in the intervening years. Courtney always got what she wanted, and Emily rarely ever did. And that was the crux of the problem. How was she supposed to get Courtney to do something she didn't want to do? Just by asking? It seemed hopeless. But Emily still had to try. She didn't want Ali to end up dead in a ditch somewhere.

So, she darkly considered her next steps, on how, when she'd corner Courtney. But her phone began buzzing impatiently in her lap, the flash of blue light illuminating the interior of the car. Looking down, Emily saw the arrival of several group texts, all about some college party 'Ali' wanted to crash with the Hollis crew team.

 **Hanna to GROUP:** Yay! First party of the summer!  
 **Hanna to GROUP:** And, yum, crew guys. I may not be able to touch, but I can definitely look!  
 **Aria to GROUP:** I'm in – I need a break from my parents.  
 **Spencer to GROUP:** Same! Melissa's home right now, I need to get out of the house NOW!  
 **Alison to GROUP:** That leaves you, Em, what do you say? And don't tell your mom about the alcohol for once!

Emily shifted slightly, Courtney's comment mirroring so closely to what she'd been thinking only a moment ago, it unnerved her. It gave her that uncomfortable feeling, like Courtney could read her inner most secret thoughts. But then she shook it off as the girls continued to prattle on excitedly, her phone limp in her hand.

She looked out of her window, up into the branches of the big oak tree by her house, thinking about how to respond. She was absolutely _not_ in the mood for a party, but she didn't have a hope of getting Courtney alone before tomorrow if she didn't go. So, grinding her teeth, she tensely typed out the words,

 **Emily to GROUP:** Let's do it! You picking us all up?

And Courtney agreed with a flood of exclamation points and emojis, saying she'd be there in an hour or two. Easy as that.

That settled, Emily forced herself to get out of the car and walk into her house. She passed her mom in the hall, supplying an easy lie about staying at Spencer's, for once feeling a slight swell of pride.

 _See,_ she thought. _I can do it, too._

But it didn't feel good for long as she trudged up the stairs. It felt like Courtney had gotten her to do one more thing she didn't want to, to become someone else one more time. 1,000 for Courtney, 0 for Emily. She could only hope that, soon, she'd be making Courtney do something _she_ wasn't comfortable with, and that the score would be 1,000 to 1.

Once she was in her room, Emily listlessly changed her top and applied a bit of make-up. Usually she'd be excited about something like this, she'd be over thinking everything she wore for hours, ecstatic at the opportunity to look good for 'Ali.' But this time, she didn't care at all. She was content with the bare minimum, she only wanted to avoid the dissecting look Courtney gave her when she didn't try hard _enough_.

" _Emily, I swear to God. You look like you just woke up,"_ she could already hear her saying as she steadily did her mascara and brushed through her long black hair. But she didn't care. She wanted to tell that voice to shut up.

When she was ready, Emily waited impatiently, jiggling her flats as she sat on the top step of her porch. She looked down at them, imagining how 'Ali' would see them, too, the mocking eye roll she'd give. Courtney always thought Emily should be in heels, but she hated them. They hurt. She couldn't help but think that the real Ali didn't care what she wore, how much make-up she had on, whether she wore heels, flats, or sneakers. In fact, Ali seemed to have liked Emily best in a bath robe, just out of the shower, barefoot. Emily smiled thinking about it. She wished it were Ali picking her up instead, Ali taking her to a party. Or to dinner. Or to a movie.

But when Courtney pulled up a few minutes later, looking impeccable in her coupe convertible but still nothing like Ali, Emily remembered that Ali couldn't go to this party or any party for that matter. Maybe ever. It just wasn't fair.

"Hey beautiful," Courtney cat called flirtatiously from the curb, offering Emily a dazzling white smile.

Emily smiled weakly back at her, feeling guilty. Because as she approached the car, Courtney didn't shoot her any harsh looks or gaze exasperated at her shoes. She just looked at Emily cheerfully. Emily hated that this was one of Courtney's most powerful talents. She always seemed to know when Emily was resolved to not talk to her, to not be her friend, and she reeled her back in, charmed her way back into Emily's good graces.

 _No,_ Emily said to herself. _Not this time_. And then Emily's smile felt a little more forced.

"Hey Spence," Emily greeted Spencer instead, trying to act more casual, tearing her eyes away from Courtney. Spencer smiled back at her while Emily leaned the front seat forward to join her in the back seat.

But Courtney touched Emily's forearm, stopping her.

"Sit in the front, Em," she said sweetly.

Emily swallowed uncomfortably, but did what the blonde said, shooting Spencer an apologetic look.

As Courtney shifted the car back into gear, pulling out onto the road, Emily couldn't help but wonder why she wanted her in the front. Did she want to keep her closer because she felt like Emily was trying to pull away? Was she trying to torture her about the tree house still? Emily had no idea. These were the types of games Courtney played all day, every day, and Emily was woefully out of her depth.

"How was your day?" Courtney addressed Emily, surprising her yet again, Courtney almost never asked.

"Long," Emily stalled, she hadn't prepared a lie. She certainly couldn't tell Courtney that she'd painted her twin sister's nails in Radley that afternoon, so she struggled to come up with something else to say.

"But… there's a freshmen swim meet this weekend I'm excited about," Emily started to share fondly, "They all get so cute when they're nervous—"

"I can't wait until none of our stories are about Rosewood," Courtney said impatiently, interrupting her.

Emily closed her mouth, feeling annoyed. She missed how how Ali listened to her with an intrigued expression on her face, never interrupting like Courtney so often did.

"I can't wait until you're telling me about hot boys you're meeting at Stanford. Well," she corrected, absently as she rolled through a stop sign. "Hot people, I guess."

Emily clenched her jaw, ignoring the comment, not daring to look at Spencer in the back.

Emily remained quiet after that, breaking her silence only to greet Aria and Hanna when Courtney picked them up shortly thereafter. Then, Courtney began blaring her party playlist, leaving no room for conversation, anyway. And, even though she liked several of the songs, Emily resisted the desire to join in as the other girls sang along, dancing happily. She didn't want to give Courtney the satisfaction. She opted instead to enjoy the brisk night time breeze, watching the trees go by.

But, perhaps sensing her disinclination, Courtney knew her weak spot, and she put on Beyoncé. Emily _couldn't_ deny that. It wasn't even a choice. Courtney grinned devilishly when Emily belted the chorus lyrics exceptionally loud, and Hanna laughed raucously behind her.

"I _love_ Beyoncé," she said blissfully as they pulled up to a house just outside of the college, right as the song concluded.

"A little too much, I think," Courtney replied with a knowing smirk, shifting the car into park. Emily glanced back at her, trying not to shrivel up at the sight of that smile, but Courtney popped out of the car before Emily could respond.

"Party, party, ladies!" she shouted back at them, disappearing through a gate into the back yard.

Hanna gave Emily an irritated look as they climbed out of the car, and Emily tried her best not to react, but Spencer still caught the exchange. Thankfully, she said nothing and merely trailed behind as Emily led them to the same gate.

When they passed through it, 'Ali' was nowhere to be seen, so the girls entered the party without her, working their way through a good sized crowd. This was nothing new. Courtney had been ditching them in one form or another since the very moment they'd met her. Well trained by this point, they simply found the keg along the back fence, filled their cups, and stuck together in a tight circle.

Aria motioned to Emily's plastic cup. "Em, you're drinking tonight?" she asked inquisitively.

Emily knew she was asking because Emily almost never drank, her parents had always been very strict. But as she looked down into her beer, she couldn't help but think drinking seemed especially appealing tonight. It had seemed appealing every night for a while.

"Why not?" she said half-hardheartedly. "The season is over. First party of the summer, right?"

"That's right," Hanna said, encouragingly. "Cheers," she said, holding up her cup. They all cheers'd, and Emily eagerly drank her cup down.

While Emily looked around the party, the girls continued to chat lightly about Aria's mom's new boyfriend, Spencer's concern about moving into her Princeton dorms early, and Hanna's new fashion ideas. Emily neglected to share what was going on in her life, happy to bask in the problems of others, and slowly she felt her buzz set in. She finally felt relaxed, her mission in the very back of her mind as she filled up another cup, rejoining the group.

But it was short lived as two arms wrapped around her neck from behind. Emily tensed, knowing who it was from the designer perfume alone, but she was still surprised. Had Courtney _ever_ touched her like this before?

"Girls," Courtney said close to Emily's ear, Emily able to smell the alcohol on her breath. But it wasn't beer, was it liquor?

"Stop monopolizing poor Emily's time," she continued melodically. "While all you lucky ladies are taken, us single girls need to get to work at this party."

Hanna looked at Emily with slight discomfort, probably because of how weird 'Ali' was already acting. But Courtney only tilted her head to lock her blue eyes on Emily, her chin resting on her shoulder.

"Come on," she said insistently, "I found some guys for you to talk to."

And without waiting for Emily's approval, Courtney winked at the other girls, taking Emily's hand and leading her into the house.

Inside, the party was full blown, it was a jarring at first. Though Emily's buzz numbed a bit of it, the music was still deafening, the body heat of all the people still stifling. Emily felt like she was seeing every type of person, too. Hipster looking guys, girls with expensive handbags, girls in yoga outfits. She wondered if this was what college was going to be like. If Stanford would be any different than Hollis. If it would be better. Or worse.

Unconsciously, she clutched Courtney's hand slightly tighter. It scared her to think that, soon, she wouldn't be experiencing this with all of her friends. That, soon, they would never all be together. She watched the outline of Courtney's back, the sheen of her blonde hair in the low lit living room, and thought she'd even miss Courtney dragging her around, telling her what to do all the time. It was kind of nice to always have a script.

But that wasn't the purpose of tonight, Emily reminded herself. She needed to tell _her_ what to do for once.

She tried to go through what she would say, but her mind was totally void of help as they entered the kitchen. Emily looked nervously at a line of plastic liquor bottles sitting all along the back wall.

"Hey," Emily said, steeling herself, dropping Courtney's hand. "I want to talk to you about something."

Courtney looked at her with that half smirk still on her face.

"Sounds serious," she teased.

"It is," Emily said back.

"Well, a serious talk needs a serious drink," Courtney mused, pointing at the bottles. "Choose your poison."

Emily glanced uneasily at the bottles again.

"Do I have to?" she whined. "You know I hate liquor."

"Well, I don't see Blake," Courtney replied, looking around the party. Emily had no idea who that even was. Looking back, Courtney gazed down at Emily's almost empty beer cup. "And you're drinking already, so why not?"

"Aren't you not supposed to mix beer and liquor or something?" Emily suggested hesitantly, feeling like she'd heard this before, but having never actually put it into practice.

Courtney rolled her eyes.

"You're such a good girl," she said, although it sounded like a bad thing. But as she glanced at the bottles, she seemed to get an idea, her smirk turning mischievous.

"Well, what if…" she drew the word out, dragging her finger along the granite countertop toward a bottle of tequila. "We did body shots."

Emily simply stared back at her, not quite sure what in the hell was happening. Body shots?

"Really, Ali?" Hanna said, walking up behind her in the kitchen, a hand on her hip. "It's like 10 PM, we're already at that point of the night?"

Courtney gazed back at her, unruffled by the interruption, shrugging nonchalantly.

"It's a party, isn't it?" she sniped back.

"I think I saw that guy you were looking for over there," Hanna said with a nod of her head. "Blaine? Blade? Whatever his name was."

"Blake," Courtney corrected with annoyance. But, regardless, she turned to look and left the kitchen, waving at someone in the crowd.

"Thank you," Emily breathed quietly to Hanna.

"Is she off her fucking rocker?" Hanna replied, crossing the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of vodka. "Body shots?"

Emily merely shook her head as Hanna poured vodka over ice and grabbed a red bull. "I doubt she even knows how to _do_ those," she added.

"Did you hear what she said in the car earlier, too?" Emily said with a little more ire than she intended, feeling the effects of her beers.

"Yeah," Hanna said with an eye brow raise. "I mean, everyone loves Beyonce a little too much. She's the original _Bey_."

"Right!" Emily practically yelled back, her face feeling hot. "And before you even got there, she made some crack right in front of Spencer, too."

"Well, she's a crazy bitch. That's no surprise," Hanna said, swiveling back towards Emily, sipping her new drink. "But tell me, what's up with Ali? Did you talk to her?"

"Yeah," Emily answered darkly. "She tried to kiss me right when I got there."

"Tried?" Hanna asked. "You didn't let her?"

Emily thought uncomfortably about it. When Ali's hands had been on both sides of her face, Ali's lips begging to be kissed, she hadn't known _why_ she'd pulled back. She'd just felt scared suddenly. And the way Ali reacted to it, the look on her face, she was crushed. Then, she'd told Emily to just tell her if she didn't want her. But that wasn't the problem. She _did_ want her.

Emily was just afraid of how much. When she'd been walking down the Radley hallway ten minutes earlier and had heard her music, that song, it was so spellbinding, transporting. She'd told Ali she'd only been listening for a minute, but it had been longer. She'd stood in the doorway as she saw the other patients totally stop what they were doing, turning to listen. It was the same effect she'd seen Ali have on people her entire life. Like the very ocean would part for her. Like everyone wanted a part of her that they could keep secretly for themselves, like a piece of a holy relic. And Emily wanted a part of her, too. But what if she lost it? What if she had to say goodbye to her?

"I don't know why," Emily responded, not sure how to phrase any of that. "But I also told her I'm going to try to get Courtney to come with me to Radley tomorrow."

"Wow, tomorrow?" Hanna said surprised, clearly taken aback. "Why?"

"To get her to admit what's happened, so they can both get their lives back."

Hanna looked slightly skeptical. "Do you really think that'll really work? I mean, This is 'Ali' we're talking about."

Emily shrugged. "It's worth a shot. Otherwise, real Ali's running away to Alaska for all I know."

Hanna pursed her lips, taking another sip of her drink. "When are you going to talk to her?"

"Here, I guess," Emily said, finishing her beer with nervousness.

"Have you eaten?" Hanna asking, looking down into her empty beer cup.

"No, but I'm not hungry anymore," Emily replied, gazing a bit too long at the overhead light.

"Are you sure this is the best time to do this?" Hanna asked uncertainly.

"Why?" Emily replied, her attention snapping back to Hanna.

"We're at a party, for one. Ali-I mean, Courtney-she's in full Ali-mode. And, no offense too, Em, but you just seem kind of drunk."

Did she?

"Well, it's helping," Emily said defensively. "I need this. Otherwise, I'll never have the courage."

"You're really that scared?"

"I'm about to accuse our best friend 'Alison' DiLaurentis of being a liar, Hanna. How would you feel?"

"Yeah," Hanna conceded. "I'd probably be on my fourth one."

After a pause, Hanna pushing around her ice cubes loudly, she asked, "Why don't you wait until later? Maybe her being a little buzzed will help."

"Maybe," Emily said, unsure.

"And I think you'll want some privacy," Hanna suggested. "As long as she's not taking tequila shots out of your belly button," she added giggling. Emily groaned, still so confused, mortified at that happening.

"Please don't make fun of me," she begged.

Hanna kept laughing but offered a small 'sorry' in apology. The timing was fortunate, too, because not one second later, Courtney reappeared with a very fratty looking guy at her side.

"Emily," she said, her tone perky. "Meet Blake."

Hanna took one look at him and rolled her eyes, stalking off towards the impromptu dance floor in the living room.

"What's with her?" Courtney asked, slightly offended.

Emily shrugged, offering Blake a polite greeting in return. Though she really wished she could get another beer.

"You're like," the guy spoke back, his words already sounding slurred, "really pretty."

"Thanks," Emily said with a thinly a veiled lack of enthusiasm, glancing at Courtney. This drunken frat boy was Courtney's pick of the night for her? She felt a bit affronted.

Sensing her lack of interest, the blonde piped in, "Blake is a sophomore. He's studying finance, right?"

"Yep," the guy said, unattractively popping the 'p'.

"And his dad is some big shot lawyer in New York City."

"Cool," Emily said, giving her nothing, noting a sour look flicker across Courtney's features. The guy only continued to stare at Emily.

As the seconds passed, Emily thought she might be stuck forever in limbo with Courtney glaring at her, willing her to talk, and Blake, too dumb to come up with anything else. But, luckily, another guy approached them, albeit looking just as douchey as her new suitor.

"Hey bro, we need another for flip cup, you in?" he said, far too loudly, causing Emily wince.

"Yeah, man!" Blake shouted too.

Emily turned to Courtney while the two gave each other an obnoxiously long and complex handshake.

"I still need to talk to you," she whispered.

"Sure, what's up?" Courtney replied, taking a careful sip of her drink.

"Not here. Not with—" she started, shooting an irate look at the two college guys. "It's important."

Courtney quirked her eyebrows, but the new guy saw her suddenly, and pushed up behind her, sliding his arm around her waist.

"Hey Ali," he said sleazily. "Is this one of your friends? Are they all as hot as you are?"

"Right?" the other guy chimed in.

"Of course they are," Courtney said with a flirtatious smile at Emily before leaning back into the guy, loving the attention. It only made Emily's patience grow _very_ thin.

"You should come play flip cup with us, too," the guy proposed.

"Fun," she said, with a smile turning to follow them.

"Wait," Emily called to her. "Our talk?"

"Em," Courtney said dismissively as she took a step away. "It can wait, let's go play."

"No, it can't," Emily said back, more resolved, reaching out take Courtney's arm.

Courtney looked down with such high offense at Emily's touch, it was as if she thought Emily had just slapped her. But, despite that, Emily didn't drop it. Courtney's face hardened in response as she caught Emily's eye, her regard cold.

"We can talk about it later," she said more sternly, roughly pulling her arm away. "When I drop you off."

But Emily didn't budge, feeling an upswing in her anger. All she could think about was how often Courtney brushed her off, didn't take her seriously, made fun of her, forced her into talking to stupid guys. And she couldn't give her five minutes back?

Emily's irritation peaked as she watched Courtney turn away from her _again_ to join the two guys.

"Courtney!" she said, her voice pitched with hot fury.

Emily heard the word leave her mouth as if someone else had said it. Some total idiot. Some unbelievable dumb ass. She even heard the name echo, could still hear the vibration off the walls as Courtney turned slowly to look at her. It felt like time stopped.

 _Maybe she didn't hear it,_ Emily thought to herself with an impossible hope _. Maybe the music covered it._

But she was wrong. There was absolutely _no doubt_ that Courtney recognized the name when Emily saw her face. There was a tectonic shift from her previous expression of severity, like she was experiencing fear, anger, hatred, shock, and disbelief, all at the same time.

"How—" she started, but it was obvious she was speechless. For once in her life.

Emily simply froze, saying nothing too, as if any movement or sound might cause her instantaneous death. She thought, this was such an _Emily_ thing to do. Come up with an entire plan and then totally mess it up. Slip on the proverbial banana peel. Emily wanted to slap herself one hundred times, and then some.

"I thought your name was Alison?" the new guy said cluelessly. "You're not one of those chicks who lies and gives me their friend's number, are you?"

"I—" Courtney said, still looking completely caught off guard. But she was interrupted by the arrival of Aria and Spencer, her eyes widening.

"Oh my God, there are people in only togas," Aria said, taking a sip of her drink and pointing towards the living room. "And Hanna's about to crowd surf them."

"You guys can't miss this," Spencer said excitedly, her eyes jumping from Emily to Courtney, her smile faltering.

Courtney struggled to mask her expression under Spencer's scrutinizing gaze. "Yeah," she said quickly. "Let's go."

"What about us?" Blake asked.

"I'll come for the next game," she said, hurrying past them. Emily followed her, too, as if she had just been told she had three weeks to live.

And sure enough, in the living room, Hanna was standing up on the fireplace, singing some rap song to the crowd, every single word, at the top of her lungs. Emily watched her with slight awe and envy, wishing desperately that they could trade places.

Spencer and Aria joined the crowd, still oblivious to what had just occurred in the kitchen, waving their hands in the air at Hanna. But Emily stood stock still next to Courtney, her buzz having completely vanished. She hazarded a glance at her friend, but her angelic face looked drawn, her body language unreadable.

But when Emily's eyes flicked back to Hanna, who was preparing to jump into the crowd, Courtney suddenly took Emily's arm, causing the brunette to yelp in surprise. She couldn't resist her firm grip as she tripped through the crowd, Courtney dragging her back outside and around the edge of the house. She turned towards Emily then, standing close to her, close enough that Emily took a step back, her right foot plunging right into a garden bed. Courtney only took a step forward again.

"That name you called me—" she started.

"Your name, you mean?" Emily asserted, trying to steady herself with her foot practically half in a bed of pansies.

Courtney's eyebrows twisted, like she was surprised Emily had challenged her. Emily could see the panic in her blue eyes, the light from the house glancing off her blonde curls as she shook her head slightly.

"Where did you get it from?" she asked, voice wavering.

"I met Ali," Emily blurted out.

And why not? Why play coy at this point? The time for tact had passed the second Emily shouted out Courtney's real name. Now, it was time for the Emily Fields. Time to barge in with all she had.

The panic and surprise on Courtney's face heightened.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a twin?" Emily continued more hotly.

"Has she told you... that she thinks she's me?" Courtney asked with trepidation, the type that Emily wasn't sure if she was faking or not.

"She _is_ you," Emily reemphasized.

"No, Emily—" Courtney tried to interrupt, holding her hand up.

"Please don't lie to me anymore," Emily said, beating her to the punch. "I can't take it."

Courtney suddenly leaned heavily against the bricks looking completely lost, devastated even.

"You have to listen to me, Emily. I'm not—" she sputtered slightly, "I'm not lying to you. My sister is crazy, she's sick. You can't believe what she says. She's dangerous."

Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing. She couldn't believe Courtney was still trying to lie. At least Ali had always, quickly even, told her the truth.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Emily accused her boldly. "You're my best friend. We've known each other for four years. I've told you everything. You know when I got my first period. You know the name of the stuffed animal I slept with until I was a junior. You even know about when I accidentally grazed that guy's erection in 9th grade and hid in the bathroom for the rest of the day."

Courtney looked conflicted as she broke her gaze with Emily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Please," Emily continued to plead. "Just tell me the truth."

Emily continued to stare at her, but Courtney only played with the hem of her shirt.

"Who else knows?" she asked quietly after a long minute, not looking up.

"No one," Emily lied. She didn't want Hanna, Caleb, or even Jason to get in trouble.

"How did you even find out about her?"

Emily swallowed. "Does it matter?" she countered, avoiding the question. "It's not right that she's in there."

Suddenly, Courtney's eyes flashed.

"Was it you?" Courtney asked with condemnation. "Did you help her leave me those messages?"

"What? No," Emily said quickly. "I never—I never saw any of that."

Courtney still glared at her, Emily could see her fingernails digging into her own arms, hard by her elbows.

" _She_ sent _me_ away," Courtney defended indignantly. "Did she tell you that?"

"Yes," Emily breathed. "She did tell me. And I remember what she was like before, I know she was a bully. But she's different now. She's sorry. She wants to come clean."

Courtney looked at her incredulously.

"Why are you on her side?" she asked testily. "Are you two friends?"

"I'm not—I'm not on anyone's side," Emily defended, feeling like she was on thin, cracking ice.

"What do you want, then? Did you just want me to know?" Courtney continued fiercely.

"I want," Emily started slowly. "You to come with me to Radley."

"No," she said lightning fast, standing up to her full height again. "I am _not_ going back there."

"Please, Courtney," Emily said, Courtney's eyes narrowing slightly at the use of her real name.

"And do what? Sing kumbaya in group therapy?" she snapped. "Have Ali rant and rave that we've switched places? Watch the doctors shoot her up with so many drugs that she can't speak or walk for days?"

Emily stared back at her, wondering if Courtney was recounting an actual memory. Wanting to shiver at the thought of it.

"It's not right that she's in there," Emily could only say quietly back.

"It's her own fault," Courtney said through clenched teeth.

"And I think she's paid the price," Emily argued. "Don't you? You, more than anyone, should understand what she's going through."

Emily stepped closer to her, but Courtney shot her a warning look.

"She's in pain," she continued. "She's the only sister you'll ever have. You both need to move on."

Courtney stewed, processing what Emily said, clearly wanting to bite her head off, but holding it back for some reason. Emily liked to think it was because she _did_ actually care about her, somewhere, deep down.

"I can't forgive her," she said matter-of-fact.

"I'm not asking you to forgive her. Just come talk to her with me tomorrow," Emily begged. "You're going to college, she doesn't need to be in there for the rest of her life. You can both start over. Isn't that what you want?"

Courtney kicked at the grass, digging her heel into the dirt, her arms still tightly crossed in front of her, not looking at Emily. Her lips were screwed tightly together, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Fine," she said abruptly.

But before Emily could reply, she turned her back and swiftly rounded the building.

Emily stood there shocked, not entirely sure if she'd gotten what she wanted or not.

* * *

The next day, Emily waited outside of the DiLaurentis house, too nervous to get out of her car and knock on the door. She really hoped their plan was still on, she hadn't heard from Courtney since last night. She hadn't returned after she'd left Emily standing there on the side of the house. She'd even left the party without telling any of girls, stranding them there. It hadn't been a big deal, they were still pretty close to their houses, they'd just called a cab. But Spencer had angrily asked Hanna and Emily what was happening on the ride home, but they'd both feigned ignorance. Spencer hadn't bought it at all.

Drumming her fingers on the steering wheel jumpily, Emily decided she couldn't find the energy to get out, so she opted to text Courtney instead.

 **Emily to Courtney:** I'm waiting outside

Not bothering to send a response, Courtney emerged from the house ten minutes later, walking down her pathway towards Emily's car, her heels clicking, her arms crossed. She didn't look at Emily once as she got into the car. She still seemed to be angry. Livid, in fact. So, Emily wasn't surprised when Courtney didn't speak to her once the whole way there, only staring out of the window with her jaw tensed. Emily figured that was better than total noncompliance, so she left her alone.

When they got to Radley, both girls checked in, Courtney looking extremely uncomfortable, like she'd literally rather be anywhere else. When they were handed their badges, Courtney's eyes flickered over Emily's alias, Heather Murphy, and she shot her an eye roll, before pinning her own badge to her chest. Emily resisted making a retaliatory comment back at her. Her name was 'fake,' too, after all.

They waited for the nurse to retrieve them, Courtney loudly, annoyingly tapping her nails on the front desk. When the nurse came a few minutes later, she stared for a bit longer at Courtney than at Emily, before walking them to the elevator. In fact, everyone they passed seemed to gaze at Courtney just a moment longer. Was it because they knew Ali? Emily glanced at her questioningly, but Courtney only looked straight ahead.

When they got to the third floor and to Ali's room, Emily lingered for a moment in front of it. _It's now or never_ , she thought before opening the door.

When she entered, Ali turned towards her. She was standing at her bookshelf gently replacing '1984.'

"Hey," she said airily to Emily with a small smile.

Emily opened her mouth to greet her back, but she faltered. Because Ali looked really good. _Really_ good. Like she'd prepared extra for Emily's visit. She was dressed in a cute, yet still casual summer dress and even wearing light make-up. Her hair was perfectly straightened and super shiny. Emily tried not to stare too obviously, but Ali's smile turned into a slight smirk, like she knew exactly what Emily was thinking.

"Hey," Emily finally responded, her throat dry.

But Ali's bright blue eyes shifted as Emily moved to the side, her expression changing radically as Courtney stepped into the room.

Courtney paused as her eyes landed on Ali. They regarded each other coolly, saying nothing, the tension in the room feeling, to Emily at least, like it had increased tenfold. Then, Courtney took three more steps inside the room, past Emily, looking everything over. Ali watched Courtney with her sharper, predatory gaze, like a tiger whose territory was being invaded. Emily took a strained breath, looking between them, having never seen them together. It was definitely weird.

"Hello to you too, A," Courtney said waspishly, running a hand over Ali's plastic table top. "Love what you've done with the place."

The comment made Emily feel immediately stiff. She hadn't been totally sure what to expect from Courtney, but she did _not_ think this was the best way to start this conversation. And the look on Ali's face confirmed it.

Ali opened her mouth to speak, but Emily quickly cut her off. "Hey," she said softly, gaining Courtney's attention. "Can we all sit?"

She heard Ali sigh with resignation as she crossed over to her bed. Emily followed, pulling out a chair for Courtney from the table. Courtney looked at it like a dead animal.

"I don't need to sit," she said, crossing her arms.

"Okay," Emily said, still trying to diffuse the tension. She leaned on the bed post next to Ali instead, Courtney's eyes flickering over the two of them, like she was trying to figure something out.

"What did you want to talk about?" Courtney said, tersely addressing Ali.

Ali took a ragged breath, appearing to Emily at least, to be trying to calm herself down enough to speak.

"Emily thinks," Ali started slowly, "that we should tell our parents what's happened."

"And what does Emily know?" Courtney spat quickly back.

Ali looked instantly furious, pressing her lips together.

"I'm not switching back with you," Courtney continued with a slight curl of her mouth. "I'm not coming back here."

"You don't need to come back here," Emily interjected. "Alison will tell them you're not crazy, and you'll tell them about the switch. You can both go home."

"And she gets to be fabulous Ali D again," Courtney motioned to her sister sharply, boring holes into Emily with her eyes. "And I get crazy, I-spent-8-years-in-a-mental-hospital, Courtney? I don't think so."

Emily just stared back at her, not totally sure how to convince her otherwise. Other than that it was the _right_ thing to do.

"So, you came out here just to say no?" Ali said, a thin ripple of anger in her voice, interrupting Emily's thoughts. "Well, thanks sis, but you didn't have to travel three whole miles just for me."

"I didn't do _anything_ for you," Courtney sniped back bitingly. "I came because Emily asked me to."

"Because you care so much about her?" Ali said sarcastically.

"What the hell do you know?" Courtney accused back hotly.

Ali opened her mouth to say something else, but Emily gently put her hand on her shoulder, gazing down at her profile.

"This isn't helping," Emily said quietly. Ali looked up at her, softening slightly at Emily's touch, and relented, closing it again, deciding against whatever ill-tempered comment she was about to hurl.

"Courtney, we can get your record sealed," Emily continued looking back at her best friend. "Ali's already done classes at UPenn, you could even go to college there."

But Courtney didn't seem to hear her, looking distracted. Her familiar bow-shaped lips jumped harshly in a way Emily didn't recognize. She was staring at the Emily's hand on Ali's shoulder.

"Oh my fucking God," she said, glancing up at Emily. "Are you two—no. No way." She finished, pressing her hands into her hair, turning her back on them.

Emily watched her, confused. She looked down at Ali for help, but Ali didn't look away from Courtney, looking extremely uncomfortable, like she knew exactly what Courtney had surmised.

"You two are fucking," Courtney said crudely, spinning back to look at the pair.

"What?" Emily said shocked.

"That's low, even for you," Courtney quickly quipped at Ali.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Ali asked, her cheeks flushing.

"That's why you kissed me, isn't it?" she threw caustically at Emily. "You were thinking about 'who you liked?' You got 'confused'?" she mocked with air quotes, Ali glancing at Emily. "Unbelievable."

But Emily's mouth only hung open mutely. The conversation had gone completely off the rails now, Emily realized, in a way that she'd been terrified it would back when Courtney had asked her about their kiss in her bedroom. And she had no idea how to fix it.

Courtney looked more furious by the second. "Why did you kiss me, too? Were you trying to see who could do it better?"

"Courtney—" Emily started, but she wasn't done.

"Wait, wait, wait," she said holding a hand up, a cutting, contemptuous smile slowly crossing her her face. But Courtney was _not_ happy. In fact, she looked explosive, like an unstable chemical.

"Were you…" she said, turning her heated, boring gaze on Ali, "pretending to be me?"

The smile fell off of her face when Ali didn't respond, in fact, Ali wouldn't even look at Courtney, glaring at the floor instead. Emily felt like her literal worst nightmare was coming to pass.

"It's not like—" Emily protested, but Courtney still held her hand up, silencing her.

"Did Emily not know, sis?" Courtney asked, her voice dangerous. "Were you embarrassed? Were you worried she wouldn't like Crazy Courtney?"

Ali's eyes blazed back up to her.

"Shut up," she snapped.

"Why did you come back?" she continued scathingly. "I'm guessing you somehow managed to escape Radley. Why didn't you just leave? No one wants you here."

"Courtney," Emily said again, looking at Ali out of the corner of her eye. Ali was gripping her bed sheets tightly.

"She's just using you, Emily," Courtney countered quickly. "How can you not see that? She just wants to get out of here."

Emily didn't respond immediately. While Courtney's accusation wasn't something she hadn't already considered, Emily _had_ been frightened, especially after finding the hospital tag, that Ali was some sort of serial manipulator that had played Emily perfectly. But talking to her at Radley, visiting her yesterday, Ali didn't seem like that at all. She seemed honest and sincere with Emily, sweet even.

"That's not how it is," Ali said, answering for Emily.

"It's been a few weeks and you think you know her," Courtney persevered, ignoring Ali. "You knew her, have you forgotten what she was like? Not just the bully, the _biggest_ bully. Someone who wouldn't even talk to you, would never be your friend. If you think she's not capable of lying about everything, then you're more naïve than I thought."

Courtney's words hung thickly in the air as she stared at Emily, challenging her to respond.

"Even if that were true, and even if I was naive," Emily said slowly, angrily. "It doesn't mean she deserves to stay in here. No one does. It's not fair."

Courtney smiled mockingly at that.

"Sweet, sweet, Emily," she said turning her scathing gaze back on Ali. "Of all my friends, it had to be her, didn't it? My favorite."

Emily felt uncomfortable again, like she was missing something. She looked at Ali, but she said nothing, staring daggers at Courtney.

"I'm guessing you picked up pretty quickly that she liked you. Or I should say, that she liked _me_."

"What does _that_ mean?" Emily asked. Was Courtney implying that she knew about Emily's crush on her? Why had she never said anything?

Courtney glanced back at Emily. "Did she tell you she loved you, Em?"

"Shut _up_ , Courtney," Ali said again, louder.

"Did Emily tell you she loved you back?" Courtney said, slowly shifting her vicious features back to Ali. "Did she think you were me when she said it?"

"She doesn't love you," Ali said calmly, standing slowly from the bed, Emily's eyes widening as she watched her.

"No one does," Ali continued. "Because when they look at you, they don't see you. They only see me."

Courtney was practically smoking with rage. She took a cold, calculated step closer to her sister.

"I am a better Alison than you _ever_ were," she stated with certainty. "And do you know how I know? Because she's only with you, Ali," she drew the words out with a pointed eye brow raise, "because I said no."

Suddenly, Ali lunged forward but Emily was faster, grabbing her arm, quickly taking hold of both shoulders, holding her back.

Courtney looked coldly back at them, having not reacted at all.

"Emily said you'd changed, Ali. That you were sorry. And though I obviously can't trust her judgment now," she said angrily with a deadly glance in Emily's direction, "I'll tell you what, I'll make you a deal."

Ali's lip curled, but Courtney continued.

"I'll come clean," she said lightly, holding one finger up. "Under one condition."

"Tell me," she started, looking up whimsically. "Tell me that you deserved it."

Emily felt Ali's arm flex in her hand.

"Tell me you deserved all of this," she continued motioning to the room. "Tell me you deserved the rotting cafeteria food, the group therapy, the doctors who forget your name. Tell me you deserved drooling on this table while I was crowned Prom queen. While I had sleepovers and parties and classes. A real life."

Courtney inclined her head forward, looking at Ali with a type of anger, a hatred that Emily had never seen, had never wanted to see.

"I made out with all the guys you liked," she gloated quietly, shooting a small glance at Emily. "I ditched all of your friends. I got all the awards that were meant for you. Tell me you _deserved_ it, and I'll help you."

But Ali just glared back at her, her face fixed in an icy rage, clearly unable to give her twin the satisfaction.

"It's simple, Ali. Just say it."

Ali jerked in Emily's grip again, attempting to get at Courtney, the squeak of Emily's sneakers loud on the linoleum as she pivoted to stop her.

"Alison," she plead to her, but Ali didn't look at her.

Courtney took a step back, like her designer heel was about to be touched by some disgusting liquid, but also like she was rather self-satisfied.

"You better keep your new pet on a leash, Emily. I hear she's rabid."

"I'm disappointed in you," Emily said back bitterly, looking at Courtney. "Did you just totally lie to me yesterday when you said you wanted to help?"

"I never said I wanted to help," Courtney responded gruffly.

"Well, it would've been easy for you," Emily said, her fingers still tightly grasping Ali's shoulders. "And you chose to do this instead."

"Maybe you've forgotten, Emily," Courtney said sharply in response. "But Alison DiLaurentis doesn't apologize. No take-backs."

"Well, 'Alison'," Emily replied shakily, having never tried to stand up to Courtney before. "You lived to see the day when you became who you hate the most. I hope you're proud of yourself."

Courtney opened her mouth, but her brows creased and she closed it again, looking hurt for a flash.

"I thought you cared about me, Em," she said recovering. "I thought you were my best friend."

She turned towards the door.

"I'm getting out of here whether you like it or not," Ali fired at her retreating back. Courtney's hand paused on the handle while she glanced at her.

Ali's eyes flicked down to Courtney's hands on the door. "Better watch where you put those hands, sis. You may leave some evidence behind."

And with one more hateful look at the both of them, Courtney left the room. And Emily had that familiar feeling again, like she was the sole survivor of a natural catastrophe.

 **How will Ali feel towards Emily after that?! Next chapter features a break out attempt that may not run as smoothly as we'd like.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** I revised the dialogue a bit at the end of the last chapter. It's basically the same, but cleaned it up and altered several lines. Let me know what you think! And, **FIVE** days!

* * *

When the two girls both heard the door slam, Emily gently released Alison's arms and shoulders, and Ali quickly crossed the room, making sure Courtney had really left. In a way, it was like she was checking a body to make sure it was well and truly dead. And it was, Courtney was gone.

Ali sighed, her hand resting on the cool metal liner of the porthole window. She felt dizzy, staggered, off-balance. When Emily had first come into the room, Ali had been excited, she'd seen that _look_ again from Emily. It had given her hope. She'd thought that maybe Emily had miraculously convinced Courtney to help, that maybe they could actually be together. But she'd been wrong.

"I don't think she ever planned on helping me," Ali said, her voice coming out weird and small.

In fact, Courtney had seemed hell bent on the exact opposite. The moment she'd crossed the threshold into the room, Ali had sensed her sister's intentions. She could see in those haughty eyes, those hateful features that Courtney was just there to torture her. But what she hadn't anticipated was in what ways and just how effectively. Courtney had honed in on Ali's insecurities so expertly that it had felt like a soul shattering sucker punch. Like Ali couldn't breathe. She still viscerally felt her jealousy, the rejection of her last attempted kiss with Emily and, somehow, Courtney had picked up on that. She had known Ali was worried she was second choice, that she wasn't good enough. And now Ali felt sick with an acute type of self-doubt, a unique brand of self-loathing. Everything felt destabilized, shaky and tremulous. Did she deserve the things her twin had said? Was Courtney right about her? Was Courtney right about Emily?

 _Maybe Emily only likes the way I smell because I smell like Courtney_ , Ali thought painfully as she pressed her fingers against the metal. _Maybe everything she likes about me is only because she likes her. Maybe she never liked_ me _at all._

"I'm really sorry I brought her here, Ali," Emily said regretfully behind her, like she inexplicably knew to defend herself in Ali's thoughts. "I didn't think—I didn't think she'd be like that."

"Why?" Ali snapped, turning from the door, rounding on Emily. "Because you're her favorite?"

The brunette looked taken aback at her tone, and Ali felt a pang of guilt. But she also felt out of control, wild, and pissed off.

"What? No," Emily defended. "I just thought—I thought she was better than that."

"Then you obviously don't know her as well as I do after all," Ali scoffed in response, looking away again.

Ali had _known_ Courtney would never help her, had known it with every fiber of her being. Not only because she didn't want to give up Ali's perfect life, but because she hated Ali, and she wanted her to suffer. She felt stupid now for letting Emily bring her to Radley, that she'd allowed herself to believe that everything could turn out okay. She felt stupid for ever having involved Emily at all.

"I should have never talked to you in front of that house," she said quietly. "I should never have asked for your help."

"Don't listen to her, Ali," Emily protested, sounding distressed. "She was just trying to hurt you. She's trying to divide us."

"Well, it worked," Ali replied flatly, feeling even worse admitting it out loud.

"What worked?" Emily asked hesitantly. "Her hurting you or dividing us?"

"Both."

And it was true. Ali felt damaged, like she didn't want to be close to anyone or anything. She ruined everything she touched, including Emily, the sweetest person she'd ever met.

Maybe Courtney was right. Maybe she should suffer. She'd been a bully and a liar. And had she really changed? She thought she had, but honestly it was hard to tell while she was in Radley. She felt like some sort of trapped, predatory animal. Like a grizzly bear, defanged and declawed, confined in some lost and forgotten cage. But if she were set loose, wouldn't she revert back to the same bloodthirsty animal again? Wouldn't she kill without mercy just like before?

If her actions during her escape were any indication, the evidence was damning. She'd broken a dozen laws. She'd sent her twin threatening messages. She'd planned on blackmailing Mr. Hastings. She _had_ used Emily, she'd manipulated and lied to her. She'd never meant to develop feelings for her, _and_ she'd slept with her even though she'd known it was wrong.

"Don't say that," Emily replied after a moment.

"Why?" Ali countered, her voice shaky. "She was right, Emily. I'm a terrible person. I'm a liar. A user. I involved you, someone who—who doesn't deserve this at all, and it's only brought you pain."

"Ali, I'm choosing to be involved," Emily insisted. "And I don't believe that stuff about you. I—I like you."

Ali stared into her kind and vulnerable brown eyes. Her words seemed so sweet, so sincere. It was the first time Emily had confessed it aloud, even if Ali had guessed at it after their last encounter, after Emily had said she wanted to go on a date. But she couldn't trust her now, not after everything Courtney had said. Ali could still hear her twin's malicious voice.

" _She's only with you_ _because I said no."_

"I had to trick you into liking me, Em," Ali replied coldly, feeling something shift inside herself, become harder. "You're just confused."

"You're wrong," Emily objected, taking a step towards her. "That's not that's not how I feel about us."

But Alison didn't want to believe her, it was easier if she didn't. They had no future together, now more than ever. All hope had been dashed against the rocks with Courtney's rude departure. Clinging to Emily at this point would only be selfish and futile, like desperately hanging onto another person in rocky waters. They didn't _both_ need to drown. She needed to do the right thing for once and just let Emily go.

"There is no us," she persisted. "This was all a mistake."

" _Ali_ ," Emily said, sounding more urgent, more upset.

But Ali didn't miss a beat, continuing, "I don't need—I don't want you to help me out of some sort of misplaced affection or obligation."

"That's not what this is—"

"You should just go," Ali cut her off resolutely.

Ali reached to the clasp at her neck, Emily looking shocked when she realized what she was doing. Like Ali was breaking up with her even though they weren't even together. They weren't even anything. She removed the necklace and offered it to Emily.

"You said you wanted this back, here," Ali said, trying with difficulty to steady her shaking hand.

"I gave that to you," Emily said in defiance, leaning back from Ali's open palm.

"You didn't give it to _me_ ," Ali disputed, jerking her hand forward again. But Emily just stared blankly back at her from her position across the room, still standing by Alison's bed.

Ali breathed deeply, feeling frustrated tears form. "Just take it," she insisted again.

"No," Emily replied stubbornly back, shaking her head. "I'm not leaving, and I'm not leaving you here either."

At her refusal, Ali angrily threw the necklace on the ground at Emily's feet and stormed across the room.

 _What's her problem?_ she thought fuming as she stood at her familiar perch by the window. Ali was giving her a ticket out of this mess, a free ride. Why wouldn't she just accept it? So what if her family sent her to Delaware, to Montana, to Mexico, Ali could find another way out. She didn't need to destroy Emily's life in the process. She didn't _need_ Emily.

"Just go," she said again, throwing an irate glance at Emily. But despite Ali's harsh behavior, Emily looked just as resolved to stay as Ali was for her to leave. She hadn't budged from that spot, the necklace still laying at her feet.

"If you're worried that it's too late, it's not," Ali continued. "I won't tell anyone you're involved."

But Emily still didn't react, only holding Ali's gaze, her eyebrows deeply furrowed.

"You can fix things with Courtney, too," she added irritably. "Once you tell her I'm crazy and you're on her side, you two can live happily ever after."

"I don't care about her," Emily said with an annoyed sigh, moving finally to reach down to pick up the necklace on the floor. She held it delicately, looking back up at Ali. "I want to be with _you_."

"No, you don't," Ali countered crossly, looking back out the window. "You don't even want to kiss me."

"Is that what this is about?" Emily asked with exasperation.

Unwilling to answer, Ali said nothing. She'd already explained what 'this' was about, Courtney had won again, and Ali wanted to quit, wasn't Emily listening? She was tired of arguing.

But she heard the scuff of a shoe, a noise behind her, and it interrupted her thoughts. When she turned to look, Emily was reaching up to place the necklace back around her neck. Ali turned and sharply grabbed her wrist.

"Stop," she said.

"You stop," Emily said wrapping her free arm around Ali's waist and stepping into her, pressing her back up against the window sill. "Just stop already."

Ali wanted to push her away, but she felt too overwhelmed by Emily's proximity as she took a surprised breath, feeling her chest heave closely against the brunette's. She could smell Emily's minty breath as it hit her face, feel her fingers digging into the skin at her waist. She was so close, Ali could see the flecks of gold in her brown eyes again.

She opened her mouth, working to come up with more words of protest, but found her angry train of thought had quickly slipped away from her. When Ali said nothing, Emily gently removed her wrist from Ali's grasp and pressed the hand across her jaw, deep back into her smooth blonde hair, scratching her scalp lightly with her fingernails. Ali unconsciously fluttered her eyes closed at that, her resolve to keep Emily at bay deteriorating even further.

"You are _not_ a terrible person," she said, Ali opening her eyes again at the soft sound of Emily's words.

"You don't know me—" Ali argued in a last ditch effort, but she couldn't finish when Emily cut her off by pressing her lips decisively against the blonde's.

Ali was startled at first, her lips stiff against Emily's, fitting imperfectly. But then she couldn't help it. Because despite what she had said earlier, she did still want to kiss her.

She reciprocated slowly, tentatively, like she was discovering Emily's mouth, lips, and tongue for the first time. She felt different during this kiss, nervous, slightly exposed, like something real was at stake. She had always been Courtney during all of their last encounters. It felt nerve-wracking to be herself for once. If Emily rejected her again, she didn't think she could withstand it. But it didn't feel like Emily wanted to as she touched her tongue to Ali's, her hands tender and sweet as they rubbed Ali's lower back and cheek.

They continued like that for a minute or fifteen minutes, Ali had no idea which. But Emily eventually pulled back to take a much needed breath, and Ali followed her mouth slightly, not wanting to stop. She'd forgotten how much she enjoyed the taste of her. She opened her eyes after another moment to find Emily smiling slightly at her.

"Is that better?" Emily asked. Ali could still feel her arm wrapped snugly around her waist, it was like Emily was holding her still, keeping her calm. It was comforting and sexy at the same time. It _was_ better. But Ali feigned an unimpressed face.

"No," she answered, and Emily looked slightly hurt.

"I think—" she continued, lightly tracing the neck line of Emily's shirt with her finger, unable to hide her smirk any longer, "I think I need another."

Emily's face cleared again, understanding Ali's tease. Then, as Emily moved back to her, Ali took both sides of her face in her hands and kissed her more passionately. She angled their heads to the side and slid her tongue into Emily's mouth, at once far more dominating and heated than before. Emily tightened her arm around Ali's waist, lifting her up slightly on her toes, pressing Ali even more firmly against her body.

It made Ali ache, want more. She would've never been able to ask for it, but this was exactly what she needed. This bodily reassurance. She _needed_ to touch her and for Emily to touch her back. Otherwise, nothing felt right. The stress she'd felt, the brokenness, was slowly being healed by every kiss Emily peppered over her mouth, by every gentle caress, like ice cubes dissolving into warm water.

She felt Emily pull back again, but only to kiss her throat, which she offered willingly. Even though as she did it, she could distinctly feel Emily reaching around her, reattaching the necklace, and licking hard at her pulse point, causing Ali to whimper slightly. Then, Emily pulled her into a tight embrace, her face buried in Ali's hair, her hands massaging the back of her neck.

"Ali, please don't talk like that," Emily said, her voice vulnerable, her face hidden in Alison's flaxen hair, her hands clinging to Ali.

"I'm sorry," Ali responded remorsefully, pushing a hand up Emily's back and into her hair.

"I'm sorry, too," Emily replied, drawing back to look into Ali's eyes. "I'm sorry I've been slow to tell you how I feel. I have been confused."

Ali felt her face fall, looking away. But Emily lifted her chin up with her index finger, forcing the blonde to look at her again.

"When I came to your house to tell Courtney how I felt that night," she started, Ali resisting the urge to pull away from Emily at the sound of her twin's name. "It wasn't because I thought she would ever, in a million years, feel the same about me. Because I knew…I _know_ she doesn't love me."

Ali searched Emily's toffee brown eyes, while Emily moved her hand to cup her cheek.

"Not like you, at least," she continued. "Everything about you is different, you didn't do anything she would've done. It was like a dream. I wanted _you_ to be real, not her."

Ali felt her heart seize at Emily's words, but still couldn't ignore the facts, the inevitable unhappy ending.

"This is never going to work," she said weakly, pushing her hand over Emily's, trying to move it away from her face. But Emily didn't let her.

"We'll find a way," she said, moving her hand through Ali's straightened hair instead.

Her eyes glanced back down at the necklace, and Ali looked at Emily's beautiful cheekbones, her puffy lips. Emily cradled Ali's face again, kissing her cheek, then her brow. Ali brought their lips to meet again, this time slowly, more sensually. She savored the physical intimacy, she loved that she could just reach right out and take her. She wanted to be pinned against this wall forever. Though preferably not _this_ wall. Any other wall outside of Radley.

Which reminded her; there was another more pressing matter than ravaging Emily Fields.

"I think we need to leave tonight," Ali said breathlessly, moving backwards, pressing her palms back against the window sill in an attempt to control herself. "I'm sure my sister is going to go home and tell my parents I escaped, and that I've really lost it. That I need to be sent away for good."

"Yeah," Emily replied darkly, taking her hands away from Ali's waist. "I'm sure you're right. I can tell Caleb and Hanna, we can come back here later."

Then Emily looked down, thinking. She reached for her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

"Why don't you take this?" Emily said, holding it out to Ali. "That way we can reach you. Do you have somewhere to hide it?"

Ali smiled mischievously at her, accepting the phone. "Of course."

"Just don't send any scary, anonymous texts," Emily said with a wry smile.

"I won't."

Emily leaned forward and kissed Ali again, chastely, but long and lingering. After a moment, she stepped away, but still looking back at Ali, reluctant to leave.

"Please don't do anything rash until then either," Emily begged her. "Don't go anywhere."

"Okay," Ali assured her, even though she knew she would likely feel differently, as she often did, in Emily's absence.

Emily looked as pacified as she could by that response before crossing over to the door. But her fingers paused on the handle.

"And Ali?" she added again. "Don't take that necklace off again."

Ali touched it, feeling guilty for the outburst earlier.

"I won't," she repeated.

* * *

Later that night, Emily arrived at Hanna's house after lying to her mother _again_ about a sleepover. She debriefed Hanna as best she could about what had happened last night and that day, and Hanna quickly shot Caleb a text to let him know they needed him to come over.

They both jumped into Hanna's car, waiting for Caleb to arrive. Emily fidgeted anxiously, feeling oddly naked without her phone, while Hanna looked deep in thought.

"Do you think Ali—ugh—Courtney has feelings for you?" Hanna asked, disturbing Emily's fretting.

The question made Emily feel awkward, but Hanna continued, blithely unaware.

"She was acting so weird at the party. And her reaction at Radley…" Hanna added, shaking her head. "Doesn't seem like a strictly friendship kind of jealousy to me."

Emily considered her answer carefully. The Emily she'd been a month ago would've desperately wanted that to be true. But the Emily she was now was skeptical. She'd watched Courtney with guys for four years, and while she seemed undeniably straight, sometimes Emily had wondered if Courtney didn't just love _love_ in general. Would she really differentiate between a guy's love versus a girl's? Emily didn't think so. In Courtney's mind, Emily was probably just another toy she could play with until she got bored. But her "favorite" toy? Emily wasn't entirely sure what _that_ meant.

"I think she's just mad I'm not under her thumb anymore," Emily finally replied. "You've seen her with guys. I don't think she really 'likes' anyone. She just likes the attention."

Hanna nodded, seeming to agree.

"It kind of sucks that you told her, though," she said. "Now we have to be all Mission Impossible: Radley Sanitarium. I'm worried we haven't really thought everything through."

"I know," Emily responded, _really_ wishing she hadn't brought Courtney, too.

She felt like the pain it had caused Ali had been totally her fault. It had even led to that terrible conversation, Ali telling her they were a mistake, telling her to leave. When Ali was talking, she'd felt like she was slowly getting cut off from a lifeline she needed to survive. Like a leaking oxygen tank or a pace maker slowly running down. But she'd flat out refused to let that happen.

And she was happy she had because it meant the blonde had been melting in her arms minutes later, unable to resist what Emily already knew: that Ali needed her just as much.

"Have you told Jason?" Hanna asked. "He's the reason you brought Courtney there, right?"

"Oh my God," Emily said, having completely forgotten about him.

She reached for her phone before realizing she didn't have it, she'd given it to Ali. This had happened to her at least a dozen times already.

"Do you have Jason's number?" she asked Hanna anxiously. "I totally forgot about him. I don't want him to be worried if they find out she's missing."

"No," Hanna said sadly. "I never really talked to him. Aria might have it, but I don't know if we want to tell her about all of this."

"Definitely not," Emily replied quickly.

"What if we called their house?" Hanna suggested.

"Courtney might answer. Or figure it out."

"Shit," Hanna said.

Emily sat there, nervously picking at a nail. "Well, I guess we can tell him after we get Ali."

But as she said it, she saw a shadow looming in her periphery, just outside the passenger side window. It scared Emily, making her jump a foot back, practically into Hanna's seat. But it was just Caleb.

"Sorry," he said, opening the back door and climbing in. "It took me a little longer. I had to get my computer."

Hanna put the car into gear, and Emily turned to look back at Caleb.

"So, what's the plan?" she asked.

"Here's what I'm going to do," he said, leaning forward between the seats. "During the nurse's shift change, I'm going to use my computer to unlock the gates in there. You're going to go in through the loading zone and use the south stairwell to get up the third floor, where Alison will wait for you. And then just come back the same way. It should be pretty simple."

"Why does Emily have to go in?" Hanna asked. "Can't we just tell Ali what to do?"

"Well, the loading zone door only opens from the outside. I can unlock the door, but you also have to turn the handle, from what I can tell. I'm guessing they don't want any patients getting out."

Emily didn't like the sound of that.

"Where will you two be?" Emily asked. "Are you going to open the door when we come back?"

"Yeah, we're going to park a little ways from the loading zone, so no one is suspicious," Caleb explained. "We'll open the door, and we can text you if anyone else is coming in or out. Maybe Hanna can even distract them if we need to."

"That's my one contribution?" Hanna asked sarcastically. "A distraction?"

Caleb lifted his eyebrows at her. "Unless you can stitch Emily a nurse's outfit in the next ten minutes, yes."

Hanna just shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"I have a nurse's outfit, thank you very much," she said back. "But it's probably not appropriate…"

Emily looked at her oddly.

"Emily, what do you think? Are you ready?" Caleb said, clearing his throat.

"Yeah," Emily responded shakily. "God, I'm so nervous." She shook her hands out, she'd _never_ done anything like this. Nervous was an understatement.

"You should be in and out of there," Caleb said, trying to comfort her. "I looked at their staff list, usually they only have one security guard. I really think it's unlikely you'll run into anyone."

"Got it," Emily said, blowing out a breath, already feeling sweaty. "Let's text Ali."

Hanna opened her phone, but Caleb stopped her.

"No, use this phone instead," he said, handing her a generic looking burner phone. "Just in case."

Hanna nodded, opening the phone. She pulled over on the road just outside of Radley and slowly typed out a text, unfamiliar with the old school number pad keyboard. Emily thought about Ali sitting in her room, waiting and watching her phone for a message. Emily hoped she didn't go through it while she was bored, not sure if there was anything embarrassing on there or not.

"Is this good?" Hanna asked, showing them both the message, Emily glancing over Hanna's shoulder to read it.

 **UNKNOWN to Emily:** We're here. Meet Emily at the south stairwell door on the 3rd floor at 11:15.

Emily nodded, and Hanna sent the message. Not ten seconds later, they received a response.

 **Emily to UNKNOWN:** I'll be there

Emily read it, a small smile forming at the corner of her mouth. Hanna turned, noticing her expression and smiled, too.

"I'm excited to meet her," she said encouragingly.

"Me too," Emily said back, sure that Ali and Hanna's first introduction would be entertaining, if nothing else.

But it was weird for Emily to think of introducing Ali to Hanna or even to anyone else. She wanted Ali to meet her other friends, too, even if it meant telling them about their relationship, whatever that was. But Ali would have to be a secret. Where would she even live? And that was only if they got her out tonight. Emily didn't want to think about what would happen if they didn't.

With the message sent, Hanna pulled into the Radley parking lot, her car lights off. She slowly moved closer to the loading zone as the time neared 11:15. Too jittery to talk, Emily fiddled with her seat belt while Caleb quietly sipped a coffee. Hanna softly listened to the radio.

Emily watched every minute tick by, each one feeling like five hours. Finally, at 11:13, Caleb gave Emily the go ahead.

"Shouldn't she take the burner phone?" Hanna asked, stopping the brunette as she opened the door.

"Oh," he said. "I only brought the one."

"It's 11:14," Emily said urgently. Shouldn't they have talked about this earlier?

Caleb looked at her apologetically. "You'll have to go without a phone. Are you okay with that?"

Not really, but did she really have a choice? She just nodded, hopping impatiently on the pavement.

"Okay, I'll unlock the doors, there's going to be three, the loading dock, the stairwell door, and then Ali's floor's door."

Emily only nodded again, shutting the car door and jogging across the parking lot.

She felt incredibly visible and unconcealed. She nervously glanced up at the building's rows of windows, most of which were closed. But there were still several open, soft yellow lights radiating out into the night. _Anyone_ would be able to see her if they just looked down.

She shivered, her hands shaking worse, as she entered the loading dock. What if she saw someone? What if someone was just behind the door? A thousand possible excuses flooded her mind.

" _Is this not the entrance?"  
"Is it not visiting hours?"  
"I got lost earlier and couldn't find anyone."  
"My mom works here, I was looking for her."  
"Is this not the ER?"  
"I've been living here!"_

They were all terrible but it was better than standing there like a deer in the headlights.

She looked back at the Hanna's car as she found the likely entrance door, a keypad next to it with a steady red light. She signaled to Caleb to open it. A moment later, the light changed to green, and she turned the knob.

When she opened the door, an uncomfortable metal screech emitted from the hinges. Emily winced, checking that no one was in the hallway. Thankfully, it seemed empty. She entered, unconsciously holding her breath, now becoming actually _very_ frightened. She shut the door carefully, noting that Caleb was right. There was no handle on this side. There was no choice but to go forward. So, her eyes darted around, looking for the stairwell.

But she didn't see any other doors, just a long, silent hallway stretching out in front of her.

 _Fuck_ , she thought.

She creeped down the hallway, trying not to make a single sound as she hugged the wall. And fortunately, at the end of the corridor, there was a door with a metal porthole and a sign indicating "STAIR 2." But was "Stair 2" the south stairwell? Emily prayed that it was, not seeing any other options.

She tried the door, but it was still locked, the light on the keypad next to it still red. As she stared at it, several seconds passed, but there was still with no change. Emily glanced restlessly down the hallway, convinced she could hear movement, but not quite sure where it was coming from. She thought, _someone's going to see me any second._ She had to force herself not to bolt back down the hall, bang on the door for release. But she couldn't. Because Ali needed her.

Finally, as if the strength of her anxiety willed it into existence, the light turned green, and Emily shot through the door. She instantly ran up the stairs, before containing herself, and going slower, quieter. The stairwell was dark, not lit, and it was eerily noiseless, the only sound echoing in the shaft being Emily's soft footfalls.

When she got to the third floor, she looked through the window, but didn't see anyone. Where was Ali? She tried the door, but it, too, was still locked. So, she stood there, not quite sure how to proceed.

As she waited, a thousand nervous thoughts entered her mind. What if they'd caught Ali? What if she'd misunderstood the message and went to the wrong stairwell? What if Emily was at the wrong stairwell? Emily really started to panic at all of the possibilities. She was about to go back when Ali's face suddenly appeared through the glass, and Emily almost had a heart attack, jumping backwards, her foot slipping on the top stair.

Luckily, she grabbed the railing, catching her balance. She saw Ali watching her through the window, her blue eyes looking horrified, having watched Emily almost fall. She pointed urgently at the door, mouthing "it's locked."

Emily crossed back over to it and pulled harshly at the handle again, but it didn't yield, not even slightly. Emily shrugged helplessly at Ali. Ali looked consternated, checking behind her for something Emily couldn't see. She ducked back down, and Emily desperately tried to follow her figure, to see where she went.

Emily was still gazing through the window when, suddenly, an orderly passed directly in front of the door. Emily fell backwards, dropping to the floor faster than her legs could catch her. She silently cursed herself, her eyes watering, pretty sure she'd bruised her ass. But she didn't have time to really feel the pain as her eyes nervously flicked up. She pressed herself hard against the wall, watching the red light with more anxiety than she'd ever had in her life. Absolutely no excuses came to mind for what to say when the orderly was standing over her, asking what the hell she was doing there.

" _I was sleeping?"_

God, she was screwed.

But, miraculously, the shadow passed, the orderly walking away. The light also flicked from red to green. Gulping, Emily wasn't sure she could get up and open it. How close was that person still? Could their badge have unlocked it?

But then it opened before she could move, and Emily froze in fear. But she only saw a blonde ponytail swing over a shoulder as the person ducked down next to her. Ali was leaning over her, touching her hand and her hair.

"Are you okay?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah," Emily said shakily, taking Ali's hand. "Are you? Does that nurse know you're out of bed?"

"No, but there's fucking police in the building," she hissed. "I heard him talking on his radio."

Before Emily could respond, they heard the buzz of Emily's phone, the alert for an incoming text.

"Let's put that on silent," Emily said, reaching to do it for Ali. Ali let her, reading the screen, her mouth a tight line. She showed it to Emily.

 **UKNOWN to Emily:** Are you with Emily yet? The police are here, two cars at least. She can't go back the way she came.

"But…" Emily whispered, stammering, "how did they know? No one saw me coming in, there was no one in the parking lot."

"Courtney," Ali said gloomily under her breadth.

"Really?" Emily asked. How could Courtney have even known?

"Definitely," she answered without hesitation.

Emily personally found it hard to believe that Courtney would go that far to call the police on Ali, but anything was possible at this point. She hastily typed back a response, receiving another quick response in return.

 **Emily to UNKNOWN:** Yes Emily here **  
UNKNOWN to Emily:** They're covering the exits. Any other way out?

"The roof?" Ali suggested fearfully. "That's how I got out of here originally."

"But I don't have the rope ladder," Emily pointed out.

Ali looked at her helplessly, as if to imply, what other option did they have?

"Maybe there's another way down," Emily suggested.

Ali nodded, gripping Emily's hand, and they both moved up the stairwell. The roof was just up a half set of stairs, right above them. Ali tried the door.

"It's locked," she said darkly.

"How did you get out there before?" Emily asked.

"I had my lock picking kit. But that's in the backpack I gave you."

"Shit," Emily said. While it was uncharacteristic for her to ever curse, it felt warranted in this situation. She felt trapped.

Ali only gazed at the door. "We can break the handle."

"How?"

"You're strong, right? Use those swimming legs," she said, poking Emily in the thigh.

"That's going to be loud," Emily said glancing nervously down the stairs.

"Better than nothing," Ali mentioned.

Emily sighed, her adrenaline spiking. _Let's do this_.

"Stand back," she directed Ali.

Ali stood away from the door as Emily took a few steps back, taking several heavy breaths. Steeling herself for impact, Emily kicked the door hard. It slammed hard against the frame, looking more askew, but somehow still intact.

"One more," Ali encouraged, though she looked hesitantly down at the 3rd floor door.

Emily nodded and reared back to do it again, but this time she threw everything she had into the kick, aimed squarely at the handle. At impact, the sound reverberated deafeningly off the walls, and she was sure everyone in Radley heard it. There was also the sharp crack of metal as the handle broke off and catapulted down into the stairwell, bouncing off of railings, walls, and stairs all the way down. Emily watched it as if it were a heavy rock she'd just dropped down a well.

"Let's go," Ali reminded her, grabbing Emily's hand and bursting through the broken door. "This way."

They ran across the roof, jumping down to another level, Emily following Ali blindly. She was disoriented in the black night, but it all seemed second nature to Alison. She wondered how Ali knew the roof layout so well, wondering how she'd even gotten out originally. But the sound of shouts and other voices reminded her that she didn't have time to think right now. Only act.

They hid behind an AC unit near the edge of the building, and Ali peeked over the side into the darkness.

"There's a gutter," she whispered, pointing it out to Emily. "Like a water pipe going down here."

Emily looked at it uncertainly.

"Do you think it'll hold?"

Ali shrugged, but her head jerked upwards, a voice sounding out very close to them, not far from the ledge they'd come down. Emily was stock still, cocking her ear, listening for more when movement to her left surprised her. Ali had started down the drain pipe.

"Ali," she hissed as quietly as she could.

But the blonde continued to move gracefully down to the window sill ledge on the floor below, her blue eyes flashing up at Emily fearlessly. Ali motioned for her to follow.

But Emily bit her lip, her fingers gripping the concrete. Kicking open a door, sure. But descending the side of a building without a rope? She didn't think she could do it. She'd never really been a climber.

"Hey," she heard a sharp voice behind her.

She jumped, and, for a moment, she'd thought she might go careening over the side of the building. But instead she managed to roll to the side onto her back. She could barely breathe, she'd been so afraid in that desperate second.

"Don't move," the figure said, and Emily could make out in the pitch darkness that it was a cop, the shiny silver badge reflecting moonlight, his flashlight trained on her. It was blinding.

Emily merely held her hands up over her face as he approached, trying to avoid the brightness of the light. He crouched by her, grabbing her arm, before hearing the creak of straining metal. He peered over the ledge of the building.

"Hey!" he said again, clearly having caught sight of Alison, pointing the flashlight downwards.

Emily turned to look, too, right as Alison looked up into the shining flashlight. It obviously had the same effect on her because Emily could see her turn her head to the side, wincing at the intensity of the beam. But to Emily's additional horror, the pipe creaked again, and she saw two screws start to pull loose from the stone wall.

"Stop right there!" the cop shouted.

"Ali, the pipe!" Emily cried.

Ali's eyes flashed to the pipe, and then up at Emily, her face the portrait of fear. But then it was all fast. Emily watched the pipe slowly pull away from the wall, Ali on it, and begin to careen towards the earth. It slowed, as if it might stop, jerking roughly, but Ali fell off at the momentum, and Emily heard a small thump as she hit the ground.

"Ali!"

 **Did Courtney really tip off the cops? Is Ali hurt? Will she be sent away while charges are pressed against Emily?**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay on posting, I was feeling uninspired. So, this first segment is from Courtney's perspective, which was different but kept me engaged. Also, it's my second shortest chapter yet, but a lot gets done, so it's concise but quality. Basically the opposite of Tuesday's episode. Let me know what you think!

* * *

Courtney was pleased with herself. It felt like homecoming, a full circle. She would wrap up the calamity of Ali's life like she might wrap an exquisite parting gift, and then she would set sail for new waters, a captain ready to stake claim on fresh bounty.

Last night, after the Radley fiasco, she'd gone home and weaved a glorious tale to her parents. She'd told them that 'Courtney' had managed to get in contact with one of her best friends, Emily Fields. And she'd convinced her that she was Alison.

" _She's been impersonating me again,"_ she'd said in near hysterics. _"She's delusional. She could hurt me, she could hurt Emily. She's NOT getting better."_

She'd told them that Ali needed more advanced care, better medicine. The type that only a hospital states away could provide. And they ate up every word.

It was a brilliant performance, really. A master stroke. And also a shame that no one could appreciate it. Courtney hated performing for an empty audience. She wanted people to _know_ how talented she was. But, she figured, at least one person would know. Alison. And Ali knowing that Courtney had utterly destroyed her bid for freedom, that was more satisfying than praise from a theater full of thousands. Courtney hoped they sent her to a new and distant hospital in a dog crate.

It sounded harsh, but Ali _did_ deserve it. No matter what she or Emily or anyone said. She'd sentenced Courtney to four years in hell without even a blink of guilt, a pause of conscience. And, then, even _after_ Courtney had successfully traded lives with her, Ali still managed to continually ruin her life.

Every time Courtney liked a guy, she'd have to ask herself if it was the type of guy Alison would like. Every time she looked at a pair of jeans, a strapless dress, she'd have to ask herself, would Alison wear that? Would Alison play Field Hockey or Lacrosse? Would Alison talk to the new girl or make up a rumor about her? Every time she opened her god damn mouth, she'd have to make sure it was something Alison would say. Ali was in every mirror, every photo, every video. The price for Courtney's freedom was the total removal of Courtney.

And, worse, it _never_ seemed good enough. Not for her father, who seemed to barely register her existence. Not for her mother, who worried anxiously for 'Courtney.' Not for her friends, who slowly came to hate her. And not even for Courtney herself. She felt hollow, a fraud. Nothing was genuine or authentic or real. Her life was run on an 'Alison DiLaurentis' program, her limitations as rigid and as unyielding as the leather constraints at Radley.

Why did she have to do things because _Ali_ had done them that way? Who ever said Alison knew best? Why did Courtney have to listen to _anyone_? Why couldn't she just do whatever the hell she wanted?

And thus Courtney discovered that being Alison was merely trading one prison for another. She was still an inmate bound by a strict routine, her freedom gambled away on the chance for a better life. She forgot what life was like 'on the outside.' And, by the time she was a senior, she didn't need to ask what Alison would do anymore. Because Courtney had become Alison, and Courtney was gone. And she wasn't coming back.

Then, the impossible happened. Weeks away from being free, weeks from creating a new life, starting over somewhere far from Rosewood, Emily did the unthinkable.

Emily fucking Fields.

Of all of her friends who might've discovered her secret, Courtney would've _never_ bet on Emily. Spencer, for sure. Maybe even Aria volunteering at Radley. But not Emily. Not _her_ Emily.

And Emily's sanctimony, her self-righteousness, her passionate defense of Ali. Courtney had thought she was literally going to burst into flames when Emily told her to 'do the right thing.' What the FUCK did she know? Here Ali was, positioned to take _everything_ away from Courtney _again_ , and Emily was on _her_ side. Emily, who had loved her. Emily, who had adored her. Emily, who had hung on Courtney's every word. Courtney had chosen Emily to be her friend, had lifted her up and out of the crowd of ordinaries, or normls, and made her _special_. And for what? _This._

It was still a sore spot in Courtney's mind, a room she avoided, a door she kept closed. It hurt because there were times when she had been almost 'herself' with Emily. There were times when vaguely remembered traits of real Courtney would shine through. She was sweet, she was accommodating. She just felt so safe with Emily, so unjudged, so faultless. She chose restaurants that she knew Emily liked, played songs she knew were Emily's favorites. She even listened to her ramble endlessly about swimming.

Courtney had spent so much _time_ on her, so much _energy_. She still couldn't understand why, how this had happened to her. She'd thought maybe this was retaliation for something Courtney had often suspected, but chosen to ignore. She'd thought maybe… maybe Emily had wanted _more_ from her. Of what, she'd never been totally sure.

Oh, but she knew now.

She knew why she'd been so completely and spectacularly betrayed. Why her first knight, her first mate, her lieutenant had defected to her greatest enemy. She'd seen _something_ pass between Ali and Emily at Radley. A subtle affection, an intimacy. The kind of look she'd seen Aria give her English teacher. The kind of look that Spencer gave that nerd Toby or Ian Thomas. The look Emily used to reserve for Courtney.

When she saw _that_ , she'd been knocked off kilter. She couldn't believe her own fucking eyes. It reminded her of a feeling, of a boy, Clayton Powell, who had told her he was dating someone else in 9th grade. Who the HELL would he choose over her? She was Alison Di-La-Fucking-Rentis.

But it was worse. Emily had chosen Alison Di-La-Fucking-Rentis over Alison Di-La-Fucking-Rentis. And Courtney was ashamed that it hurt, more than Clayton Powell, more than any other rejection. Because it wasn't just Courtney-being-Ali who had been betrayed, but also the small withered, remaining part of Courtney herself.

But she stood up straighter, putting one foot in front of the other, as she strolled into the police station. No one would ever know that soft, innocent Emily Fields had bruised, wounded big bad 'Alison' DiLaurentis. She'd never tell a soul. She'd learned a long time ago that you were always better off with a really good lie.

"Who are you here to see?" the front desk attendant asked her. He was a young looking officer, the type Courtney always assumed joined the force because he had nothing better to do.

Cute, though.

"Officer Wilden, please," she said, her voice sugary sweet, her charm fully loaded.

"Just a minute," the young cop answered with a shy smile. She thought about flirting more, but it was almost too easy. Not enough of a challenge.

So, instead she looked around while she waited, wondering if she could see any jail cells. Wondering if she could see Emily. She thought of her 'best friend' shivering in a cramped room. She thought of her lying on a cot, the springs hard against her back, wracked with worry over fucking Alison.

 _It was me she was supposed to worry about_ , she thought hotly. _Me_ _she was supposed to care for._ Courtney's very blood cells burned at the thought of it.

"He's out on an errand, but he should be back in about fifteen minutes," the cop answered putting down the phone. Courtney flicked her eyes back to him. "Do you want to wait?"

"Sure," she said politely.

"There's a couple of chairs right over there."

She nodded, stepping off to the right, with absolutely no intention of sitting.

"Can you tell me where the ladies room is?" she asked.

"Down that hall, second door on the right."

Courtney headed off in that direction, casting a glance back at the officer, who was now buried in a pile of paperwork. She changed course, heading into a separate area, and began looking for Wilden's office. No one bothered to stop her as she walked down a few halls, past several cubicles. She'd discovered that if you walked with authority, people assumed you knew what you were doing.

She rounded a corner and entered what looked like the booking area, but, to her dismay, her eyes fell on the backs of two people she did _not_ want to see. She paused, her face hardening.

"What are _you_ doing here?" her voice rung out accusingly.

Caleb turned to look at her, looking immediately petulant. Hanna stood next to him, clearly having heard Courtney's voice, but choose to turn slower. Like she was facing an execution squad or a court hearing decision.

"We could ask you the same thing," Caleb retorted sharply.

Courtney's eyes flicked dangerously to Hanna.

"I have a favor to call in," she clipped back. "Apparently there's some confusion surrounding my prints? I think Officer Wilden will be able to sort things right out."

She let that information hang for dramatic effect, her lip curled nastily, her gaze edged.

"Wilden?" Hanna asked bewildered. "From Rosewood High? He's a cop now?"

"Oh, Hanna," Courtney started condescendingly. "Always the last in class."

"Shut up," Caleb said, taking Hanna's hand.

"So, are you getting arrested, too?" Courtney continued, unfazed. "Or are you here to spout off some lies about your involvement in my poor crazy sister's escape attempt?"

"Emily got arrested, too," Hanna said. "Don't you care at all about that?"

Courtney bristled. She was angry because deep down she did care. She did feel a twinge of remorse, she hadn't known Emily would be there. But it was also Emily's own fault.

"Well maybe _Emily_ should've thought about the consequences," Courtney spoke deliberately, taking a step up to stand toe to toe with Hanna. "Before she fucked my sister."

Courtney enjoyed the look of shock on Hanna's face, the shock, the disbelief.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," she continued, pulling her purse close to her body, stepping back. "I've got some business to take care of."

She turned to go, but the sight of her brother, Jason, stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Ali?" Jason asked, looking confused, a newly poured cup of coffee in his hand. "What're you doing here?"

"Jason?" Courtney started, flustered. "Why are you—?" but she wasn't able to finish as Hanna cut her off.

"Jason, she's going to tell the cops to bury Ali's prints," she said. "She's here to screw over Alison."

"What?" he snapped.

Courtney stared blankly back at Jason. She felt bushwhacked, blind-sided. Jason knew, too? Since when?

"That's why you got me out of the house last night," Jason said, shaking his head, looking at the ceiling.

She stood there motionless, running through a number of possible defenses in her mind. This was spiraling quickly.

"Wow," she settled on. "You're so quick to believe her. She's mighty fast at turning people against me."

"No, Courtney," Hanna said, emphasizing her name. "It's you who's turning everyone against you."

"That's not my name," Courtney snapped back, shooting Hanna a barbed look. "You two seemed confused. Just something else to add to the police report, I suppose."

"Police report?" Jason asked, his tone sounding angrier.

"That's right," Courtney said, turning her caustic gaze on her brother. "A follow-up to the call that my sister was found at Emily's house. That _someone_ conveniently didn't share with our family."

"It was for the best," he countered. "I was trying to avoid—well, this."

"She's dangerous," Courtney said through gritted teeth.

"No," he said, shaking his head again.

"You're playing right into her delusions, Jason," Courtney said more harshly.

"Just stop, Courtney!" Jason shouted at her. "I _know_ it's you, too."

Courtney stared him down, wondering if it was a bluff, wondering what he could possibly know for sure. If he had known, for how long? Why didn't he talk to her? Why did he have to ambush her, along with everyone else?

She suddenly felt so alone, so frustrated. She felt a tear try to form, but she held it back. But Jason somehow caught her change in expression because he walked to her gently took her hand, pulling her away from the prying, thunderstruck eyes of Hanna and Caleb.

"Where are we going—?" she yelped in resistance, trying to push him away, but he kept hold.

He pulled her into an unused conference room, shutting the door behind him. She jerked her hand out of his as soon as he turned back to her.

"What?" she asked angrily.

"I'm your brother," he started slowly.

"Duh," she said, resisting the urge to tell him to shut up, to just stop.

"I'm sorry," he continued. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it before."

"You're sorry for what?" she answered, still unwilling to admit anything.

"For all the times we could've been together as a family. For not sticking up for you when you went to Radley before."

"I never-I never went," she started, but stopped, clenching her jaw.

She could remember her relationship with Jason before, as 'Courtney', as herself. They played games when he came to visit. He brought her magazines. He told her gossip and the plot of shows she was missing, shows he would've never watched otherwise. He'd been her only point of joy, week to week, all four years.

But as 'Alison,' after the switch, they never spoke, they never hung out. She'd forced herself to respond coldly to him, to be scornful and mocking, to be just as mean as Alison had always been. So, Jason hated her. And it had been painful. But she wasn't going back to Radley.

"There were times—there were times I thought it was you," he continued. "But I wanted you to be free. So, I didn't push it. I didn't ask you."

She felt herself thaw a bit of that.

"But seeing Ali now…" he trailed off. "It just isn't right."

She recrystallized. Fuck 'right.'

"I don't give a shit about her," Courtney hissed in response.

"Ali could've died tonight," he said seriously. "Is that what you wanted?"

While glaring daggers at Jason, Courtney played the thought out in her mind. Did she care if her sister was dead? She wasn't sure.

"Maybe I don't," she said harshly.

"You don't mean that," he said. "I've missed both my sisters. I've missed you. You don't need to pretend any more. Isn't that what you want?"

She shook her head, turning away.

"Please come back," he continued to plead.

Courtney closed her eyes, not totally sure what Jason wanted from her. Did he only want to help Ali? Did he want her to be Courtney again because he really did miss her? If that latter were true, she wasn't sure she could give him that. She was worried that part of her just didn't exist any more.

He sighed heavily when she didn't respond, the minutes dragging out.

"There's really only two options here, anyway. We could drag this out," he said with resignation, "you could file that police report. You could try to get rid of Ali's prints. We could fight you every step of the way, months and months after you've gone to college."

She looked stoically back at him, her hand pressed hard against the conference table, not enjoying the image of that future. It had been different when she thought only Hanna and Caleb had known. She could smear them, she could discredit them. But her brother? That was going to be difficult. Her dad would dismiss him, but she didn't think her mother would. Courtney could blackmail Mrs. DiLaurentis with her affair, but... it was still a gamble. More and more, she felt like her mom was five seconds away from divorcing her father. It might not work.

She felt like her options were truly limited.

"Or," Jason said, sensing that Courtney knew she was pinned. "we can go to the hospital together, right now. And tell our parents the truth. Leave this all behind us."

Courtney considered his offer, though it didn't really feel like she had a choice.

* * *

Ali laid uncomfortably on her assigned hospital bed. She was alone, the room was cold, and there was an officer standing just outside of her door. She didn't know why, it wasn't exactly like she'd tried to commit grand larceny. She was pretty sure pole vaulting off of the top of Radley Sanitarium did not warrant a police escort.

However, she winced slightly at the memory, looking down at her arm. Her right wrist was definitely broken. Before they'd put the cast on, she could see the bone looking unnatural below the skin, bruised black and blue, the swelling enormous. She didn't know how it had happened, really, she couldn't remember. The doctors had rambled on, telling her she likely had a concussion, explaining the fracture, but she didn't really listen. She could still feel the drain pipe pulling away from the wall, still see Emily's eyes wide with fear, her hand outstretched. Then, the terrible feeling of weightlessness. When she'd opened her eyes, she was on the ground and there were hospital staff and police officers all around her, looking worried, calling for an ambulance. She didn't know what year it was at first.

They carted her to the ER, treating her before her parents had arrived. They were worried she might have internal bleeding or head trauma, that she could die. But miraculously, she seemed okay. The doctors were now waiting for her family, so that they could give them a breakdown of treatment.

Whenever the fuck they got here.

Ali waited for another ten minutes, feeling impatient and slightly irritated. She almost _died_ and no one was here? She worried about Emily, too. _Emily_ would've been here. But then she heard a familiar and somewhat unwelcome voice in the hallway. She could hear her father yelling at someone, it sounded like her doctor. Of course. Yelling always seemed to precede her father's entry into a room.

But her mother came in first, quickly kneeling beside her, pressing her hand over Ali's hair, giving her a hug, holding her non broken hand.

"I'm so sorry, Courtney," her mother cooed, her eyes close and light blue, eerily similar to Courtney and Ali's. "We were at a charity event, your dad was giving a speech, and we didn't see our phones."

Ali noticed now that her mom did seem especially done up, her hair gleaming, her lipstick bright red. But before she could say anything, her dad was in the room, too, towering over her bed. Even in her hazy and concussed morphine state, Ali narrowed her eyes at him. He mirrored the look.

"I'm sure you realize you're in a lot of trouble," he said gruffly, and Ali registered her two siblings standing awkwardly behind him.

"I survived a three story fall," Ali embellished slightly, her voice coming out croaky. "Radley should give me a medal."

Ali watched the ghost of a smirk on her sister's face. She wasn't sure if Courtney thought her joke was funny or if she liked the idea of Ali falling off of a building.

"That's enough," her dad barked, causing Ali to look at him again. "Radley doesn't want you back. They said this was the second time you've escaped and there might've been more incidences? What exactly did you think you were doing?"

"Well, you wouldn't know, would you, dad?" Ali fired back, she could feel her mom squeeze her hand. "This is the longest conversation I've had with you in a year."

"Courtney," he snarled, his tone authoritative. "We're going to have to move you to a new facility and who knows how much that will cost."

"Kenneth," her mom interjected. "Can you lower your voice? Your daughter could've died tonight. The doctors said she might have internal bleeding."

"Well, the doctor in the hall doesn't seem to know a damn thing," he argued.

They continued to trade heated words while Ali took the respite to give her siblings another appraising glare. Jason looked very concerned, worried, his eyebrows heavily creased as he watched his parents bicker. Courtney looked apathetic, though, feigning interest in the medical supply cabinet, her finger pushing at a beige, rolled up bandage.

"Are you listening to me?" she heard her dad say suddenly, her eyes snapping back to him. He was glaring at her expectantly, she had zoned out. The drugs made it difficult to focus with so many people in the room.

"What were you doing with Ali's friend, Emily?" he repeated with annoyance.

Courtney's eyes glanced up from the medicine cabinet to look at Ali.

"Is she—is she," Ali started to ask shakily, but she could hear her heart rate increase on the monitor. It made her feel weirdly vulnerable that everyone in the room could hear it, too. "Is she okay?"

"She's been arrested," Ali's mother answered softly.

"What? Why?"

"Why do you think?" her dad retorted. "For trespassing on private property."

Alison grumbled with frustration, clenching her fist in her mother's hand.

"She was trying to help me."

"Well, that's not the type of 'help' you need," Kenneth shot back.

"Dad," Jason jumped in, and their father rounded on him. "There's something you should know. She _is_ Alison."

Kenneth rolled his eyes.

"Jason, we don't need any input from you."

"It's true," Jason defended, indignant.

Her dad turned away with an exasperated huff, pressing his fingers into his temples. But Ali's mom was still looking at him, looking watchful.

"What are you talking about, Jason?" she asked, her tone lower.

"Courtney," he said, motioning to Ali's sister. Ali's eyes widened a little. "Tell them the truth."

Courtney looked back at him, like he was asking her to pull out one of her own teeth. Ali thought for sure at any moment she was going to deny everything, tell them Jason was stupid, confused. Her father would eat it up. But shockingly, Courtney only sighed deeply, closing her eyes, before addressing their mother.

"He's right," she said after a long, uncomfortable pause. "I'm Courtney. She's Alison."

Ali's mouth dropped open slightly.

 _No._

She wondered if the pain medicine was causing her to hallucinate. Maybe this was a dream.

"I've been Alison since 9th grade," Courtney continued, her voice even. "It was me in Radley for four years. I switched places with Ali."

"Wha—Why?" Jessica stuttered.

"Do you want to tell them why, sis?" Courtney said, her voice laced with poison as she glowered at Ali.

Hearing her sister's deeply entrenched bitterness, Ali realized that this was, in fact, real. It was actually happening. Ali also suddenly had the attention of both her parents, who were staring at her expectantly.

"I lied," she said flatly, doing her part. "I told you that she was crazy in 5th grade, that she tried to hurt me. She didn't. She shouldn't have been sent to Radley."

"What?" her mother exclaimed again, standing up, looking mortified.

Her father put his hand on his hip, a disbelieving look on his face.

"Are you trying to tell me," he started slowly. "That you're Alison? And she's Courtney? And neither of you should've _ever_ been at Radley?"

Ali nodded. He glanced at Courtney. She jerked her head up, too.

"My God," he said, staring up at the ceiling. "The papers can _not_ get wind of this."

"That's what you're worried about?" Jessica asked, scoffing.

"I have a multi-million dollar deal closing this month," he continued. Ali wondered what the hell that had to do with anything.

"Kenneth," her mother reproached. "Who cares about the money?"

"I sure as hell do," he said, raising his voice.

"Our daughters are saying they were wrongfully held l in a mental institution for years. That we've been _wrong_ this entire time."

"Jessica," he replied callously. "I understand that. But I'm also saying that this," he said gesturing around at the five of them. "Doesn't leave this room. No one even knows Courtney exists. And it stays that way until my deal closes."

"What?" Courtney cried out.

"You stay Alison," her dad spat at her. "And she stays Courtney. End of discussion."

"But I don't _want_ to be Alison," Courtney exclaimed loudly, bowing up to her father. "We're switching back," she demanded.

They held a fierce gaze, like a rope pulled taut, about to break. Ali lifted an eyebrow, somewhat impressed. But her mother looked uncomfortable, wanting to avert another dramatic situation.

"You're about to graduate," she quietly insisted, catching Courtney's attention. "There's no need to take this up with the school, to get everyone in this town involved."

"No," Courtney said, shooting her mother a glare. "I've been Alison for long enough."

Ali heard Courtney, but she was confused. She'd spent _so_ much time already as Alison, what did another few weeks matter?

"You'll finish out the year," her father reemphasized.

Courtney looked livid.

"Are you sure, _dad_?" Courtney said caustically, throwing a look at her mother. "You don't even have the right to tell me what to do."

Ali heard her heartbeat raise, not liking what her sister has just implied. She hoped Courtney wasn't planning to drop the bomb of her mother's infidelity during this conversation, too.

"What is that supposed to mean?" her dad yelled back.

"Honey," her mom plead to Courtney.

Courtney looked around the room, eyes narrowed, like she was assessing whether to fully implode the family or not. Her eyes landed on her mother, unwavering.

"Fine," she said, throwing her hand sharply through the air. "But I get to do whatever I want. I'm not going to college. I'm not doing a god damn thing any of you say after that."

"Ali—" Jessica stuttered. "I mean—Courtney!"

But Courtney stormed out of the room, leaving the room deathly silent. Ali could hear her father's labored breathing, her mother's rapid blinking.

"I'll talk to her," Jason said quietly.

Her father only heaved a frustrated sigh.

"Fine," he said dismissively. "I'm going to go talk to the doctor and see how much this little stint will cost us."

Jason looked like he wanted to punch him, but said nothing, exiting the room with Kenneth. Ali closed her eyes feeling exhausted, leaning back into her bed.

"How are you feeling?" her mother asked gently. It startled Ali, she'd almost forgotten she was still there.

"Tired," Ali said listlessly.

"I'm sorry this happened," her mom replied. Ali opened her eyes to look at her and noticed that even through the make-up, the perfect platinum blonde hair, her mother did look worn, wearied.

"What about—what about Emily?" Ali asked, struggling to stay awake, the drugs feeling like they were really kicking in.

Jessica sighed.

"Well, I'm on the board. I can ask Radley to drop the charges, but I'm not sure they'll listen. This whole thing has made them look pretty bad."

"What if we sued them?" Ali suggested. "Malpractice. We could shut the place down."

"We'll look into a case with Veronica. And Peter," her mom responded, looking pointedly at Ali.

But Ali didn't notice it, closing her eyes again.

"I get to come home?" she asked again softly, feeling sleep take over.

"Yes, finally, sweetie," Mrs. DiLaurentis replied, running her hand through Ali's hair.

 **Ali finally gets to come home! And, bright side, Chapter 14 is practically finished (10k words), so I'll post next Tuesday. There's an M rated scene that'll hopefully get you through a potentially Alison-less/Ezra BS/Hanna's dresses/Sydney filled episode.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** I wrote almost all of this a month ago, I'd work on it when I was stressed out, probably the reason my other chapters were late. Sorry! I recommend setting aside some time, though, because this took me for-god-damn-ever to edit, so I'm guessing it's going to take a while to read. Also, let's not forget that Captain Sara Shepard said Ali wanted to be inside Emily last week. INSIDE her. Cheers!

* * *

The last several days had been a whirlwind for Emily. The news that she'd been arrested had quickly traversed Rosewood, as well as the fact that there was something secret going on with the DiLaurentis family. Somehow, though, it didn't seem like anyone had discovered that Courtney had a twin. And Courtney came to school as 'Ali' on Monday, though she pointedly ignored everyone and their not so subtle line of questioning regarding her family.

But Emily didn't really care about that. She was happy to have been released not long after she'd been arrested, before she'd even had time to meet with a lawyer. She still didn't know quite what had happened, she'd just heard Mrs. DiLaurentis had pulled some strings with the board at Radley. It gave her hope that Ali and Courtney had somehow come to some sort of armistice, and that Ali would now be home.

But Emily hadn't been able to see her yet. Despite her short stint at the police station, Emily's mom was beyond _pissed_ at her. Emily had a feeling she wanted to ground Emily for life, but fortunately for her, she couldn't with Emily leaving for Stanford in the next few months. Their relationship was still strained, though. She'd demanded an explanation for what had happened, but Emily didn't really know what to say without potentially outing herself. She didn't think her mom would react _that_ badly to it, but Emily wasn't sure if she wanted her mom to associate Emily's coming out with getting recently arrested, too. So, she just told her that she'd met real Ali and was trying to help her. Which seemed to satisfy her mother for the moment. But she still didn't want her leaving the house.

And Emily was _desperate_ to leave the house and see Ali. All Emily wanted to do was make sure she was okay, ask how she'd convinced Courtney to let her come home. She'd tried calling, but the DiLaurentis' weren't answering their home line, and she was too afraid and angry still to message Courtney. So, finally, reaching her breaking point after several days of silence, Emily had gone to their house to talk to her, but her father had answered the door.

" _No, you're not seeing her,"_ he'd said angrily. _"You're the reason we're in this mess."_

Emily couldn't believe it. Did he mean she was the reason their daughter was free now? Shouldn't he be thanking her? But he'd slammed the door in her face before she could reply.

Confounded, she figured she was going to find another way. She didn't think her mom would believe any manner of lie that came out of her mouth, so she decided to just sneak out. And if she ended up staying at Ali's, she could pretend to have left early for school the next morning. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right?

Maybe Ali really was rubbing off on her after all.

This seemed especially true when she donned all black and climbed out of her window, working her way down the neighboring tree. It was considerably more difficult than Ali had made it seem. Knowing there were no adjacent trees to the guest bedroom at the DiLaurentis house, she also grabbed the rope ladder off of her back porch.

It was heavy on her shoulder as she made her way to Ali's. When she got there, she circled around to the side of the house, looking for the guest bedroom window. When she spotted it, she quickly collected several small pebbles and started throwing them at the window pane, impressed with the accuracy of her aim. She _really_ hoped Alison was staying in that room and not Courtney. She held her breath when she saw movement behind the curtain.

A silhouetted figure peeked out, looking down, seeing the brunette standing on the grass below. It moved and slid the window upwards, and Emily sighed, relieved, seeing the outline of blonde hair framing Ali's face. Ali smiled at her, seemingly amused.

"Can you catch this?" Emily whispered as loudly as she could. Ali nodded, holding out both hands. Emily cast a dark glance at her bandaged right wrist.

"Only the left one," she said, and Ali sighed, retracting the damaged hand.

Emily heaved the top of the ladder, throwing it as hard upwards as she could, and Ali managed to catch it on the first try. She used her elbow to hold it down while she pulled the rest up, latching it under the window sill. When done, she motioned to Emily and, the brunette climbed up the ladder and through the open window.

"We have a front door, you know," Ali said with a smirk, mirroring Emily's line from so many nights ago.

"Where's the romance in that?" Emily quipped back, smiling shyly at Ali as she pulled the ladder up and softly shut the window.

"Is everything okay?" Ali asked, taking Emily's hand as she turned towards her. She rubbed her thumb across the back of it, but Emily pulled her into a warm hug, immediately breathing in her addictive scent.

"You didn't get in trouble, did you?" Ali asked again into Emily's hair. "My mom said she was able to get Radley to drop charges."

"No, I didn't," Emily exhaled, pulling away slightly, her eyes darting uncomfortably to the cast. "But I wanted to see you. I tried to visit, but your dad wouldn't let me in."

Emily lifted a hand to a small, healing cut at Ali's eyebrow, lightly grazing it, frowning. She wondered painfully about what other injuries she'd sustained.

"Yeah, my dad's being a real asshole," Ali said while Emily lightly caressed the cut, Ali noticeably repressing a shiver. "I'm surprised he didn't have me sleep in the basement."

"Why is he mad?" Emily asked disbelievingly. "Courtney's equally to blame, if not more."

"Oh, he's not happy with her either, trust me."

Emily's hand dropped to Ali's cheek, and she stared into her ocean blue eyes. The thought of Ali's dad being so callous towards her made her fume. She couldn't imagine her father ever reacting like that, in fact, she would _need_ him to hug her all night after an ordeal like Ali had been through. But this was also the same man that never visited her in Radley. And not even her actual father.

"What happened?" Emily asked, her other hand touching Ali's cast around her right wrist. "I knew they took you to the hospital, but I didn't know why."

"I guess I broke it when I fell off that god damn pipe."

"It's broken?" Emily asked.

Ali nodded. "It wasn't pretty."

"I can't believe you tried to climb down that. You have nine lives, Ali, I swear," Emily breathed, reliving the moment, seeing Ali flung into the darkness. "I don't know what I would've done if…" she trailed off sadly. "I should've stopped you."

"Em," Ali said gently, moving her fingers over Emily's. "I would've climbed down a hundred walls to get out of there. None of this is your fault."

But Emily still felt dejected, gazing down at the thick cast. Ali's blue eyes shifted over her.

"You should sign it," she said, making an obvious attempt to lighten the mood. "Courtney's the only one who has so far."

Emily snorted at that, but Ali turned her arm to show Emily a giant, emblazoned "A" drawn in red sharpie. The letter easily took up a third of the writing space on the cast. Emily raised her eyebrows.

"Is she being nice to you?" she asked carefully.

"I guess," Ali said. "She hasn't said much. She definitely hasn't apologized. But she spent ten minutes on this, so… you know her."

And, sadly, Emily _did_ know her. As well as anyone could over the last four years. She knew Courtney probably felt guilty, but she'd never admit it. She knew she'd be sweet one moment, then back stabbing the next. She'd keep Ali on a yo-yo, the way she did everyone else. That's how she was. But it pained Emily to know she would never _really_ know. Their friendship was permanently altered, potentially ended. Emily wasn't sure if she could ever forgive her. Not that Courtney would ever ask for it.

"So, did she tell your parents the truth?" Emily asked softly. "Is that how you're home now?"

"Yeah," Ali answered, detached. "Not everything, but enough. I think my brother talked her into it, but I guess I should be grateful."

Emily nodded slightly. "Well, I'm grateful you're here," she said, smiling at Ali, lifting her cast to inspect it.

Ali wiggled her fingers playfully in front of Emily's face, and Emily giggled lightly. Then, staring softly into her eyes, she lifted Ali's knuckles to her lips, kissing each one of them lightly. Ali looked enamored.

"Can I stay here?" Emily asked quietly, slightly nervously, gently setting Ali's arm back at her side. "I've been really worried about you."

Ali did her half smile, not responding immediately, making Emily become worried that she sounded too needy, clingy.

"Sorry, is that stupid?" she asked insecurely, casting her eyes downward.

"No, it's cute, Em," Ali said, taking Emily's hand again. "I want you here. I'm just… not used to people worrying about me, that's all."

Emily smiled hesitantly.

"Also, I've been having a hard time sleeping, and it'll help being with you," she added sweetly.

Emily frowned. "Why can't you sleep? Because of the pain?"

Ali nodded. "And being back at home. It's just… different here. But mostly it's the pain. My wrist just throbs when I lay down, it sucks."

"Have you been taking your pain medicine?" Emily asked, though she had a fairly solid guess at the answer.

"No," Ali said unsurprisingly. "I don't like medication. Any kind. When you're force fed horse pills all day, they lose their allure."

Emily nodded understandingly, though she wished there was something she could do to ease Ali's suffering. She squeezed her hand.

"Come on then," Ali said, with a kittenish glint in her eye, pulling Emily over to the bed.

"I'm sorry there's not more to my room yet," she added gesturing around.

Emily looked around, noticing the room was indeed somewhat bare and undecorated. There was nothing on the walls, only simple furniture, grey curtains. Emily guessed Mrs. D had thrown it together quickly after Ali's unexpected return. But Emily didn't care one bit.

"No, it's good. It already smells like you," Emily said with a faint smile, parting from Ali to go to the other side of the bed.

"You never said what that was," Ali replied, returning the smile as she crossed to her side.

"Vanilla, and… I don't know. You, I guess."

"The best, you mean?" Ali teased, pulling back the comforter.

Emily only smiled, sitting down on the sheets, taking off her shoes. As Ali snuggled in, Emily sat there, awkwardly pausing, looking down at her outfit. She hadn't really thought it through. She was wearing black, dri-fit leggings, and a black tee. And while she could sleep in these clothes, she wasn't sure if she wanted to. But, just as she was deciding to do it, she heard Ali rustling behind her.

"Take those off," Ali directed as she turned around, opening one of her bedside dresser drawers. She grabbed a loose-fitting t-shirt and held it out to Emily, winking at her.

"That's it? Just a t-shirt?" Emily asked skeptically. Ali _would_ give her next to nothing to wear.

"It's summer," Ali said, shrugging nonchalantly, but then she smirked slightly. "I don't want you to get too hot."

Emily rolled her eyes, taking the shirt. Ali looked happy, turning off her bedside lamp while Emily, looking to maintain a modicum of modesty, turned her back as she changed. She didn't hear any noise from behind her, so she nervously glanced at Ali over her shoulder, pulling the shirt down over her head. The blonde was watching her, smirk still in place, as she drummed her fingers lightly on the mattress, her eyes following the long, smooth curve of Emily's naked torso.

"You should probably take your bra off, too," Ali suggested, leaning her head into her palm, making no effort to hide her shamelessly sexual gaze.

Emily shot her an incredulous look.

"I just want you to be comfortable," Ali feigned again, though with even less conviction than before.

"Uh huh," Emily retorted. But she reached back under her shirt, anyway, and unsnapped her bra, pulling it off her arms from under her shirt, and discarded it on the floor.

"Happy?" she asked sarcastically, climbing into bed with Ali, who seemed to intentionally to be giving her very little room.

"Very," Ali sing songed musically back to her.

As soon as Emily was horizontal, Ali cuddled in against her, resting her head on Emily's chest. This was one thing Emily loved about Alison, a difference she'd noticed from the moment she'd met her. She was so physical. Emily never had to guess at what she was thinking or how she was feeling. In fact, Emily had a _very_ good idea what Ali was thinking as they lay there, the blonde's hand playing under Emily's shirt, feeling Emily's warm skin, her fingertips wickedly tracing the edge of her underwear.

But she didn't want Ali to think she only came over for _that_. Emily wanted to comfort Ali, she wanted Ali to sleep. She wanted her to heal.

So, trying to ignore what Ali's fingers were doing, Emily wrapped one hand around her waist, moving it along the column of her back, while the other went into her hair. She scratched patterns up and down her spine in long, even strokes, doing the same to her scalp, feeling her soft hair press underneath her fingernails. Emily had always loved when someone did this to her, it always made her sleepy.

"Mmmm," Ali hummed back in response, pulling closer to Emily, settling a leg comfortably on top of the brunette's.

So Emily continued, feeling Ali's movements slow, her breathing become heavier. She scratched and massaged every possible pattern for as long as she could, before she felt her hands becoming heavy, too, her eyelids slowly fluttering closed.

* * *

Ali stirred from sleep, roused from a shadowy dream. She opened her eyes just slightly and, for a moment, she was Alison DiLaurentis again. She was in her bedroom, filled with morning sun. She could smell coffee brewing down in the kitchen, soft sheets against her skin. Except this time when her eyes snapped open, she realized, for once, it was real. Though not her original room, it was still a room, not a cell. There were no locks, no gates, no shouts. It was only quiet... except for something else, something better. A soothing, steady breathing.

Ali turned over to find Emily beside her again, body twisted in the sheets closely to Ali, facing her. She could feel Emily's hand resting, warm and relaxed, on Ali's hip, like it was anchored there, protecting her, making sure she was real. Ali gazed at Emily's slightly parted lips, her thick, black eyelashes. She looked so tranquil, innocent even.

Ali snuggled up against her, brushing her hand over the soft fabric of her shirt. She wondered if this was what it was like to have a boyfriend, a real one. Not like the boyfriends she'd had in middle school, the ones she'd aggressively informed that they were together. Someone who actually cared about her. Someone who wanted to wake up with her every day. Someone warm and soft to touch first thing in the morning. Unable to stop herself, Ali ran her thumb lightly over Emily's bottom lip, curious about what it would feel like. It felt soft, smooth, and kissable.

Emily squirmed a little at the sensation, trying to sleepily swat Ali's hand away, but Ali avoided her easily, smiling. She took the edge of Emily's t-shirt between her fingertips, lifting it up, running her hand over her bare sides instead, glancing down. As a happy surprise, she'd forgotten that she'd made Emily sleep with so little clothing.

It reminded her that she'd fully intended to take advantage of a half-naked Emily last night. But when the brunette had begun to scratch her back and head, it was game over. The combined power of those two sensations had made Ali suddenly unable to talk or speak, her exhaustion ambushing her like a land mine. All plans and machinations had quickly dissolved, the comforting pleasure Emily provided making her feel safe. At home. And not because she was _at_ home, but because she was with Emily.

Emily made a sleepy sound of protest, lazily reaching to grab Ali's wrist again, but Ali was not to be deterred, moving on top of her, pushing Emily onto her back. She propped herself up on her elbows, letting her legs tangle with Emily's. Emily made another vaguely roused sound as Ali softly kissed her neck, the scent of her skin, as ever, intoxicating.

"Ali," she said, barely awake.

"Good morning," Ali purred back against Emily's skin. Even if she'd been too tired to capitalize on Emily's clothing, or lack thereof, last night, she had no such reservations this morning.

But Emily mumbled inaudibly, still weakly trying to push Ali away, clearly not ready to move or talk. Annoyed but perseverant, Alison kept her pinned under body and started biting the soft flesh of her neck.

"Ali," Emily grumbled again, her hands moving to Ali's waist, trying to make her stop, keep her still. But Ali continued peppering her face with kisses, licking the shell of her ear, and moving her good hand back under Emily's shirt. She tickled her ribs slightly, and Emily jerked, her eyes fluttering open slightly.

"Are you ticklish?" Ali teased. She intentionally tickled her again, and Emily really moved, her eyes definitely open now.

"Don't," Emily said, her tone more pleading, more awake sounding. She tried to protect herself by scooting away from Ali's left hand. But Ali only smiled devilishly, prevented her from escaping, and tickled her again.

Emily yelped, grabbing her wrist. And then suddenly Ali was careening to the side, Emily deftly flipping them over, straddling her. Ali made a move to resist, but Emily took hold of her wrist, restraining her on the bed below.

Alison sulked. With her right wrist being broken and Emily holding her left, there was really nothing she could do. Emily took a moment to enjoy her advantage.

"I like this, it's kind of nice," she said with a wry smile, her voice still scratchy. "You're at my mercy."

"You didn't like it when I was on top?" Ali asked provocatively, wriggling her hand slightly in Emily's grip, causing Emily to tighten her hold.

"You like to tease," Emily said, lifting Ali's hand gently up to her face, nuzzling her fingers with her nose. Her grip was still firm, though.

Ali could feel Emily's warm breath on her fingers, her lips slightly grazing them, like a feather. It had been sweet, gentle when she'd done it to her last night. But now, with Emily sitting on top of her, eyes locked onto Ali's, there was an entirely different ambience to the action. It was erotic, insanely sexy. Ali was so focused on it, on Emily's lips lightly dancing across her knuckles, that she wasn't prepared at all when Emily took one of her fingers into her mouth, closing her lips around it.

"Fuck," Ali hissed, arching an eyebrow, watching, feeling Emily's tongue slide over her finger. She imagined it in her mouth, in other places.

"Let me go," Ali whined. "I want to touch you."

"No," Emily said. "This is for waking me up like that. Why are you so bad?" she asked, dipping it back into her warm mouth again, continuing to work her tongue over Ali's finger.

Ali almost moaned. Her mind went to nine hundred different places at once. All inappropriate.

"Am I, Emily?" she said, lifting her hips up, shifting Emily slightly on top of her. "Am I _bad_?"

At the movement, Emily looked down, and Ali was convinced her eye color turned three shades blacker.

"That's cheating," she said, pouting slightly, her voice lower.

"My bed, my rules," Ali said with a lilt before biting her lip, a move which was _not_ missed by Emily.

She rolled her hips again, loving the look on Emily's face, she was seriously turned on. But it had the same effect on Ali, too, her eyes dragging over Emily's body. She was still only clothed in a t-shirt, a shirt that was, at this moment, riding up with her hips' movement, revealing Emily's inner thighs and thin underwear. Seeing it, Ali desperately wanted to free her hand from Emily's grasp and move under the material, grope any part of Emily she could reach.

She testingly flexed against Emily's grip again, but Emily held her fast. Emily flicked her tongue over another of Ali's fingers, in a punishingly teasing manner, causing Ali to feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest, her heart rate jumping. Emily then released Ali's good hand, leaning over her, and touching her nose to the blonde's.

As soon as her undamaged hand was free, Ali instantly caught Emily's lips in hers, pushing it up and under Emily's shirt, raking her nails all the way up her bare spine to the nape of her neck. She'd wanted to feel the full length of Emily's naked back ever since she'd taken off her bra the night before. She felt like it just kept going and going.

Ali's tongue roamed into her mouth, flicking against Emily's, trying to mirror what the brunette just done to her fingers moments before. Emily's hand was in her golden hair, occasionally moving over her cheek and jaw and mouth. Ali glanced down, taking a breath between kisses, looking at Emily's panties again, thinking there was nothing sexier than seeing how little cloth was between them. She could see the hardening of Emily's nipples through her shirt, too. _Jesus_.

Emily moved, no longer straddling Ali, shifting her body. She took the backs of Ali's thighs in her hands and adjusted her legs around her waist. She pulled the blonde up to her, into her, causing Ali to groan at the contact. As Emily resettled on top of her, she desperately wished she didn't have her shorts on, her core was absolutely throbbing, yearning for direct touch. Ali took a hot breath and brought her hand around to the front of Emily's t-shirt, still under it, the cotton soft against the back of her fingers. She dragged her palm up Emily's supple sides and, just as she was closing a hand around her breast, Emily moaning low into Ali's mouth, she heard a voice cry out far too close to her ears.

"Ali!" her mom shouted through the unlocked door, not four feet away. "You need to get in the shower!"

Emily froze, her head snapping up, her mouth tearing away from Ali's.

"I'm getting up!" Ali quickly responded, albeit somewhat breathlessly.

Emily didn't move a muscle, looking petrified, but Ali almost wanted to laugh at the comedy of it. Her mother _would_ chose this exact moment to walk in. Emily hovering over Ali, Ali's legs wrapped around her, hand up her shirt, after Ali had only spent a few days at home.

But luckily that didn't happen. They heard Mrs. DiLaurentis' footsteps retreating down the hallway. Emily tried to move away, but Ali flexed her leg muscles and held her in place, making a pouty sound. Emily looked disbelievingly back at her.

"Do you _want_ to get caught?" she whispered in a hiss.

"I don't _want_ you to get off of me, no," Ali said easily back.

Emily sighed, glancing back down at the blonde, her hands now planted on both sides of her head.

"Do your parents know?" she asked. "About us?"

"No," Ali answered, inclining her head forward to nuzzle Emily's lips. "Once my parents find out, they definitely won't let you stay over. So, we'll have to enjoy _this_ while we can."

Ali taunted the brunette, not totally kissing her, but brushing her lips tantalizingly across Emily's. Unable to resist, Emily closed the gap, kissing Ali deliciously, fully, but still pulled back after a moment.

"Let's not get found out today," she said. "Your dad doesn't need another reason to ban me from the house."

Ali sighed, reluctantly releasing her with a discontented groan.

Emily moved to the edge of the bed, yawning and stretching. Ali watched Emily grab her phone and type out a quick text, feeling like she'd been promised a present, only to have it taken away moments later.

"Do you think they'll care?" Emily asked tentatively, turning to look at Ali.

Ali shrugged, propping her head up on her left hand. "They'd probably think it was better than me being a psychopath. What about your parents?"

"I don't know," Emily said with a hint of worry. "My parents have always been strict. But I think they'd want me to be happy."

Ali nodded, and Emily started to pull at the hem her t-shirt, like she was going to change back into her other clothes. Ali reached out and caught her wrist.

"Are you leaving? Already?" she asked, perturbed. She didn't do all that work to get Emily out of her clothes just to have her put them back on and leave.

"Some of _us_ have school, Ali," Emily replied with a humoring smile. "We don't all have twins who can take our classes for us."

Ali smirked at that, but pulled Emily's arm, making her angle closer to her.

"Take a shower with me," Ali suggested, moving her fingers over Emily's palm, licking her bottom lip.

Emily watched the movement of her tongue, her round brown eyes betraying her, but she still shook her head.

"I already snuck out of my house and just texted my mom that I went on a morning run. I think if I just don't show up, she's going to know."

"Come on," Ali complained, switching tactics. "I need help, look," she said, raising her cast pitifully.

Emily glanced at it, a look of sadness crossing her features.

"Do you know how hard it is to shampoo your hair with one hand, your _left_ hand?" Ali continued. "I have to put this plastic around it and everything. I need you."

Emily looked conflicted, but after a moment she rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Fine," Emily breathed annoyed, but Ali didn't totally buy that she was all that mad. "My mom probably knows. I don't think I could be in _more_ trouble, anyways."

"Yeah, definitely," Ali said, smiling, slipping out of bed.

She took Emily's hand, pulling her up off the bed, pressing their bodies close. She used her good hand to gently run through Emily's hair, who took a breath closing her eyes.

"But we _cannot_ get caught," Emily added beseechingly.

Ali's smile turned mischievous. "Then you better not be loud."

Emily blushed as Ali winked at her, taking her hand and dragging her to the door. She cracked it open slightly, checking for anyone in the hall. The coast was clear, so she shot out, running lightly and barefoot to the bathroom with Emily in tow.

After they both entered, Ali locked the door and reached into one of the cupboards for the plastic wrapping the doctor had given her. She handed it to Emily, who helped cover her cast, like they were preparing a leftover casserole. It didn't take nearly as long as it would've taken Ali alone, and Emily was soon able to reach behind her and turn the water on for the shower. The sound of the spray allowed them some cover to whisper quietly to each other.

"They said I'll be in this for six weeks," Ali said, flapping her plastic arm around, completely perturbed by the process. "Six weeks!"

"At least you're going to get really good with your left hand," Emily said optimistically, grabbing both sides of Ali's shorts and pushing them down her legs.

"And my mouth," Ali said seductively, kicking them off when they were at her ankles. Emily stood, her eyes immediately dipping to the blonde's lips.

Stepping closer, Ali could feel Emily's breath back on her neck as she reached behind her to pull Ali's tank up and off her arms, carefully avoiding her cast. Almost completely naked now, Ali angled her face to kiss Emily, feeling slightly vulnerable, self-conscious. Emily kissed her lightly back, before it became deeper, harder. Emily's hands began to move over Ali's unclothed body, and Ali shifted her tongue roughly back into Emily's mouth. It was the kind of kiss she'd been wanting to give her since this morning, since Radley, since that night in Emily's bedroom.

As the kiss became more and more heated, Emily reached behind her, palming Ali's ass with both hands, slipping under her underwear. Ali moaned, and Emily slowly pushed the material down her legs, until Ali stood, completely undressed in front of her. Ali felt her heart beat, wild and thick in her throat, while Emily moved to take off her own shirt.

"I can help with that," she said, regaining some composure, dropping her hand to the hem of Emily's shirt.

"Oh, you can take my clothes off but need help with your own? I see," Emily said playfully.

"I'm more motivated," Ali countered with a smirk, quickly removing Emily's shirt and dropping it on the floor. It left Emily topless and in only her underwear, so Ali let her eyes have their fill as she pushed her hand up her chest and over her shoulders.

It had been dark in Emily's bedroom before. She had been buzzed from the whiskey and overcome with what was happening. But under the white bathroom light, everything was laid bare. Every glorious thing.

"I was worried I wouldn't get to see this again," Ali whispered, running her fingers downward from Emily's collar bone, lightly brushing over her abs, trailing back upwards to her breasts.

"You have great…" but she trailed off, her eyes conveying her thoughts, anyway, as Emily kissed her again.

Emily backed Ali towards the shower, their lips still moving in a tumbling tempo. Ali moved her hand down, running her finger over and playing with the fabric of her panties, making Emily grumble with frustration into her mouth. Emily reached down to take them off and Ali helped, pushing them down over her ass, as best as she could with one hand. Then, Emily turned and picked Ali up slightly, placing her into the shower stall. Ali stepped under the stream, waiting for Emily to join her as the brunette closed the glass door.

The blonde turned the heat up, letting it wash over her, running her hands through her hair, exhaling happily. Hot showers were literally the best thing ever. And this one would only get better with Emily joining her. She had never showered with anyone before, and she already liked it. It was oddly intimate.

Emily watched her for a moment before stepping closer to her, the spray hitting her arms and legs.

"Oh my God, Ali, why is the water so hot?" she hissed.

"Not all of us are as blessed to be as naturally hot as you," Ali teased back, making no move to turn it down. Instead, she turned her back to Emily, facing the shower head, letting the water pleasantly cascade over her face.

Emily stepped in behind her, running her hands up and down Ali's sides. Ali leaned back into her as Emily continued to massage her, soap her up, delicately work shampoo into her hair. Ali had to close her eyes during the process, she felt like she was drowning both literally and figuratively in the sensations. And, of its own accord, her left hand inched closer to Emily's center, and she instinctively moved her right, too, wincing in pain as the bulky cast struck the wall.

"Ali, be careful," Emily said, gingerly moving her broken wrist away from the tile.

"Em, this is going to be so annoying," she said. How the hell was she supposed to touch Emily with her _left_ hand?

"It won't be that bad," Emily said, trying to comfort her. "And at least your parents can tell you two apart now."

Ali turned to face Emily, pressing her fingers into the brunette's hips to reverse their positions and move her into the shower stream. Emily allowed Ali to lead her, dipping her head back into the water. Ali watched, Emily's soft neck exposed, her black hair becoming wet. She peeked a glance lower while Emily's eyes were closed, too. She looked even better in water, just like Ali thought she would. _My mermaid_.

"Can _you_ tell us apart now?" Ali asked jokingly, but only partially so. There was still a large part of her that was raw from the whole situation with Courtney.

"Ali," Emily said, somewhat seriously, opening her eyes. She moved her hand to Ali's cheek, closing the gap between them. "I'll always know who you are."

She kissed her lightly then, pleasurably, but Ali felt her reach down, move Ali's wet, dark blonde hair to the side, pulling it away from her neck.

"But just in case," she whispered against Ali's lips, moving her body into Ali's, pushing her back up against the cool tile wall. "I better leave a mark."

Ali was too overcome by the feeling to protest, Emily's front pressed against hers, her skin slick and hot. Emily bent her head, kissing Ali's neck with firmness, and then bit it slightly, causing Ali to whimper.

"Please, not a visible spot, Emily," she plead, reaching her left hand back to knead Emily's ass.

But Ali could already feel the sucking sting of Emily's lips just behind her ear. Then she felt the brunette's tongue massage it slowly, provocatively. _God, her tongue._

"I'd call that even," Emily said pulling back, looking down at her work.

"What? Why?" Ali asked, her eyes fluttering open.

"You gave me the biggest hickey, that night, and you didn't even tell me about it," she said running her hands over Ali's naked stomach, her hip bones.

Ali definitely remembered it. She remembered Emily calling out her name, her fingers inside her, held tight.

"Mmm," she hummed as Emily resumed kissing her neck again. "I don't take it back."

Ali pressed into Emily's shoulder muscles, her biceps, relishing the feeling of Emily's lips trailing across her throat, of her back pressed hard against the wall. Until finally she couldn't hold back, pulling Emily's lips back up to hers. They met over and over again in a messy, wet kiss, Emily's tongue dipping in and out of her mouth. When it would retreat, Ali would tug Emily's bottom lip with hers, and she knew each pull was bringing her closer and closer to a point of no return. She could feel Emily moving slightly, too, one of her thighs conveniently shifting between Ali's, providing a traction just where she wanted it. But as she moaned quietly in approval, Emily stopped moving, pulled back, and placed her hands on the wet tile on either side of Ali's head.

"What's wrong?" Ali asked, nuzzling her nose against Emily's, feeling the impatience of her arousal all too painfully, wanting Emily's muscular thigh to continue its movement.

"We should wait," Emily said with an ache in her voice, as if forming the words had come at great cost. Her eyes revealed her lack of commitment, though, as Ali watched them follow trails and ringlets of water down her breasts.

"For what?" Ali asked breathlessly, seductively dragging her hand over Emily's ribs.

"I want to take you on a date first," Emily said quietly after a moment, seemingly somewhat embarrassed. "Like we talked about."

Ali smiled softly at that, letting her good hand continue to dance teasingly over the toned, bottom portion of Emily's stomach. Ali loved Emily's tall, athletic build. She loved the way Emily was looking at her, hungrily, but also tenderly.

"Can't we do both?" she suggested, feeling more and more turned on by the brunette's gaze, feeling the steam coming off Emily's skin.

Emily didn't say anything back, looking exceptionally pained as Ali lifted her leg up, slowly curling it around Emily's waist. She was trying to emphasize the point that she _really_ did not want to 'wait' right now. But Emily still held her ground, her palms flat against the cold tiles at Ali's shoulders

"We've already had sex, Emily," she said raspily, squeezing Emily's waist with her leg, pulling their bare bodies close and into contact again. It was in the exact same manner Emily had done to her when Ali had been trying not to sleep with her so many nights ago. It felt like a fitting form of revenge.

"You're making this hard," Emily said, looking down at their entwined bodies. Ali could practically feel Emily itching to touch her.

"I want to make it _hard_ ," she said, leaning forward, whispering into Emily's ear.

"God, Ali," Emily said, finally moving her hands from the wall down to Ali's waist.

"I don't want to wait," Ali breathed, kissing Emily's neck fiercely, moving her hand lower, back against Emily's core, her fingers fluttering over her clit. Emily moaned closed mouthed, her cheek pressed hard against Ali's.

"I can't stop thinking about you. About fucking you," she whispered again, licking Emily's ear. She could feel Emily's fingers dig into the skin of her hips, she _definitely_ liked when Ali talked to her. "About you fucking me."

And it was true. Ali had only dreamed that she might get to have sex with Emily again, had only desperately hoped that their time in Emily's bedroom hadn't been their last. She'd especially fantasized about Emily knowing that it was her, not Courtney, too. She never thought she'd find herself again with a naked Emily Fields flush against her.

But, here they were. And what she'd just said had clearly broken Emily's resolve. Emily's hands moved up from her hips to massage her breasts. Her head dipped down, to lick one of her nipples. Ali bit her lip hard, to stop herself from making a noise. She squeezed Emily's backside with her hand and leg, encouraging her.

As Emily kissed, sucked, and manipulated both breasts, her remaining hand dropped between Ali's legs. Feeling her fingers slide up and through her, Ali took a sharp intake of breath and leaned her head back against the tiles. When Emily started to press slow circles, Ali had to force Emily's face back up to hers, mainly so that she could kiss her and moan noisily into her mouth.

And she'd thought Emily was the loud one.

As Emily continued, Ali could feel herself losing focus, could feel her legs begin to shake, a pleasure building uncontrollably. She was worried she wouldn't be able to hold herself up for much longer. She distractedly tried to shift herself to a different standing position, but Emily withdrew her hand suddenly, placing both behind her thighs, causing Ali to look at her questioningly.

"Up," she instructed.

Surprised but obedient, Ali jumped slightly, and Emily completely lifted her off of the ground, forcing Ali to wrap both legs around her middle. Emily pushed her back harder against the shower wall. Ali took a hard and fast breath, closing her eyes as Emily continued her assault, licking, biting, and nipping at her neck.

The brunette rocked into her, showing no strain, and Ali's arousal rose to the next level. She decided it was the singularly most erotic thing to have ever happened to her, being dominated this way by Emily Fields. She'd thought she liked being the one in control, but allowing Emily free range, giving herself over entirely, was a separate thing altogether. She felt consumed and willingly possessed by her.

As Emily continued to move, her tongue lost in Ali's mouth, Ali feeling the friction against her wide open core, she thought she was going to come from those sensations alone. She could feel it building again, now that she knew what _it_ was, and was eager for release. But Emily had other ideas, one finger dancing back to Ali's center. But it didn't move to Ali's clit, it dared to go lower.

"Can I—?" Emily started to ask, but she didn't seem totally sure how to voice her question aloud. Ali had an idea what she meant, though, she had done it to Emily, after all.

"Uh huh," Ali nodded, somewhat overwhelmed, still acutely feeling Emily's taught abs against her center, her casted arm hanging loosely around her neck. She buried her other hand in Emily's hair, occasionally pressing down into her shoulders for balance.

"You've never done it?" Emily asked with concern.

"No," Ali admitted.

"It might hurt a little at first, tell me if you want to stop," she said, her lips close to Ali's. "But I'll go slowly. And, then it's going to feel good."

Ali nodded, enraptured by Emily's full lips as she leaned forward to kiss her, feeling the tip of Emily's tongue against her bottom lip. Then, she felt the pressure of Emily's finger, somewhat uncomfortable, even slightly painful, causing Ali to retract and catch her breath. Emily pressed harder, and she felt a giving, a yielding, and Emily was inside her.

"Fuck," she said, biting her lip, closing her eyes.

Emily brushed her nose against Ali's cheek, moving in and out, seemingly to a rhythm, a quickening beat. Ali had never felt anything like it. She felt such a singular and purposeful focus on her, like Emily was touching her everywhere, all of her at once. She had never felt so voluntarily invaded, so physically connected, as Emily went deeper, causing Ali to whimper somewhat loudly.

"How does it feel?" Emily rasped into her ear.

Ali could barely think, could definitely barely speak. She could only feel Emily's motions. In and out, in and out.

"Good," she whispered, eyes still closed. "Really good."

She kissed Emily again, holding her bottom lip between her teeth for several long seconds, before throwing her head back again and moaning. Emily had squeezed her ass roughly, and it contributed to the unbearable heat that was building low and impossible to ignore. Emily leaned forward to capture the sound, tasting it, swallowing it. Ali knew she was probably being loud, but how was she supposed to not? While the feeling was foreign, it was so delectably wonderful at the same time.

"Oh my God, Emily," she groaned, eyes shut, as Emily's thumb skated over her clit.

It was causing her to feel dizzy, lost in the pleasure. It was too much. She felt the contractions, like her entire body was clenching and loosening, like an opened and closed fist. Like her whole body was a pulse. Her breaths came hard.

As she peaked, she wasn't sure if this moment could ever be eclipsed by anything else. She'd be lying if she said this wasn't _exactly_ what she'd wanted from Emily when she'd whispered in her ear minutes ago. She bit back a loud moan as she buried her face and nose into Emily's black, wet hair, happy Emily still held her up. She was sure she would've fallen down or passed out by now.

After a minute, when Ali came back to herself slightly, she felt the warm water on her thighs again, Emily gently kissing her jaw. She could feel the pain in her limp right wrist, too, the doctor had said heat would make it worse. But she didn't care. It was worth it.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked, looking at her so sincerely, briefly kissing her.

"Never better," Ali murmured as Emily pulled her away from the wall, gently setting her down on the floor.

"You're so beautiful," Emily whispered, rubbing her palms up Ali's back then down over her ass. "Did you like it?"

"Yes," Ali said definitively. "And I bet you did, too."

"I did," Emily said honestly before gasping slightly as Ali traced her hand down between them, gliding her thumb over her sex.

But before Ali could go further, she was interrupted because suddenly, like some sort of demon, Courtney banged loudly on the door.

"You're not the only one who needs to get ready!" she shrieked, shaking the locked door noisily, both girls practically jumping out of their skin at the sound. "I don't care if your wrist is broken, hurry up!"

Ali quickly removed her hand from between Emily's legs, clutching her shoulder.

"Holy shit, she scared me," she whispered. "Thank God I locked the fucking door."

"Yeah," Emily muttered as she moved away and back into the shower stream. "We better hurry."

"Yeah, turn the water cold, I guess," Ali said darkly, shaking her head.

They finished washing their hair, tossing shampoo and conditioner in haphazardly, neither doing a very good job. But after finally exiting the shower, they both threw towels on, and Ali listened at the door.

"I think she's gone," she said, and she gave Emily the go ahead for a quick escape.

But when they opened the door, Courtney was _not_ gone, she was waiting against the hallway wall with crossed arms. She quirked a brow in surprise when she saw Emily emerge, then narrowed her eyes and threw a particularly baleful look in Ali's direction as they rushed past her. Ali made a lame excuse about needing help with her cast, giggling faintly, but Courtney ignored her completely, slamming the door.

Ali shrugged at Emily, who looked slightly uncomfortable, and they returned to Ali's room to get dressed.

"So, what's going to happen after graduation with you two? Are you switching back?" Emily asked, throwing her towel off and sliding back into her clothes from the night before.

"Yes," Ali replied, grabbing another t-shirt from her dresser. "I heard her tell my mom that she wants move to LA and become an actress, can you believe that?"

"I can, kind of," Emily said, leaning over to towel dry her hair. "She's obviously good at playing a part."

Ali watched as she finished pulling on her own clothes, somewhat mesmerized by Emily's thick cords of black hair. Without thinking, she stepped up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist, feeling up the back of her thighs.

"Ali, you're relentless," Emily said, standing straight, turning in the blonde's arms. "I'm never going to get to school."

"Skip," Ali purred into her ear, pulling her close by her hips. "You didn't get your turn."

"I can't," Emily whined slightly, moving her hands to both sides of Ali's cheeks, pulling her back to stare into her bright blue eyes. "My mom would literally lock me in my room."

"Fine," Ali sighed irritably, grabbing the collar of Emily's shirt instead.

She pulled her into a long and lingering kiss goodbye. She didn't want to seem needy, but she was finding the concept of being separated from Emily especially difficult to bear. She wondered if that was normal. When she finally managed to tear herself away, she looked at Emily sadly.

"I'll see you later, right?" she asked.

"Of course," Emily smiled, tucking a blonde strand of hair behind her ear. "Should I use the rope ladder to leave?"

"No, just come a few steps behind me down the stairs, Courtney is probably going to narc on us, anyway," Ali replied with annoyance.

* * *

A few minutes later, Ali hopped down the stairs ahead of Emily, taking two at a time, noticing that Jason, Courtney, and her mom were all in the kitchen and in various stages of breakfast preparation. Ali stopped to enjoy the scene for a moment, it had been so long since she'd seen them all together in the house. It still felt foreign, being back here again, but now at little thrilling too. Like she could finally breathe.

She casually walked across the living room toward the kitchen, grabbing a spoonful of peanut butter from the pantry. She turned as she heard Emily's feet sound upon the stairs and watched as she smiled shyly, saying goodbye to Mrs. DiLaurentis.

"Oh, goodbye, Emily," Mrs. D said sweetly in return. "I didn't even know you were here, let me walk you out."

As Mrs. D crossed over to her, Emily waved at Jason and even Courtney. Jason saluted her, slightly puffy eyed, while Courtney just gazed back at Emily, like she was looking through her, while she picked up an apple up out of the fruit bowl. Emily's eyes slid to Ali last, who winked at her as she licked her peanut butter, giving the brunette a full display of her mouth. She could've sworn Emily's cheeks colored scarlet.

As Mrs. D walked Emily to the door, Ali slumped into one of the kitchen bar stools. She watched as they paused at the threshold, Emily and Mrs. D exchanging a few more kind words, making Ali smile. It was funny how shy and sweet Emily seemed versus how carnal and sexy she had been not twenty minutes ago in the shower.

 _So, so sexy,_ she thought as she made a slow divot in the peanut butter with the tip of her tongue, not so subtly watching Emily's ass as she exited the house. And maybe she was licking her spoon a bit too salaciously, betraying her thoughts, because Courtney made a grumbling noise of disgust next to her.

Ali turned to look, and Courtney was staring right at her. She had both eyebrows raised, a contemptuously mocking expression on her face. Ali shot her a bitchy glance right back, trying to telepathically beam _shut the fuck up_ right at her twin. Jason caught the whole exchange, hiding a smile behind his mug while taking a sip of coffee.

"I didn't know Emily stayed over," Mrs. D said absently, moving back into the kitchen. "With who?"

"Ali," Courtney said pointedly, before Ali could respond.

Mrs. DiLaurentis blinked for a moment, confused, looking between the two girls. Ali knew she was still struggling with their names, since the girl she'd known as "Ali" for four years was now "Courtney." She also figured her mom was probably wondering why Emily would stay over with Ali, _not_ Courtney.

"Girls, no one is supposed to come over here until Courtney graduates, that's the deal," she said sternly to the twins. Ali gazed at her, feeling slightly anxious.

"But I guess Emily's fine," she sighed, shrugging, walking back into the kitchen. "We have her to thank, after all, for getting this all sorted out."

Ali hazarded a glance at Courtney, who looked stonily down at her apple as she washed it in the sink.

"Emily's such a beautiful girl, too," Mrs. D continued offhandedly, grabbing a Tiffany blue mug from the dish washer. "But her wardrobe needs a bit of tweaking. It's either sportswear or flannel, I don't understand."

Ali smirked, looking at her peanut butter.

"Mom," Courtney started curtly, taking a loud bite out of her apple. "Emily's gay."

Ali's smirk withered, and she immediately shot Courtney a sharp look, gripping her spoon tighter. Jason looked between them and decided it was his cue to leave, taking his mug with him out onto the back porch.

"What?" Mrs. DiLaurentis said, pausing her pour from the large pot of coffee.

"You know?" Courtney prompted, lifting her eye brows obnoxiously. "A lesbian?"

"No, she's not, honey," Mrs. D said dismissively, finishing her pour. "Her hair is too long."

Ali snorted and continued to lick her peanut butter spoon, enjoying the irritated look on Courtney's face.

"Yes, she is," Courtney persisted, her tone prickly as she snatched up her purse. "And she's with Ali."

Mrs. DiLaurentis glanced quickly at Alison, who sat up rigidly.

"Gotta go!" Courtney smiled cheerily, fakely, glancing at Ali with a hint of victory. "Bye," she said to their mother, giving her a light hug as she headed towards the back door.

"Your ring, sis," Ali clipped at Courtney, recovering quickly from her sister's newest treachery.

Courtney looked back at her blankly, so Ali sharply jabbed her spoon at her sister's 'C' ring, still on her finger, their mother glancing at it, too. She'd been wearing it at home since the family's conversation at the hospital, Ali wasn't totally sure why. Was she that happy to be "Courtney" again? Did she hate being Ali so much? Regardless, she was supposed to be "Alison" to the public for the time being.

With a flash of understanding, Courtney removed the ring and slid it into her purse. She pushed out the back door without so much as a 'thanks' to Ali.

"Bye hun," Mrs. D said distractedly before slowly turning to her other daughter.

"Is that true, Alison?" she asked, but Ali was busy glaring at Courtney's retreating form through the window.

"What?" Ali tried to play off, hoping her mother had forgotten what Courtney had said.

"You and Emily," her mother repeated, clearly not falling for it.

Clenching her jaw, she met Mrs. DiLaurentis' familiar icy blue gaze. Ali didn't see any other choice as she nodded in confirmation, trying to hide her mortification at having been outed in such a way.

 _Fucking Courtney_.

She hadn't planned on telling her mother about Emily any time soon, maybe ever. Not because Ali was embarrassed to be with a girl, but because the last thing she needed was her parents interfering in her life _again_. But Ali had nothing to worry about as Mrs. D merely sighed with a slight roll of her eyes, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Well, I guess that explains a few things," she said breezily, picking up her phone, seeming to check her messages.

Ali breathed out heavily, having not been aware she'd been holding it.

"You know the drill, then," she continued, her attention still focused on her phone. "Keep your door open and she doesn't stay over."

Ali nodded, grateful that her mother didn't ask any other questions and hoped desperately that the conversation was over. But it wasn't.

"Especially," Mrs. D continued, surprising Ali slightly, her eyes flashing up with warning, "without telling me."

"Okay," Ali said back defensively.

While her mom continued to flick through her phone, Ali ate the rest of her peanut butter in silence, thinking about how she could always rely on Courtney to ruin _something_ for her. Now, she was going to have to be even trickier when she had Emily over. _And_ she'd have to find a way to get revenge on Courtney.

"Have you thought more about what you want to do?" Mrs. DiLaurentis said, interrupting Ali's scheming thoughts, dropping her phone back onto the counter.

Ali paused, thinking about the question. The decision on what to do next was an easy one for her. She wanted to go wherever Emily was going. And she wanted to get out of Rosewood, a town where everyone knew her face. The face of a queen bee, a tyrant, a bitch. She wanted to meet people who had never even heard of Alison DiLaurentis.

"I want to go to Stanford," Ali stated clearly.

"Isn't that where Emily's going?" her mother asked uncertainly.

"Yes," Ali answered.

Her mother paused for a few moments, putting both hands flat on the granite countertop.

"I don't think it's wise to follow someone you're dating across the country, Alison."

Ali tried not to react angrily. Her mom didn't understand. Neither of her parents even knew who Ali was or what she'd been through. But if Radley had taught her anything, it was to control her temper.

"This isn't just some guy I'm dating, mom," she started, trying to stay calm. "Emily helped me get out of Radley, she believed me when no one else did."

Her mother looked away.

"Courtney is going to be in California, anyway. If it doesn't work out," Ali continued with a pang, really not wanting to think about that possibility, "you'll be moving her, right? I can just come down there with you two. We can figure it out."

Her mom appeared to consider it.

"Well, Stanford's a good school," she said. "Though it's obviously too late for you to get in this year. But… we do have a family friend that works there. Maybe we can get you into a program where you go to a community college until you can apply next year."

"That sounds perfect," Ali said happily.

"Both my girls in California," her mother mused wistfully. "Who would've thought?"

Ali tried to imagine it. She was happy Stanford was a good several hundred miles away from Los Angeles, but it was still comforting that her mother wouldn't be _too_ far away. Maybe she would come visit occasionally. Ali had spent far and away the most time with her mother since she'd been locked in Radley. She'd visited the most, brought Ali new books and clothes, and encouraged her to keep taking classes. Ali would definitely miss her.

"One thing, I was wondering, too," Ali started off slowly. "I want to—I want to ask Emily to go on a road trip with me out there. For two weeks."

Her mother watched, guarding her expression behind her coffee cup, potentially sensing Ali was about to ask her for something.

"And I need a car."

 **Enjoy tonight's episode! One more chapter and an epilogue left.  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Sorry no notifications went out for the last chapter, so if you missed reading it, go back before starting this one! Also, I decided to get this chapter out after I finished having an existential crisis after 7x14. I'm still mad. But whatever, yay, fanfiction.

* * *

Emily had been _so_ late to school, but being weeks from graduation, none of her teachers seemed to care. She doubted they were even taking attendance at this point. Her mother, however, that was another story. When she had gotten home, Pam Fields had interrogated her daughter endlessly on the subject of where she'd been that morning, but Emily stubbornly stuck to her story. She'd gone on a run, it had gone long, so she showered at school.

" _Why are you dressed in all black?"_ her mom had questioned in near hysterics. _"Are you in a gang? Are you doing drugs? Just because you're 18 doesn't mean you have a right to do whatever you want, you still live under my roof!"_

Emily sighed thinking about it. She knew she would have to tell her mother about the extent of her relationship with Ali eventually, but she worried that her mom might actually prefer that Emily _was_ in a gang over dating another girl. Pam had always wanted Emily to be 'perfect,' and Emily was sure that meant graduating from Stanford with high grades, tons of swimming accolades, marrying a man, and having 2.5 children. Emily wasn't sure if she could accomplish one of those things, much less all of them, and she didn't know how her mother would handle that reality when it came down to it.

So, she sat quietly on her bed, having finally freed herself from her mother's never-ending and needling questions. She picked up her phone, wishing she could text or talk to Alison. Emily was slightly worried, Ali had seemed especially loathe to leave her earlier, and she wanted to make sure she was okay.

Emily closed her eyes, clenched her phone a little harder in her hand. Thinking about Ali in any form or fashion that day had eventually led her to thinking about Ali in her bed and in the shower that morning. Her pink lips, her wet hair, her smooth skin. Emily still couldn't believe she'd lifted Ali up against the wall like that, she wasn't totally sure what had come over her. She hadn't planned on it, she just wanted Ali _so_ badly. Especially when she was whispering into her ear, her hand ghosting Emily's inner thigh.

" _I've been thinking about fucking you, about you fucking me,"_ she remembered, Ali's husky voice floating unbidden into her mind. Emily could practically feel the water spraying across her back again, the muscles of Ali's legs tense around her hips.

She grumbled to herself, laying back against her comforter. She bit her lip, feeling a bit flustered. It was still crazy to her that she had a girlfriend, that she had an _Ali_. Someone who she could love, someone who she could kiss, someone whose clothes she could peel away, eliciting the sexiest sounds she had ever heard. Emily had never particularly understood the point of sex before, she'd thought it was just some inside joke she wasn't clued in on. But now it seemed like it was all she thought about. Sex with Ali in a pool, sex with Ali on a beach, sex with Ali on a table. She didn't know whether she should be happy or sad that she finally fit a teenage stereotype.

She absently flitted through her text messages in an seemingly fruitless effort to distract herself. Fortunately, her phone vibrated, a new message having just arrived from Hanna.

 **Hanna to Emily:** Hey I still want to meet real Ali. Can we go shopping today or something? The Brew?

Emily sighed, typing out a quick response.

 **Emily to Hanna:** My mom's on a warpath, I don't think she wants me to leave the house right now.  
 **Hanna to Emily:** Why?  
 **Emily to Hanna:** I don't know, Han, maybe because I got arrested three days ago.  
 **Hanna to Emily:** So? You're out now, and it was a mistake. Does she not know about Ali?  
 **Emily to Hanna:** She knows about Ali, but not about everything…

There was a pause as Emily watched Hanna type a response.

 **Hanna to Emily:** What if we invited her?  
 **Emily to Hanna:** To meet Ali?  
 **Hanna to Emily:** Why not?

Emily considered it. Her mom might actually respond well to being invited, she always loved when Emily included her, especially in a 'feminine' task like shopping. Emily always thought showing interest in girly things secretly assured something about Emily's sexuality within Pam. But meeting Ali? What if she picked up on Emily feelings? And would Ali's parents even let her out of the house?

 **Emily to Hanna:** Last time I went over there, her dad acted like she was under house arrest, too. But her mom seemed nice this morning  
 **Hanna to Emily:** This morning, Em?

Hanna sent a purple devil emoji after that, and Emily cursed herself for her slip up.

 **Hanna to Emily:** We'll discuss your indiscretions later. But we could invite Mrs. D too if it's a problem  
 **Hanna to Emily:** Hell, we can even invite my mom. I told her about Ali and she doesn't believe me. I got her to make a bet, too, come on Em, I need new heels!

Emily sighed.

 **Emily to Hanna:** Okay, I'll ask. But I don't know how to contact Ali if my mom does say yes

Just as she sent the message, though, she got a new text from an unknown number. It made her heart jump a little. She desperately hoped it was from Ali, not some weird promotional text telling her that lotions were 25% off.

 **UNKNOWN to Emily:** Hi Em, it's Ali, we just left the Apple store, I have a new phone! And it doesn't flip open and closed, which is a big upgrade

Just seeing Alison's words looking back at her brought a smile to Emily's face. It was as if she had known that Emily was thinking and talking about her to Hanna. Emily quickly saved her number and thought out a reply.

 **Emily to Alison:** That's GREAT news! Are you still with your mom? Do you both want to get coffee and go shopping with Hanna, me, and my mom?

Emily stared at her phone, waiting impatiently for a response. If Ali said yes, she would be ten times more motivated to get her mother to attend with them. She would agree to try on all the feminine, straight girl outfits Pam wanted.

 **Alison:** I'm not really supposed to be out and about, but she said yes . Meet at The Brew in 30?  
 **Alison:** Also, heads up, Courtney outed us this morning to my mom, so she knows. She seems cool though

Emily furrowed her brows, looking at the second text. The excitement she felt to meet up with Ali was sharply replaced by a stab of anxiety in her stomach. Courtney outed them? Why? Would Mrs. DiLaurentis tell her mom, too? Emily had really hoped she could get a little more time before having to say something, but maybe that day was today.

Sighing, she shook her head, jumping out of bed and heading back downstairs. Regardless of what happened, it was time to persuade her mother to go shopping with Hanna, Ashley Marin, Jessica DiLaurentis, and Ali.

* * *

Half an hour later, Emily and Pam Fields parked in front of the Brew. Emily had changed out of her all black get up and into something more endearing; a pair of skinny jeans and a loose, white graphic tee. Her hair was still a mess from drying wet that morning, so she'd put it up in a tight ponytail, her long, straight black hair falling into the middle of her back.

Convincing her mother to come (and to let Emily leave the house as well) had taken some coaxing, but she'd managed to play on Pam's curiosity about meeting the secret DiLaurentis twin. She'd also known that her mother had more than a few choice words to share with Jessica DiLaurentis. Like, "why did my daughter get arrested for your daughter?" and other unpleasantries. Emily only hoped she wasn't around when the conversation came up, but was happy for any excuse to see Ali.

But Pam was in a better mood when they pulled up, chatting animatedly to Emily about new shops and boutiques that had opened up in the square. Emily listened politely, though she had very little interest in the subject. She wanted to keep her mom happy, and Pam seemed absolutely thrilled to know exactly where Emily was and what she was doing.

After they got out of the car and shut the doors, they tried to decide whether they should go into the Brew or wait outside. But a large, baby blue, almost silver Mercedes SUV pulled up behind them, pausing at the curb. Emily glanced curiously at it, watching one of the dark tinted windows roll down on the passenger side.

"Woah," Emily said, seeing Ali's face revealed from behind the glass, her blonde curls situated perfectly at her shoulders.

Emily stepped up to the door, putting her hand on the frame. She could smell the scent of fresh leather wafting out from the interior.

"Did your mom get a new car, Ali?" she asked excitedly.

"No," she said somewhat coyly. "I did."

"Wow," Emily said again, looking over it in awe. She realized that it was the exact same grey blue as Courtney's convertible. _Fitting_ , she thought.

"This is sweet, Mrs. D!" Emily continued, addressing Ali's mom who was driving, a pair of posh sunglasses sitting on her nose.

Mrs. DiLaurentis smiled warmly at Emily. "Of course she won't be able to drive it for a while, but why not have something to look forward to?"

Emily watched Ali make an irritated look, glancing down at her cast. But then Mrs. D acknowledged Pam, who was standing behind her daughter looking somewhat awestruck. It took Emily a moment to realize that her expression was not in reaction to the brand new, expensive car, but at the sight of Ali herself.

"We're going to park," Mrs. D explained, shifting the car back into gear. "But we'll meet you ladies out in front?"

"Yes," Pam said, nodding and smiling distractedly.

Ali shot Emily her characteristic smirk, her bright blue eyes glittering, before they pulled away and rounded the side of the building. Emily tried not to blush. Pam then turned to look at her, forcing Emily to quickly school her features back into normalcy.

"She looks _just_ _like_ _her_ ," she stated in a hushed voice, her eyes wide.

"I know, mom, they're twins," Emily said, gently teasing her.

"Well, you know how some twins don't look _exactly_ alike? They do. I would have never realized—" she said, stuttering slightly, looking in the direction of the departed Mercedes. "I mean, did you know Ali had a twin?"

"Uh—no not exactly," Emily said, suddenly feeling under the gun.

"How did you find out?" she asked inquisitively. "How did you say you two met again?"

"Erm—" Emily started, but at that exact moment, she heard Hanna catcall behind them, and a wave of relief flooded over her.

"Hello Pam," Ashley Marin said to Emily's mother, smiling brightly next to Hanna as they approached. Pam had to concede her question, turning to greet and hug Hanna's mom.

As their mothers continued to catch up, Hanna moved over to Emily, pushing her shoulder playfully. Emily took one look at her and rolled her eyes, a harassed smile on her face.

"You are way too excited about this," she said.

"So what if I am?" Hanna said, smiling impishly. "It's not every day I get to meet my best friend's _girl_ friend," she finished, leaning in to whisper the last part.

Emily reddened immediately. "She's not—we're not—I mean, I don't know what—"

But then Pam turned her attention on Hanna, asking about what new fashion pieces she'd made lately. Hanna radiated excitement as she described a black, lacy dress she'd begun working on, her teasing of Emily quickly forgotten. But before Pam could get more than a few more questions out, Ali and her mother were walking up the pavement, Ali's eyes flicking between the three new women.

Jessica gave a small wave to both mothers.

"Hello Ashley, Pam," she said before turning slightly towards Ali. "This is my daughter, Alison."

"Nice to meet you," both Pam and Ashley said, albeit with slight awkwardness. After all, they had already met 'Alison' hundreds of times at least.

"Nice to meet you, too," Ali said demurely, instinctively reaching out her right hand to shake their hands, but she had to correct herself, uneasily switching to the left.

Ashley shook it first, then Pam second. Ali glanced at Hanna, sizing her up, but her mother jumped in before they could properly meet.

"Ready to go inside?" Mrs. D asked the group. "I know there's a few things we need to catch up on."

 _That's an understatement_ , Emily found herself thinking.

But everyone easily acquiesced, Jessica smiling placidly as she held the door open for the girls to enter. Hanna shot Emily a double eyebrow lift, and Emily had to repress a smile as they filed into the Brew, joining the line to order. There was a somewhat tense silence before Pam turned to Ali, glancing at her cast.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened, Alison?" she asked conversationally.

"Of course not, I—uh—" Ali started, looking at her cast uncomfortably, turning the giant A away from Emily's mother's eyes. "Broke it. I fell at Radley."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Pam replied sympathetically, glancing furtively at Jessica. "From what my daughter tells me, you've been through quite an ordeal."

"Thank you," Ali merely said in return, her mother's eyes flickering alertly between Pam and Ali.

"Ali, do you want to go sit down with Emily and Hanna? We'll bring your drinks," she said, but Emily could hear that it was less of a suggestion and more of a demand.

"Sure, mom," Ali responded calmly, nodding to Emily.

As they turned away, Hanna leaned towards her mother, Emily could just hear her whispering, "Jimmy Choos please." Ashley gave her a perturbed look in response.

As Ali looked for a place to sit, Emily and Hanna trailed after her, but Emily's gaze lingered on the group of moms. Jessica appeared to be describing something in a hushed and quiet manner, and Emily desperately hoped it wasn't about her and Ali. Ali's eyes followed Emily's as they sat down next to each other on a plush couch, Hanna opting to sit in one of the big arm chairs across from them.

"Don't worry," she said comfortingly to Emily, seeming to read her thoughts. "I'm sure she's explaining the whole I'm Alison, she's Courtney thing. 'Don't tell anyone', 'be very discrete', 'could affect your future,' I got an earful of it in the car."

Emily felt a little relieved, looking back at Ali with a small smile.

"It's nice to see you outside of your house," she said lightly.

"Thanks," Ali said sweetly back.

"Is your wrist feeling any better?"

"It feels better now," she replied, her blue eyes trained squarely on Emily.

Emily couldn't look away as she settled into the couch more closely to Ali. She could stare into those eyes forever. But Hanna cleared her throat, reminding Emily that they weren't alone. She'd almost entirely forgotten that she was there, and Hanna's expression seemed to indicate that she thought as much.

"Look lovebirds," she said with mock irritation as she dug through her purse. "You can keep mooning into each other's eyes all day or you can get to work," she finished, holding up a red sharpie.

"Hanna!" Emily said excitedly.

She immediately took the sharpie, gingerly taking Ali's cast into her lap. She'd been thinking about how she wanted to decorate it ever since she'd forgotten to sign it that morning. She popped the cap off and carefully began drawing several, thick and curling X's and O's in the corner of the cast. She looked up to gauge Ali's response, but the blonde was still looking at Hanna appraisingly.

"Hanna," she said finally. "Emily's talked about you, but you look familiar."

"You look familiar, too," Hanna replied jokingly back, holding Alison's gaze. "You probably remember me being desperate to be your friend back in middle school."

"Ah, yes," Ali replied back musically, smiling slightly. "Well, it's nice to meet you again. Thank you for helping us. With everything."

"Sure," Hanna said. "I didn't do much honestly. Emily wouldn't even let me put her in a nurse's costume."

"Nurse's costume?" Ali asked, smiling at Emily teasingly. Emily refused to acknowledge it, cheeks feeling hot, as she focused on rounding out a thick, bright O.

"How could you tell I wasn't Courtney?" Ali asked curiously, turning her attention back to Hanna. "When my mom and I walked up?"

"Well, number one, Courtney is avoiding Emily like the plague," she commented, Ali's eyes briefly flicking over to Emily.

"And number two, it's pretty obvious from your fancy new accessory," Hanna added indicating Ali's cast. "That's going to be tough to pair outfits with."

Ali looked down at it, sighing. While Ali's attention was diverted, Hanna took the opportunity to look more closely at Ali, combing over Ali's features; her hair, her eyes, her stature.

"And, don't get me wrong, you two look _dead_ alike, but I can see the differences," she said with some self-satisfaction. "Honestly, I'm a little surprised that Emily couldn't."

"It was at night," Emily defended, feeling pained at the thought.

"Of course _you_ wouldn't notice they have totally different shades of hair color," Hanna said sardonically, giving her best friend a hard time.

Emily merely pursed her lips, looking back down at Ali's cast with a deepening frown. It was still a sore spot for her, even if Hanna couldn't have known. She hated that she hadn't guessed the truth and for so long. Even Ali had brought it up, just that morning. It made her feel stupid and gullible.

Alison watched her, picking up on Emily's hurt, and looked at Hanna with a slight tinge of annoyance.

"That's not totally fair," she said, an underlying hint of aggression in Ali's voice. It made Emily look up again from her doodling. "I'm not pretending to be her right now. Do you want to see my impression?"

Emily glanced at Hanna, who didn't seem phased, but Emily wasn't entirely sure _she_ wanted to see Ali do a true impression of Courtney.

"Shoot," Hanna said with piqued interest.

Alison glanced back at their mothers, who were all still talking quietly and waiting for their coffees. It instantly reminded Emily of Courtney, of all the times she had checked her surroundings before doing something bad or dangerous or illegal.

Then Ali turned back to them, a closed, hard expression on her face. Her gaze was pointed, like a blade, her eyes fast moving and sharp as they turned on Hanna. Emily felt herself tense. Ali had only ever looked at one person like that since Emily had known her: Courtney.

"Just because you're not Hefty Hanna anymore," she said with a smooth, well-practiced condescension. "Doesn't mean you know everything."

Hanna's mouth fell open. And so did Emily's. The imitation was perfect. The cutting tone, the haughty head tilt. Even the way Ali had slightly adjusted her posture. For a split second, it really felt like Courtney was there, that it was her arm laying in Emily's lap. Emily almost wanted to pull away from it. But watching Ali's face after a few seconds, she saw the mask fall away, Courtney was gone, and Ali looked like herself again.

"Woah, never mind," Hanna said, holding a hand up. "I take it back."

Ali looked back at her with considerably less severity and emotion, but Emily could still see a slight tightness.

"I just wanted to make the point that Emily isn't stupid," she said. "My sister and I are very good at impersonating each other."

"Point taken," Hanna conceded again, blowing a breath out, averting her eyes away from Alison. She fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, like she was considerably less enthusiastic about being there. Emily watched a look of remorse flicker across Ali's face.

"I'm sorry I said that," Ali said, her tone softer, leaning towards Hanna. "That's a really rude nickname. You're gorgeous, seriously."

Hanna looked back at her, her eyes still looking wounded.

"If my sister really says shit like that to you, it's just because she's jealous," Ali continued. "I taught her not to like competition, and you clearly are."

Hanna smiled, noticeably thawing at that argument.

"That's what I try to tell her," Emily said quietly, looking back down at her the red sharpie, pressing the tip to the cast to sign her name.

"I like hearing nice things come out of your mouth," Hanna finally responded, crossing her legs and leaning back in her chair. "It's like a weird therapy. A few more hours, and I'm going to make you tell me you really did like the skirt I designed sophomore year."

Ali smiled, shaking her beautiful blonde head. "I'll say whatever you want, I owe you and Caleb."

Emily smiled to herself, happy that they seemed to be getting along. And the timing was fortunate because, just then, Pam, Ashley, and Jessica rejoined them. Jessica handed her daughter another white mocha, and the same expression of overwhelming excitement lit up Ali's face, like the cup of coffee was a million dollars. It was adorable to Emily.

* * *

An hour or so later, the group of moms and daughters had walked in and out of several different stores, finally settling on a boutique that had a wide selection of summer dresses. Hanna immediately set to work, bluntly informing Emily that she would be trying on whatever she gave her, whether she liked it or not. Normally, this would've been Emily's hell, but with Ali, it was only marginally irritating.

Her mother and Ashley were going through the jewelry, Mrs. DiLaurentis was critically assessing the sale section, and Emily was half-heartedly looking through shelves and shelves of colorful clothing. But mostly she was just shadowing Ali. The blonde was deep in a rack of cocktail dresses and glanced up at her with a smile.

"Do you like this color?" she asked, holding up a vibrant blue dress in front of her, tilting her head to the side.

"Yeah," Emily said, feeling like the color really brought out her eyes. Though honestly she would like anything on Ali. Or nothing at all.

"That's really nice," Pam said from behind Emily, surprising her slightly. She hoped her mother hadn't caught the way she'd been looking at Ali, Emily wasn't sure if it had been totally platonic.

"It goes really well with your necklace," Pam continued. "It's beautiful, by the way."

Emily glanced at it, too, pleased that Ali still wore her gift.

"Thank you," Alison said with a kind smile, touching the metal lightly with her fingers. "It's very special to me. I really like yours, too," she said, indicating the small diamond around Pam's neck.

"Oh, thank you," Mrs. Fields said happily in return. "You know, my husband gave it to me for our anniversary several years ago."

"Where is he?" Ali asked curiously. "Will I get to meet him soon?"

"He's on tour," Pam responded with a sigh. "But he promised he'd be back to visit before Emmy goes off to college."

"That'll be really nice," Ali said, looking at Emily with a small smirk. Emily knew she was thinking of her mom's embarrassing nickname. But she surprised Emily by turning back to a separate rack and picking up an emerald green top. She held it out to Emily's mother.

"If you try this scoop neck on, I bet it'll really compliment the necklace for next time you see him."

"Oh, thank you, Alison," Pam said, delighted. Ali looked satisfied, returning her attention back to the dress rack as Pam moved towards the changing room.

From what Emily had seen so far, Ali had done a fantastic job of charming Pam, Ashley, and Hanna. Their shopping adventure had become a competition between the three around who could talk to Ali the most. It was like a basket full of puppies vying for a new owner's attention. Though this was nothing new for Emily to witness from Courtney, it was nice to see that Alison had that same effect, or same power over people. Like the very ocean would part for her. And it seemed to work even stronger for Ali, since it wasn't diluted by Courtney's anger and detachment.

Emily pretended to be interested in the dress rack, too, standing close next to Ali. Ali moved through a few hangers before lightly brushing her fingers against Emily's, in what would have looked to anyone else like a perfectly innocent accident. But when Emily looked over, she was smiling slightly, her lips looking full, her brilliant blue gaze flickering over Emily in a way that made her hold her breath.

"Ali, Emily, time to try on dresses," Mrs. D said, emerging from the changing rooms. "Hanna's ready for you."

Emily playfully rolled her eyes, their moment spoiled, as she made her way over, Ali behind her. There were only a few changing areas, and they were separated by huge, billowing curtains that hung from the ceiling, rather than actual, closed off rooms. But it was clear whose area was whose, Hanna had laid out selections for each on a hanger beside each curtain.

"Hanna, are you saying I wouldn't wear this?" Emily asked, touching her hand to the hem of a flaming red, deep v-neck cut dress on the opposite stall, obviously meant for Ali.

"As much as I would love that, Em," Hanna said as she gestured at Emily's dresses, all of which were far more modest and in neutral colors. "We should probably start with baby steps."

Emily rolled her eyes, in earnest this time, grabbing one of the dresses and slinking into her changing room. She tore her clothes off without ceremony, put it on, and looked at herself morosely in the mirror. The dress was a faded blue color, but it felt short on her legs, her shoulders looked wide and giant. God, she hated this process.

"Oh, that looks great, Ali," she heard Mrs. D coo from outside her stall. She pulled her curtain back to peak out and take a look.

Alison modeled the same red dress in front of a large, standing mirror, and Emily couldn't stop her eyes from following the dip of the neck line, the seams of each curve, and the roundness of her ass.

"Good, huh?" Hanna said quietly to Emily, coming to stand next to her, clearly having caught her wondering gaze. Emily merely nodded, slightly embarrassed.

Ali didn't notice their exchange, though, moving her hair from side to side in pretend pony tails.

"This would definitely look great with an up do, Hanna," she said.

Jessica nodded, too, while she stood in front of her daughter, casually appraising the dress, when suddenly she perked to attention. Ali let her hair fall back to her shoulders.

"But can we try a smaller size? This is a little loose right here," Ali added, unaware, pointing at her side.

"Alison," Mrs. DiLaurentis' said, almost accusingly, taking a step towards her daughter. "What is that?"

"What?" Ali asked distractedly, pinching the material under her arms, looking for a hole or a stain on the dress.

Jessica stepped up behind her, and moved her hair back behind her shoulders again, and Emily froze, knowing instantly what Mrs. D had seen. The hickey. The one Emily had given Ali that morning. Emily could faintly see it in the mirror reflection, Ali had clearly tried to cover it with makeup, but had certainly not done an adept enough job to trick her mother.

"I—" Ali started, eyes wide, when she realized what Mrs. D was looking at. But Mrs. D ignored her, merely turning to give Emily a severely judgmental look.

Emily thought she might wither up and die right on the spot.

"Em, that dress doesn't look good, get in there and try on a new one," Hanna said mercifully, hiding a small laugh behind her hand.

Emily quickly turned on her heel, saying nothing, and grabbed a dress at random. It might've been covered in giraffes, but she didn't care. Anything to get out of Mrs. DiLaurentis' sight.

"I'll go get that other size," Mrs. D said in a grumbling tone, exiting the changing area. Emily shut her eyes in embarrassment as she unzipped her dress, pushing it down her body.

"Mrs. D, I saw a perfect set of capris for you too. Great for Cape May," Hanna shouted after her, sounding giddy, her voice receding out of the area as well.

As soon as they were both gone, Alison boldly pushed open Emily's curtain and entered her small changing area.

"That was mortifying, Ali," Emily said in a strained voice, stepping into the new dress while Ali pulled the curtain closed.

"I said not a visible place, didn't I?" Ali teased, leaning against the wall, her eyes brazenly tracking over Emily in only her bra and underwear. Emily watched her in the reflection of the mirror as she pulled the dress up, amazed that she didn't seem embarrassed, not even a little. Emily wished that she could be so impervious.

She glanced back at her reflection, eyeballing the dress. This one was black with simple, plain lines and better cut on her, but her long legs still felt _too_ long. She sighed, looking back at Ali.

"Well, I like your dress," she said, her eyes flitting back over it again. "It looks great on you."

"Sexy, isn't it?" Ali replied with a kittenish expression. Emily had to look away for fear of blushing for the one hundredth time that day.

"Can you zip me up?" she asked quietly instead, positioning the dress to make it easier for Ali.

Ali nodded, stepping forward. She ran her soft fingertips lightly over the upper and lower parts of Emily's uncovered back, then brushed them across her vulnerable neck. It gave Emily goosebumps. She felt like Ali's movements weren't at all necessary to operate a zipper, but she didn't object.

"Honestly, I'd rather be taking clothes off of you, not putting them on," Ali said wryly as she finally pulled the zipper up.

Emily turned to look at her when she was done, the proximity between them nonexistent. Emily glanced down at her lips and, as she did it, Ali moved forward, pressing them firmly against hers. She could taste Ali, then, she was flavored by her white mocha from earlier. Sweet like the chocolate, but bitter like espresso at the same time. Ali tugged on her bottom lip gently with her teeth, pressing her hand against Emily's hip, and pushing her back up against the mirror. Emily could feel it cold against the bare skin the dress had left partially exposed.

"But I guess if you have to wear clothing," Ali said breaking away, her breath hot on Emily's mouth, fingers slowly pushing the bottom of the dress up Emily's legs. "It should be a dress."

"Ali, our parents—my mom—" Emily said, shivering, protesting weakly when she felt Alison grasp the material of her underwear, pulling them down her legs.

"Don't get so worked up, Em" she said mischievously, trailing her lips over Emily's throat. She let Emily's panties sit at the top of her thighs, moving her hand higher under her dress. She pressed her palm flat across Emily's stomach, up and then back down. Emily took a sharp breath as her fingers brushed tauntingly close to where Emily wanted them. "I don't even know what to do with my left hand, anyway."

Emily continued to breathe hard regardless, feeling totally under Alison's control, frozen with desire. She also didn't believe for a second that Ali meant to stop.

"But," she whispered lingeringly. "Now that I have a phone, I can do some research."

"What kind of research?" Emily asked breathlessly.

Without answering, Ali kissed her, a sensuous peck on the lips, before she started moving slowly downwards, maintaining unbroken eye contact with Emily, until she was on her knees. Once Emily realized what was happening, her eyes went wide.

 _Oh, fuck_ , she thought. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._ Why was Alison like this? An angel one second and sex goddess the next? Did she love to torture Emily? They were practically in public!

But try as she might, Emily didn't move, couldn't move, as Alison methodically bunched the dress farther up, past her hips. Ali's tongue darted out, licking Emily's lower abs, and Emily almost moaned. Loudly. Instead, she bit her lip hard and slammed her head back against the mirror in an effort to keep herself quiet. Then, she glanced down again when she felt Ali kissing the exposed flesh of her hip, and watched her tease her way downward, her pupils blown black as they stared back at Emily.

Her descent was interrupted, however, as they both heard a pair of shoes reenter the dressing room area. Ali cocked her head to listen but mercilessly didn't stop licking lower, closer and closer, her fingers digging into Emily's inner thigh, moving her legs wider apart. No one had ever done this to her before, and Emily thought she might explode if Ali's tongue actually made contact with her clit.

"Alison?" Jessica called out. "I have the other size."

Ali pulled back at that, her sexy expression replaced with one of deep dissatisfaction. She stood, adjusting Emily's underwear back into place, and pulling her dress down.

"I guess we'll just have to save that for later," she whispered with an absolutely sinful smile. She kissed Emily's nose then breezed back through the curtains.

"Thanks, mom, let me try it on," Emily heard Ali say calmly through the cloth barrier, like nothing at all had just occurred.

Emily could barely breathe. She could not understand, for the life of her, how Ali could act so relaxed and cool. She touched her stomach through the dress, still able to feel the wetness of Ali's tongue. _God_.

A moment later, after her heart stopped racing, she stepped out of her dressing room to show Hanna her new dress. Hanna was looking at Ali, who was in another outfit, albeit a less striking one. Hanna turned to her whispering.

"Hey, you know how you were sad about not taking Ali to Prom? I may have an idea."

 **So, I lied. I said there would only be one more chapter, but I wanted to break this chapter up, the last scene is pretty long. What is Hanna's idea?! Pray for an Emison kiss in 7x15!  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** AHHHHHHH! I don't even know what to say about the last two episodes. Troian's was fantastic. 7x16 left me speechless. Anyway, this chapter was a bitch to write, let me know what you think!

* * *

Two weeks later, Courtney had graduated as 'Alison', and it was the day of their 18th birthday. But Ali's sister wasn't around and neither was her mother.

The absolute second Courtney had graduated, she'd demanded Mrs. DiLaurentis buy her a flight to Los Angeles, so she could look for an apartment and jump start her acting career. Ali rolled her eyes every single time she thought about it, but, unfortunately, Jessica had agreed to go. She'd apologized profusely to Ali about possibly missing her birthday, and while she promised she would still try to make it home, Ali _knew_ Courtney would make certain that Jessica wouldn't be back in time.

But whatever. Ali wasn't terribly upset. This birthday was already going to be her best yet, no matter what happened. Because she was free. Because she was Alison again. Because she had Emily.

It was only a bonus that her mother had also showered her with plenty of gifts since she'd been home and her father, well, it had been a gift in and of itself that he was constantly away on business. Any time they had come into accidental contact the past few weeks, he had merely glared at her, mumbling inaudibly about money.

" _Did it have to be a $60,000 SUV?!"_ she'd heard him say to no one in particular after she'd dodged him in the hallway.

Apparently decking out his own car with a costly stereo system and buying a completely pointlessly expensive sailboat for their Cape May home was fine, but anything for anyone else in the family was "unnecessary."

Good riddance.

So, that left Ali with Jason and Emily, a pair she was perfectly content to celebrate with. Especially the latter.

She and Emily had finally gone on an assortment of dates, varying from amusement parks to picnics to short road trips to the lake. But where they went and what they did didn't really matter to Ali, she was more interested to learn all about what Emily wanted to study, her swimming routines, her favorite foods, why she picked Stanford. And, in turn, Emily learned about Ali's favorite books, her favorite music, and what she liked to play on piano.

Before she'd left, Mrs. D had even let Emily come over and watch TV with Ali on the couch. Ali had missed out on _so_ many movies and TV shows, and Emily had organized a dozen of the absolute must-sees from the last four years. She gathered several blankets and pillows on the couch so that they could bunker down for the night, and Emily even acted like she was seeing them for the first time, too, gasping at surprises, asking what would happen next. Ali knew it was silly, but it was wonderful, too. Ali was perfectly contented, molded into Emily's side, feeling Emily's hands play in her hair while she laughed loudly at the comedies and pretended not to cry at the dramas.

She couldn't remember ever feeling this way before. She was happy. She was beaming, even now, for no reason at all while she talked to her mother on the phone.

"So, what're you going to do tonight? Did Jason get you a cake?" Jessica asked, still sounding guilty that she wasn't there to do it herself.

"Yeah, though it's in the shape of a football," Ali said snorting, throwing her head back into her pillow. "He seemed to think it was really cool. I only care that it's chocolate."

"Well, that's something, at least," Jessica said dismissively of her brother. "Do you have any big plans, with Emily maybe?"

Ali opened her mouth to speak, still finding it a little weird to talk so openly to her mom about the _girl_ she was dating.

"Yeah, she planned this small party at Spencer's barn," she answered, picking at a nail. "I haven't met the rest of her friends yet, but Jason is going to come, too, in case it's awkward."

"Hm," her mother said, making Ali quirk an eyebrow to herself. "Are you going to come back to the house?"

Ali sighed. When Jessica used _that_ tone, it always meant Alison was already in trouble for something she hadn't even done yet.

"I think it's a sleepover or something," she said back casually.

"Well, I guess I don't have to worry about you getting pregnant," Jessica replied wryly. "But be safe."

Ali grumbled loudly, choosing to ignore the first comment. "It's literally just our next door neighbors, mom. I don't think anything's going to happen in the twelve feet it takes to get over there."

"I know, I know," Jessica acknowledged. "Just text me when you're home. I'm going to be back this weekend, and we can go have dinner again."

"Okay," Ali said, distracted. She'd suddenly heard a peal of laughter, another voice in the background. She wondered if it was her sister.

"I love you, honey," Jessica said. "I'll talk to you later, though, okay?"

"Okay, love you, too," Ali said, ending the call.

She looked uneasily down at her phone, thinking about her twin, wondering how they were celebrating in LA. While she wasn't surprised that Courtney had totally bogarted her birthday, it still made her angry, jealous even. Courtney could've invited Ali, too. They could've both gone to LA. But instead her sister had capitalized on an opportunity to take something away from Ali, a gesture that had become all too familiar in the last few weeks. Ali didn't know exactly _what_ her sister was continually trying to get her back for… but she had a guess.

Any time Courtney had opened up to Ali over the last few weeks, when they would tan on the deck or watch the same terrible TV shows after school, Courtney had seemed calmer with her, not always on the offensive, sometimes even nice. Then Emily would come up in conversation, whether it was her mother asking about her from the kitchen or Ali herself accidentally mentioning her, and Courtney would either shut down, leave the room, or, worse, become "Alison" again.

Ali had overheard this switch happen particularly violently one night while she relaxed on the couch, flipping through channels, just before Courtney and Mrs. DiLaurentis had left for LA. Her mother had asked if Courtney planned on saying goodbye to her friends, it could be months, or even years before she saw them again. Courtney had bristled loudly and shouted that none of her friends mattered any more, she was _done_ with them. She then spun around and pounded up the stairs, Ali could hear the china shaking. She could also feel her sister's icy blue glare all the way until Courtney's bedroom door slammed shut.

It was just more ammunition for Ali's theory. She just _knew_ Courtney was still mad at her about Emily. The "why" was obvious, but the "what to do about it" was not. Courtney would never bring it up, and Ali would never ask her about it. So, they were stuck there; Courtney inflicting acts of passive aggression on Ali, and Ali enduring them in silence.

She sighed, feeling frustrated at the thought of it. She turned over onto her side and opened her photos, searching for a picture of her and Emily by the lake. She found her favorite and stared at it. They looked so happy, the sun glinting off of their irises, their hair shining. Ali remembered how good Emily looked swimming in the water, how her skin felt when Ali clung to her back, running her hands over her broad, strong shoulders.

She wondered if it was too early to ask her to come over. It was only 3 p.m., and the party wasn't supposed to start until 6. But maybe they could take another shower together…

However, just as she was typing out a message, Emily beat her to the punch.

 **Emily to Alison:** Wear that red dress tonight, the one we bought with Hanna. And heels.

 _What?_ Ali thought. Why would Emily want her to wear that? That dress was kind of fancy.

 **Alison to Emily:** Don't you think that's a little dressed up, Em?  
 **Emily to Alison:** No, it's perfect. It's a surprise

Confused but interested, Ali got up from her bed and went to her closet. She still didn't have that many clothes, despite more than a few shopping trips with Hanna, so the dress was easy to find. She laid it out on her bed, staring at it, trying to decide which hair style and make-up to pair with it. She grumbled loudly. If she was going to have to get _that_ kind of ready, she should probably start preparing now.

Two and a half hours later and way too much time spent in her bathroom, her hair was beautifully curled, her makeup relatively light. She was just finishing the final touches when she heard her phone vibrate again.

 **Emily to Alison:** I'm outside, are you ready yet?

Ali smiled, Emily was almost _always_ early. She took her phone, hopping down the stairs barefoot, taking two at a time.

"You're early, Ms. Fields," she said as she whipped open the door.

Emily stood at the threshold, clad in a very attractive black dress, holding a bouquet of deep red roses. Her hair was down, parted in the middle, and impossibly thick and straight. Ali was pretty sure she had never seen a sight more stunning.

"Oh my," Ali said in an over the top southern belle accent as she reached to accept the roses. "Are these for me?"

Emily smiled bashfully, it was cute.

"This _is_ a relaxed sleepover party, right?" Ali asked in her normal voice, giving Emily another once over before she turned to go find a vase.

"Sure," Emily replied nonchalantly, following Ali into the kitchen.

Ali shot her a skeptical look, reaching into one of the cabinets. She noticed only one of Emily's hands was on the countertop, the other holding something behind her back.

"Uh huh," Ali said, finding a tall vase and placing it on the counter. "Because I haven't seen you in a dress since that changing room."

Emily merely continued to smile, saying nothing. Ali peered at her through the rose petals as she arranged them carefully within the vase.

"Even though you _know_ how hard it is for me to undo buttons," she added, smiling flirtatiously.

She was referring to the first time she'd teased Emily with the idea of going down on her, which had been deliciously fun. She'd taken it a step further since then and had actually gone through with it. _That_ had been even more fun.

Emily blushed, seeming to sense her thoughts, looking down at her feet. Ali _loved_ when Emily blushed. She lived for it.

"What's in your hand?" she asked coyly when she finished with the roses.

Ali rounded the kitchen island and stood in front of her, slipping her body between Emily and the counter. She slid her arms around her waist and inclined her head towards Emily's, brushing their noses together. She also snaked her hand around Emily's wrist, non-subtly trying to feel for whatever Emily was holding.

Emily resisted her attempt, giggling slightly. Her empty hand pushed Ali's hips back against the island, while the other dipped and dived away from Ali's searching fingers.

"Ali," she scolded as the blonde continued to try to get at her secret. When that did not deter her, Emily finally changed the item into the other hand and hid it behind Ali's back on the counter, pinning her so that she couldn't turn around.

"Why do you make it so hard to surprise you?" Emily asked, looking harassed.

"I hate surprises," Ali replied simply, arching her back against the counter, into Emily so that their hips were flush. If Emily was going to tease her, she was going to tease Emily.

"You'll like this one," Emily said, a little distracted, looking down into Ali's cleavage. Ali smirked.

"I forgot you liked this dress," she whispered, leaning in to slowly plant kisses across Emily's neck.

"No, you didn't," Emily said into her ear before turning her face and kissing Ali's lips softly. Ali smiled, moving her mouth in sync with Emily's. She was right, Ali hadn't forgotten.

They kissed and kissed, it always felt like the first time to Ali. Even though it had to be the hundredth time. Emily just had a way of exploring her body, her mouth so gently, so sensuously. They kissed until Ali felt dizzy, hot, until Emily put down whatever she was holding, and moved both hands to Ali's hips. She lifted her up onto the counter and stepped between her legs. While this was not a new position (there were perks to Ali's mother being out of town), it was definitely a favorite.

Emily pressed her hands over the top of Ali's thighs, pushing the dress farther up her legs, causing Ali to shudder slightly. All the while kissing Emily, melting into her. When Emily pulled away, her brown eyes locked onto her's, their foreheads rested against each other. Ali's hand was in Emily's hair, and she flexed her fingers as she felt Emily's thumb stroking her inner thigh.

"What's the surprise?" Ali asked huskily, knowing that if this continued, she would completely forget there even was one.

Emily looked away for a moment, taking a huge breath, like she was about to jump off a thirty foot diving board. She reached back behind Ali to pick up the mysterious object and drew her hand out to show her.

"What's this for?" Ali probed curiously, looking at what she could only guess was a… corsage?

She touched the petals. It was pretty, the band was white and simple, and the flowers looked exactly like the red roses Emily had just given her.

"Will you go to prom with me?" Emily asked, her voice sounding a little edged, nervous.

"What?" Ali asked with a puzzled smile. "Your prom already happened."

It was a sad fact that Ali knew for certain. And how? Because it had happened since Ali had been home, and Courtney had insisted to their parents that she be the one to go to prom, not Alison. She'd complained loudly that she'd been waiting all year for it, though Emily had told Ali that Courtney had been bitching about prom for months.

" _It would mean everything to me,"_ Courtney had emotionally pleaded to Mrs. DiLaurentis.

Ali had rolled her eyes. Hard. It was a bold faced lie, and she was about to say as much when Courtney had turned to her.

" _Ali doesn't even care about prom. There's no reason she'd want to go. She doesn't know anyone, and you couldn't possibly have anyone you'd want to take, right Ali?"_

Courtney had said it casually, kindly even, but she'd also made sure to say it within hearing range of their father, who looked up from the dining room table and studied Ali closely. He still didn't know about her and Emily. Even Courtney wasn't mean enough to tell him. But she _was_ , however, mean enough to torture Ali about it in front of him. Under his scrutiny, Ali had no choice but to shake her head 'no.' And her mother, who'd been listening on, had no choice but to let Courtney go instead.

Courtney's victory had put her in high spirits. Getting ready, she was all flashing white smiles and dimpled laughs. And when she'd come home later that night, she had lorded over Ali that she had been picked for Prom Queen, and that Emily had gone separately and without a date.

" _If only_ you _could've been there, sis. Poor Emily, didn't even bother to dance to one song."_

Her words still made Alison prickle with irritation. But she tried to ignore it, it was just another in a string of Courtney's petty and retaliatory torments.

"I know, but—" Emily tried to explain, sounding flustered, bringing Ali back to the present. "Just put it on, you'll see."

Emily then reached for Ali's casted arm and slowly tied the corsage snugly around it. Ali couldn't help but smile at how comical it looked on her large, bothersome cast.

"It does make the cast prettier," Ali joked softly when she was finished.

But before Emily could respond, a loud car horn erupted from the driveway, causing them to both look in the direction of the sound.

"Is someone else here?" Ali asked with an intrigued half smile.

"Come on, let's go outside," Emily said, avoiding the question. She picked Ali up off of the counter and set her back down on the ground. "Put your heels on."

"Mmm," Ali hummed, moving past her, back to the front door. "I like it when you're so bossy."

Ali reached down to put her heels on, giving Emily another eyeful of her cleavage, and Emily suddenly looked regretful that they weren't staying in. But then, she shook her head, took Ali's hand, and opened the door for her.

When she led her down the front porch stairs, Ali got a partial answer for what Emily had in mind. There was a long, black limo idling in the driveway. Hanna was standing up, through the sunroof, her hand sitting in her palm in a mocking way, like she'd been waiting forever for them.

"I'm glad you two could put some clothes on and join us," she said with a smirk.

Emily gave Hanna an irritated, tight-lipped smile before turning to Ali, pausing at the bottom of the steps.

"So, I know you missed my prom. But I thought it would be fun to celebrate anyway. For your birthday," she explained, looking excited. "We can ride this limo around town for a little while, then we're going to have dinner at Spencer's barn. All of the girls are here, too. Is that okay?"

Ali's eyes were still wide as she looked at the limo, she was completely surprised. She hadn't been lying when she said she hated surprises, she was a bit of a control freak, but this surprise was a good one. A great one.

She turned to Emily, having just barely registered her words. She thought it was so cute, unbelievably almost, that Emily was asking if this was 'okay.' This was already way beyond what she expected for her birthday, who would possibly be upset?

"Yes, Emily," she said with a smile. "It's more than okay."

Emily smiled back in return before she turned away towards the car, but Ali stopped her. She took Emily's chin and angled her face back towards hers. She then guided the brunette's mouth in for a simple kiss.

Ali reveled in the softness of her lips, the warmth of her cheek against her fingers. This was one of those several times over the last few weeks, even the last few months, where Ali just didn't know what to do with Emily's… love? She never expected a limo in her driveway or a corsage. She never expected a surprise. She never even expected a birthday at all. She expected barred windows, apathetic doctors, listless patients, and if she was lucky, a bright summer day to look out at through her window. She just didn't know why this girl liked her when she'd never thought anyone would like her, actually _like_ her. And certainly not someone as wonderful as Emily. Sometimes it made her feel undeserving, like an imposter, a fraud.

When Ali pulled away, she still held Emily's face close. She wanted to tell her something. Something she'd been wanting to say for a while but hadn't been able to yet. She wanted to tell Emily that she loved her. She even opened her mouth to say it, but the words didn't come out.

She felt scared, all of a sudden, awfully vulnerable. The memory of the last time she'd tried to tell Emily sprang into her mind.

" _No,"_ Emily had said, so harshly. _"Don't say that. You don't get to."_

She swallowed. She didn't want to be rejected again. Even if she didn't think Emily would. But Emily also hadn't said it yet either.

"Thank you," Ali said instead, closing her mouth, feeling a little dumb. Emily looked at her searchingly, like she was trying to understand what Ali was thinking.

"Look, we're paying for this limo by the hour, so…" Hanna said, rudely interrupting.

Emily rolled her eyes, scowling at the other blonde. "We're coming, Han, jeez."

Emily looked at Ali apologetically before taking her hand again and moving towards the limo door. Ali tried to repress the feelings of failure as the door flew open, tried to school her face back into excitement as Emily helped her inside.

When she climbed in, it took Ali's eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness, the limo was only dimly lit inside. The seats were nice, leather, luxurious. Ali had actually never been in a limo, there had never been a reason before. It was a lot bigger than she expected, but it seemed to be perfectly sized for the several people she saw seated around her. She situated herself and moved to accommodate Emily when she came in after her.

"Hi everyone," Emily greeted them all, motioning to Ali. "This is Alison."

Ali felt a little nervous as she waved at the unfamiliar faces, not quite sure what she should do. Outside, she'd had no idea there were so many people waiting… and potentially watching. She wondered vaguely if they saw her kiss Emily.

"This is Aria," Emily said, motioning to a dark haired girl on Ali's left.

"Hi," Ali said, taking in her slightly fashion-forward dress, her dark lids, her large eyes. Then, her gaze fell on who was sitting next to her.

"Jason!" Ali said excitedly. She leaned forward, across Aria's lap, and pinched him just above the knee. He jerked away, but Ali noticed his trimmed beard, his slicked blonde hair. He was in a perfectly tailored suit, Ali didn't think she'd _ever_ seen him in one.

"You look so nice, I had no idea you could be such a gentleman underneath all that grime."

"Oh, thanks Ali," he said sarcastically, shifting a little in his seat when he thought Ali might try to pinch him again. She only smiled mischievously, her eyes darting between him and Aria.

"You've met Hanna and Caleb," Emily continued, moving around the limo.

"Unfortunately," Ali said, turning her head to glare at Hanna, who was situated across from her. Ali was still a little peeved that Hanna had ruined her moment outside of the limo (though she hadn't, really, Ali had done that all on her own.) But Hanna only laughed, reaching for an unopened bottle of champagne.

"This was all my idea, by the way," Hanna said. "So, you're welcome."

"So modest," Caleb retorted.

"And this is Spencer," Emily continued, undeterred, ignoring their banter. "Your neighbor, who you probably remember."

"Hi," Ali said, shifting her annoyed gaze off of Hanna.

She felt the most awkward, by far, meeting Spencer, knowing that they were half siblings. She wondered if Spencer knew. If Courtney had told her. Spencer merely smiled back, offering up no indication whether she did or didn't know.

"And her date Toby," Emily finished.

Toby sat closely to Spencer, his hand on hers. Ali thought she might've remembered him moving to Rosewood, right before she went to Radley. But she couldn't be sure.

"Nice to meet you both," Ali said lightly, trying to smile.

And then it was quiet. An uncomfortable kind of silence. Like no one know what to say to her. And, honestly, she didn't know what to say to them either. These were Courtney's best friends after all. The quartet that she'd met in their yard _that_ day. In a way, they were the reason Ali had been successfully imprisoned. But they were also the reason she'd met Emily.

"Let's get this champagne opened," Hanna said suddenly, interjecting in an effort to break the silence. Ali was grateful for it.

Hanna pulled the top off the bottle in a loud pop. She was careful not to let the champagne spill as she began filling flutes, the glass clinking as everyone passed them around.

When they were done, Hanna leaned forward, raising her glass.

"To prom!" she said, holding her glass high. "Again!"

"To prom again!" they all said after her, Emily laughing lightly as she looked at Ali. Ali smiled, making sure she toasted everyone, before throwing back the entire glass of champagne.

* * *

Though it had started out a little awkward, driving around Rosewood was actually phenomenally more fun than Ali would've guessed. There weren't that many streets to joy ride, but with Hanna pulling Ali through the sun roof and shouting, "Alison DiLaurentis is 18, mother fuckers!" at total strangers, it was a lot more entertaining.

The champagne also helped a lot, too. Ali was feeling warm and buzzed and considerably less nervous about what impression she might be leaving on the others. Aria, Spencer, and Toby seemed to be feeling the effects, too, talking and joking more. And then, somehow, it had been an hour, two bottles of champagne, and twenty dance songs. Ali was having so much fun, she'd hardly noticed the time pass, squeezing Emily's hand and staring into her chocolate brown eyes as the driver routed them back towards Spencer's barn. When they were parked, everyone began piling out.

"I can't wait for you guys to try my herb chicken," Spencer said enthusiastically, rifling through her bag for her keys. Ali smirked, having already realized that Spencer could be a nerd in the oddest of ways. "I've been wanting to make it, but my dad doesn't like rosemary."

"Honestly, Spence, I only care about the cake," Hanna said frankly, her heels clicking loudly on the driveway pavement.

"You mean my football cake?" Ali fired a mocking glance at Jason, who was lingering by the limo to help Aria out.

"Hey, it's a three layer chocolate cake _and_ a football, what more could you ask for?" he shot defensively back at her.

Ali only looked at Emily, shaking her head. Emily smiled back indulgently, reaching out to take her hand as they followed Spencer and Toby toward the barn. Ali intertwined their fingers, thinking she would never tire of how Emily's hand felt in hers.

When they entered the barn, Ali was surprised to find it had been methodically cleaned, each element meticulously placed. It was significantly different than when Ali had broken in so many nights ago, when she'd seen Ian's stupid sleeping form, when she'd stolen that bottle of whiskey. His clothes had been everywhere, dirty dishes all over the surfaces and floors. But Spencer had cleaned all of that up, not a trace of Ian remained.

"I really like these," Ali said, crossing the room to the table, and touching one of the plates. Spencer had set out beautiful place mats and matching silverware. There were a few fragrant candles as well.

"And I like these string lights you put up, too," she added absently, looking up. They were hung over the dining room table, glowing softly, giving the barn a very romantic ambience. They were beautiful.

Spencer looked at her with a suspicious eye, glancing up at the lights and then back at her. "Have you been in here before?"

"I—" Ali stuttered for a moment, glancing at Emily with wide eyes. Did Spencer pick up on her familiarity with the space? "I figured you didn't leave them up year around, that's all."

In her periphery, Ali could see Emily look at her admonishingly, but she ignored it. Spencer nodded, still somewhat skeptical, but turned to check on her chicken in the oven.

"Nice one," Emily whispered in Ali's ear sarcastically, moving past her to take her place at the table. Ali only smirked at her.

It was only a few more minutes before Spencer and Hanna were placing large bowls of green beans, mushrooms, and asparagus on the table. Ali poured everyone else another glass of wine but paused indecisively when she got to Jason.

"It's okay, Ali," Aria said, pushing back from the table. "I had Spencer brew some tea for Jason, I'll get it."

As Aria made her way into the kitchen, Ali arched an eyebrow at Jason.

"Made you some tea, did she?" she said under her breath, so only he could hear her.

Jason responded with a "leave me alone" type of look, and Ali shook her head playfully, heading back towards her chair next to Emily.

When she sat back down, everything was set and everyone was seated. Spencer made some sort of sweeping directive motion, indicating that everyone could start eating, and they all began loading their plates sky high with food.

Between the comments on how delicious the food was and what year the wine was made, the good-natured joking and relaxed vibe from the limo had faded again, another awkward silence taking its place. Ali weirdly wanted to ask what they had done for their actual prom, if it had been like this, if they'd had a limo and dinner and then danced. But she didn't want to hear about her sister or about Emily going alone. So, she ate quietly, hooking her ankle in Emily's under the table, catching her eye. Emily glanced back at her, smiling comfortingly.

"So, you guys are together," Hanna stated abruptly, causing both Emily and Alison to look up at her.

"Blunt much, Hanna?" Aria said, taking a delicate bite.

"Just making conversation," Hanna defended, her fork clattering loudly on her plate.

"Yes, Hanna," Emily confirmed with a side eye, attempting to sound, to Alison at least, polite. "We're together."

"I hope you don't mind if I ask," Hanna started with a look of impish curiosity.

"Here we go," Spencer said under her breath, sipping her wine.

"But who does the guy things?" Hanna finished, ignoring her friend.

"And there it is," Spencer said sharing a knowing glance with Aria who snorted, looking down into her water glass.

Ali only looked calmly back at Hanna, charmed by her line of questioning.

"Like what?" Ali asked with a smile.

"I don't know, like," Hanna said, looking up towards the ceiling. "Who takes out the trash? Who kills the bugs?"

"Who kills the bugs, Hanna?" Emily asked mockingly. "That's not just a guy or a girl thing."

"Sure, it is," Hanna argued.

Spencer laughed. "It's not that simple."

"Like, what kind of bugs?" Emily continued, undeterred. "It's obviously _not_ hard to kill spiders and wasps and stuff."

Emily looked at Ali for validation, but Ali merely raised her eyebrows back at Emily. She would never touch a fucking wasp.

"Spoken like a true bug killer," Hanna said to Emily, like somehow her point had been proven.

"Oh, please," Spencer said. "Toby couldn't kill a spider if his life depended on it."

"Hey," he said defensively, looking up from his food. "I saw that Arachnophobia movie when I was really young."

Spencer shrugged. "That doesn't mean he's the girl in _our_ relationship."

"I don't know, Toby," Caleb teased him. "Sounds pretty girly. I kill the bugs for Hanna."

Toby only rolled his eyes amiably.

"We need more data points," Spencer added.

"She's a walking excel sheet, in case you didn't know," Caleb said to Ali, pointing his fork at Spencer.

"Okay, okay, what about…" Hanna continued, thinking hard. "Who pays for dates?"

Ali pressed her tongue against her cheek, looking down at her plate, pretending like she was about to take a bite. Emily stared at Hanna, slightly taken aback.

"That doesn't mean anything," she said, a little flustered.

Hanna laughed and so did Aria. "You're the guy, Em, it's okay."

"I am _not_ the guy," Emily protested loudly. "This is stupid."

"No, this is kind of a fun game," Aria chimed in. "Who cooks?"

"I do," Ali said quickly. "Emily is terrible in the kitchen."

"Peanut butter on a spoon is not cooking, Ali," Emily berated.

"Well, neither are burned eggs, Em," Ali mock gasped at her, poking her in the thigh under the table. "You almost burned my kitchen down." Ali could still smell the acrid smoke.

"She's right, Em, you're an awful cook," Spencer added, looking at Emily condemningly. "Do you even know what rosemary is?"

Emily looked irately at her.

"Of course I know what it is," she said arrogantly. "It's, like, a vine or something."

Spencer laughed. "It's an herb."

"Same thing," Emily argued.

"No, it isn't!" Spencer shouted, dropping her fork.

"Ali cooks, you pay for dates, you kill the bugs," Aria listed off on her fingers, jokingly lifting an eyebrow at Emily. "More and more proof you're the guy."

Emily gaped at her, her mouth working wildly to come up with a comeback.

"How about this?" Caleb added before Emily could balk at Aria's statement. "Who drives?"

Emily rolled her eyes again.

"That's not fair, her wrist is broken."

"So many excuses, Emily," Spencer said, joining in on the teasing.

"You too?" Emily replied, aghast, looking at Spencer like she'd just stabbed her in the back with her dinner knife. Ali merely laughed at the chaos, squeezing the top of Emily's knee under the table.

"Wait, wait, wait, I've got the final decider," Hanna said, swallowing a bite of asparagus, looking like she'd come up with a truly genius question. Everyone turned to look at her.

"Who's the top?"

"Hanna," Caleb reproved.

"The top?" Aria asked with a laugh.

"In bed," Hanna clarified, though no one needed it.

Ali laughed, too, hazarding a curious glance at Emily. She looked mortified again, like she had in the changing room, refusing to make eye contact with Hanna. Ali felt like the answer to this question was relatively obviously. But she wasn't about to volunteer that information to a table full of people she'd just met.

"Well?" Hanna continued, undaunted. "We all want to know."

"Do we?" Aria asked with a tilt of her head.

"I mean, I'm sitting right here at the table," Jason interjected. "I'd prefer not to know who is or isn't topping my sister."

Hanna laughed raucously, seeming to have forgotten he was there.

"Sorry," she said, though the room was still ringing with her laughter.

"I think you've had a little too much," Caleb commented, taking her wine glass away.

"No," she whined, reaching for it.

Spencer rolled her eyes and stood from her seat. She began clearing the plates and silverware from the table, and Ali couldn't help but watch her with curiosity. The others were talking and joking with Hanna still, so Ali seized the opportunity to talk to Spencer alone, grabbing a few dishes herself and joining Spencer at the sink.

Ali thoroughly washed each glass and plate, setting each item carefully in the dish washer when she was done. Spencer worked close by her, scrubbing the pans and pots. She was practically rubbing elbows with her sibling, a girl she'd never looked twice at despite the fact they were neighbors, a sister she'd never even known she had. It was weird, surreal even.

Ali glanced at her while they worked, her eyes flying over Spencer's profile quickly. They had the same nose. Not the sharp, large nose of her father, of Kenneth, but Peter's perfectly sized nose, almost button-like on Spencer and Ali. Their chins, too, were similar, cleft and rounded. Spencer even had dimples, too, though they were less pronounced than Ali's. Did Spencer know they were related? Did she ever guess?

"Hey," Ali said quietly, unable to stop herself, pausing with a plate in her hand. "Do you want to maybe get lunch sometime? Just the two of us?"

Spencer looked up, a surprised and slightly apprehensive expression on her face. But then she looked away, working the grime off of her baking dish, smiling slightly.

"That'd be great," she said simply. Ali felt a little disappointed. But Spencer lifted her brush from the pan, looking at her again.

"You know, I'm really happy you could come," she said sincerely, her brown eyes focused on Ali. "I don't know if Emily told you, but Courtney's been… well, really distant to all of us."

Ali nodded, briefly looking away at the mention of her sister.

"Like we all knew she kept secrets," Spencer continued with a dark look, gazing briefly at Ali's eyes, her hair, her jaw. "Just not a whole person as a secret."

"She's good at secrets," Ali stated, matter of fact, placing the plate she'd been holding in the drying tray. "I guess we both are."

But Ali didn't move to grab another plate, looking sadly down and away. She was thinking about how it was all such a waste, what she and Courtney had done to each other. They could've grown up happy, maybe not with a perfectly loving friendship, but with a lot more than they had now. And they could've even had two more siblings in Melissa and Spencer. But they'd ruined it for each other, ruined everything almost. They'd lost so much time, so many years, and for what?

"Well, at least we have each other now, right?" Spencer said, glancing at Ali timidly, as if she might be reading her thoughts.

Ali smiled back at her. Maybe she did know they were related. And maybe she was right. If nothing else, Spencer and Ali could both be siblings Courtney isolated and tortured. That was better than nothing, right?

Ali was about to suggest this, but she felt a hand slide over her shoulder and turned to see Hanna who huddled her head between the two of them. Ali could smell the wine on her breath.

"Alright, kids, it's time take some terrible prom photos and slow dance. Are you ready?"

"Prom photos?" Ali asked with confusion.

"Duh," she said, pulling Ali's shoulder and forcing her over to the wall behind the dining table. Spencer smirked at her and continued washing the rest of the dishes.

Emily was already waiting for her, looking sheepish. Hanna handed Aria an expensive looking camera.

"Just relax," Aria said, smiling, lifting the lens up to her face.

They took a few normal, cute photos, before Hanna jumped in, eager to be involved and obnoxious.

"Em, why don't you stand behind Ali?" she suggested. "And put your arms around her waist?"

Emily glared at her slightly. "Like the guy?"

"You said it, not me," Hanna snickered, shrugging.

Emily glowered at her but followed her directions nonetheless, standing behind Ali and wrapping her arms around her. Hanna took the camera from Aria, snapping a few photos, cackling madly.

"Hand it over, Hanna, I have to see this," Ali said, pulling away from Emily to look at the camera viewfinder.

She laughed incredibly hard. In the photo, Emily's smile was pained and uncomfortable, and Ali looked tiny and overly ecstatic in her arms. It was one of the most awful photos she'd seen of the two of them. She wanted to frame it and keep it forever.

"Please send me this," she begged.

"Are we done?" Emily asked agonizingly.

"Oh yeah, we're done," Hanna said, still laughing.

"Slow dance time!" Spencer shouted from behind them, dimming the lights. Ali could hear an old, mid-century record switch on from somewhere in the back of the barn.

"Grab the one you love!" Hanna instructed loudly, as if she were the announcer at some sort of skating rink during the couples skate song.

Ali turned towards Emily, breathing out a sigh. She took Emily's hand, sliding her casted arm up over Emily's shoulder. Emily pulled Ali close by the waist, Ali liked how her fingers felt through the fabric of her dress.

As they danced, Ali didn't really care that they were still in the dining room, that the others were around. And, after a moment of staring into Emily's eyes, Ali began to feel that feeling again. That awkward and scary desire to tell Emily she loved her.

"This is really nice, Emily," she said, again avoiding it. "I can't believe you did all this."

"I'm glad you like it," Emily said shyly in return.

Then Emily twirled her, making Ali giggle. When she pulled Ali close again, they stood nearer than before, she could feeling Emily's breath as her chest heaved up and down.

"It's really nice for all of us, too, you know," Emily added quietly. "We didn't really have a prom like we always wanted. We must've talked about getting a limo and having dinner and taking pictures for two years."

"You didn't do that?" Ali asked tentatively, swaying with Emily from side to side, still not sure if she wanted to know. They had never talked about prom after it happened. Emily must've known Ali was disappointed, Emily must've been disappointed herself.

Emily sighed deeply.

"Courtney won't answer any of our calls," she admitted. "We didn't really know what to do without her, I guess. So, we all just did our own separate thing."

"That sucks," Ali replied, not trusting herself to say much more on the subject.

"Yeah," Emily said, looking sadly back at her. But then smiled, pushing a strand of Ali's hard behind her ear. "But we get to do it now, at least. You're doing us a favor, really."

Ali shook her head, laughing lightly. Her sweet Emily, always so kind and generous.

"So typical of you, Em," she said with her half smile.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked curiously, inclining her head towards Ali's.

"To take something great you've done and to try to make it about others," she said intertwining their fingers. "You're amazing."

Emily's cheeks turned slightly pink at the compliment, making her look all the more beautiful to Ali.

"Another data point, Spencer," Hanna called out somewhere next to them. Ali turned to see her motioning at the way Emily's hand was around Ali's waist, and Ali's on her shoulder. Spencer nodded in agreement.

Emily shot both best friends an angry look, but Ali only laughed, leaning in to whisper to her.

"Ignore her, Em," she whispered softly, seductively, letting her breath hit Emily's ear. "You can be the guy, but we both know who the top is."

She pulled back to gauge her reaction, watching Emily's cheeks flush, loving every second of it.

"Come on," she said, dragging Emily by the hand towards the back door. Hanna wolf-whistled, but Ali ignored her.

She pulled Emily outside, shutting the door. The absolute second she heard the lock click, she pressed her lips firmly against the brunette's, moving her hand up into her hair. Emily immediately reciprocated, moving her hands back around and over Ali's waist.

"I think we needed a little privacy," she said laughing slightly as she pulled back from Emily's lips.

Emily nodded, causing a shaft of light to break through the shadows and bathe her face in a soft, white glow. Ali looked up, noticing how bright the moon and stars were.

"Look," she said, pointing it out to Emily. "The stars are out."

Emily's eyes lingered on Ali for a moment longer, but then she followed her gaze upward, both of their eyes drifting over the night sky. Emily rubbed a hand over Ali's back while Ali's eyes wandered, she could hear the grasshoppers and crickets and owls, but otherwise it was quiet. And perfect.

Then, as her gaze shifted over the trees and back towards the barn, Ali spotted a ladder leaning against the wall, leading up to the roof.

"Hey, do you think we can get up there?" she said eagerly, pulling away from Emily.

"Ali," Emily lightly protested as she realized what Ali was doing. "You're in a really nice dress, you'll get it dirty."

"So?" Ali countered, throwing a saucy grin back at Emily. "I can take it off if that's what you're worried about."

She turned back to the ladder and put her foot on the first rung, but she felt Emily's hand close around her upper arm.

"Your wrist is broken," Emily implored pleadingly.

"I'll be careful, I promise," Ali assured her softly. Emily removed her hand with a sigh, still watching Ali anxiously. Ali climbed up the ladder, careful not to apply any pressure on her right hand. She turned to check on Emily only to catch the brunette staring intently at her ass, at the visible backs of her thighs.

"Good view?" she asked with a snigger. Emily only looked away smiling, slightly embarrassed.

"Be careful please," she stated again. "I'll have to catch that view if it falls."

"You have no faith in me, Em," Ali said as she reached the top, safe and sound. She sat down on the flat roof, dangling her feet happily over the edge.

"You really love rooftops, don't you?" Emily chided, still standing at the bottom of the ladder, looking up at the blonde. "First the school, then Radley, now this?"

"Obviously," Ali replied, patting the spot next to her. "Now get up here, killer."

Emily looked harassed but began climbing the ladder anyway. Once she reached the top, she cautiously sat down next to Ali, and they both looked out over Spencer's yard, over the DiLaurentis house, and back beyond the forest behind the two properties.

"See?" Ali teased, turning back to Emily. "Much better than being on the ground, right?"

"Yes," Emily said with a sweet smile. "But only because you're up here, Ali."

Ali felt her lips turn up slightly, and she had to resist the urge to kiss Emily. Emily acted like such a watchful German Shepard around her. She seemed to hate being too far away, and she was always so protective. It reminded Ali of how she would leave soon, how they might potentially be separated.

She took a deep breath.

"Would you—would you care if came to California, too?" Ali said in a rush. "If I went to a community college by Stanford?"

Ali averted her eyes, anxious about Emily's reaction. She had been avoiding having this conversation over the last few weeks. She was scared that Emily would think it was weird, stalker-y, but Ali felt like it was finally time to speak up. After all, she'd already applied and gotten in. It was going to be awkward if she _didn't_ tell Emily and just showed up in California in August.

But when she looked back up at her, Emily's face had broken out into a wide smile.

"That would be great, Ali," she said moving forward to hug her tightly. Ali hugged her back, relieved. She inhaled, taking in the scent of Emily's hair and closing her eyes.

"I would love to have you there," Emily said softly into her hair.

"We should take a road trip, too," Ali suggested pulling back, running her thumb over Emily's chin. "I want to see the Grand Canyon with you."

Emily pushed her fingers up both sides of Ali's face and held her cheeks in her hands.

"And, by then, I can drive," Ali added jokingly. "If that'll make you feel like less of a guy."

But Emily didn't laugh, only stared, mesmerized, lost in Ali's eyes.

"I love you," she said.

Ali hadn't heard her at first, still amused by her own joke. But then she played back Emily's words, those three words, in her mind and stopped breathing. Or took in a huge breath. She wasn't quite sure which.

"I've known for a while," Emily continued, her voice sounding calm. "I just—didn't know when or how to tell you."

Ali could only smile at that.

"Me too," she said. "I mean—I love you, too."

God, why did she have to be so awkward about it?

But Emily only smiled bigger, if that was possible, and then closed the gap between them. They kissed in the light summer night breeze, sitting happily on top of the barn, but feeling happily on top of the world.

 **Thank you all for going on this journey with me! So, this fic won't technically be complete until I post the Epilogue. Which I want to release when we finally get the Sara Shepard fanfic after PLL is over. I'LL BUY IT 4 TIMES. But that'll be about a month from now! When PLL is over and we're all devastated.  
**

 **Please let me know what you thought! I'm open to any and all suggestions. Feel free to PM me as well. Time to work on College Break…**


	17. Epilogue

**A/N:** Hi! I'm posting this early because we will have such a feast on Tuesday. This chapter is a bit different than the others. It has a few flashback sequences, but the present is during a summer trip to Cape May. Also, I wasn't planning to do the road trip after all, but one of the guest reviewers asked nicely for that and a sex scene, so wish granted. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Flashback.**

Emily is sprawled on her back in Ali's grey blue Mercedes, her fingernails drag roughly along the cloth lining of the laid down seats. Packed bags and blankets and pillows nudge the side of her head, but she's not paying attention to her overall comfort level right now.

"Ali, please," she whines, her voice raspy and hoarse.

She tangles her hands into the thick blonde tendrils of Ali's hair and pulls, forcing the blonde's eyes up to meet hers. There is a flash of blue, blue like the ocean on a stormy day, and Ali is looking at her, cheeks pink, lips red. She regards Emily with that same show stopping, arresting gaze that Emily has come to love. Or maybe has always loved.

Alison quirks her features in an innocent, 'what is it?' type of expression. As if Emily has just interrupted a favorite television show, and she'd like to get back to it.

"Stop teasing me," she tells her, but Ali only smiles softly, wickedly, dipping her tongue out and dragging it down Emily's stomach, blatantly ignoring the request.

Emily leans her head back again with a grumbling huff. She doesn't know why she bothers telling Ali anything. At this point, she knows full well that Alison does whatever she wants, that she won't stop sexually frustrating Emily until she feels like it. Like a cat with a mouse. Not that Emily minds too much, it's just that, this time, she feels like they need to be quick. They're practically in public.

They're parked at Dead Horse State Park in Utah overlooking one of the most beautiful sights Emily has ever seen. Which is saying something since Emily has seen a lot lately. Their road trip across the country, from Pennsylvania to California, has provided hundreds of gorgeous views. She's seen mountains and hills and rivers and lakes, but this one is still one of the best. It's sunset, and the orange light is shafting over the jutting rocks, spilling over the brown and red cliff face below. The clouds are puffy, thick, and pink, and the air is dry, cool, and perfect. It's a 360 degree view.

Emily can still see the vibrant colors as her eyes flutter back open, she can see them through the rear window as she arches her back upwards, crying out when she feels Ali suck hard at the sensitive, exposed skin of her inner thigh. A mark, a punishment, she thinks, for asking Ali to stop.

"Oh, did that hurt, babe?" Ali coos, but Emily can see the mischievous taunt in her eyes. It did hurt, Emily wants to say, in the best way. But she doesn't, can't say anything as Ali soothes the mark with her mouth.

They hadn't started out this way, with Emily's jeans halfway down her calves, Ali between them. They'd stopped along a scenic byway of the park and reversed into a spot. They'd opened Ali's tailgate and sat in the back, side by side, hand in hand, taking in the view.

" _It's so beautiful,"_ Ali had said, mesmerized.

" _Not as beautiful as you,"_ Emily had replied, looking at Alison rather than the beautiful surrounding landscape.

Then, Ali was looking back at her, an intensity to her gaze. Then, Ali was kissing her, firmly and aggressively, a hand pressed into Emily's hair. Then Ali was in her lap, pressing her other hand against Emily's chest and pushing her backwards into the car.

Now Emily is in an undeniably compromising position, and she's helpless to stop it. Ali's tongue feels moist and hot and sinful. She's pulling Emily's thigh up over her shoulder, pressing her hands under Emily's shirt over the smooth and flat expanse of her stomach. And when Emily glances back down, her nails pressing behind the blonde's ear, Ali's still watching her, and she can discernibly feel herself become that much wetter.

"Ali," she begs again, though she knows it's probably fruitless.

Ali looks down, and Emily thinks she can feel her smile against her skin before her tongue drags up over the fabric of her underwear. Emily's sure Ali can taste and feel and smell all that she's doing to her.

"Mmm," Emily can't stop herself from humming, moaning. She wants to feel that tongue directly on her. She wanted to feel more pressure. She needs it.

"Okay, Em," Ali said, relenting, pulling back just slightly. Emily's so sensitive, she can feel her breath tantalizingly. She tries not to jerk towards her girlfriend's mouth.

"I'll stop teasing you," she continues, her fingers delicately moving Emily's underwear to the side. Emily can feel the beat of Ali's words even stronger now, it's crippling. "Tell me you love me."

She says it so angelically, so guilelessly, that it's almost hard to believe that she's holding oral sex for ransom just for Emily to say those three simple words.

"I love you," Emily breathes out in compliance, the easiest decision of her life.

Ali licks her once. Emily throws her head back in another groan.

"Say it again," Ali growls, her free hand working into the muscles of Emily's ass roughly, possessively.

"I love you," Emily says again, her eyes squeezed shut.

Her reward is a full, deep kiss from Ali, all lips and tongue. Emily's mouth falls open in a giant intake of breath, her hips bucking upward.

"Say it again," Ali repeats once more.

"I lov—ugh, oh God," Emily starts, but Ali doesn't wait.

* * *

 **Current day.**

Emily opened her eyes, not aware that she'd dozed off. The noises of the plane were deafening in her ears, and she was disoriented at first, not quite sure where she was. She stretched slightly, remembering that she and Ali had picked seats farther back, so that they could sit together. But unfortunately they were right by the engines.

Emily sighed, she hated almost everything about flying. The crowds. The close proximity to strangers. The boredom. The smells. She found herself constantly uncomfortable. She dug her phone out of her jeans, checking the time, sending a prayer out into the nether that they were almost there.

 _Ugh_ , she thought. They were only about half way to Pennsylvania.

She shivered thinking about it. The flight from San Francisco to Philadelphia was brutal. It was six hours in the air plus the three hour east coast time change. And then, on top of that, they would have a two hour drive out to Cape May. They would basically lose an entire day, and Emily wasn't too pleased about it.

She leaned into Ali, looking down at her. Her head rested comfortably on Emily's shoulder, she was breathing evenly, holding Emily's hand loosely in her lap. She looked so serene when she slept, a vision of beauty. Nothing like the teasing, seductive temptress Emily knew she could be. Emily wanted to touch her face, run her hand through her hair, but she hated the idea of disturbing her. So, she tried to stay still, although she clutched her hand a little tighter.

She thought of the reason for their visit, why they were headed back to Pennsylvania. Ali's parents were finalizing their divorce, and they were selling the Cape May home. Jason and Ali had organized a vacation, a sort of last hurrah for the DiLaurentis children and Jessica, and Emily's parents would join them, too. Emily was looking forward to seeing her mom and dad relaxed for once.

Emily was relieved that her parents were coming, she was glad that things were better with her mom. They had been, at least, since after Christmas. She had come out to her mother over Thanksgiving, she had finally told her about Ali, but it hadn't been pleasant. She was worried things might never be the same.

Pam had been in denial at first, ignoring what Emily had said, refusing to talk about it. When Emily had first told her, she kept on folding laundry, as if she were deaf. And when Emily had brought it up again, she'd simply stared off into the space behind her. And then suddenly, late Thanksgiving night, she was angry and yelling, unprompted, at Emily in the kitchen.

" _Well, have you thought about how this will impact your future?"_ she'd shouted at Emily. _"How are you going to have children? Have you considered how this might affect your swimming career? You don't want to ruin your life because you're going through some sort of phase."_

Emily had been so taken aback by the outburst that she hadn't been sure quite how to respond at first. Then, she was pissed. Livid. But her father had quickly entered the kitchen and tried to diffuse the situation. Pam merely threw her hands up at the sight of him and stormed into their bedroom, despite the fact that it was only 8:30.

Wayne had tried to comfort Emily, and it _was_ comforting that he didn't appear to have the same disappointments as her mother. He told her that Pam was just surprised, that she would eventually come around, but Emily wasn't so sure when she was still acting distant and passive aggressive a month later at Christmas.

Emily persevered, though, begging Pam to have dinner with the DiLaurentis', and after days of stalling, Pam had relented. Though, during the event, Emily had been certain she'd made a huge mistake.

* * *

 **Flashback.**

Alison combed through her hair, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She looked over her outfit appraisingly, like she might've assessed a design for flaws. She'd chosen a plain brown dress with a gold belt, her hair straightened and pushed back in a gold headband. Her makeup was natural, understated.

Before being at Radley, she might've told herself she looked great, hot, pretty. She might've smiled flirtatiously, pursed her lips in a kiss. But she didn't do that now. She merely thought to herself, _this is good enough._

She put the brush down, her jaw set almost painfully, but she didn't know how to make it relax. She couldn't put off the inevitable any longer, so she made her way downstairs, where her family waited. She could smell sweet potato mash as she crossed the landing, it smelled savory and delicious.

Jessica was bent over to take it and a few other dishes out of the oven. Ali moved to help her, casting a disapproving glance at her siblings. Jason only shrugged, and Courtney, who sat at the kitchen island looking like someone who'd been given the 900th spot in line at the DMV, ignored Ali, her head in her hand. Courtney was preoccupied, her gaze singularly trained on their 'father,' as if she was plotting a list of varied and elaborate ways to murder him.

"I don't understand why we have to have dinner there," Kenneth announced loudly, oblivious to Courtney's death stare. Alison could tell he was already drunk. "I just want to have a day of peace and quiet for once."

Courtney shot Jason a look, heaving a sigh, and Ali didn't need to be a mind reader to interpret it. They all knew Kenneth didn't understand the meaning of peace and quiet.

"They invited us, Ken," Jessica softly explained as she prepared the dishes for transport. "And it's only down the street. It would be impolite to say no."

This was her mother's justification, but everyone (except Kenneth) knew there was an additional reason. Emily had come out to her family over Thanksgiving, and Pam hadn't taken it very well. Not bad, just not great. So, Emily thought it would be a good idea if they did Christmas dinner together, to prove to her mom that nothing had changed, that she and Ali were the same people that Pam knew and liked. That they were all family.

But Ali wasn't as optimistic as her sweet Emily. Personally, she was frightened that things _would_ be different, that Pam _would_ see Ali in a different light. And that she wouldn't like what she saw.

"Fine," Kenneth said with a frustrated grumble. "Then, let's get this over with."

His tone, his manner, his general disposition all irritated the shit out of Alison, but she tried to hide it. As she helped her mother pack the food up, she tried to focus on the first holiday she'd get to spend with her girlfriend. She tried to be grateful that Pam didn't ban them from seeing each other. She even tried to muster excitement for whatever festive abomination Emily would likely choose to wear. Emily _loved_ holiday décor, and Ali fully expected to see some sort of awful Christmas sweater.

A few minutes later, Jessica was ready, and the DiLaurentis family loaded into the car. In the back seat, Courtney sat in the middle, and despite the fact that their arms touched, she feigned total ignorance of Ali's existence, staring straight ahead. Ali still considered it progress, though she couldn't revel in it for long.

She found herself pulling at her fingers, chewing the inside of her cheek, grinding her teeth. It escalated the closer they got to the Fields residence, and she was in the middle of deciding whether or not to bite off a nail when Courtney turned toward her with a sharp expression and hissed, "stop it."

Ali stopped, though she felt oddly satisfied to have annoyed her twin enough to force her to speak to her.

When they pulled up to the house a moment later, everyone piled out of the car, moving up the entry path. Her father paused, though, standing on the front lawn, his thumbs tucked into the top of his belt. He leaned on the back of his heels while his eyes flickered over the roof shingles, the siding, the windows, the porch. He was clearly thinking about how their oversized mansion was far superior, looking faintly pleased with himself. Ali rolled her eyes as she passed him.

Jessica knocked on the door, and Ali's teeth chattered as they waited. It was cold, it was Christmas in the northeast, after all, but that wasn't the only reason why. Ali was scared to see Pam again, she's scared to see Wayne. What if they weren't nice?

But the door flew open, and Wayne stood there smiling, Pam behind him. Kenneth shook his hand in an overbearing sort of way, but Wayne didn't seem to notice or care. He looked thrilled at having so many guests. Ali could feel his warmth, like she was hunched before a campfire, and it comforted her. It was such a stark contrast to her own father, whose presence, to her, was like having blood drawn.

While Pam and Jessica greeted each other, Emily hugged Jason, waved awkwardly to Courtney, and hugged Ali last. Ali inhaled the scent of her hair, it reminded her of Emily's pillow, and when she pulled away, Ali looked down and felt herself smirking.

Emily was, in fact, wearing a reindeer sweater.

"What?" Emily asked quietly with an inquisitive smile, still lingering close to Ali, her hand on her elbow.

"Nothing," Ali replied, pulling a little on the hem of Emily's sweater, wanting to kiss her hello, but refraining. "I just won a bet with myself."

Emily only continued to smile curiously, but then Ali became a little self-conscious, feeling the weight of Pam's gaze on the both of them. She glanced at her, and Pam's mouth was set in a thin line. She'd stopped listening to Jessica, who was actively listing off an array of recipe ingredients, but Mrs. DiLaurentis noticed and was quick to intercept her. She guided Pam by the shoulder towards the kitchen, offering to help her set the table.

Ali internally thanked her mother, sharing a slightly pained look with Emily. Courtney ignored the entire situation, looking far away, like she was imaging she was on a runway in Milan, and Jason merely shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. Kenneth was already pouring himself another drink.

Once the food was laid out, everyone sat, Pam and Wayne at opposite heads of the table, and Jessica, Jason, and Ken across from Emily, Ali, and Courtney.

"To family," Wayne toasted. It was simple, but Ali liked it. Pam looked blankly down at her food.

But as they started eating and talking conversationally, Pam kept glancing at them. By the third or fourth time, Ali realized she wasn't looking at Ali and Emily, but at Ali and Courtney. Pam had probably never seen them together and certainly not side by side. She looked a little hypnotized by the sight, and Ali, for one, was happy that they didn't dress similarly. Courtney wore a navy blue dress with white polka dots, a thin white belt, and white heels. She looked flawless as usual, which annoyed Ali.

After they finished passing around food, there was a small lull in conversation, utensils rattling, as Wayne shifted his attention to Courtney.

"So, what's it like in Los Angeles, Courtney?" he asked with genuine interest. "Emily tells me you're an actress now."

Courtney glanced up from her turkey, with a bit of a self-satisfied gleam in her eye.

"It's really great," she said, her voice so similar to Ali's. "I've only been there six months, but I can already tell it's where I want to be."

Ali was sure she would've said "belong," but Courtney seemed to be on better behavior with Wayne. For whatever mysterious reason, she wasn't channeling her typical disdainful self.

"I bet you like the weather a lot better," he laughed.

"Oh yeah," she agreed amiably. "It was sunny and about 60 degrees when I left. Not bad for late December."

"Is it that warm in San Francisco?" Pam asked, piping into the conversation. Ali wished Pam knew for herself, but she hadn't been out to visit Emily yet.

 _She'll probably never come now_ , Ali thought sadly.

"No, a little colder," Emily answered with a shy smile. "It was cloudy and 45 degrees when we left. But it's warmer if you go inland or up north to the wineries."

"Oh, the wineries," Jessica chimed in excitedly. "We need to take a trip there."

"All of us," she added, brushing her elbow with Pam's. Pam smiled faintly at the gesture as Jessica turned to the girls. "Have you two gone to any yet?"

"We've been up a few times," Emily replied, her face lighting up. "Sonoma was really pretty in October, all of the grapes were yellow."

"Which do you think you like better?" Wayne asked. "San Francisco or Los Angeles?"

Emily looked to Ali, prompting her to answer, but Ali didn't want to take the spotlight away from her.

"Well, we've only spent one weekend in LA so far," Emily started to answer slowly. "But the cities are really different, it's hard to even compare them."

Ali nodded, turning to look at Pam, but she was shocked, instead, to see Courtney intently watching and listening to Emily's answer. Courtney had been ignoring her for half a year, yet she paid attention now? But then she was eating again, her face impenetrable. If Ali hadn't turned, she might've never seen it happen at all.

"That whole state is garbage, if you ask me," Kenneth interjected, causing Ali to jerk her head in his direction, shift her thoughts away from her sister.

"I told Courtney she should move to New York. Now that's a city, right there," he said with patronizing authority.

Courtney paused, her fork above her plate, glaring at her farther.

"There isn't nearly enough work out there for someone just starting out, _dad_ ," she defended with a sneer, emphasizing the last word sarcastically.

"Well, I don't think that'll matter, _honey_ ," he said back, mirroring her tone. "We both know you won't be doing this for long. You're not exactly used to dealing with rejection, and that's all you'll get there."

Courtney glowered even more, if that was possible. Ali saw the whites of her knuckles as she gripped her fork tighter.

"Have you been out there, Ken?" Wayne asked, trying to pivot the conversation away from the tense subject.

"Yeah, to San Francisco," Kenneth answered through an obnoxious mouthful of food. "In the 70's, you know, when the city was full of queers."

Ali had just taken a sip of water and had to stop herself from spitting it out, almost choking in the process. Other than the muffled sounds of her coughs, no one spoke. Everyone had stopped eating, and Ali could barely bring her eyes up to look at her father.

"That's hardly appropriate language for the dinner table, Ken, especially on Christmas," Mrs. DiLaurentis chided, her voice soft but stern at the same time.

Kenneth looked around until his glazed over, drunken gaze landed on his wife. He seemed shocked that anyone had scolded him.

"What?" he asked, throwing a hand up. "It's true. Showing off in the streets, they're the ones who are inappropriate."

The silence thickened, and Ali felt it acutely. It was like breathing a heavy, viscous liquid that was slowly drowning her. Ali figured he'd felt this way, she could guess, but it had never come up. And, even though she expected it, it still felt surreal, terribly shocking and callous to hear the words said out loud. Especially now, in front of Pam, in light of everything she and Emily were trying to accomplish.

As the silence wore on, Ali became angrier. Normally she wouldn't rise to her father's bait, but there was something about _that_ in particular that she couldn't ignore. She wanted to say something, anything. Her jaw worked furiously, clenching and unclenching, as she tried to decide what exactly. But she didn't know how speak without yelling, how to look good to Emily's mother while also telling her father to fuck off. There was also a terrible fear settling in the back of her mind. What if Pam thought the same thing? What if, by taking a side, Ali alienated her further?

She felt Emily's hand on hers under the table, and she jumped slightly.

"It should be illegal," he added, either ignorant to his effect on the table or completely uncaring.

"Well, I think that's up to each of the states," Wayne replied coolly, looking like he hoped the conversation was settled.

But Ali knew her father well, and that he would not be so quick to give up. Jessica seemed to know this, too, closing her eyes slowly in frustration.

"It shouldn't be," Kenneth countered, taking another bite. "Being gay, it's just a choice after all. I don't know if it's for pity or attention—"

"It's not a choice," Emily said more harshly, interrupting him.

"That's your opinion," he said, casually jabbing his fork towards her. Ali thought she might jump up from the table and stab him with it, but Emily clenched her hand tighter over hers under the table.

"And, whether it is or isn't, that doesn't matter," he continued his rant. "We shouldn't bring that into our justice system, they shouldn't be able to get married."

"It's Christmas, dad," Jason said to him, beseechingly.

Kenneth merely gave him a look that said, _so?_

"Why not?" Wayne asked, with a slight laugh. "The license fees bring money into our government, I don't see anything wrong with it."

"That's just not what marriage stands for, Wayne, it's sacred," Ken said, getting riled by the lack of agreement at the table. "I mean, it's all a joke, isn't it? They can't build families, what if they make gay children? It's unnatural."

"So, you think gay people are lesser? That they don't deserve equal rights?" Emily grilled him, her tone even more livid than before.

Ali had a feeling that Emily was projecting slightly, that her anger wasn't based totally in what Ken was saying, but more in what her mother had. Ali looked at Pam, trying to gauge her reaction, but Mrs. Fields was only staring down at her plate, disengaged, her eyebrows thick and furrowed.

"That's not what I said," he answered condescendingly. "That makes me sound like an asshole. I'm just saying I'd be ashamed if that were in my family."

"And that doesn't make you sound like an asshole?" Ali accused hotly, unable to hold it back.

"Can we just drop this?" Jason begged.

"Excuse me?" Kenneth asked, ignoring his son, glaring at Alison.

"That's enough," Jessica intervened, her voice raised. Kenneth looked angrily at Jason, then at his wife, his eyes bulging, ready to keep up the fight. But a voice interrupted him before he could speak.

"You're so full of shit," Ali heard it say. The tone was chilly, measured, not Emily, who she expected, but the one on her right. It was Courtney.

Kenneth tracked the sound to the source of the statement, levelling Courtney with a deadly look.

"What did you just say?" he asked threateningly.

"You're really talking about the sanctity of marriage?" she continued, ignoring his question, inclining her head aggressively. "You think your marriage is so great? You think you're deserving of _your_ life, _your_ freedoms?"

"Watch it," he warned, leaning forward, too. "Who do you think puts the roof over your head? Who do you think pays for all your pedicures and manicures and dye jobs?"

Courtney's nostrils flared.

"I don't need you," she snarled.

"Well, too bad," he said dismissively, taking a huge bite of turkey. "You're stuck with me, I'm your father."

There was another long, heavy silence as Courtney continued to stare at him, like she was trying to roast him as thoroughly as the turkey in front of her. No one else at the table moved except for Kenneth, both siblings watching Courtney carefully, familiar with the tension that preceded something disastrous.

"No, you're not," she said, not loudly, but not quietly.

"Courtney," Jessica reproached immediately.

Courtney ignored her. Kenneth looked up again, locking eyes with her.

"I'm not what?" he asked slowly, his eyes looking narrowed and hostile.

"Do I look like you?" Courtney continued challengingly, dropping her spoon with a clatter. "Do I act like you?"

Kenneth regarded her more seriously, holding his glass up for another drink of his whiskey, pausing.

"Don't tell me you've never wondered," she said, her voice taunting. "Mom borrowing the lawn mower, a carton of milk over at the Hastings house—"

"Courtney," her mother said again, this time louder.

"Why would I care if _you_ were ashamed of me?" Courtney persisted, undeterred. "I'm ashamed of _you_."

Kenneth set his drink down, unsipped, on the table.

"And you're _not_ my father," Courtney finished, the sentence delivered like an arrow through the eye.

As soon as the last word left her mouth, Kenneth jumped up from the table, wood screeching across the floor. All of the plates clanged piercingly against each other as Emily, Ali, Jason, and Wayne stood, too. Courtney stayed seated, an unaffected expression on her face, as her father tried to round the table.

But Mr. Fields impeded his path, grabbing him by the arm.

"I think you've had one too many," he said, gruffly moving Kenneth across the dining room, "and you need to head home."

"Are you fucking kidding me—?" Kenneth shouted, the noises of his resistance becoming muffled as Wayne forcibly shifted him into the foyer.

"Let me fucking go!" he continued to shout. "Get off! You know what—you know what? You can all go fuc—" but Ali didn't hear the end of that sentence as the front door opened and slammed shut again.

They all stood there, looking like they'd been in a high speed accident. Ali looked at her sister, who was standing now, delicately folding and placing her napkin on the table. She was shocked, confused. Had Courtney defended her or was she just pissed about Kenneth's earlier comments? Courtney only briefly looked back at her before she walked evenly around the table, heading towards the kitchen.

"Courtney," Ali called after her, but Courtney was already at the back door. Ali scrambled to follow her, but by the time she was outside, Courtney was gone. She saw no one. Only an empty suburban yard.

* * *

 **Current day.**

Emily could still remember every word with crystal clarity. She could still see the profile of Ali's face, the hard line of her jaw, her eyes burning. She could still hear Courtney speaking in a voice she'd heard a thousand times in the halls of Rosewood Day, the one she used to torment peers and teachers, the one she used to destroy people.

It was single-handedly one of the most awkward and painful moments of her life. It cruelly reminded her that she lived in a bubble at Stanford. Her teammates, coaches, friends, dorm mates, they all knew Emily was gay, they even knew Ali. And no one cared. She'd forgotten that there were still people out there who were disgusted by her, people who wanted her to hide, lie, or be quiet. To disappear. And it was even worse that one of those people was Ali's father, someone she had known for years. It felt that much more personal.

However, though the dinner was an utter catastrophe, there had been one silver lining. Pam had come into Emily's room that night and pulled her close, crying. Through her tears and labored breaths, she'd told Emily she loved her, that she didn't want to be like 'that man,' that she was sorry. So, in a way, Emily was grateful for Kenneth and his bigotry. It brought her and her mother back together.

But it absolutely destroyed Ali's family. It was the final straw for Jessica, who moved out of the house to live with Courtney in LA. Courtney, who never came back that night. Courtney, who Emily had not shared a private conversation with in over a year.

Of everyone's reaction, Emily had been legitimately the most surprised by hers. Emily thought she would've been happy that her father was upsetting Ali and Jason, but Emily had never seen her so enraged. It made her wonder if Courtney and Ali gotten their bad behavior from their father. Where did Courtney store away all that anger when, outwardly, she looked so cool and collected?

But that's what she was best at, wasn't it? Keeping secrets?

It was how she acted still around Emily and Alison. Impermeable, untouchable, and aloof. She would've thought that after a year, Courtney would come around to talking to Emily again, that she wouldn't try so hard to avoid her. But she didn't come around. At Christmas, Courtney had totally ignored Emily, her eyes glossing over her. When they'd visited her and Jessica again in April, Courtney still didn't speak to her, regarding Emily like some sort of fashion accessory that Alison always wore. One that she hated.

But, despite that, Emily would sometimes catch her staring fixedly at the side of her face. Or she'd find Courtney closely watching Emily and Ali interact, wearing an unreadable expression. But as quickly as Emily would catch it, it would be gone again. It was like a rare whale spotting, Courtney's sudden awareness of Emily. It would breach the surface, soar high, and then crash back down, disappearing again to the deep, dark depths below. Emily never knew what it meant.

All she knew was that it was weird not talking to her former best friend when she saw her. It felt like Courtney was a ghost she couldn't communicate with. Like she was dead, but somehow still all around. Emily missed her. Sometimes she wanted to say something when they'd awkwardly run into each other in the hallway or if they were left alone at a table when Ali went to the bathroom. But Courtney would just take out her phone or avert her gaze, and Emily found her words caught in her throat, just behind her tongue.

 _It's probably for the best,_ she'd think. Ali would never want them to be close friends again. Emily supposed that that was the trade she'd made a year ago. Courtney's friendship for Alison's love.

She looked down at Ali, whose lips were slightly parted now, her hand twitching. She made little kicking movements, and Emily wondered what she was dreaming about. She kissed her forehead, hoping that it was a good dream.

* * *

What felt like one hundred hours later, Alison and Emily were exhausted and settled into the beach house. They were the first to arrive, so they went to sleep immediately that night. But Emily was up first thing the next morning, eager to start her day with a run on the beach.

She gingerly removed Ali's hand from across her stomach, kissing her on the cheek. Ali made some sort of adorable grumbling sound before turning over, and Emily smiled, dressing herself as quietly as possible.

While she ran, her sneakers pounding against the damp sand, a humid breeze came off the water, hitting her nostrils. It smelled so good, salty and crisp. The sun was also rising, blinding as it crested over the horizon, and Emily thought about her faintly formed visions of swimming in the Olympics. She thought about doing something like this every day, timing herself, pushing harder and farther.

But she was torn. She was happy with the balance she'd achieved over the last year. Alison had her own apartment, and while Emily lived in the dorms, she stayed with Ali most nights. Emily was training more than twenty hours a week, and Alison was fully committed to studying and transferring into Stanford, so there were days where they didn't see each other, too. It felt perfect, like they had enough of their own separate lives while still being totally connected. Emily couldn't have asked for a better outcome, and she worried about what kind of strain training for the Olympics would put on them.

She breathed heavily, beating her path back to the house. She'd have to find a solution for that on another day, on another run. When she was back inside, she changed into her bathing suit and went immediately back out to jump into the surf to cool off. It felt amazing.

It wasn't long before she was drying off in one of the large, wooden Adirondack chairs facing the ocean, relaxing, her eyes closed, when she heard footsteps behind her.

She looked over her shoulder to see Alison smiling, holding two cups of coffee, making her way down the path. She wore a pale pink bikini, green tinted Ray Bans, and her long blonde hair was loose and curly at her shoulders. Emily couldn't help but think that Alison wasn't just a beautiful girl. She was the _most_ beautiful girl.

"Good morning gorgeous," Ali said as she handed Emily her coffee, coming around to the front of Emily's chair and bending over to kiss her gently. Emily felt her lips pressed against hers, soft and delicious as always.

"You taste like the ocean," she said, still leaned over Emily's chair, her hand balanced on the wooden armrest. "Did you already go swimming?"

"Yes," Emily said back, lightly kissing Ali again, gently tasting her lips, too. " _You_ taste like coffee. Your mom got that vanilla roast again?"

Ali nodded, opening her mouth to speak, but before she could answer, they both heard the sound of an additional pair of feet scuffing through the sand behind them. Ali's body language became more guarded as she looked up, and Emily turned to see, though she was 99% sure who it was.

Courtney strolled down the sandy walkway that led down to the beach from their house, looking like she'd just walked out of a photo shoot. She was dressed in a flowing white cover up, she had giant, expensive looking sunglasses perched on her nose, and her nails were perfectly manicured. She shook her head a little as she saw the two of them, her current long mane of hair blowing in the ocean breeze, making her look even more imposing. Like a blonde-tinged blade.

"I didn't expect you to be up this early," she said to Alison as she sidled up to the two of them. It was hardly what Emily would call a loving familial greeting, neither sister bothered to even put on a pretense of hugging.

"Did you just get in?" Ali asked, ignoring the comment, standing taller next to Emily's chair.

"Yes," she said breezily, though Emily didn't believe it for a second. The way Courtney looked, that took _time_ , and it wasn't accomplished sitting on a plane and then in a car for nine hours.

Courtney merely sighed happily under the skeptical gaze of Emily and her sister, looking out over the beach. Emily was sure Ali rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses as she moved to settle herself comfortably in the chair next to Emily's.

"I love Cape May," Courtney said to no one in particular. Ali looked back up, giving her a look that implied, _'you're still here?'_

Courtney pretended not to see it, though, as she turned her head slightly, acknowledging Emily for the first time in what felt like ten years.

"Remember all the good times we had here, Em?" she said with a perfectly poised smile.

Emily's eyes widened in shock, both that Courtney had used her nickname and that she'd said anything to her at all.

"Yeah," she said with a slightly awkward pause.

"Visiting Morey's Piers for hot dogs and funnel cakes, going on rides for hours," Courtney reminisced, her intentions becoming all the clearer to Emily with each passing word. "You used to get so scared on the Sea Serpent, remember?"

"That was a long time ago," Emily said back flatly.

"Oh, please, Em, even the summer before senior year, she'd clutch my hand _so_ hard," she said, turning her attention back to Ali. Emily was now positive that Courtney was attempting a thinly veiled provocation of her twin.

But Ali merely picked at her nails, looking apathetic. But Emily wasn't convinced. She'd seen Ali do that very same mannerism when they had bad service at a restaurant or had to wait overly long in a line. It was her go to move when she was trying to hide her otherwise overt irritation.

"Though it's been even longer for you, right sis? Five years?" Courtney continued when Ali didn't immediately rise to the bait. "Do you even remember Cape May very well?"

"Yes," Ali finally said, tilting her head to look up at her sister. "But I can safely say I never ate the street meat or sat in those vomit stained roller coaster seats. Sounds awfully common for a big time actress such as yourself, doesn't it?"

Emily rested her hand casually on Ali's arm, hoping to remind Ali not to let her sister get under her skin. The gesture was not lost on Courtney, though, her lips pulling in annoyance, her jaw briefly clenching as she glanced down at Emily's hand. But it was quickly replaced by a placidly wan smile.

"That's kind of you to call me big time, Ali," Courtney replied, saccharine sweet.

"That's not what I meant—" Ali protested, but Courtney interrupted her, motioning to a group of guys standing by their surf boards, sticking out of the sand.

"Who knows, maybe they'll recognize me," she chirped, turning on her heel.

"She'd love that," Ali mumbled, leaning back into her chair as Courtney walked away. Emily said nothing, merely sipping her coffee.

"I hope to God she doesn't become famous," she added, glaring at her as she walked down the beach. "I might lose my mind, for real, if someone called me Courtney again."

This wasn't the first comment from Ali that had made that had implied as much. In fact, Courtney had landed several parts over the last six months and each one seemed to make Ali itch. She was convinced it was some elaborate form of revenge Courtney was exacting against her. Emily had her doubts, though she was sure that torturing Ali was just a bonus on top of Courtney's own success.

Emily rubbed Ali's arm soothingly, but Ali continued to watch Courtney approach the guys, in that way that almost always reminded Emily of a predatory cat tracking prey. Emily gazed at Ali's profile, though, noticing the small golden hairs at her hair line, the dark blonde tips of her eyelashes.

But her attention failed to register with Ali. She was visibly still brooding on what Courtney had said. Emily could practically see her thinking it, wondering about everything she'd missed, both with Emily and in general.

"You know, I actually have a memory with you here," Emily said in an effort to divert her dark thoughts.

Ali finally looked at her, her lips moving into a faint smile. "You do?"

"Yes, from 6th grade," Emily continued. "We weren't friends, but it was you."

"What happened?" Ali asked, turning herself slightly towards Emily, her lips curved in a way that Emily struggled to look away from.

"Well, you were sitting a few towels away from my family. You looked mysterious in your big sunglasses," she said, playfully pushing Ali's current sunglasses up her nose and into her hair. Ali squinted into the sunlight, objecting slightly, but Emily loved that she could see all the colors, the yellows, grays, and blues of her irises.

"I was staring at you while you snickered with some of your friends. I was thinking…" she started, but became a little embarrassed, trailing off.

"What?" Ali encouraged.

"I was thinking that I wanted to touch you," Emily said, trailing her fingertips over Ali's arm again. "Braid your hair. Smell your clothes when you stepped out of them at night."

Ali shifted slightly as she said the last part, Emily could see goosebumps on her arms.

"Then what?" Ali asked, her lips slightly parted.

"You saw me," Emily admitted sheepishly, looking away for a moment. "You caught me staring, and you smirked."

And Ali did it again now, an older, yet still perfect replica of what she'd looked like so many years ago.

"I _knew_ you had a thing for me," Ali teased triumphantly, reaching to tickle Emily's exposed ribs.

Emily jerked away, avoiding her. She grabbed her hand when Ali tried again, and pulled the blonde towards her, over the space between the two chairs. She caressed Ali's cheek, trailing her hand across her jaw.

"You know, I thought," Emily said in a slightly tremulous voice. "I thought a girl like you would never be friends with me, definitely never be into me."

Ali pressed her forehead against Emily's, glancing down at her mouth. "And look at us now," she whispered, nuzzling Emily's nose before sliding her lips over the brunette's.

As they kissed, Emily thought about how happy she was, how happy she'd been. She was so in love with Alison, Emily didn't have eyes for anyone else.

"Get a room," a male voice said behind them.

They broke apart, and Ali craned her neck backwards in curiosity.

"Hey, asshole," she said smiling, shading her eyes. And, despite her words, Emily considered it a much warmer greeting than she'd given Courtney.

"I like those trunks," Ali added, looking at Jason's bathingsuit.

"You do? My girlfriend got them for me," he said, pulling at the fabric with pride.

"Ooooh, girlfriend?" Ali intoned back to him teasingly. "Do we get to meet this girlfriend?"

"Maybe," he said mysteriously as he stood next to their chairs.

"Something tells me we already know her," Ali responded with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes, ignoring the question. "Are you going to give me a hug or what?"

Ali sighed exaggeratedly, but she stood, wrapping her arms around her brother. Emily stood, hugging Jason, too.

"Courtney's here," Ali mentioned after Emily pulled away from him, her tone peeved.

"Oh yeah?" Jason reacted much more excitedly. "Where at?"

"Just over there," Ali said gesturing down the beach. Courtney happened to dramatically flip her hair just as Ali pointed at her. "Making some lifelong fans, I'm sure."

"I'm going to go say hi," he said. "Surf tomorrow morning, Em? You bring your wet suit?"

"Of course," Emily replied cheerfully.

As soon as Jason walked away, Emily took Ali's hand again, pulling her close, and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Come on, let's go get in the water," she begged, dragging Ali by the hand, trying to force her to follow.

"You never get tired of it, do you?" Ali laughed, playfully battling Emily's attempt, digging her feet into the sand.

"No," Emily giggled, taking in the sight of Alison in her bikini again, enjoying the look of her taut muscles as she struggled against Emily's grip. She smirked, making a quick decision.

She released Ali's hand but leaned forward, scooping the blonde up from behind the knees, so that she was carrying her bridal style. Ali cried out in surprise, but there was nothing she could do as she was hoisted into Emily's arms.

"You always play hard to get," Emily teased as she kissed Ali's cheek, walking them towards the water.

"You're in trouble," Ali said back, hooking an arm around Emily's neck. "Payback time."

As they walked, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to that spot, that terribly torturous spot behind Emily's ear, and massaged it with her tongue. Emily almost dropped her as her feet stuttered slightly, making a strangled noise, but somehow she persisted until she plunged them both into the cold surf.

"Fuck," Ali yelped, quickly clinging to Emily for warmth, wrapping her legs around her waist. Emily held her tight, loving how hard Ali's fingers pressed at the nape of her neck, how close the blonde's face was to hers.

"Why do you do this to me?" Ali asked miserably, shivering as Emily walked them deeper into the ocean.

"I love to be with my two favorite things," Emily replied happily. "You and the water."

Ali rolled her eyes playfully, smiling slightly. Emily took it as permission to kiss her again, soaking her up, running her hands over her back. She kissed her until her legs were tighter around her waist, until Ali stopped shivering, until she was warm again.

 **Yay! Completed! Let me know what you thought or what you'd like to see in the future. I'm super excited about the finale and Sara Shepard's fanfic.  
**


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